Month: September 2017

CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 17: Howard the Duck and Twin Peaks: The Return

Welcome to the 17th episode of CinemAbysmal: The Podcast, where the three writers of cinemabysmal.com talk about what society would consider some of the worst of the worst media out there. This week, we discuss the terrible Marvel mishap, Howard the Duck, and the newest season of Twin Peaks! Check it out on all your favorite apps below! As always, please SHARE, RATE, AND SUBSCRIBE!

iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cinemabysmal/id1153464020?mt=2

Google Play Music – https://play.google.com/music/m/Irjld24rxpsi22hdnugilmxh57u?t=CinemAbysmal

Stitcher – https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=128435&refid=asa

Spreaker – http://www.spreaker.com/show/cinemabysmals-show

You can also find us on BeyondPod! Just search for CinemAbysmal.

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THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME NINETEEN: S01: E19: THE HEARTBREAK

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME NINETEEN: S01: E19: THE HEARTBREAK

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Nineteen – Season One: Episode Nineteen: The Heartbreak

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Recap:

Now that Oliver is gone (so sad), as is Anna (who cares), we have to address the Ryan/Marissa and the Seth/Summer relationship. The episode opens with another Cohen kitchen scene. It’s the day before Valentine’s day and Kirsten is excited. Ryan comes in looking glum and Kirsten tries to cheer him up with the idea of the Newport Group’s SINGLES GALA DANCE! Some stupid fucking charity that helps support Newport Memorial’s Heart Department. Why Ryan would be excited about this I have no idea.

At school, Marissa goes to hug/kiss Ryan and he sort of dodges the blow. YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM MARISSA. Marissa tells Ryan she wants everything to go back to the way it was and Ryan tells her he’s going to the single’s dance for V-day and Marissa says she’ll go too, but not together…because they aren’t together. Seth finds Summer to tell her that Anna is in Pittsburgh for the weekend and also they broke up. Summer is reasonably annoyed that Seth has only just asked her NOW what she’s doing for Valentine’s day as if she’s a strange backup option. Seth says he’ll be at the dance and she says she will too but basically don’t hold your breath, although they are super obviously flirting during all of this.

Sandy and Kirsten meet up for lunch and Sandy tells her he’s too busy to show up on time or help at all for the V-day dance.

Kirsten: “I forbid it. With whatever wifely authority I have vested in me on this most holy and romantic of days, no.”

Sandy and her fight some more until he asks her what they are even fighting about. She says she doesn’t know but it’s serious. Oooookay.

Back at Jimmy’s apartment he gets cookies and a note from a secret admirer and probably hopes it’s secretly Kirsten. He and Marissa talk about Ryan, and Jimmy suggests a big romantic gesture on her end because it’s Valentine’s day and that ALWAYS works. Jimmy, have you met Ryan? He would not like that.

Seth stops by Summer’s after school and finds her adorable little My Little Pony she calls Princess Sparkle. I think Captain Oats is about to have a girlfriend, and maybe Seth Cohen too. Seth tells Summer that he’s always chosen her and the only reason he and Anna broke up is because of her. Summer kisses Seth and one thing leads to another and…..awkward.

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Luke shows up at Julie’s house because now that Oliver is gone and so is Caleb, these two need a plot. He makes an excuse to come over and asks if Julie is going to the Valentine’s Day dance. Julie sends him off but is secretly pleased in a weird not okay way because he’s underage.

Marissa stops by Ryan’s with a rose and tells him she loves him and starts super hardcore making out with him and taking off his clothes. Ryan stops her and when she asks if he wants to he says no, with everything that’s happened it seems soon. Marissa says she wishes it all hadn’t happened and that they could go back to normal. Ryan says this is wrong and holy shit even more awkward than Seth/Summer. Marissa leaves in a panic. YOU ARE BROKEN UP MARISSA. YOU DID THIS.

Seth tells Ryan that he had sex with Summer.

Ryan: How was it?

Seth: I had sex.

Seth says it was his first time, and Summer is more experienced (hold that thought) and he wishes he could take some faces and whining noises he made back. Seth said it was really bad, he was nemo and he just wanted to go home. Ryan tells Seth to try it again. Marissa and Summer are at the beach talking about the weird non sex that Marissa had and the weird sex that Summer had.

