THE O.C. SUNDAYS – VOLUME EIGHT: S01:E08 – THE RESCUE

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Eight – Season One: Episode Eight – The Rescue

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Recap:

Marissa is such a narc. “I have no one,” said the girl who literally had three people right by her side caring about her well being before she took a bunch of pills and almost died in a dirty alley in Tijuana. Remember how Ryan and Seth lied about going to Mexico? Well now they’re a bit fucked because Marissa nearly OD’d so they had to call their parents and let them know. Thanks Marissa.

It’s very early morning at the Cohen house and everyone is pretty depressed about the whole thing. It’s Sandy’s first day at his new job, Ryan has a meeting with Harbor school (the exclusive private school in Newport) to see if he qualifies to go there, and everyone is just waiting to hear back from the hospital on how Marissa is doing. The phone rings on the sweet ass cordless landline and we cut to The Cohens at the hospital.

Jimmy is watching over Marissa as they come in, and he informs them that she will be fine. Jimmy thanks Ryan for finding Marissa and says that if they hadn’t air lifted her out she probably would have died. Julie comes in to insult everyone because she has failed as a parent so she clearly has to take her aggressions out on the Cohens.

Sandy: “Don’t take it personally. Julie has just been through every parent’s nightmare.”
Kirsten: “I’m sure she’ll apologize.”

Sandy: “You are? It’s Julie Cooper we’re talking about.”

As the Cohens go to leave, Julie pulls Ryan aside and says everything terrible that’s happened to Marissa is Ryan’s fault. Ryan says he’d never do anything to hurt Marissa and Julie says he’s never going to see her again and she’ll make sure of it.

Later that day at the Harbor school Ryan goes to meet with the Dean, Dr. Kim. The school is basically a college campus and a few students mill about because it’s registration week.

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Kirsten is talking to all the faculty while Seth shows Ryan around. He is clearly impressed by the swimming pool and the basic rich peopleness of the place. Ryan goes in to meet Dr. Kim and right away she insults Seth.

“Ryan, nice to meet you. Seth, always interesting to see you.”

Dr. Kim isn’t impressed with Ryan’s truancy and criminal record, but is impressed with his grades. She says that if Ryan can pass a few tests he can come to rich people school.

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Seth is reading on the school balcony while waiting for Ryan and there is a terrible shot of a green screen ocean behind him. Nice 2003 set. The filming location for this school is catholic girl’s college in LA and you can actually see the ocean from it but for some reason they needed it to feel like the ocean was RIGHT THERE, so green screen was the obviously terrible choice. Summer shows up looking sad about Marissa and Seth invites her over. Seth says that they should go by and cheer her up when she’s feeling better. Summer almost says yes, but then cheerleaders walk by and give her a ‘why you talking to that nerd’ look, and she makes a half ass promise about it because she does not want to be seen hanging out with Seth.

At Sandy’s new job, Rachel is showing him around and flirting her face off with him. Sandy looks at the kind of work he’ll be handling and is disappointed it’s mostly rich people suing other rich people for bad Botox and yacht noises. Sandy keeps wanting to go to court for most of these cases, but Rachel is trying to get him to settle most of the cases.

Julie talks to Jimmy about taking sole custody of Marissa and Kaitlin. Jimmy says he’ll fight her on it. They whisper fight while Marissa hears the whole thing. Time to run away from her problems and ruin someone else’s life because hers is going so poorly!

Ryan is trying to study and Seth is obsessing to him over Summer blowing him off. He finally convinces Seth to stop talking when the phone rings. It’s Marissa and she’s’ so upset she NEEDS Ryan ASAP. He drops everything (including his future at Harbor school) to visit her. Marissa apologizes and says she wasn’t trying to kill herself. She just wanted to escape. Ryan says he understands because he’s trying to get laid.

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Julie comes back in and Ryan hides in the bathroom while she has a freak out. Ryan says he has to go take the test and he’ll be back after that. Marissa seems fine with that but you never know with her.

Julie wants to send Marissa to Dr. Burke, a psychiatrist in San Diego. She works at some recovery center and Julie says Dr. Burke will be in to evaluate her. Marissa grabs her phone and makes another “MY LIFE IS SO TERRIBLE” phone call, this time to Summer, to rally Ryan and Seth to save her!

Summer stops by Seth’s and finds Captain Oats, an adorable plastic horse from Seth’s childhood that she immediately makes fun of him for (hang on, Princess Sparkle is coming).

