Action

Logan

Logan (2017) – Action | Thriller

Directed by: James Mangold

Starring: Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart

How I Watched: Theatres

Review by Holly Hill

Experiencing Logan is a lot like when you’re a kid and you think your Dad is a super strong perfect guy that can do no wrong. Then you grow up and you realize your Dad is just a human being and he’s got shit to deal with, too. He’s getting older, he’s got to put up with your bullshit all the time, and you start to notice drinking habits you never noticed before. It’s slightly disappointing but you still love the guy, and I think most people will feel that way about the legendary Wolverine after this movie is over.

Logan might be the most nontraditional comic-book movie audiences have ever seen. In fact, if it wasn’t for a physical X-Men comic-book showing up in the movie, you might even forget it’s supposed to be a comic-book movie. A huge pat on the back for taking the chance on making Logan rated ‘R’. Deadpool was the most recent big Marvel movie to do this and its own success coupled with Logan can ensure that adults will see many more made with this intention. Not only does it make for some pretty gruesome killing scenes, but we also get a lot of F-bombs which actually do add realism to the movies. Who doesn’t say fuck a lot when they’re being stabbed repeatedly in the stomach by a child?

The acting is phenomenal. Hugh Jackman gives it his all in his 10th (and apparently last) credit playing Wolverine. What a ride it’s been. From his ridiculous jumping from a car onto a helicopter in slow motion film, to this raw heart wrenching portrait of a man who has seen some shit go down and is kind of ready for it all to end.

The latest Chloë Grace Moretz type to tackle the big screen is Dafne Keen, who plays Laura, a mini me version of the Wolverine with steel claws in her hands and feet. She doesn’t say cunt or anything like that, but she does kick ass. She also packs a much more serious punch, killing more than twenty people before we even hear her speak a word.

Patrick Stewart is back possibly for the last time as well as Charles Xavier, who has recently done something terrible, is losing his mind, and is suffering from seizures. Logan works to keep Charles hidden away in a water tank in Mexico, shooting him up with seizure medication to make sure he doesn’t accidentally paralyze the world with one of his super earthquake seizure things. Stewart oddly enough adds a lot of comedy to the movie. The audience has grown up with Xavier, watching him learn to control his powers in previous films, build his school and train the X-Men, and now we watch him decay into an old man with a brain problem. He’s tired, needs Logan to help him pee, wants to take advantage of a nice family’s hospitality and endanger them for a night, likens himself to a box of avocados, and watches old westerns with Laura. Stewart makes the movie funny, sad, but mostly endearing.

Overall Logan is a strange, but wonderful movie to experience. As long as the audience doesn’t go in expecting to see another X-Men movie, I think most will leave the theater entirely pleased with the end of Wolverine’s story.

Death Race 2050

Death Race 2050 (2017) – Action

Directed by: G.J. Echternkamp 

Starring: Manu Bennett and Malcom McDowell

How I Watched: Netflix

Review by: Eric Scot Lemons

Death Race 2000 is a campy political satire car racing film from 1975 directed by Paul Bartel and produced by Roger Corman. In 2008, Paul W.S. Anderson directed a gritty remake called Death Race starring Jason Statham, which spawned two sequels that were probably shit-sack city, but who knows because nobody fucking cares. In 2017, which is the year I am writing this and possibly you are reading this, G.J. Echternkamp directed the once-again-Corman-produced sequel/reboot Death Race 2050, which brings back the camp and dark humor of the original but in the dawn of the digital garbage heap of the Trump-era.

And despite being released three days before Trump’s inauguration, this film is a satire on the kind of dystopic/despotic vision associated with our benevolent mango-skinned leader. Malcolm McDowell, the Chairman of the United Corporations of America, has inexplicable hair and a complete disrespect for woman, often seen amidst nude women of color whom have no lines and seemingly received no direction other than to let their titties fly. He loves power and hates his constituents, feeding into their bloodlust in an almost condescending manner. But really, this is just a caricature of any dictator; unhinged and unrelatable. And frankly, doesn’t look or act much different than Mr. President as played by Sandy McCallum in the original. And that, like many other flaws, is what makes Death Race 2050 a poor follow-up to the 1975 cult classic.