Sandy and Kirsten are still fighting when Seth comes in and tells Sandy he needs to talk to him about girl stuff. Sandy says he’s come to the master and it’s all Kirsten can do to hold back a choking laugh. Kirsten leaves the room and Sandy and Seth talk about how awkward sex can be the first time, much to Seth’s relief. Sandy says Seth needs to do foreplay.

Jimmy comes over to Kirsten’s with the cookies he got from his secret admirer and she says that Hailey used to make these cookies all the time. Jimmy has got a feeling it’s all from Hailey and he might get lucky. Kirsten says she’s not sure where Hailey is now but one time they thought she was in London but it turned out she was on a friend’s boat in the harbor in town. Jimmy’s got all the ideas now. He goes down to the dock to find her and does. He asks if Hailey wants to be the first customer at his restaurant and asks if she will accompany him there to try some of the dishes. She agrees and they are super weird together.

Ryan is help setting up for the event when he runs into Theresa, his old girlfriend from Chino, who is helping cater the event. Some sparks fly and looks like Marissa’s night is about to get a whole lot worse. Ryan fills Theresa in on his Marissa/Oliver nightmare and she agrees that he should be pissed off. Marissa shows up and see’s Ryan and Theresa talking and they weirdly talk about nothing until Marissa can escape the awkward. Seth takes his foreplay advice from his Dad and goes back to Summer’s house to try it again. It goes badly at first, and ends badly too. Seth is pretty sure that it’s over now.

At the dance, Sandy tells Seth and Ryan to never get married (so things are going really well). Theresa offers Ryan and Seth some rich fancy stuff on a platter and Seth is thrilled to meet her. Marissa and Summer watch from above and Marissa laments about how Ryan and Theresa have been friends forever and how cute and nice and funny she is. She just knows her and Ryan are over at this point.

Julie and Kirsten are upset at how the night is going too. Caleb didn’t show up so Julie could try to win him back, and Kirsten and Sandy are still fighting over…not 100% sure actually.

Seth talks to Summer and tells her that it’s his fault the sex isn’t working. She’s more experienced and he’s not ready for her right now. Marissa tries to start over with Ryan and he tells her he can’t do it. He’s understandably still pissed and can’t forgive that she didn’t trust him. Ryan meets Theresa outside and they chat and they go back to Ryan’s to talk for a bit as Marissa watches them leave.

Sandy sees Marissa crying at a table and gives her some advice. He says that Ryan expects people to give up on him, and she should show him that she won’t. Kirsten overhears and thinks it’s romantic AF and is ready to bone. Fight over. Marissa goes over to Ryan’s and says she’s going to fight for him.

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She asks if Ryan can just forgive her and he says, “How?”. He doesn’t know if they should be together, he says it was too easy for someone to come into their lives and screw their relationship up. Marissa says he has to trust her and he counters with, “Like you trusted me?” God damn he’s got a point. It’s over AF, finally.

Luke shows up at Julie’s and tells her that Caleb is too old to see how lucky he is to have had her. Luke tells her she’s the coolest Mom, and that when he and his friends played the game ‘who’s mom would you like to fuck’ she always won. So romantic. Julie kisses Luke on the front porch with the door open (um….probably not the best idea) and invites him in.

Kirsten and Sandy come home and Kirsten finds that Sandy has prearranged the bedroom into a fuckfest. Kirsten is thrilled.

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Summer shows up at Seth’s and tells him that he was her first. Summer says it should have been special for both of them….and they rushed it. But now that the pressure is off of Seth not feeling like he had to be amazing, he puts on his sex record that he already had locked and ready to go. Summer and Seth dance and presumably do the deed.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Wonderwall” By Ryan Adams but “Hello Sunshine” by Super Furry Animals comes in at a close second every time Seth sees Summer’s boobs.

Best Quote:

“I’m not going to be your sloppy seconds, ass face.” – Summer

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Theresa is back and she’s (supposed to be) Mexican so there’s one!

Weird 2004 thing:

Summer’s sunglasses are so 2000s. This was before it was cool to have sunglasses cover 70% of your face. So tiny!

