The O.C. Sundays




The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Four – Season One: Episode Twenty-Four: The Proposal

Recap by Holly Hill


Now that Marissa knows all about her ex boyfriend doing the dirty with her Mom, the gang decides to take her to a sad movie to cheer her up. Marissa cries through the entire thing, but assures Ryan she’s emotionally stable. Right, because Marissa Cooper just screams ‘emotionally stable’. As they’re leaving the theater they decide to go to Jamba Juice. Meanwhile, at Jamba Juice Julie is meeting Luke to discuss something he needed to see her about when Marissa shows up and loses that emotionally stable BS she was on about.

The next day Luke comes by to say sorry to Ryan and Seth and to let them know that sex isn’t still happening with Julie. Luke tells them he’s leaving town and that’s why he was meeting up with her. Now that his parents are divorced his Dad is moving to Portland and Luke is too. He wants to tell Marissa himself, but Ryan is doubtful she will see him.

Back to the adult world of that restaurant that Sandy and Jimmy are opening. The opening is TONIGHT, but their liquor license has been revoked. Assuming it’s a mistake Sandy goes to talk to the liquor board. Sandy finds out the commissioner of the liquor board, Steve Piser, who doesn’t mean anyone to Sandy, but happens to be a guy that Jimmy stole 250K from. In boring world, Hailey is hired as a hostess at the restaurant and Jimmy and her are keeping their super boring awful relationship on the down low.

Summer goes to Marissa’s who is off to meet Ryan. Summer sees the state of Marissa’s room at her Dad’s house and it’s a disaster. Summer gets an idea. She calls SEth over and they get to work making

Marissa’s room a home again. Ryan and Marissa make out on the pier so I guess that’s a thing again. They go back to her place and Caleb shows up to ask Marissa’s blessing.

Caleb: Marissa, your Mother is a wonderful woman.

Marissa: She is?

Caleb says he intends to propose to Julie tonight at the restaurant. Marissa doesn’t like it because it will make her Mom the most powerful woman in Newport. Luke meanwhile is super angry that Marissa won’t see him so he can say goodbye.

At the restaurant opening, Luke shows up driving super dupes drunk and sits in his car angrily. He decides to go inside because that’s always a great idea. Just as Julie is getting ready to be proposed to by Caleb, Luke sees the entire thing and takes off drunk in his truck. Kirsten and Hailey look like they’re going to throw up and they all start drinking heavily. Kirsten downs an entire bottle of wine.

Sandy: That’s fine I didn’t want any anyway.

At Marissa’s, Seth and Summer are being adorable.

Marissa and Ryan see a crash and an ambulance while out looking for Luke and sure enough Luke has crashed his truck and is headed to the hospital. The next morning Marissa and Ryan wait at the hospital for news of Luke. His Dad tells them that he’ll be okay, but he just had surgery and he’ll be asleep for awhile. They wait a few more hours and when he’s awake, Marissa asks to see Luke. Luke says he’s sorry and Marissa forgives him. Ryan and Luke have a heart to heart, which is kind of nice considering how their relationship started. They joke around for a bit and leave on good terms.

Luke: Welcome to Portland, bitch.

Sandy bites down his pride and asks Caleb for a favor to get the liquor license. Sandy sits Jimmy down and tells him about the liquor board. Caleb comes back after talking with the liquor board, but he can’t sway the commissioner. However, he says he has a better deal for them.

Marissa decides this is all her Mom’s fault and goes straight to Caleb’s office to tell him about Luke. Caleb talks first and says he knows everything already about Julie and still wants to marry her. Then he threatens Marissa with Jimmy’s liquor license. He says that she has to move in with him and Julie after they get married or he will withdraw his deal to Jimmy and Sandy to buy the restaurant they’ll never open. Since Jimmy needs the money and Marissa loves her dad she promises to do it.

Back at Jimmy’s, Marissa and Ryan hear noise up in Marissa’s room and go upstairs to find Seth and Summer in her newly redecorated room. She’s thrilled, but it’s too bad she won’t get to enjoy it at all soon.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Pride” by Synatx

Best Quote:

Marissa: Guys I’m fine.

Ryan: Yeah we know. Why wouldn’t you be?