Let’s fucking talk about style, because as a man with a drawer full of cargo shorts, I know style is everything. This was honestly one of the worst attributes, given that it has no cohesive look. The show within the movie looks like a proof of concept for Speed Racer, by the Wachowski Sisters. You know, that “everything in front of a green screen then pasted together like a moving collage” feel you get from faux-meta-camp films like Kung Fury. From a personal point, I fucking love this style. It is erratic and never complacent, bright colors and fast-moving images that could either give you a seizure or your sperm autism. If the entire film was like this, I’d give it 200 units of review, but alas, nope. No review units for you, you silly fucks. Many of the action scenes were mapped out like the worst episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess, feeling boringly staged and purposefully lazy. The car races looked like shit, but they felt like an homage to the cars (plastic atop go-kart frames) from the original, so that was fun. Scenes inside felt empty and poorly-lit. It was too the point that I actually checked the credits to see if this was some team-effort with direction, but fuck no.

The acting was the same kind of disconnect in quality. Manu Bennett plays the hero, and while he is handsome as a Gerard Butler knock-off that I was sure was a wrestler-turned-thespian, he doesn’t really hit the comedic points, although there are times he looks right into the camera and is a believable badass. The love interest is Marci Something, and she kinda looks like a girl I knew in high school who now works at a hardware store. She was actually pretty good when the scene gave her something to work on, however, a lot of the plotting had her visibly struggling with how to read the lines. The main rival is a character named Jed Perfectus, played by Burt Grinstead, and he, besides Malcolm McDowell, was the only actor to nail the tone in all his scenes. Being a strong man with severe insecurity, he eventually devolves into a zombie-looking display of desperation with killer abs and gold speedo. His mental breakdowns are equal parts hilarious and fucked.

It is so hard to call this film a sequel because the plot is almost exactly the same as the original film, yet it clearly takes place after the events of the original. The third act either caught me in a haze of marijuana smoke I had underestimated, or was just fucking stupid weird. There’s a rebellion but the leader of the rebellion, played by a haggard and creepy Yancy Butler, is in cahoots with The Chairman, which is only revealed in the most awkward and unerotic sex scene devoted to whatever iMovie computer module they had on set. The ending is strange and yet fascinating, and I don’t know if I gleaned the right message, but I saw it as “Kill each other instead of having the government do it.” Because after a speech by Manu Bennett, everyone just starts beating each other up and the two love interests kiss as the world combusts in the background. Roll credits, mofos. 

Look, I get it, camp is hard to nail. There are moments in the film that are truly hilarious, like the only conversation between two females takes place in a hotel saloon called Bechdel’s Bar. But overall, the satire felt sophomoric and it lacked the main ingredient devoted to screen by Corman in the past; fun. Make a fun fucking movie, people.

Deadpool

DEADPOOL

Deadpool (2015) – Action | Comedy

Directed by: Tim Miller

Starring: Ryan Reynolds and T.J. Miller

How I Watched: Amazon Instant Video

Best Line: “I had another Liam Neeson nightmare. I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it. They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he’s just a bad parent.”

(I’m going to start this out by telling you that I have next to no familiarity with Deadpool and the universe surrounding him in the comic books. I sincerely apologize if I make any blasphemous misinterpretations or assumptions in the following review.)

Hollywood took a risk here. Allowing the X-Men franchise to stray into the world of violent rated R films was not without the potential hazard of being dead on arrival. Middle America is stuffy and boring and for some reason, Hollywood makes most of their choices to appease these pastor-driven zombies. I mainly drift toward independent film to avoid this, so when I heard “Marvel is making a Rated R action comedy,” my eyes and ears definitely perked up.

Ryan Reynolds hasn’t exactly had it easy since Green Lantern shit the bed in 2011. With movies like R.I.P.D, The Woman in Gold, and Self/less coming out and causing everyone to scratch their heads, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was over for him. Deadpool is more than enough to get his career back on track, though. In the movie, you get a sort of Van Wilder on a cocaine binge. His one-liners fly out of his mouth at a rapid pace and laughing at one might cause you to miss the next. He’s not afraid to make fun of himself either. There are at least a couple references to his last attempt at superhero stardom.