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Best Fashion Statement:

The pillow Seth uses to ‘cover up’

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CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 16: IT – The Book, The Miniseries, & The New Film

Welcome to the 16th episode of CinemAbysmal: The Podcast, where the three writers of cinemabysmal.com talk about what society would consider some of the worst of the worst media out there. This week, we discuss all things IT! SPOILERS for the new film lie ahead, so if you haven’t seen it, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! Go see it now, then listen to us discuss the book and the two cinematic adaptations! Check it out on all your favorite apps below! As always, please SHARE, RATE, AND SUBSCRIBE!

iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cinemabysmal/id1153464020?mt=2

Google Play Music – https://play.google.com/music/m/Irjld24rxpsi22hdnugilmxh57u?t=CinemAbysmal

Stitcher – https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=128435&refid=asa

Spreaker – http://www.spreaker.com/show/cinemabysmals-show

You can also find us on BeyondPod! Just search for CinemAbysmal.

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME EIGHTEEN: S01: E18 – THE TRUTH

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME SEVENTEEN: S01: E18 – THE TRUTH

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Sixteen – Season One: Episode Eighteen: The Truth

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Recap:

Ryan has been suspended. Sandy comes into the pool house to let Ryan know that Harbor school’s disciplinary committee is deciding on whether to expel him or not. Ryan says he’s not sorry for what he did because Oliver admitted the truth to his face. Sandy says the he can’t ground Ryan and that he’s welcome to leave and go after Oliver right now, but if he wants to be apart of the family he’s not allowed to go anywhere or see anywhere unless Sandy and Kirsten say it’s okay.

At school, Summer wisely tells Marissa that Ryan wouldn’t punch Oliver for no reason. He’s violent, but he’s not stupid. Marissa says that Ryan thinks Oliver is in love with her and Summer is like…well yeah. Marissa gets defensive because she’s insane. Marissa admits she broke up with Ryan.

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Seth admits to Anna that he hasn’t talked to Ryan since he punched Oliver. Seth says he begged Ryan to stay away from him and he didn’t listen so he’s a little miffed. Anna tries to get Seth to let her in more about the whole thing, but he rudely tells her that she doesn’t really know Ryan very well so maybe she should STFU (essentially). Seth, Anna, Summer and Marissa meet up in the hall and without Ryan the entire thing feels pretty weird. Oliver shows up to make it weirder and asks what they are all doing this weekend because he just invites himself into things. His lip is still all fucked up and he walks off with Marissa. Summer, Anna and Seth mention how happy Oliver looks.

Summer: Why shouldn’t he be? He’s got Marissa all to himself now.

Oh good of you all to finally catch on to what’s happening here! At lunch Oliver keeps trying to get Marissa to come snowboarding with him this weekend. She can’t because she’ll be at her Mom’s house all weekend. Luke shows up and Oliver says he has to convince her to go because it’s not healthy for her to spend the weekend right next to Ryan. Luke tells Oliver that that’s up to Marissa not him. Marissa gets a call on her cell and it’s Ryan. She doesn’t answer, and Luke having had enough of this shit, leaves. Marissa gets up to get dessert (yeah right) and Oliver takes her cell phone and listens to Ryan’s voicemail asking Marissa to meet him in the library after school to talk. Oliver deletes the message.

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Sandy and Kirsten have lunch together and Sandy wonders if he made a mistake bring Ryan home. Kirsten disagrees and they both feel secure in their decision. Suddenly men come into the office and start moving furniture. Apparently as the Newport Group’s new design director, Julie has decided to redecorate the entire office. Yikes.

Back in brother and sister land, aka Seth and Anna, Seth keeps blowing Anna off. He doesn’t want to hang out with her after school and he doesn’t want to talk with her about Ryan. Summer asks if she can hang out with them after school and suddenly they’re a weird threesome again. They are about to leave when Ryan shows up at school. Seth begs him to leave since he’s not supposed to be there. Ryan says Oliver is unstable and violent and he’s supposed to meet Marissa after school. He says that Natalie, Oliver’s girlfriend, probably doesn’t exists and Seth disagrees. It’d be INSANE to make up a girlfriend, right? Ryan goes any way and eventually Oliver meets Ryan in the library instead of Marissa. He tells Ryan that Marissa said she’s not coming and to stop calling her or she’s going to file a restraining order. Ryan doesn’t believe him and tells him this isn’t over.

Kirsten’s kitchen at home suddenly becomes her office as Julie’s decorating gets out of control. Julie shows up and asks if Kirsten wants to carpool to work. Seeing no way out of it Kirsten goes to change while Julie sits outside with a newspaper and coffee. Suddenly, Ryan shows up staring at her like a weirdo. She asks him why he isn’t at school.

Ryan: I got suspended.

Julie: Who did you beat up this time? Dr. Kim?