Marissa: Because the guy I lost my virginity to had sex with my Mom.

Seth: Oh yeah, I remember that.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

None. They didn’t even have non-white people serving people at the restaurant. Truly a white-washed episode.

Weird 2004 thing:

Julie: I had to block you from my buddy list you were so incessant

Luke: You blocked me? I thought you were offline.

OMG julie talking about AIM (AOL instant messenger) is too much this episode. Also, ironic timing since AIM finally closed its doors just this week.

Best Fashion Statement:

Nothing screams undercover like this awesome hat that Julie is wearing to meet her ex-fuck buddy who is in high school at the local Jamba Juice. Just says I’M A CHILD SEXUAL PREDATOR.




The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Three – Season One: Episode Twenty-Three: The Nana

Recap by Holly Hill



Luke and Ryan spend all night looking for Marissa who has disappeared in light of information about Luke and Julie. Seth blames Luke (obviously) and Luke says it was an accident.

Seth: Sorry did you accidentally sleep with Marissa’s Mom or did you accidentally tell Marissa about it?

Julie shows up and wants to know where Marissa is and Luke confesses that they all know and now Marissa knows to. Julie wants to talk to Ryan alone and asks if he knows where Marissa is. He says he doesn’t but Marissa called and left a message telling him she was safe but to not try to find her. Classic drama Marissa.


They boys discuss what to do next and head to the kitchen to find Hailey who they saved from the strip club the night before. As thanks she made them a large breakfast spread. Sandy comes in with a, “We have to get all the bread out of the house!” Apparently his mother is coming to visit for the Seder, and Sandy told her they do it at their house every year…even though they don’t.

Seth: I love when The Nana comes and suddenly Dad’s all Jewish again.

Seth goes to Summer’s house to see if she’s heard from Marissa. She has, but doesn’t know where she is, only that she’s okay. Summer desperately wants to meet The Nana, but Seth says she shouldn’t want to because Nana is scary, judgemental and political. Seth says he has to pick stuff up for the Seder and Summer gets schemey. Sandy is convinced that his mother is coming out to stage an intervention and put him back on the path of righteousness since now he’s left the public sector and isn’t helping poor people anymore.

Jimmy comes over to see how Hailey is doing and flirt with her. Who cares.


“The front door is wide open. A person could walk in here, take everything, and kill us all.” Meet, The Nana, who has taken a cab from the airport and walked right in the door. She is lovely! And also none of the things Seth describe her as to Summer. Everyone is shocked and confused. Why isn’t Nana being terrible and full of opinions? Seth laments to Ryan that something is up because Kirsten and Nana don’t get along and now they suddenly are. Ryan suddenly knows where Marissa is.


Two people who don’t get along suddenly do? Marissa is at Theresa’s place in Chino. Eddie shows up and is pissed to find Ryan. Apparently it’s Theresa and Eddie’s engagement party. Marissa tells Ryan he’s wasting his time. She isn’t coming home. Boo-hoo eye roll.


Eddie finds Ryan and tells him to get out and Ryan says he’s not leaving without Marissa. Ryan gets pushed to the ground and told to leave. MY GOD MARISSA WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DOING THIS TO RYAN. Ryan calls Julie to tell him Marissa is safe and she tells him to bring her home or she’ll call the cops and tell them Ryan is holding Marissa against her will. Marissa sees Ryan’s arm that has been hurt in the fall from one of Eddie’s guys.

Marissa: I’m sorry this is all my fault.

Yes. Yes it is Marissa. Now get in the car and go home so Ryan doesn’t get his ass beat because of you!

Back at the house The Nana is suddenly a bitch again and admits she came to visit to say goodbye because she has advanced lung cancer and only has a few more months left to live. Nana doesn’t want treatment and they fight about it. Summer practices for her Seder speech. Nana smokes because she don’t give AF. Sandy says he called her doctor and he says he can slow the cancer down. Seth overhears the conversation and he and Nana have a heart to heart stare down.


Eddie and Ryan finally speak and Eddie forgives Ryan acknowledging that he is here for Marissa. Ryan says she doesn’t want him here though and Eddie disagrees. He says she went to the one place only he could find her. Meanwhile, Seth and Nana have a little pow-wow to discuss the possibility of Nana getting chemo. Luke shows up to talk to Marissa. Marissa slaps him in the face because obviously. Ryan semi-tricks Marissa into coming back with him telling her that if she stays there it will be too hard on him. Honestly, the dude is just trying to not have Julie Cooper throw him in jail.