Summer: “We need to do something radical. We need Ryan.”

Seth: “What’s wrong with me am I not radical enough?”

Summer: “That depends are you ready to take on Julie Cooper?”
Seth: “We Need Ryan.”

*they attempt to exit Seth’s room*

Seth: “That’s my bed.”

Summer: “Uh-huh.”

Seth: “Just wanted you to know.”

Now Seth and Summer are in on the “let’s ruin Ryan’s future” train. They go to break him out of his placement exam because even though Marissa is in ZERO danger, she needs HELP again. Since Ryan can’t wait like 20 minutes to an hour to finish his test, he hand sit in half done to Dr. Kim and says it wouldn’t have worked out any and leaves because MARISSA.

Meanwhile Marissa is being evaluated, and the doctor pretty much is confirming that Marissa is an alcoholic. She says not unkindly, “I’m here because accidentally or not you nearly killed yourself.” While Marissa is legit getting the help she needs, Summer comes down the hall dressed as a Candy Striper to break her out of the hospital. Because undercover.

The doctor talks to Jimmy and Julie and says she can definitely get help here in Newport, but Julie wants Marissa committed to the institute. Like she’s got the money for that. Julie goes behind Jimmy’s back and tells the doctor that they’ve decided they want Marissa committed.

Ryan shows up just in time to put Marissa in a candy striper outfit and Summer distracts Julie and the doctor. Luke shows up with flowers and Marissa is like NOPE. He see’s Julie and puts together that they’re trying to escape. He lets them go and does the first nice thing! Aw, I love watching Luke become a good human.

Jimmy comes by The Cohen’s to talk to Sandy about custody but he’s not home. Kirsten says it’s not okay that he tried to kiss her but that they’re old friends and it’s silly to let something so small get in the way of their friendship. Kirsten and Jimmy show up to where Sandy and Rachel are having ‘welcome to the firm’ drinks. She finds out where she is from his front desk at work. However, it clearly looks like they’re getting drunk on the job in a weird date situation. Because that’s exactly what’s happening. Jimmy sees that this is awkward and they leave with a final bitch remark from Kirsten to Sandy: “I’ll see you at home when you finish work.” Oh SNAP.

Jimmy goes back to his apartment to find Seth, Summer, Ryan, Marissa sitting in the dark on his couch. Marissa says that her mom was getting ready to drive her down to San Diego. Jimmy clearly had no idea and Marissa says he wants to live with him and do outpatient therapy. The phone rings and it’s Julie and he tells her that Marissa is there. Marissa overhears and runs away again because It’s what she does best.

Summer, Seth, Marissa, and Ryan eat pizza on the boardwalk and Ryan says he can stay away from her if he’s the reason her mom wants her to go away. Marissa says she just wants her mom to LISTEN to her. URGH. LIFE IS HARD.

Back at the Cohen’s, Kirsten is mad at Sandy for his hot date/drinks with Rachel. He says nothing is on, and Sandy makes a point that she spent time painting at Jimmy’s house and he didn’t give her shit for it. STILL HASN’T TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT KISS. They say they trust each other. Uh huh. Sure.

Ryan calls Sandy and they come up with a plan. They bring Julie over to their house for a weird communication intervention with her and Ryan. Ryan tries to relate to Julie with their similar upbringing, which she does not appreciate.

Ryan: “Look you’re from Riverside right? That’s not too far from where I grew up.”

Julie looks like he just slapped her in the face.

He says that Marissa doesn’t want to go to San Diego and she definitely doesn’t want to live with her Mom. Marissa shows up dramatically behind her and asks her to just say yes. Marissa promises to see a therapist if she lets her stay in town with her dad. Julie says, “This isn’t over.” So nothing is solved. Marissa kisses Ryan on the cheek. His reward for her drama getting in the way of his future at Harbor school.

While all this goes on Seth and Summer sit by the pool and he asks if she will ignore him when they get back to school. She doesn’t really answer, but it’s obvious she’s considering not ignoring him. When Julie storms out Summer takes Marissa home to Jimmy’s and Seth is left alone with his Mom.

Kirsten: “Now let’s talk about that surprise little trip to Tijuana.”

Seth: “It’s pronounced Tia-whuana, that’s how, you’re so white mom.”