Ryan can’t help himself. He tells Julie all about Oliver and it seems as if she doesn’t believe him.

At work, Kirsten asks her Dad if she can talk about Julie. Caleb admits that Julie is driving him crazy. Caleb asks Kirsten if he can break up with Julie for him. Seriously, he asked that. Kirsten shows up at the office the next day and she is super impressed with the work Julie has done with the office. She tells Julie that her Dad doesn’t want to see her anymore.

At school, Oliver keeps pressuring Marissa to ask to spend the weekend with him instead of her Mom. He guilts her, saying she doesn’t want to hang out with him. Marissa says she would like to blow everything off and hang out with him but she can’t. Oliver is like okay, let’s just blow everything off then. Marissa agrees to ditch therapy and school with Oliver as long as he can bring her back in time for dinner with her Mom. Luke and Seth watch them go from afar and Luke laments on how he doesn’t trust Oliver. Seth asks if Luke has met Natalie and he says no.

Seth: Ryan thinks he made her up.

Luke recalls Oliver telling them Natalie went to Pacific and Luke knows people there so he says he’ll ask them if they know. At home that night, Seth has Anna and Summer over reading comic books. Anna is clearly jealous and starting to realize Seth might not be into her anymore. Luke stops by to see Ryan and tells him Marissa left school with Oliver today and didn’t come back and that he talked to his friends at Pacific and they said there is no Natalie.

Ryan sneaks next door to see Marissa and tells her there is no Natalie. Marissa is pissed off for some reason and is extra mad that Ryan called her Mom to tell her she wasn’t at school so her and Oliver both got in trouble. Marissa takes off and Sandy is super pissed that Ryan went to go see Marissa anyway. Suddenly Marissa is at Oliver’s pethouse and he is thrilled that he now has her all to himself.

The next morning Ryan apologizes to Sandy and tells him he shouldn’t have gone over there last night. Luke shows up at the house and Ryan tells him that he confronted her and she didn’t believe him. Luke says he is going to go make Marissa talk to him. In Oliver suites, he has a whole day planned with Marissa and even offers to take her to Paris too. Okay Marissa WAKE UP! Marissa’s phone rings and it’s Luke telling her there is no Natalie. Marissa asks him to go to her house tell her Mom she’s fine, pick up some clothes and bring them to the penthouse.

Luke shows up at Marissa’s and Julie invites him up as she packs some of Marissa’s things up. She’s been crying since Kirsten broke up with her for Caleb. Luke comforts her and then BOW CHICKAA WOW WOWWW, they almost kiss. Julie breaks away immediately because she’s the adult here and even though Luke looks like he’s 30, he’s only 16.

Marissa goes down to the lobby to see if her bag has been dropped off and notices that the front desk woman is named Natalie. She asks if she knows Oliver and she says she has since he was little, he used to babysit her. Marissa goes back upstairs more than a little freaked out (finally). She says she met Natalie downstairs and says she’s gotta go. Oliver starts hitting himself and Marissa promises she’s not going anywhere. She tells Oliver to go get changed and then they can go. When he leaves the room she calls Ryan immediately instead of I don’t know LEAVING? Ryan grabs the phone and Marissa tells him that Oliver won’t let her leave the hotel. Oliver comes back with a GUN because WHY NOT PSYCHO, and tells Marissa’s to give him the phone and he hangs up on Ryan.

Ryan comes in the kitchen and is ready to go! Sandy tells him to give him the keys. After a long internal struggle he does and Sandy says, “I’ll drive.” YESSSSSS favorite part. In the penthouse Oliver is pointing the gun around and Marissa is freaking out. She says she has to leave sometime and they can still be friends.

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Whoop there it is. Fuckin’ A Marissa. Are you stupid? He literally says, “How can you not know that?” I don’t know Oliver! It’s a mystery to everyone. Ryan and Sandy go to the front desk and find NATALIE and tell her they had an emergency call from the penthouse, but now no one is answering. They go up to the penthouse with Natalie and security and Natalie knocks on the door. Oliver says everything is fine and Sandy says they’ll go. Ryan ain’t taking that shit lightly so he bangs on the door and yells Marissa’s name, which seem to wake her out of her stupor. Oliver is pointing the gun at her telling her to be quiet, but she can’t help herself.

Marissa: Ryan he’s got a gun!

