31 Days of Horror – ‘Creep’



Directed by: Patrick Brice

Starring: Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass

Review by CinemAbysmal

First of all, this was not supposed to be the psychological horror movie that it turned out to be. Apparently, Duplass and Brice showed the early cut to their friends and they suggested they turned the mostly improvised story into a horror movie. There’s word out there that it even has three alternate endings (the one they left in was pretty damn good).

Most people know Mark Duplass as Pete from The League on FX. And while I find him pretty damn hilarious in that show, I think I respect him more for his efforts in producing, writing and directing ‘Mumblecore’ films and TV shows such as The Puffy Chair and HBO’s Togetherness. I’m not exactly the hugest fan of this breed of film, but I appreciate it because it reminds me quite a bit of 1970’s Woody Allen. So when I saw he was in a pseudo-found footage film, I was pretty excited to check it out.

Mark Duplass is definitely the best part of this movie. It’s perfectly titled, as he is truly creepy as Josef, a dude hanging out in a cabin in the woods who hired a videographer for one day on Craigslist. The protagonist, Aaron (Patrick Brice, who actually directed the film as well), is pretty great as the videographer that is suffering through Josef’s pretty damn annoying antics, until you see something else is really wrong with Josef. I’ll stop there, but it’s a pretty excellent portrayal of crazy by Duplass.

Creep isn’t perfect. In fact, at times, it feels a bit insufferable with Mark Duplass doing everything he can to be the most insane, obsessive person on earth. What it is though, is a nice departure from the found-footage films we’ve been force fed over the last couple decades. There’s very natural discussions, which leads to some pretty convincing fear and scares coming from the actors. Don’t expect it to be too funny with Duplass, but just sit back and enjoy what’s about to hit you.

31 Days of Horror – ‘Friday the 13th (1980)’

Friday the 13th (1980)

Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham 

Starring: Betsy Palmer and Kevin Bacon 

Review by Eric Scot Lemons

This is not a review. We all know about Friday the 13th and Jason and the camp counselors of Crystal Lake. No, in fact, this is just a unique observation on one of the seminal slasher films of the 80s, that also stars Kevin Bacon. So this is a discussion of the film, and there will be spoilers, but that is exactly what I would like to talk about.

Everyone remembers the class or internet forum or what the fuck ever where they first learned that Robert Frost’s “The Road Less Traveled” was not in fact a statement on going against the grain and forging one’s own path in life. And if this is new information to you, sorry to break it to you. But TRLT depicts two roads in the woods that were exactly the same, and he just chooses one of them. It is about rewriting history, or how none of us are that special. And decisions mean fucking nothing in the end. Or whatever, read it how you like. The point being, many folks believe it to be about one thing, when it is actually about another.

I watched Friday the 13th with my wife and she was like, “This is a Jason movie, right” and I realized, that even though the villain in this is actually Jason’s mother and he doesn’t even appear except for the end in a nightmare as a gargly little Deliverance banjo playing fuck, Friday the 13th is considered Jason movie. So when one realizes that their expectation of a hockey mask wearing ubermensch with a machete as a killer turns out to be a older lady grieving (albeit horribly) the death of her son, that is a sort of twist. And this isn’t a twist created by the film, but by the mythology of the film and subsequent series. Everyone knows the Jason character, but much fewer people have actually seen the first film to realize that his mother is the sole villain.

I don’t know what to say about this. There is probably some super philosophical argument for zeitgeists and their effects on our reality, but I don’t know anything about that. Fun fact: The hockey mask doesn’t even show up until the 3rd movie. Imagine that. The piece of visual information that allows us to most efficiently recognize the iconic character, and it doesn’t even show up until the third installment. That would be like Darth Vader not getting his mask until Empire Strikes Back.

So watch the film or don’t. It’s pretty good. Tom Savini did the effects. He is a boss.

I also tried to think of other films that are as notorious, yet the general public get a major element of it wrong. The only other one I can think of is how a lot of people don’t realize Rocky lost in the first film. If you can think of others, put em into the comments. I am curious now. 