Sandy tells Ryan to go explain himself to Dr. Kim, he might not have lost out on Harbor school just yet.

Sandy, Seth, and Ryan head off to make a plea to Dr. Kim for Ryan to retake the test. Sandy tries to bond with Seth over Summer, saying they looked chummy yesterday and Seth clearly doesn’t want to talk to his dad about it.

Ryan comes out of Dr. Kim’s office having retook the test and passed. Dr. Kim says welcome to The Harbor School and she’ll be watching him. Cool. Boring filler episode.

Best Song of the Episode:

No real great songs this episode. Here is the list if you don’t believe me:

  • “Keep It Together” by Guster
  • “Let the Bad Times Roll” by Paul Westerberg
  • “Le Femme D’argent” by Air

Best Quote:

I mean seriously, Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows are insane.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Dr. Kim is an Asian American woman if you couldn’t tell from her last name. She speaks and is smart.

Dr. Burke who evaluates Marissa is an African American woman and a Doctor.

So two women of color with speaking roles this episode.

That’s TWO people, our highest number yet.

Weird 2003 thing:

Marissa’s flip camera phone makes multiple appearances this episode as she tries to make secret phone calls from her hospital bed. I don’t know anyone who didn’t want one of those at the time.

Best Fashion Statement:

Whatever the hell Julie is wearing here as the mother of a daughter who just tried to kill herself. Also those chunky blonde highlights that were in style for some reason.

CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 11: The Devils and The Holy Mountain 

CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 11

‘The Devils and The Holy Mountain’ 

Welcome to the 11th episode of CinemAbysmal: The Podcast, where the three writers of cinemabysmal.com talk about what society would consider some of the worst of the worst media out there. We are joined by our good friend Ian, as we talk about psychedelic horror films of the 1970s: The Devils & The Holy Mountain. Check it out on all your favorite apps below! As always, please SHARE, RATE, AND SUBSCRIBE!

iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cinemabysmal/id1153464020?mt=2

Google Play Music –https://play.google.com/music/m/Irjld24rxpsi22hdnugilmxh57u?t=CinemAbysmal

SoundCloud – https://soundcloud.com/cinemabysmal/the-devils-the-holy-mountain

Stitcher – https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=128435&refid=asa

Spreaker – http://www.spreaker.com/show/cinemabysmals-show

You can also find us on BeyondPod! Just search for CinemAbysmal.

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven: S01:E07 – The Escape

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven – Season One: Episode Seven – The Escape

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Recap:

Ya’ll ready for a dramatic AF episode? Seth and Ryan are discussing alibis which isn’t a good sign. Seth says he goes to San Diego Comic-Con every year so it’s the perfect cover up, his parents will never guess where they are really going. Where is that? TO TJ OF COURSE! As The OC kids call it anyway…in plain people speak they mean Tijuana, Mexico. One last hurrah before school starts in the fall. Apparently it’s a tradition for the cool kids and now that Seth has made out with Summer he is dying to go as well.

Ryan doesn’t feel comfortable lying to Seth’s parents and he also doesn’t want to run into Marissa, so he’s not really into the idea. Sandy walks into the kitchen all dressed up for his an annual job interview. It’s with a private law firm and he always gets a great meal out of it which is why he goes, but he turns them down each time because he loves his work as a public defender. Never say never.

Sandy: “How long until you two are leaving on your trip?”

Seth: “I don’t know Ryan, how soon?”

Ryan: “Tomorrow.”

Seth: “Don’t you mean…mañana?”

It’s like Seth is trying to get caught going to Mexico.

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At Marissa’s house, Marissa and Summer talk about plans for Tijuana. Summer wants the deets on Marissa and Luke’s hook up. Summer says she should just have sex with him again because it’s way better the second time. Because Summer obviously has lots of experience with sex….or so she says.

Jimmy is on the phone trying to get an apartment ready for him to move into. He is clearly distressed and has not told his kids that he and Julie are getting a divorce. He goes over to Kirsten’s to ask if she knows anyone who can get him a place to live. She says she’ll call her realtor.

Later, Marissa and Luke are making out and he says he can’t wait to go to Tijuana because it’s so romantic. Marissa says it’s gross there. She’s not wrong. Why are they all going to Tijuana again? I guess because they can drink legally there? Marissa says she’s not sure about TJ (AKA Tijuana. God why do they call it that??). She isn’t sure about leaving her Dad alone because she can tell something is wrong. Luke is all mad because she’s backing out of their fuck fest in TJ for her Dad, because Luke’s capacity for empathy is about as tiny as his dick is.