Security comes in right away guns drawn and Oliver has the gun to his own head now. Ryan talks him down enough so security can detain him and Marissa runs into Ryan’s arms apologizing. OH CHRIST GIRLFRIEND YOU DON’T GET TO JUST BEG FOR FORGIVENESS NOW.

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At the Cohen’s, Anna and Seth are playing Jenga when they find out that Marissa is okay. The first thing Seth wants to do is call Summer and Anna loses it.

Anna: I think you’re a great guy, but I’m not going to stand here and pretend that I’m your girlfriend when I’m not.

Seth can’t make decisions until they’re made for him apparently. Anna leaves him and he’s only baffled for about two seconds. Ryan makes it back to the pool house and Seth is laying on the bed. He apologizes for not believing him. Awww.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Love of the Loveless” by Eels

Best Quote:

“If Julie Cooper asks you to do anything you nod your head yes and you do nothing.” – Kirsten

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Not a single one.

Weird 2004 thing:

So many flip phones!

Best Fashion Statement:

Julie’s wearing this white sweater with an obnoxiously loud fur looking thing draped around it. It’s amazingly awful.

Obvious Reasons to NOT trust Oliver Trask:

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  1. He knows who you are even though you have no friends or places in common
  2. He knows your medical history
  3. He lives in a hotel
  4. Anna says her parents know the parents of the guy who’s throwing the party, but she doesn’t know who Oliver is.
  5. He says his girlfriend lives long-distance so you’ll probably never get to meet her. Super convenient.
  6. He gives you ‘come make out with me’ eyes on new years even though he knows you have a boyfriend.
  7. His name isn’t on the list for backstage passes at the front door but he meets you in back to get you in
  8. His girlfriend Natalie never shows up when he says she will (spoiler, she doesn’t exist)
  9. He makes angry phone calls about cocaine then tries to buy some off an undercover cop and gets arrested
  10. He watches you and your friends creepily from outside your boyfriend’s house.
  11. He says his parents and Natalie will be in Palm Springs, then they don’t show up
  12. He tries to run you off the golf course by nearly crashing into you in a golf cart
  13. He breaks a plate and freaks out when you call him on his shit
  14. He fakes a suicide attempt so he can make sure he has your full attention
  15. He shows up as a transfer student at your school with zero warning (because at this point he’s probably stalking you)
  16. He makes sure you and him have the exact same schedule
  17. He has previously slit his wrists in the high school bathroom over a girl and she filed a restraining order
  18. He tricks you into believing all of this is your fault before he coerces you into punching him several times
  19. He listens to your voicemails and deletes them
  20. He offers to take you to Paris and run away with you, making you skip your very important therapy and make everyone around you worried
  21. He lies about his girlfriend Natalie and you find out that Natalie is actually a middle aged woman at the hotel’s front desk who took care of him when he was a kid
  22. When you try to leave he takes a gun out and threatens to kill himself if you leave

Ed Wood Jesus Do? Podcast – Suspiria

Written and directed by Dario Argento, Suspiria tells of young American ballet dancer, Suzy Bannion, as she enrolls in a famed German dance academy, and discovers the deep dark secrets behind the veil. It is absolute essential viewing for all horror fanatics and transcends the limitations of the genre with a gorgeous score and illuminating colors.

The Ed Wood Jesus Do? team run you through all its intricacies, dull plot points, and killer interpretations in this latest episode available on SpreakerGoogle Play Music, and Itunes, as well as all the other places pods are incubating.

 

CinemAbysmal: The Podcast – Episode 15: Earth Girls Are Easy and Mac & Me

Welcome to the 15th episode of CinemAbysmal: The Podcast, where the three writers of cinemabysmal.com talk about what society would consider some of the worst of the worst media out there. Special guest Brandon Michael Barker joins us to discuss 80’s classics Earth Girls Are Easy & Mac and Me! Check it out on all your favorite apps below! As always, please SHARE, RATE, AND SUBSCRIBE!

iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cinemabysmal/id1153464020?mt=2

Google Play Music – https://play.google.com/music/m/Irjld24rxpsi22hdnugilmxh57u?t=CinemAbysmal

Stitcher – https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=128435&refid=asa

Spreaker – http://www.spreaker.com/show/cinemabysmals-show

You can also find us on BeyondPod! Just search for CinemAbysmal.