The other cast is unfortunately pretty underwhelming. T.J. Miller is funny as a bar owner and Wilson’s friend, but everyone else just seems to be there. The film’s antagonist is a British dude doing a Jason Statham impression and seems to really ride Reynolds’ wave throughout. Thinking about it now, though, this may have been the intention. Reynolds easily carries each scene, whether he is in the suit or casting jokes in his hamburger-like skinjob.

While Deadpool doesn’t exactly showcase a budget that its X-Men counterparts would receive, it makes the most of what it has. The script is fragmented in a way that allows those unfamiliar with the story to follow along without actually focusing too much on Deadpool’s origin. Superhero movies fall into the ‘origin story’ trap far too often (ahem, Spiderman, cough, cough) and it was nice to see it presented a different way. I realize that Reynolds was introduced in X-Men Origins: Wolverine as Wade Wilson and Deadpool, but it really doesn’t feel like those are connected at all once you watch this movie.

Maybe I was a little spoiled by violent action comedies like Kick-Ass and Kingsman, but I was prepared for a little more insanity that there actually was in Deadpool. Don’t get me wrong, right from the hilarious credit sequence, the movie is pretty nuts. Think Guardians of the Galaxy, but with stripclubs and George Carlin’s seven words you can’t say. From the way people were talking about Deadpool though, I was expecting to have my mind blown. Dredd and Punisher: War Zone both featured an unbelievable amount of jaw-dropping bloodshed, and even Netflix’s series Daredevil went off the handle once in a while. Deadpool has its fair share of R-rated insanity, but I felt like they could have gone crazier.

This was the perfect way for Marvel and Fox to dip their feet in the adult-aimed, superhero water. Grab a star that is self-aware that his last attempt at being a superhero hit a wall full of broken lanterns and let him run wild as a swearing, murdering jester in a red suit for an hour and a half. Like I said before, this could have exploded in their faces, but honestly, most everything works in Deadpool. It’s funny, pretty damn violent, and gives hope to a franchise that really, could have used this shot of coffee in its arm. If you haven’t already, check it out. If you have, watch it again. I’m sure like me, you missed a bit when you were laughing.

Final Score: 3.5/4

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Similar Films: Kick-Ass, Kingsman: The Secret Service, Guardians of the Galaxy

Blade Runner: The Final Cut

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Blade Runner: The Final Cut (1982) – Science Fiction | Action

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Starring: Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer

How I Watched: Blu-Ray

Best Line: “All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”

The first time I saw Blade Runner, it was playing on cable in standard definition and it was the spectacularly underwhelming theatrical version. For those unfamiliar, Blade Runner has had a tumultuous history, and seven versions exist that we know of. I really enjoy Ridley Scott’s films, but after seeing that cut of Blade Runner, I had no real intention of watching any other version as it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth. What I did take note of though, was the world that Scott had created as well as the incredibly cool Vangelis score. So when I heard that a sequel was being made by a director that I really respect (Prisoners‘ Denis Villenueve), I thought I’d give The Final Cut a try. And god damn, I’m glad I did.

Perhaps it is not fair to dislike a film for something as minute as voiceovers, but when it comes down to it, this is the main culprit behind my disdain of the theatrical cut of Blade Runner. Harrison Ford’s narration is cheesy and comes across as condescending, as if we’re too stupid to follow the storyline. It almost reveals too much about Ford’s character Deckard, and strips away the natural mystery that Scott intended for the audiences. It’s a ham-fisted approach and honestly changes the tone of the entire film. Luckily in The Final Cut, this narration has been completely removed.

It’s obvious how much influence this film has had on the genre of Science Fiction. The neons and electronic score, flying cars, cascading skyscrapers, hyperrealistic androids and dystopian future are all on full display throughout Blade Runner. It’s easy to see why many consider this the peak of Sci-Fi film. Truth is though, this movie is more closely related to noir fims like L.A. Confidential or Chinatown.

The themes that Blade Runner address are deeply philosophical and grow exponentially larger once the film’s antihero Roy Batty (a ridiculously good Rutger Hauer) is introduced. Like many throughout history, Roy is consumed by the philosophy of what it is to be alive and those limits we must all face. I have a feeling that Ridley Scott underestimated Hauer’s acting chops and there is tragically too little of Roy Batty by the time the credits roll.