Back at The Cohen’s Sandy and The Nana talk it over and she agrees to get treatment. Ryan brings Marissa back to her Mom’s. Julie answers the door and Marissa says she’s just there to get her stuff and go, threatening to tell everyone about Julie and Luke if her Mom stops her. Jimmy and Hailey talk about starting a relationship together, but not telling anyone just yet. Ryan shows up with Marissa and Summer leads the Seder and everyone has a happy ending.

Sandy: How was everything at home?

Ryan: You tell me, I was in chino.

OMG stop it you guys.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Float On” by Modest Mouse

Best Quote:

Seth: What’s the GP RA?

Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.

Seth: Game Plan, Ryan Atwood.

Ryan: You’re just using initials now?

Seth: Yeah, they save time.

Ryan: Well not if you have to translate them.

Seth: GP.

Ryan: Game plan?

Seth: Good point.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

We are back in Chino and while all the main speaking roles for Mexicans look practically white there are a few extras that definitely are not white. They won’t have any speaking roles though.

Weird 2004 thing:

While waiting for Marissa to call, Seth falls asleep with his cell phone and the home phone. Back when people had two phone numbers…..

Best Fashion Statement:

What is this shirt?

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Two – Season One: Episode Twenty-Two: The L.A.

Recap by Holly Hill

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Theresa is back with Eddie, and Ryan is back at the Mermaid Inn picking up a watch he left there after he did the deed with her. Seth accompanies him and they talk about how now that Theresa is gone and Marissa is out of the picture all the lady drama in Ryan’s life is gone. He’s got a clean slate. That is until they see Luke walk out of a room where Julie is staying and watch as they viciously make out in front of them. The two book it and the next morning discuss the options of their newfound knowledge.

They both agree that Marissa can’t find out because she doesn’t handle bad news well, so they will tell Luke to end it before it comes to that. Summer and Marissa are walking on the beach discussing her relationship status and Summer suggests she be by herself for a while since she’s always had a boyfriend. They come upon a film set, and it turns out that an episode of The Valley, Summer’s favorite TV show, is filming an episode and Grady Bridges, the star of the show played by Colin Hanks, is standing right there. He invites Summer and Marissa to his birthday party the next night, which sets off all of Seth’s insecurity alarms.


Jimmy and Sandy are both working on opening that restaurant, remember that? They’re close to opening it, but they’re running out of money. They need a designer for the restaurant still and Kirsten suggests they hire Julie because she’ll do it for free for the experience. Kirsten also gets a letter from Hailey, who says she’s out of the country again, much to Jimmy’s suspicions because he saw her in Orange County fairly recently. Julie steps in, much to their dismay, and she suggests that they ask Caleb for the money to get their restaurant up to speed. Caleb and Sandy fight a bit and Caleb tries to back out.

Caleb: I know when I’m not wanted

Sandy: And yet you’re always at our house.

In the end they have Caleb move his business meeting with Rivera Magazine, the tastemakers of Newport Beach, to their restaurant to try dishes from the menu. The idea is that if Caleb likes it he will invest in it and if the magazine people like it, even better for free publicity.

Meanwhile, Ryan goes for subtlety when asking Luke about Julie:


Ryan tells Luke to stop hitting it and start quitting it. Ryan says Marissa is going to LA for that birthday party tomorrow night and while she’s gone, Luke has to end it with Julie. Seth is watching The Valley and starts to get self-conscious about how much he is like the character that invited Summer to the party in LA. Marissa shows up and tells Ryan she’s not going to LA because she thinks her and Ryan need to have time apart. Ryan probably agrees, but he convinces Marissa to go so that Luke can break up with Julie. Luke bombards Julie at her porch and instead of breaking up with her he makes out with her and they end up getting it on. Not how you break up with someone Luke!