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At Ryan’s work, Seth is talking to Ryan about his kiss with Summer. Luke and Marissa walk in and Luke grabs a table so Marissa and Ryan can hey at each other. Ryan asks her how she is and she says last time she saw him he had his hands full of a 24 year old’s ass. Why do you care Marissa? You’re with Luke now, remember? She goes to sit with Luke, Summer, and Holly. She and Holly awkwardly say hi. Things are still not quite right since her dad beat up her dad. Or whatever. Also that time Holly secretly made out with Luke a lot while they were still kind of dating. Marissa tells the gang that she’s baking out of going to TJ.

From the bar, Seth is eavesdropping on the group. Summer doesn’t have a ride without Marissa and she is totally bummed. Meanwhile, behind a fish tank, Holly tries to get Luke to cheat on Marissa with her in TJ. Ryan gives them the ‘eye’ and Luke pretends he was just checking out the clown fish. Seth gets up to invite Summer to drive with him and Ryan to TJ. She gives him a ‘who the hell are you, I don’t remember making out with you’ look. The next day Summer arrives in front of the Cohens with a million bags, ready to hit the road with Ryan and Seth. Sandy comes out to introduce himself saying he didn’t know she was into comic con.

Summer: “Comic books? Ew!”

Seth: “She goes for the Anime.”

Summer goes to say goodbye to Marissa, and when Jimmy asks why she’s still there she says she wanted to spend time with him. Jimmy makes up an excuse that he made plans so he can’t hang out and suddenly Marissa is going to TJ with Summer, Seth, and Ryan.

Kirsten helps Jimmy paint his apartment. Kirsten is very sympathetic to Jimmy’s situation. She presses him to call Marissa because if she comes home and he’s not there, she’s going to be really upset.

Summer and Seth are fighting over music, directions, and when they’ll arrive. Just about everything. They’re practically already married at this point.

Summer: “Somebody drives like an old woman.”

Seth: “Who talks like that?”

In the back seat, Marissa is being rude to Ryan. The AC in the car is broken so Summer complains about her hair.

Summer: “You’re jewish?”

Seth: “Yes it’s why I feel so comfortable in this desert heat.”

Summer takes some time to continue her complaining, but this time about the music and Seth tells her to not insult Death Cab.

Summer has a point.

Seth decides he’s going to pull over and drop Summer off and he pulls haphazardly into a ditch. The gang has to stay in a hotel room overnight until the axle in the car is fixed.

Outside the disgusting hotel where they’ve had to all stop for the night, Ryan is at the vending machines with Marissa who has not stopped being a bitch to him. He asks if she’s ever going to stop being mad at him, and she says she’s not mad at him. Yeah, okay Marissa. He tells her she could have knocked first before she barged into the pool house catching him and Gabriella in the act.

Oh sizzle that sexual tension. Sizzle. Summer comes out in her pajamas which look like a victoria secret’s ad. She tells Seth to get off the bed because she isn’t sleeping on the couch. Seth refuses and she gets in next to him telling him if he makes a move she’ll rip out his jugular.

Marissa gets a phone call from her Dad telling her about the divorce. Ryan listens through the slightly open hotel door. Ryan and Marissa go to sleep on opposite sides of the fold out couch but when they wake up in the morning his arms are wrapped around her.

He asks if she wants to go home, but she thinks they should go anyway. Summer and Seth are at a diner having breakfast and are being mirrors of each other while reading the newspaper and eating. He says that she enjoys his company. She denies it.

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Seth: “May I remind you of a time I like to call, ‘The time you kissed me by the pool at my Grandfather’s birthday party.”

Seth: “Face it our chemistry is undeniable.”

Summer: “You know what else is undeniable?

That relationship is off to a good start.

The gang make it to TJ and Summer needs to stop at the pharmacy so she can get some painkillers for her step mom who has taken all the painkillers available in Orange County. Hang tight on the pain pills, we will see them again soon.

At Sandy’s interview he sees Rachel, a hot lawyer who used to work with him at the DA’s office. I guess she works for this company he’s interviewing with now. They start insta-flirting and it’s easy to sense a future marital problem! The company is impressed with how he helped out Jimmy Cooper, and they’re hoping he might be able to come off his high horse and work for them now that he’s helped a rich person.