31 Days of Horror – ‘The Invitation’


The Invitation

Directed by: Karyn Kusama

Starring: Logan Marshall-Green and John Carroll Lynch

Review by CinemAbysmal

First of all, this is not really a horror movie. Well, I suppose you could call it one, but let’s be safe here and call it a psychological thriller. The Invitation (if you invite it to…rimshot, please) will take hold of your brain like a pitbull to a rubber toy and make you second guess yourself for a good hour and a half. It burns slow, but damn it pays off.

The director of the film, Karyn Kusama, is probably most well-known for her other films, like Aeon Flux and Jennifer’s Body. When I saw that she was the filmmaker, I was a bit hesitant on even watching this to be honest. I’ve heard Aeon Flux is just god awful. I actually liked Jennifer’s Body quite a bit, but it wasn’t really enough to get me jacked for this one. I checked out the trailer, and couldn’t really tell what was going on but was intrigued enough. And honestly, I’m really glad I did.

This is not really a horror movie because not enough happens in it to make it horrific. Most of the film, the characters are talking in living rooms or dining rooms inside of a really nice Hollywood Hills home. Don’t let this scare you away, though. The acting is pretty terrific, as lead Logan Marshall-Green is confusing and at times insufferable, complementing the serpentining storyline perfectly. John Carroll Lynch (that weird bald guy that always plays that really weird bald guy in movies) is amazing, but I’m not going to tell you anything about his character because he’s that good.

I hope the words I’ve chosen for this review have not pushed you away from watching this film. I know that “psychological thriller” tends to be a bit overused when describing movies, but this honestly is one of those occasions where this term works perfectly. It’s vicious, confounding and has one of the better payoffs that I’ve seen in movies like this. Check out The Invitation on Netflix now!

31 Days of Horror – ‘Deathgasm’



Directed by: Jason Lei Howden

Starring: Milo Cawthorne and James Blake

Review by CinemAbysmal

I love metal. I’m not a genre asshole, either. If it wails, I’m into it, so when I first saw the trailer for this New Zealand Horror-Comedy, I was understandably excited. And for the most part, Deathgasm did not let down. It’s hilarious at times, joyously bloody and the music choices are excellent.

First, let’s talk about what’s wrong with this movie. A lot of us have seen Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny, which is kind of a shit movie in the classic sense, but I find it to be a cult classic and one that I’ve enjoyed a lot more as time has gone by. So why am I bringing that movie up? Well, Deathgasm unfortunately has just about the same story. I won’t spoil it for you, but I think you’ll get the same feeling watching it.

Infringement aside, this film is still really fun. As I mentioned earlier, the gore is pretty insane. It’s done in a pretty fun way though, ala Dead Alive and Evil Dead 2. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve seen the much blood in a movie. They literally pour it on at times. The demons that are summoned look excellent as well. When this movie gets crazy, it really goes for it, and I found myself laughing giddily throughout a good amount of it.

Those familiar with metal (mostly Death/Black) will really dig a lot of the music featured in the film. We’ve got Ihsahn, Emperor, Axeslasher, Bulletbelt, Lair of the Minotaur, Pathology and others. The list goes on. They obviously knew their metal when making this and they don’t shy away from the double bass and screaming in a number of the scenes. I was a little annoyed with how much of an elitist the main character was, but the movie still did a good job throwing up its horns.

This movie isn’t perfect. But it’s fun, bloody and will bring a smile to any metalhead’s face. Check Deathgasm out on Netflix today!


31 Days of Horror – ‘Ti West Triple Feature’


The House of the Devil, The Innkeepers, The Sacrament

Directed by: Ti West

Review by CinemAbysmal

I originally watched The House of the Devil about 5 or 6 years ago. The first time, I wasn’t all that impressed, probably because I was looking for scares in the classic sense. While I’m not saying that this movie is lacking in scares, it is definitely a slow-burning test on your psyche. The film’s events are set during a lunar eclipse in 1983. I think the coolest part about the movie though, is that it’s filmed like it’s 1983. Heavy grain is visibly present, the score is incredibly cheesy (yet effective) and lead actress Jocelin Donahue is so good. This movie is pretty slow on the buildup, but it absolutely pays off. One more thing that makes this movie imperative: Tom Fucking Noonan. Check out this one on Hulu Plus now.