They show up at the party and can’t believe how old Grady looks and that he plays a teenager. A little bit of a play on how fucking old they all look. I appreciate that. Meanwhile Seth runs into Paris Hilton and she kisses him, much to Summer’s dismay. Then a stripper asks Ryan for a dance, but they are both taking for a loop when he realizes it’s Hailey, Kirsten’s sister. Guess she’s not in Europe.


Julie shows up at the dinner after her bang-o-rang session. As Luke is driving away he listens to Ryan’s voicemail telling him to break up with Julie and he drives back to make sure it’s done. Meanwhile, Sandy is fed up with the people that will be at his restaurant if this deal works, and Caleb being in charge. He says no restaurant is better than this, but Jimmy doesn’t really have a choice. He has to make this work. Ryan calls Sandy and tells him that Hailey is here being a stripper. Sandy tells the kids to head home now, while Jimmy freaks out at Caleb and leaves as an excuse to go and save Hailey. Ryan and Marissa try to find Seth and Summer to leave and also try to work on getting Hailey out of there. Caleb is mad that Jimmy left and Sandy says he didn’t, he went to go save Hailey and Caleb is shocked by the news and decides to invest because Jimmy is a good guy.


They find Hailey and Seth tries to get Hailey to leave with them. The manager of the club tells them to get out. Summer is with Grady in his limo and he tries to put the moves on her. Summer is immediately grossed out and leaves with Seth. Hailey gets fired just as Jimmy shows up to make sure everyone’s okay. Jimmy tells them to head back and he gives Hailey a ride back to the Cohens.

Julie is at the dinner still when Luke shows up at The Cohens to break up with her. Julie tells luke to wait outside her house and hide in the bushes or something. She heads back to the house and Luke breaks up with her and leaves. Julie calls Caleb like the tramp she is and sets up a date right away. Marissa and Ryan hang out in his room, and she goes back into the bathroom area. Luke shows up to tell Ryan he’s ‘Done having sex with Julie Cooper’. Marissa of course hears the entire thing and does her dramatic, “I gotta go.” Probably will end up on a coke binger next episode.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Ride” By The Vines

Best Quote:

Seth: This is clean-slate Ryan. No more women to protect from violent goateed factory workers or pill popping manic depressives. I’m going to declare this month Angst-Free Ryan Month.

Ryan: Month? You think it’s gonna last that long?

Seth: Angst-Free Ryan Week. With an option for an additional week if you like it. Hey, what’s Luke doing here, did you tell him about your watch?

*Proceed to watch Luke and Julie Cooper make out*

Ryan: It didn’t even last a night.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Not a single person. And they were in LA! WHAT?

Weird 2004 thing:

Summer: Thank god I had my camera phone, they are the autograph of the 21st century.

She was not wrong.

Also Paris Hilton shows up, which was a big deal in 2004. Now? I don’t even high schoolers know who she is anymore.

Best Fashion Statement:

What is this Marissa?





The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-One – Season One: Episode Twenty-One: The Goodbye Girl

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Ryan and Theresa kissed, and now Seth wants to know all the details. The morning after, he pesters Ryan for all the details, not just of the kissing, but of Theresa’s plans. If she’s dropped out of high school to get away from Eddie is she going to keep a permanent job down in Orange County, is she going to sign a lease, is Ryan going to commute to Chino and back to see her if she decides to go home. Valid questions. As we are getting to the bottom of this Theresa shows up to see if Ryan and Seth want a ride to school, just as Marissa shows up to ask the same thing. Awkward. They gotta wrap up this ‘love triangle’ where Marissa seems to be the only one who doesn’t realize she’s not exactly wanted around anymore.


Kirsten lets Sandy know that Caleb has been named Newport ‘Man of the Year’ and they are going to host the award reception at The Cohen’s. Kirsten asks if Sandy is going to take the case of the Drunken Uncle. He hasn’t told her yet that if he doesn’t then she could be in a lot of legal trouble, but his god damn Sandy Cohen moral responsibility is killing him.

Marissa asks Luke (who is banging her Mom, and she has no idea) what it was like for him when they broke up and she started dated Ryan. Someone is upset about Theresa. Luke says it sucked. Marissa goes the friend route again with Ryan and tells him that if he or Theresa need any help with her moving here or whatever she decides to do she can help. At lunch, Seth, Summer and always third wheeler Anna talk about Newport life and Anna says she’s moving back to Pittsburgh (thank god), which shocks Seth and Summer both. Ryan meets Theresa for lunch and they look at the classifieds to see if any jobs show up that interest her. It’s like Ryan is dating an adult and he is still in high school. Because that’s exactly what is happening.