Sandy comes back from grocery shopping and Kirsten is checking mail in the kitchen. He see’s a new surfboard with a bow on it and finds out it’s from Rachel at the law firm. He confesses to Kirsten that he is actually considering taking the job because he wants to contribute to the household. Kirsten says they have more than enough money. Sandy verbally backslaps Kirsten saying the only thing that keeps her from feeling like Julie Cooper is him because she works and makes more money than him.

The next day Sandy has a follow up interview with hot Rachel. They have lunch and the partners at the firm have sent her to snag Sandy for the job. Kirsten is over at Jimmy’s again screwing in lightbulbs. Jimmy brings up their past and tries to kiss Kirsten. She does not respond and leaves immediately. Sandy comes home that night and says that he’s going to take the job. She neglects to tell him about the Jimmy thing, which will surely backfire later.

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At Boom Boom, the hot happening club where all the kids get drunk, Marissa and Summer arrive with Ryan and Seth. Marissa tries to find Luke. Luke is pretty hammered and Holly is pretty grossly flirting with him. They dance and basically fuck each other with their clothes on. Everyone starts taking shots, and just when everyone is starting to feel a bit drunk, Marissa spots Luke and Holly basically banging. She freaks out at Luke as he tries to apologize. Luke says she didn’t think she was coming.

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Summer calls Holly a bitch, who announces to everyone that Luke hooks up with freshman, college girls, and basically everyone so they can’t only be mad at her. Summer pushes Holly saying, “Marissa’s parents are getting a divorce you stupid slut!” Seth tells Holly to walk away because Summer suffers from rage blackouts. Ryan tells Luke he doesn’t deserve Marissa and punches Luke in the face. Marissa takes off into the night. You’ll notice she does this a lot. WOW was that enough drama for you? Hang tight! It gets better.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer go looking for Marissa who has gone back to the hotel. Summer finds her and Marissa says she has no one….Luke’s gone, Julie is gone, her Dad is gone. Um, Summer is sitting right next to you, you bitch.

Summer insists they go home and she goes to the bathroom to start packing up their stuff. Marissa sees the pain pills that Summer bought earlier and grabs them, taking off. Summer calls Seth to let them know she found Marissa. She calls out to Marissa who doesn’t respond and Summer realizes that she’s gone and has taken the pills with her. Ryan and Seth show up and it’s another man hunt for Marissa.

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Marissa heads to a very divey bar away from all the tourists, downing a handful of pills with tequila. She gets really sweaty and delirious at the bar. She walks out and finds a dirty alley to go die in. Good.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer almost give up looking for her when Ryan passes the alley in question and sees her lying in it. He picks her up in an iconic end scene. Is she dead? Will she pull through! Tune in next week to find out!

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Best Song of the Episode:

“A Movie Script ending” by Death Cab for Cutie

Have to mention the first appearance of Death Cab in the show because they will just keep popping up in some fairly iconic scenes throughout the series.

Best Quote:

Seth: “We also have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which lulls my parents into a false sense of trust.”

Ryan: “And you want to throw that all away for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots?”

*Long pause*
Seth: “I’m sorry I thought that was a rhetorical question. Yes Ryan. Yes I do.”

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

You’d think since they were in fucking MEXICO this time at least one person would say ‘hola’ but nope. All white people speaking this time around. Classic OC.

Weird 2003 thing:

People thinking Comic-Con is for nerds only. Once Marvel starts making blockbusters in a few years, Comic-Con will be something all the popular kids will want to go to. Just wait 2003 people. Just you wait.

Best Fashion Statement:

Summer’s Tijuana outfit. Nice late 90’s, early 00’s head bandana.

CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 10: All the Harry Potter Movies

CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 10

‘All the Harry Potter Movies’ 

Episode 10 is here! This week, we go in depth with all the Harry Potter films, which Holly loves way more than her skeptical contributors! Check it out on all your favorite apps below! As always, please SHARE, RATE, AND SUBSCRIBE!

iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cinemabysmal/id1153464020?mt=2

Google Play Music –https://play.google.com/music/m/Irjld24rxpsi22hdnugilmxh57u?t=CinemAbysmal

SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/cinemabysmal/10-all-the-harry-potter-movies

Stitcher – https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=128435&refid=asa

Spreaker – http://www.spreaker.com/show/cinemabysmals-show

You can also find us on BeyondPod! Just search for CinemAbysmal.