The set design is perhaps, Blade Runner‘s greatest cinematic achievement. The slow zooming aerial shots are incredibly breathtaking, and though at times you can tell that these shots feature scaled models, the detail is amazingly unbelievable. Scott created a world (with the assistance of H.R. Giger) that was almost revolting in Alien and a good amount of that carried over in Blade Runner. I’ve always been impressed with the dreamworlds in Terry Gilliam’s movies (none more than Brazil) and I get the same feeling from the set design in Blade Runner.

The score by 1980’s electronic virtuoso Vangelis, is one of the most important additions to the movie. I cannot imagine any other score than this synthesizer-soaked soundtrack sweeping over the shots of the dark dystopian metropolis. The neon-lit rain and absolute darkness are accompanied perfectly by the music and it gives a feeling of such wonder, that you can’t help but want to visit this insane landscape.

I’ve heard that “The Director’s Cut” version of the film is the next best way to go if you can’t get your hands on The Final Cut. Unfortunately, this version was not actually supervised by Ridley Scott and instead was rushed out to the public by the studio in 1992. I picked this version up on Laserdisc a few years ago, but did not watch it in fear of being let down by what was left out compared to The Final Cut. All I can say is, if it’s your first time seeing this movie, be safe and make sure it is this Final Cut. The theatrical version is relatively terrible to this and if you enjoy Science Fiction, you owe it to yourself to see The Final Cut.

Final Score: 4/4

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Similar Films: Looper, Total Recall (1990), Brazil

The Revenant

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The Revenant (2015) – Drama | Action

Directed by: Alejandro Gonzalez-Inarritu

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hardy

How I Watched: Theater

Best Line: “It turns out Jesus is a squirrel. A big fat meaty one. And I shot and ate that son of a bitch.”

This film is a monument to brutality; an absolute monster that initiates its death march in the hunt to crush your being within the first few seconds. Emmanuel “Chivo” Lubezki‘s endless sweeping shots that we are all still coming to terms with (see Children of Men, Birdman, Gravity, shit, ANYTHING by Malick in the last 10 years) are at their most devastating and vicious throughout. You know that feeling when a day is coming to an end and you just want those last few minutes of light? That’s the feeling I got here and it lasted for a very intense 156 minutes.

The Revenant is important in so many ways, but I’d like to start with some testosterone-driven reasons. This is a god damn revenge flick. Straight up, blackened, hardcore revenge. This is also a survival movie. Those of you that saw the previews for this and pictured Rambo running through the forests of First Blood or Anthony Hopkins fooling that Kodiak in The Edge will not be disappointed. I know, because I loved The Revenant like those movies, as if I was lost in that great hopeless expanse with them.

Now, I’ve also heard some remarks concerning the pacing of this film. Listen, I get it. I happened to hear the same rumblings walking out of Inarritu‘s Birdman and definitely felt this way the first time I saw his epic, Babel. This is not as much movie though, as it is an experience. Experiences on the screen are meant to pick you up out of your seat and treat you as if you are part of the story. It usually is triggered at the beginning; a slow panning shot with no credits and no dialogue. Just the slow movement of the camera, welcoming you to join. If I see this at the beginning of a movie (There Will Be Blood, holy shit) I’m in, and I’m in for the long haul. The pacing is part of that experience, no matter how long Leo scuffles through the snow in silence.

I suppose I should discuss the acting. Both DiCaprio and Hardy are phenomenal in this. If you’re expecting to see some Titanic-y Leo or ripped-up Hardy, you’re going to be let down. They look more like extras that fell in the mud on Deadwood than they do Hollywood stars. This is all part of it though.

DiCaprio grabs the screen from the beginning and just puts it in his pocket. Never have I seen him more outstanding. I really felt like he was in pain and that his quest was driven by overwhelming hatred. Which brings me to his fellow nominee, Hardy. There’s a lot of us out there that get Tom Hardy. We just get it. Not Bane Hardy. No, I’m talking about the incredibly horrifying beast in Bronson and the quiet badass in Warrior. While he’s great in this, and it’s definitely top-5 Hardy, this is Leo’s film. Hardy is really just a great complement to the whole show.