Sandy: You’re in high school. She should be. You’re both in way over your heads. She’s got no real job. She’s got no place to live. And please don’t ask me if she can stay here. Theresa’s got family in Chino. She’s got a life in Chino. Running away is not the answer.

Well said. At dinner that night, Caleb is over and asks if Sandy is going to take the case. Sandy says he will if Caleb confesses to Kirsten the truth about Drunk Uncle. Ryan goes to the Mermaid Inn to tell Theresa to go home, but she has just gotten off the phone with Eddie telling him she’s not going home any time soon. The next morning, Seth gets incredibly self involved and obsessed with Anna leaving somehow being his fault. Kirsten meets Caleb for lunch and he tells her all about Drunk Uncle and how he’s ‘accidentally’ stumbled into important people’s hotel rooms for information before….but this is the first time he’s gotten caught. I’m pretty sure it’s before noon and Kiki is already drinking. When you’re Dad is a dick and gets you into legal trouble without your knowledge you drink early. Kirsten tells Sandy to not take the case. She will get outside counsel because she doesn’t want him involved.

Marissa tries to talk to Ryan at lunch about homework, when Eddie breaks into the school and confronts Ryan. He looks like he’s 40 so he quickly is told to leave by a teacher. Eddie asks if Ryan has slept with Theresa and he says no. Eddie promises he’s not letting Theresa go without a fight. Marissa witnesses everything and later asks Ryan if Theresa wants to come to Caleb’s party. Ryan says she doesn’t have a dress for something like that and then is incredibly rude to Marissa. Nice job Ryan. No seriously, nice job. Butt out Marissa.

Ryan goes to Theresa’s hotel and they proceed to sleep together. Eddie watches in his car outside, and thinks that Ryan lied to him. I mean he technically didn’t. When Eddie asked if they slept together they hadn’t yet. And now they have. Oops. Ryan kind of half heartedly invites Theresa to Caleb’s party the next morning, and since she gets the feeling that he doesn’t actually want her there she says she doesn’t want to go.

Sandy goes golfing to find an old DA buddy of his trying to get information out of Drunk Uncle as to who he works for. This worries Sandy because Kirsten is probably screwed, but the DA lets slip a lead that Sandy might be able to take advantage of. Marissa stops by Theresa’s hotel to see if she wants to go to the party and brings her dresses of hers to try on. Summer talks to Ryan about how Marissa still loves him, and that the Oliver thing was messed up but that Marissa makes mistakes just like everyone else. Except you know, her mistakes usually involve someone going to jail or dying. On cue, Marissa walks in with Theresa much to Ryan’s surprise. Anna shows up to say goodbye, but can’t bring herself to say bye to Seth so she gives Ryan a letter to give to him instead.


Luke flirts with Julie and Jimmy notices right away. Pretty gross. Jimmy tells Julie that if Marissa finds out it would destroy Marissa. Julie denies everything. Sandy gets an important call and goes to tell Caleb that he can make everything go away if Caleb agrees to an under the table deal to make some guy their chief lumber supplier for their next contract and it’s gonna be expensive. Essentially Sandy has broken the law to make sure his wife is protected. Meanwhile, Eddie shows up to confront Ryan and realizes it’s an open door party so he walks right in. He confronts Theresa, and Ryan of course steps in and ends up getting punched and ruining the party. Theresa says she needs to sort things out with Eddie.


Seth says he can’t believe Anna didn’t show up and Ryan gives him the letter, which is now completed smeared from being punched into the pool. Summer is upset because Seth is so focused on Anna and the letter and she’s getting insecure about their relationship again. Seth says it’s not like that, Anna is his friend and he doesn’t want her to leave. Summer says he should stop her then. Seth asks Ryan to drive him to the airport and Ryan tells Theresa he’ll meet her at the hotel later. Ryan turns on his jams and Seth asks what the hell they are listening to.