The Void

voidThe Void (2016) – Horror 

Directed by: Steven Kostanski and Jeremy Gillespie

Starring: Aaron Poole and Kenneth Welsh

How I Watched: Amazon Instant Video

Review by Eric Scot Lemons

Everyone has their ideal movie in their head. The one they always wished they could make or at least see. Characters that speak on themes that are important to you. The addition of plot twists and full frontal male nudity. Everyone has something they want their favorite movie to be. I want to see an 80;s style cosmic horror film that feels equal part Lovecraft and Cronenberg. I want practical effects and an ending that feels completely batshittingly disconnected from the first act. And folks, I have seemingly found this film. Or so I thought.

The Void is a film that was produced in 2016 and feels very much like a full-length film cousin of Stranger Things. It doesn’t initially try anything too daring, starting with a small town sheriff’s deputy finding a man who has run away from some seemingly bad men. He brings this man to the nearest hospital, which unfortunately is under reconstruction after a recent fire and thus, suffers from a limited staff. And the deputy’s ex-wife works there also, which is the kind of coincidence that happens in films all the fucking time to give emotional depth, but tends to just break down fourth walls.

But forgiving that, shit goes full fucking insanity pretty fast when a whole host of white cloaked figures descend and surround the building, killing anyone who wishes to enter or exit. Their perfectly starched and ironed cloaks look very KKK outside of the black triangle over the face, presumably so they can see. Also, one of the nurses has killed one of the patients and therefore has also decided to cut her own face from her skull. So that’s cool. She is killed, but pretty immediately comes back as a giant bloody tentacle monster which has to be re-killed. It is pretty fucking sweet to watch. And this all happens in the first act. Are you pumped, cause I am fucking pumped.

Then the second act hits and shit slows way the fuck down. It becomes the same dynamic that plays out in every single location horror film. Mistrust, survival runs, and hashing out personal issues that really don’t matter but again, add depth. I really don’t want to ruin the rest of the film for you, because the third act is a masterclass on mind-blowing and face shredding.

So this is the film I wanted to see. It kinda feels like one of those wishes where you wish for something, but some asscracked genie or monkey paw kills everyone on Earth because you asked to be the richest man alive. Turns out, I like a lot of things in films besides which other artists it stole from. Like good acting. The acting in this film was fairly disgusting in many scenes. Also, casting. This is some backwoods community and half the characters look like patrons of some french named coffee bar in Williamsburg. I know actors tend to look like actors, but come on. Does the sheriff’s deputy really need an undercut and skinny jeans? Dialogue was also just kinda boring. We are talking about entering a new plane of existence and reanimating the dead and monsters and shit, and I am just fucking yawning. You have to try so hard to make dialogue with that subject matter boring.

Overall, the film’s strengths can really carry the film. And I am definitely buying it on Blu-Ray or a future as-yet-named format and recommending everyone with the same tastes as me go out and see it. All the weaknesses do is frustrate you with how great it could have been. I love the blood and gore and tentacle porn, but when the characters’ emotions don’t match the tension of the scene, it pulls you out of all that horrible shit. I like that horrible shit. I want to sleep in it. Don’t do that.

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 6: S01:E06 – The Girlfriend

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Six – Season One: Episode Six – The Girlfriend

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

Recap:

We open on some witty banter from the Cohen’s who have just returned from grocery shopping. They are preparing for a visit from Kirsten’s Dad, Caleb, and his new girlfriend. It’s very clear that Sandy is not looking forward to this as he clearly has animosity toward his father-in-law. Ryan is also not looking forward to it, considering he burned down Caleb’s house.

Caleb suddenly enters and tells Sandy ‘shalom,’ to which Sandy can hardly fucking believe the nerve of this guy. Gabrielle, Caleb’s new girlfriend, is out back for a swim and much to Seth and Ryan’s extreme delight, she is basically a 24 year old supermodel.

Caleb makes some digs at Seth still not being a football player, and he gives Ryan shit for burning down one of his houses. Gabrielle flirts mercilessly with Ryan and Seth in the pool, while they discuss Caleb’s birthday party set two days from now. Gabrielle convinces the boys to invite Summer and Marissa. Ryan is unsure because Marissa may be back with Luke and Seth is unsure because he still isn’t sure Summer knows his name.