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME SEVENTEEN: S01: E17 – THE RIVALS

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME SEVENTEEN: S01: E17 – THE RIVALS

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seventeen – Season One: Episode Seventeen – The Rivals

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Recap:

The look on Ryan’s face says it all here and I’ll refer to it again in a moment. The kids are back at school. I say kids because they’re supposed to be 16, even though they look 21 and I say back at school because they are back at school. You know that thing they sometimes go to in between new years parties, fake OD’s, concerts and time away in Palm Springs.

Seth: You did accuse a guy of faking a suicide attempt

Ryan: No, I didn’t I just didn’t believe him.

Seth: Hard to believe such blind compassion upset Marissa.

That’s right Ryan and Marissa are on the outs. Oliver’s ‘suicide’ attempt and Ryan’s ‘yeah right’ about it has finally made Marissa choose between Oliver and Ryan. Of course in a friend vs boyfriend way. Because Oliver is clearly someone who just wants to be friends with Marissa. According to Marissa. Who is insane. Seth suggests Ryan make peace with Oliver and try to be his friend. He tells Marissa that since Oliver is her friend, he will try to be Oliver’s friend. He promises he’ll try to be cool with it and he does a pretty good job for about FIVE seconds until Oliver shows up at school. Guess what? He’s the new transfer student. Cue to the photo at the top here of Ryan’s face. Now you get it. Oh fucking great.

Oliver: Marissa and I have like the exact same schedule now. What are the odds?

Ryan: Crazy.

I’m sorry is Marissa a fucking moron? Don’t answer that, we all know the answer.

Meanwhile, Seth confides to Ryan that he and Anna never fight and they like all the same things. This makes him wonder if he is dating the female version of himself. Seth and Anna decide that they should like/do different things sometime to avoid this. Also they dress alike. I think Summer’s brother/sister comment is really getting to them.

Sandy meets up with Jimmy to talk about their deal to buy The Lighthouse restaurant. Jimmy can’t believe that Sandy remembers their drunk conversation, but he agrees to go with Sandy to meet with some investors. Sandy puts a down payment on the restaurant and Jimmy is hesitant to sign anything, but at the last minute agrees to and The Lighthouse is suddenly back in business.

Julie shows up at Kirsten’s office asking about the interior design job that the Newport Group is hiring for. Julie has zero experience. Kirsten is hesitant but Julie says she’ll do their first house for free and if Kirsten likes it they can talk more about it. Naturally Julie ruins everything and Kirsten swoops in the to save the day so Caleb won’t find out about it. With Kirsten’s help, Caleb loves the place and hires Julie, much to Kirsten’s dismay.

Seth is the funny friend, right? So when Summer shows up at their lunch group hang out time with a ‘funny’ guy (who isn’t funny at all) named Danny, Seth is immediately jealous.

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Summer’s new hilarious ‘boyfriend’ is pissing Seth off and he and Anna come to school dressed the same again. Seth goes on and on about it to Anna, who realizes that he’s actually jealous of Danny’s relationship with Summer. To prove he’s not jealous he invites Danny to hang out with him after school. Danny asks Seth if he could try to be less funny around Summer. Summer apparently always tells Danny how funny Seth is. This brightens Seth’s mood considerably and he suddenly really likes Danny. He tells Danny he needs to be bigger, and funnier. Essentially he’s trying to make Summer so annoyed with Danny she leaves him. Seth gets his wish the next day as Summer tells him that her and Danny broke up. Anna shows up and her and Seth are wearing the same scarf. Seth looks annoyed. Summer clearly loves Seth and Seth clearly loves Summer. COME ON ALREADY.

Oliver finds Ryan at lunch on a couch and makes small talk about school being hard. Oliver says there was an incident at his old school so he left. Oliver asks Ryan to give him a chance so they can start over, but really he wants to know what the incident was that lead to Oliver leaving his old school. Ryan tells Seth he doesn’t trust Oliver. Seth says he can either go break into the file room at school and find out what that incident was or he can just let it go. Ryan chooses to break into school instead and he gets caught looking at Oliver’s file. We get our first non-white person in in like five episodes when Dr. Kim, the principal, is back to discuss Ryan breaking into the school. Ryan said he found out from the file that Oliver slit his wrists in the bathroom at his old school….over a girl who filed a restraining order. He thinks that he could turn violent on Marissa. Dr. Kim says that’s confidential and Oliver has been rehabilitated. Uh-huh. Ryan gets detention for every day until the honor committee reaches a verdict on what do with him.