Caleb asks Julie on another date. Oh boy, looks he doesn’t know about the teenager relationship she’s involved in. Theresa returns Marissa’s dress and tells Marissa she’s leaving. Ryan drops Seth off and he and Anna have an emotional and very cute goodbye at the airport. They leave friends and Seth gets closure. Ryan shows up at the hotel to find Theresa’s room empty and her gone.


Best Song of the Episode:

“Specialist” By Interpol

Best Quote:

Anna: They have chin implants?

Summer: Yeah my Dad does them all the time. He says chins are the new nose.

Anna: So did Picasso.

Summer: Really what hospital did he work for? Kidding! I’m not that dumb. Just shallow.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

A black guy who works at the DA talks with Sandy about the case against Drunk Uncle.

Weird 2004 thing:

Seth asks Ryan if his kiss with Theresa had tongue action, then proceeds to ask if it’s comparable to the Britney Madonna kiss of the 2004 VMAs.

Best Fashion Statement:

Seth’s Jewfro





The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty – Season One: Episode Twenty: The Telenovela

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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At school, Ryan confirms to Seth that he and Marissa are no longer seeing each other and will just have to go back to being friends. Seth says they were never friends before. Across the quad, Marissa and Summer have the exact same conversation. Summer admits to Marissa that things with her and Seth are weird. Sex is good now, but things are super weird in public. Theresa calls Ryan and says she’ll be in town tonight and wants to hang out. Her boyfriend, Eddie (who is supposed to be 17-18 but looks like he’s 30, comes in just as she hangs up and she shoves a suitcase under the bed and says it was a wrong number. Sketchy, sketchy. Ryan just can’t help but get involved with the girls who bring drama.

A guy named Brad comes up to Summer and Seth in the hall. He tells Summer he’s doing a kissing booth fundraiser for the water polo team. He’s the guy, and they’re looking for a girl and…..


Brad leaves and Seth asks Summer why Brad doesn’t know that they are going out now. Seth clearly isn’t okay with this, but Summer agrees. Anna shows up (back from her hiatus in Pittsburgh), just in time to give Seth relationship advice about Summer, the thing she does best. At lunch, Summer is surrounded by a group of water polo players while Seth looks on in frustration. Anna remarks that it’s interesting to see Summer and Seth being a couple so well. “Your closeness, it’s overwhelming.”

At The Newport Group, Caleb tells Kirsten that his business partner Shaun has been arrested for being drunk and stumbling into a room at a hotel. Caleb wants Kirsten to ask Sandy to make it go away and Kirsten says Caleb will have to ask for his help himself. Caleb does go ask Sandy for help and says it’d mean a lot to him if he helped.

Sandy: Did Kirsten ask you to say that?

Caleb: She thinks you’re going to say no.

Sandy: Well, my wife knows me pretty well. But, you know, sometimes I like to surprise her. I don’t want her to go and get all conceited and stuff.

Sandy says he’ll look at the report and make some calls and see what he can do. Sandy goes home and tells Kirsten. Sandy asks who this ‘uncle’ Shaun even is. Kirsten says he’s a consultant. Sandy meets with drunk Uncle Shaun to discuss his case. Sandy nails Shaun down on the fact that the guy whose room he ‘randomly’ stumbled into was actually a guy in the lumber business who was in town to negotiate something with the Newport Group’s chief rival. Sandy guesses that the room he stumbled into had some important documents in it. Uncle Shaun essentially threatens Sandy says that if he ends up sitting down with the DA there’s no telling what he would say (essentially threatening Kirsten). Sandy tells Caleb he won’t take the job and Caleb says that if he doesn’t Kirsten is screwed.

Julie shows up at school for a parent teacher conference and flirts with Luke in the hallway until Jimmy shows up. He acts in a supremely obvious way that they are definitely having sex. After the conference, Julie thanks Jimmy for doing such a great job with Marissa and Julie tells him she’s not seeing Caleb anymore and she’s much happier now. Marissa finally corners Ryan and they commit to being friends. They make plans to hang out after school.

Seth and Summer have sex after school and Seth asks why she ignored him all day at school Summer say she wants their relationship to be private.


Marissa and Ryan play video games after school and it’s super awkward. Theresa shows up just as Marissa is leaving and things are even MORE weird.