Luke drops by Marissa’s house after getting his stitches out of his gunshot wound. Marissa clearly isn’t that excited to see him. Luke knows how lucky he is to have a second chance with his life, and since Marissa was there for him in the hospital, he wants to be there for her with her whole ‘soon to be poor’ thing. Luke gives her a stuffed animal and tells her they’ll take it slow. Super romantic. *eye roll*

Sandy and Kirsten talk to Caleb about his birthday party that Kirsten has been planning. Caleb doesn’t sound that into it, but Sandy insists that he has to go because Kirsten has been working hard on it all month on top of doing all the actual fucking work for his company. Caleb brings up her adoption of Ryan, annoyed she didn’t consult him. As punishment, he says he’s going to scale back her responsibilities at work so she can spend some time with her new son. He’s clearly not passive aggressive at all.

Julie comes by Jimmy’s office to rub it in his face that she had to return China, Caitlin’s horse. Julie says she wants to get a divorce. If she can’t give his daughter a pony then she doesn’t want him at all!

Ryan walks over to Marissa’s and she answers the door so they can breathe/hey at each other. He wants to invite her to the party tonight but Luke is there and suddenly is SUPER kind to Ryan for kind of maybe sort of saving his life, and calling Marissa after it happened to visit him in the hospital. THANKS FOR GETTING US BACK TOGETHER RYAN!

Gabrielle stops by Ryan’s work for a drink, because apparently he still has that job. They flirt and she says he must think it’s weird that she’s with an older guy. Ryan replies with, “I live in a pool house.” Great dialogue. Marissa stops by his work too, to tell him Luke wants to get back together with her. They ‘hey’ and she tells him she doesn’t know what to do or who she wants to be with. Ryan tells her to let him know when she’s made up her mind and Marissa gets all sad. Just make your own personal decision bitch.

Since Marissa can’t make a decision for herself, the next day she invites Summer to lunch to talk it over. Summer says she’s better off with Luke because Ryan comes from a land of knife fights and sex on the hood of cars. Marissa says that’s The Fast and the Furious, not Chino. Well, fuck it might as well be Chino with the way you assholes are always talking about it. Seth and Ryan skateboard/bike by and they stop to ‘hey’ some more at the girls. Summer lets Marissa and Ryan have alone time while asking Seth to accompany her to the salsa bar after he awkwardly introduces himself to her for the millionth time.

Summer gets some picante on her pinky which she doesn’t like, so she asks Seth to lick it off. Summer asks Seth to take her to Caleb’s party, and although he’s unsure why she wants to go with him, he agrees to take her. Ryan apologizes for telling Marissa that she has to make up her own mind and invites her to Caleb’s party too, but Marissa she says she’s already going…with Luke.

Summer and Marissa talk about the party and how Summer is excited to have Seth introduce her to hot, rich, 20-something bankers. So now we understand why she wanted Seth to invite her.

At dinner that night, Caleb says that Seth has a quick wit and asks why he isn’t better at skirt chasing. Your misogyny is showing Caleb, christ. Seth brags that Summer asked him to his party to which Sandy is clearly impressed, because as he says, “Summer is hot.” Seth tells him to please stop. Gabrielle and Ryan eye fuck each other over the table, Seth notices, and Caleb wonders why there isn’t more wine.

Sandy daydreams to Kirsten about her quitting her job, wanting to buy back their old run down house in Berkley. Caleb overhears them talking about it in the kitchen and asks what’s going on. Sandy, without any go ahead from Kirsten, tells him they’re thinking about moving.  Sandy and Caleb fight because of course, and Caleb says he wants Kirsten’s resignation on his desk in the morning. Nice Sandy.

Seth goes to get Gabrielle a good video game to play, leaving Ryan and Gabrielle alone in the pool house. The second he leaves, she admits to Ryan that Caleb bores her. She runs her hand up Ryan’s leg and they start making out. Caleb yells out that they’re leaving and Ryan is left stunned.

The next morning of the party, Ryan and Seth are in the pool together and Seth admits that he’s noticed some heavy flirting. Ryan point blank admits they hooked up, which in early 2000 speak could mean anything from making out to full on BDSM can’t sit for a week shit. It’s a very vague term.

Is no one going to point out that Ryan is 16 (yes I know he looks 25) and Gabriella is 24 (yes I know she looks 30)? No one is going to point out that that’s some fucked up sexual predator, go to jail for child sex crime shit? No? Okay then.