Ryan sees Oliver give a piece of paper to Marissa, who puts it in her locker. Seth and Ryan meet up in the pool house and Seth asks if Ryan learned his lesson. Ryan has not. He will not let this go. He shows Seth the letter that he’s already taken out of her locker. He says he hasn’t read it, and Seth tells him to put it back. Seth says Ryan is acting scary. Ryan says that Oliver is scary. Ryan says he’ll put the letter back. Seth leaves and Ryan reads the letter. It says that he can’t live without her and Oliver loves her. Seth says if Marissa finds out he took the letter they are finished as a couple.

Ryan almost gets away with everything until Dr. Kim intervenes. She sits Marissa down and says she’s worried about a transfer student that has a close relationship with Marissa and might be unstable. Marissa says she’s aware of Oliver’s issues. Dr. Kim says she’s talking about Ryan. Oh THANKS BITCH. Now we know who to blame when all of this shit finally comes to a head.

Ryan gets out of detention only to find Marissa waiting. Unsurprisingly she is pissed and Ryan says he broke into the school for her protection because he was worried about her (okay I guess that sounds a little crazy). Ryan says Oliver is obsessed with her. Marissa denies it because she’s oblivious. Ryan says he knows for a fact because of the letter in her locker. Marissa says that letter isn’t meant for her. It’s meant for Oliver’s ex girlfriend, Natalie. He wants to get back together with her and he wanted Marissa to read the letter first. Oh if that wasn’t a planted trap from Oliver I don’t know what was. Marissa breaks up with Ryan because now she doesn’t trust him. Good!

The next day Oliver shows up and tells Ryan he heard about about happened. Ryan apologizes to Oliver and says he was wrong about him.

Oliver: Did you think I came here for Marissa? Because I’m in love with her?

Ryan: Yeah I know, I…it was crazy.

Oliver: *shurgs* Here’s the deal Ryan and it’s nothing personal. Marissa and I we just connect.

Oliver goes on a long speech about his true confession to Ryan of being an obsessed stalker psycho.

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Ryan: I’m not going to let this happen.

Oliver: At this point who will believe you? Walk away, you have a chance to make something of yourself. Don’t blow it all over some chick you’re not going to care about in ten years.

Ryan lasts about two more seconds until he punches Oliver three times in the face on school property. He looks insane as he’s held back and screams at Oliver to stay away from her. So that’s at least a suspension for Ryan who now has no girlfriend and an insane person stalking his ex. Good times on The OC.

Best Song of the Episode:

“The Spoils Of The Spoiled” by The New Amsterdams

Best Quote:

“Ryan, I am no girl, although I did spend several summers at Camp Tuckahoe being called such, but maybe you’re jealousy is getting in the way.” – Seth Cohen

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Dr. Kim, coming in and giving us some color! You go girl.

Weird 2004 thing:

Seth mentions to Summer that he has a bunch of Jon Stewarts Daily Show on Tivo if she ever wants to come over and watch. Today, Trevor Noah hosts the Daily Show.

Best Fashion Statement:

Me too Summer, me too. Stop wearing scarfs in Orange County. It’s like a constant 75 degrees.

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Obvious Reasons to NOT trust Oliver Trask:

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  1. He knows who you are even though you have no friends or places in common
  2. He knows your medical history
  3. He lives in a hotel
  4. Anna says her parents know the parents of the guy who’s throwing the party, but she doesn’t know who Oliver is.
  5. He says his girlfriend lives long-distance so you’ll probably never get to meet her. Super convenient.
  6. He gives you ‘come make out with me’ eyes on new years even though he knows you have a boyfriend.
  7. His name isn’t on the list for backstage passes at the front door but he meets you in back to get you in
  8. His girlfriend Natalie never shows up when he says she will (spoiler, she doesn’t exist)
  9. He makes angry phone calls about cocaine then tries to buy some off an undercover cop and gets arrested
  10. He watches you and your friends creepily from outside your house.
  11. He says his parents and Natalie will be in Palm Springs, then they don’t show up
  12. He tries to run out off the golf course by causing you to die in a golf cart accident
  13. He breaks a plate and freaks out when you call him on his shit
  14. He fakes a suicide attempt so he can make sure he has your full attention
  15. He shows up as a transfer student at your school with zero warning (because at thing point he’s probably stalking you)
  16. He makes sure you and him have the exact same schedule
  17. He slit his wrists in the high school bathroom over a girl and she filed a restraining order
  18. He tricks you into believing all of this is your fault before he coerces you into punching him several times