The next day at the Mermaid Inn, Luke and Julie bang o rang. Reality hits when Luke has to go to homeroom and Julie has to help Caitlin with a diorama. He leaves and passes Theresa in the hallway (who doesn’t know who he is). At school, Ryan and Marissa have lunch together and try (and fail) to make things less awkward. She asks where Theresa is staying in town while she’s working and Ryan says at the Mermaid Inn.


Anna tries to stay out of Seth and Summer’s relationship for an entire 10 seconds before telling Seth that he’s a coward and she can’t let Summer get away with this. He has to take a stand and make a gesture. Seth tells Summer that he will not have sex with her again until he can acknowledge him publicly. Summer says he’ll be crawling back in no time.

Theresa and Ryan take a walk on the beach and discuss their lives. Yawn. Theresa says she and her boyfriend Eddie are taking a break (that’s not what it looked like to me Theresa, looked like you were running away!), and Ryan says that he and Marissa are too. Ryan comes home without Theresa and Eddie is in his driveway. Ryan asks what he’s doing here. Eddie says that he’s looking for Theresa. THey’re engaged and she left without a note. Ryan lies and says he hasn’t seen Theresa.

After Eddie leave, Ryan goes over to Theresa’s hotel and she confesses that Eddie is a good guy, but she’s not sure if she can marry him. She just needs some time to figure it out.

Ryan: What are you doing for dinner?

Theresa: Nothing.

Ryan: And don’t say you’re not hungry, I know you.

Theresa: I didn’t say I wasn’t hungry. I’m starving. Why do you think I’m being such a bitch?

Ryan takes Theresa to his house for dinner. Summer shows up at The Cohens for sex, but Seth remains strong and makes her leave.

Caleb shows up at Julie’s place with flowers and he says he misses her. It’s actually a pretty good scene that can only really be watched. Essentially she says, no thanks. So here you go:

Ryan tells Seth all about this Theresa drama, and when Ryan and Theresa go to the table, Kirsten and Sandy confront Seth about the situation, which he boils down:


Marissa is sitting on the couch moping, but Jimmy comes in and asks what’s wrong. She tells him about Ryan and her trying to be friends and Jimmy (ONCE AGAIN) gives her terrible advice to take a stand (STOP, JIMMY), and go over there and tell him how you feel. Marissa marches right over and into a very awkward Cohen dinner with Theresa and Ryan both. Telenovela indeed.

The next day Summer apologizes to Anna about how things ended with her and Seth and began with her and Seth. Anna tells SUmmer she doesn’t have to ignore Seth. Anna tells Summer that that Summer is either really evil or something else is going on. Summer confesses that she doesn’t know why SEth likes her. He’s way smarter, they have nothing in common and Summer is worried that he will get bored with her. THen when everyone knows they’re dating then everyone will know when he breaks up with her. Sounds like she needs a GRAND GESTURE OF LOVE.

Ryan goes to Eddie’s work to tell him that he did see Theresa. Ryan says he doesn’t know if he loves Theresa, but Eddie says that he does and he wants to take care of her. Eddie says Ryan can either help convince Theresa to get back together with him, or get ready for fight for her, because he’s not giving up on her. Julie calls Luke for a booty call at the Mermaid Inn and Marissa goes to the same hotel to talk to Theresa about Ryan.


In one of the most memorable scenes of The OC, Summer is at her kissing booth when Seth gets up and makes his gesture. He makes everyone leave and stands up on the kissing booth declaring his love for her. Summer gets up and they make up and make out. Awwwww.

Theresa calls Eddie, but while she’s waiting for him to come to the phone Ryan shows up. They make out and presumably dooooo itttttt (this is relevant later). I give this episode 5 yawns out of 5 yawns.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Something Pretty” by Patrick Park

Best Quote:

Julie: I’m Marissa’s mother and you’re a student at this school. We can’t do this.

Luke: You mean it’s over?

Julie: No. I mean, in the hallway. I’ll see you tonight.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Again Theresa is kind of there? So just her.

Weird 2004 thing:

These hats? Why did we like these hats in the early 2000s?! See below for more.