It’s finally Caleb’s birthday and Kirsten tries desperately to reverse the whole ‘give me your resignation’ thing. Gabrielle finds Ryan and continues the flirting. Luke and Marissa start flirting. Ryan can’t stand it and goes to mope in the pool house. Luke is very nice to Seth, and Seth doesn’t quite understand since he got shot in the arm not the head.

Jimmy and Julie arrive, and Jimmy has a plan to ask Caleb for a job. When that epically fails, Julie uses her skirt chasing wiles to see what Caleb can do for her now that she’s getting a divorced and has nothing. Caleb of course asks her to dinner because why not.

Meanwhile Seth is introducing Summer to a lot of rich dudes. Summer later confides to Marissa that she’s meeting lots of wealth management people who, “manage wealth…as a job!” Very insightful Summer. Summer confirms with Marissa that she chose Luke over Ryan. Summer asks if they’ve had sex yet, to which Marissa obviously admits they haven’t. Summer asks what she’s waiting for and Marissa says she doesn’t know. Girl don’t know shit.

Back at the pool house, Ryan is hiding from the party, as well as Marissa and Luke, when Gabrielle walks in and they start ‘hooking up’ aka making out, everyone relax. Marissa stops by to tell Ryan that she chooses him instead of Luke, but she gets all sad and betrayed that he’s ‘hooking up’ with someone else. They aren’t even dating! What is he supposed to do, just sit there moping while Marissa takes a decade to figure out what she wants!? Marissa goes back through the party and finds Luke, saying she’s ready to hook up. Like actually hook up, as in have sex. If Ryan’s doing it why don’t they? She’s dumb.

Seth fights with Summer, saying he can’t stand introducing her to one more person who just stands there and stares at her boobs. Seth says that none of those guys know her, but he does. Cue adorable fucking moment. Seth remembers that Summer wrote a poem in sixth grade about how she wanted to be a mermaid, and is so overcome with emotion as he recites it to her that she kisses him.

Sandy tells Caleb that Kirsten has no intention of quitting or moving. Sandy says that he needs to let her keep doing what she’s doing at the company. She’s smart and competent and she doesn’t need Caleb and he knows that Caleb fears that the most. Caleb walks away to find Kirsten and tells her he will see her at work on Monday.

Marissa and Luke lose their virginities to each other. Or at least that’s what Marissa thinks since Luke clearly has fucked other people behind her back. Ryan decides to go get Marissa back and walks over to her house just as Luke drops her off. She looks shell shocked because I guess the sex was bad and shitty, and maybe don’t lose you virginity as revenge. She tells Ryan he’s too late and she half run/cries back inside. Her life is like super fucking hard, okay?

Best Song of the Episode:

“You’re So Damn Hot” by Ok Go

Before they made quirky videos on YouTube, they made this song!

Best Quote:

Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend.

Sandy: Okay. Oh, no wait we can’t.

Kirsten: Why?

Sandy: I’m still Jewish!

Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend is like.

Sandy: I’m sure she is very well paid. I am on fire!

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Big fat zero.

Weird 2003 thing:

Summer: “Caleb Nichol is like the Donald Trump of the West. Do you know how many hot, rich, banker-brokers are going to be there?”

Ah back when Donald Trump was just a rich d-bag, and his name could casually be thrown around in conversation. Those were innocent times.

Best Fashion Statement:

Gabrielle’s bikini, because nothing says, “It’s nice to meet you my future grandson”, like boobs do.

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CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 9: Twin Peaks & Fire Walk With Me

CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 9

‘Twin Peaks & Fire Walk With Me’

Our ninth episode is here! This week, we talk the first two seasons of Twin Peaks, and the pseudo-prequel, Fire Walk With Me. We also discuss the upcoming third season! Check it out on all your favorite apps below! As always, please SHARE, RATE, AND SUBSCRIBE!

iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cinemabysmal/id1153464020?mt=2

Google Play Music – https://play.google.com/music/m/Irjld24rxpsi22hdnugilmxh57u?t=CinemAbysmal

SoundCloud – https://soundcloud.com/cinemabysmal/09-twin-peaks-fire-walk-with

Stitcher – http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=50084645&refid=asa

Spreaker – http://www.spreaker.com/show/cinemabysmals-show

You can also find us on BeyondPod! Just search for CinemAbysmal.