The Innkeepers is probably my favorite of the three we’re featuring here. It’s more of the classic ghost movie, featuring a haunted hotel and some creepy yarns about its troubled history. West has picked some excellent female leads and Sara Paxton is one of them. She plays the role of the curious, wannabe ghost hunter to perfection. As with The House of the Devil, this movie burns slowly, but the payoff is excellent. It is also filmed excellently, with some tense hallway shots. Jeff Grace’s score is great as well. Check out The Innkeepers on Hulu Plus.

The Sacrament kind of took me by surprise. I, like a lot of people, have grown a bit tired of the found-footage concept. While West spins it a bit different, featuring a Vice News crew filming a Jim Jones-esque cult, it still is a found footage movie. This one is good enough, though. The acting is pretty excellent and I think Gene Jones steals the show as the Jim Jones inspired character, ‘Father.’ While this movie definitely provides a different feeling than the other two, it still kept my interest and featured West’s signature ‘slow-burn’ that builds to a wildfire of an ending. Check it out on Netflix.

31 Days of Horror – ‘Eight Legged Freaks’


Eight Legged Freaks

Directed by: Ellory Elkayem

Starring: David Arquette and Scarlett Johansson

Review by Eric Scot Lemons

I love a good B-horror film. One that rides the line of camp and comes out with something both exciting and fun. It is a difficult genre though, for every Tremors you get four Sharknados. You expect the CGI to be bad, which in Eight Legged Freaks, it is. But not too bad for a film out of 2002. You got David Arquette, a sort of random crown prince of cult-ish horror after the Scream flicks and having written and directed The Tripper, a sort of ode to 80s slasher flicks that has Ronald Reagan like figure as the slasher. But in this movie, like many, he sucks. His line delivery felt like it came after a long trailer weed nap.

That being said, I really dug this movie. It was corny, but pretty funny in parts. In many ways, it felt like one of my favorite films, Slither, albeit only in tone and not in plot or quality. It really is an amalgamation of many different cool horror flicks. It takes place partially in a mall like Dawn of the Dead, and partially in a mine like My Bloody Valentine. The way they picked off their prey by sneaking into their homes felt like Arachnophobia, but on a comically larger scale. My one major complaint in the film that just got too annoying was they gave the spiders voices that sounded half the time like a mogwai and half the time like a minion. I don’t need a high-pitched squirrel voice from a spider to know it hates being shot.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who wants to watch some fun bullshit in which they know what will happen and they don’t have to think about it, but it is cool to see spiders take out tanker trucks and pile into malls and get shot. It isn’t perfect or really great in any feasible way, but you’ll enjoy it, especially with the help of alcoholic beverages or inhaled cannabis smoke

31 Days of Horror – ‘Scanners’



Directed by: David Cronenberg

Starring: Stephen Lack and Michael Ironside

Review by CinemAbysmal

OK, so maybe this is not technically a horror movie in the classic sense. However, it is a David Cronenberg film so it’s unsettling enough at every turn that it feels like a horror movie. There are certainly parts that are horrifying; the infamous head explosion, for instance. Really though, this is just an intense movie all around. There isn’t a whole lot of dialogue, but Cronenberg lets the film breathe, not really punching everything up until the very end.

This is my first time seeing this movie. I know a lot of people reading this probably already have, but I just never got around to it. I really enjoy a lot of Cronenberg films, (ExistenzA History of ViolenceNaked Lunch, the list goes on and on), so I’m not sure why it took so long to watch it. After finishing, I really wish I watched it sooner. The effects (for 1981) are absolutely amazing and disgusting, the pacing is strange but in a way, beautiful and god dammit, Howard Shore’s score is haunting and perfect for the movie.

One complaint I must lodge, is the main character, Cameron’s (Stephen Lack) acting. It’s so unbearable to hear him speak, that you can’t help but feel disconnected from the story for a good portion of the film. His lines are hamfisted and even his most general of reactions are not even convincingly human. That’s alright though, because the fantastically vicious Michael Ironside is there to balance out the awfulness with his creepy villain, Darryl Revok. Ironside is incredible in this and really carries the movie all the way to the end.

Cronenberg is a weird dude. Maybe it’s because he’s deeply Canadian, but that’s alright with me. I dig the hell out of the Canadians. From The Kids in the Hall to Denis Villenueve to Ivan Reitman, some of my favorite works come out of that wonderfully beautiful country. And after watching Scanners, I’ll just have to add another one to that ever-growing list.