Now onto the music. God damn, the absolutely batshit score in this movie is so nuts. It does a great job ramping up the action scenes and pressing on your chest during some of the more emotional scenes, but where it really shines is in the film’s quieter moments. It’s really not fair to describe it in words, but it really felt like Twin Peaks-era Angelo Badalamenti being rearranged by a classically-trained serial cannibal confined to an asylum. This is all part of the experience.

The Revenant is not for everyone. Between the lack of female performances, the sheer intensity that does not let up, and the pacing, it’s enough to keep a lot of people away. The only spoiler I’ll give you is in the form of this recommendation. When that first shot envelops the canvas in that theater and the music softly sweeps over the crawling shot of the bubbling mountain stream, jump in. Just let it take you. You won’t be sorry.

Final Score: 4/4

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Similar Films: The Edge, The Grey, First Blood

Kingsman: The Secret Service

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Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) – Action | Comedy

Directed by: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: Colin Firth and Taron Egerton

How I Watched: Amazon Instant Video | Blu-Ray

Best Line: “I’m a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.”

Director Matthew Vaughn seems to know exactly what an audience wants when they go to a movie. Whether it’s 2010’s Kick-Ass or the excellent X-Men: First Class, Vaughn consistently provides a funny and violent trip that is sure to satisfy even the most jaded film-goer. When the TV spots first dropped for this one, I had my doubts – a lot of them. But when I finally watched it last year after a glowing suggestion from a friend, I realized I should never have doubted it at all.

If you appreciate stylized hyperviolence in films as much as I do, this is a crowning achievement in that area. There are certain scenes in this movie that will make your jaw hit the floor. Just like Kick-Ass, the film does not shy away from exceptionally bloody wounds that are so insane, you can’t help but laugh. Sure, they’re absolutely computer generated wounds, but god damn, they’re ridiculous.

Speaking of which, the best scene in the movie takes place in a Southern Baptist Church. This is where The Kingsman separates itself from the rest of the Spy Movie crowd. It is so out of control and  vicious that you can’t help but bust up laughing. Colin Firth goes full Rambo amid a moshpit of rabid Westboro Baptist-like psychos set to the wild solo section of Lynyrd Skynard’s “Free Bird.” It is honestly one of my favorite scenes in cinematic history and has to be seen to believed.

I can’t help but wonder what Hollywood would have done to this film had it not been so obviously British. It does not take the tamed approach to action films that Hollywood does and instead pours on great amounts of foul language and violence. Sure, a lot of it is bathed in a cockney slang that occasionally requires subtitles to translate, but that’s half the fun. Even Samuel L. Jackson has an accent in this. It’s not British, but it’s definitely a good time.

I think having a surround sound setup in a home theater is absolutely necessary to enjoy a movie like this. I know a lot of people out there don’t have one, but your experience will definitely benefit from it with this movie. A lot of the scenes feature some spinning camerawork and slow-motion choreography that is accompanied perfectly by the sound editing. Home theaters were made for films like this one.

One thing I can’t figure out is how McDonald’s managed to product-place itself so well in a couple scenes. This movie does not strike me as one that needs to do that like any Michael Bay ride, but there are a few instances that strangely pop up in The Kingsman. Don’t get me wrong, they use it in a way that is funny, but it is still extremely odd.

The acting in The Kingsman is great. With the main characters of Taron Egerton and Colin Firth accompanied by the likes of Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Caine and Mark Strong, the movie is in very good hands. And for those of you Star Wars freaks out there, there is even a Mark Hamill sighting. This one isn’t exactly going to pass the Bechdel Test, but hey, how many action movies do?

All you out there that have seen this, might (and probably will) be pleased to know that the sequel is in the works and is due to drop in 2017. With the likes of Channing Tatum, Julianne Moore and Halle Berry joining (as well as a rumored Colin Firth return), Kingsman: The Golden Circle should be just as fun as this one.

This one is really a great movie all around. The ending though, is perhaps one of the better payoffs I’ve seen in any film recently. There are quite literally fireworks used to end the story and it, like the church scene, is a laugher. By the way, any movie that manages to slip in some Bryan Ferry is going to win me over every time.

 

Final Score: 4/4

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Similar Films: Kick-Ass, The James Bond Series, John Wick