Best Fashion Statement:




The O.C. Sundays – Volume Nineteen – Season One: Episode Nineteen: The Heartbreak

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

OC-176518-The Heartbreak.jpg


Now that Oliver is gone (so sad), as is Anna (who cares), we have to address the Ryan/Marissa and the Seth/Summer relationship. The episode opens with another Cohen kitchen scene. It’s the day before Valentine’s day and Kirsten is excited. Ryan comes in looking glum and Kirsten tries to cheer him up with the idea of the Newport Group’s SINGLES GALA DANCE! Some stupid fucking charity that helps support Newport Memorial’s Heart Department. Why Ryan would be excited about this I have no idea.

At school, Marissa goes to hug/kiss Ryan and he sort of dodges the blow. YOU BROKE UP WITH HIM MARISSA. Marissa tells Ryan she wants everything to go back to the way it was and Ryan tells her he’s going to the single’s dance for V-day and Marissa says she’ll go too, but not together…because they aren’t together. Seth finds Summer to tell her that Anna is in Pittsburgh for the weekend and also they broke up. Summer is reasonably annoyed that Seth has only just asked her NOW what she’s doing for Valentine’s day as if she’s a strange backup option. Seth says he’ll be at the dance and she says she will too but basically don’t hold your breath, although they are super obviously flirting during all of this.

Sandy and Kirsten meet up for lunch and Sandy tells her he’s too busy to show up on time or help at all for the V-day dance.

Kirsten: “I forbid it. With whatever wifely authority I have vested in me on this most holy and romantic of days, no.”

Sandy and her fight some more until he asks her what they are even fighting about. She says she doesn’t know but it’s serious. Oooookay.

Back at Jimmy’s apartment he gets cookies and a note from a secret admirer and probably hopes it’s secretly Kirsten. He and Marissa talk about Ryan, and Jimmy suggests a big romantic gesture on her end because it’s Valentine’s day and that ALWAYS works. Jimmy, have you met Ryan? He would not like that.

Seth stops by Summer’s after school and finds her adorable little My Little Pony she calls Princess Sparkle. I think Captain Oats is about to have a girlfriend, and maybe Seth Cohen too. Seth tells Summer that he’s always chosen her and the only reason he and Anna broke up is because of her. Summer kisses Seth and one thing leads to another and…..awkward.


Luke shows up at Julie’s house because now that Oliver is gone and so is Caleb, these two need a plot. He makes an excuse to come over and asks if Julie is going to the Valentine’s Day dance. Julie sends him off but is secretly pleased in a weird not okay way because he’s underage.

Marissa stops by Ryan’s with a rose and tells him she loves him and starts super hardcore making out with him and taking off his clothes. Ryan stops her and when she asks if he wants to he says no, with everything that’s happened it seems soon. Marissa says she wishes it all hadn’t happened and that they could go back to normal. Ryan says this is wrong and holy shit even more awkward than Seth/Summer. Marissa leaves in a panic. YOU ARE BROKEN UP MARISSA. YOU DID THIS.

Seth tells Ryan that he had sex with Summer.

Ryan: How was it?

Seth: I had sex.

Seth says it was his first time, and Summer is more experienced (hold that thought) and he wishes he could take some faces and whining noises he made back. Seth said it was really bad, he was nemo and he just wanted to go home. Ryan tells Seth to try it again. Marissa and Summer are at the beach talking about the weird non sex that Marissa had and the weird sex that Summer had.

Sandy and Kirsten are still fighting when Seth comes in and tells Sandy he needs to talk to him about girl stuff. Sandy says he’s come to the master and it’s all Kirsten can do to hold back a choking laugh. Kirsten leaves the room and Sandy and Seth talk about how awkward sex can be the first time, much to Seth’s relief. Sandy says Seth needs to do foreplay.

Jimmy comes over to Kirsten’s with the cookies he got from his secret admirer and she says that Hailey used to make these cookies all the time. Jimmy has got a feeling it’s all from Hailey and he might get lucky. Kirsten says she’s not sure where Hailey is now but one time they thought she was in London but it turned out she was on a friend’s boat in the harbor in town. Jimmy’s got all the ideas now. He goes down to the dock to find her and does. He asks if Hailey wants to be the first customer at his restaurant and asks if she will accompany him there to try some of the dishes. She agrees and they are super weird together.

Ryan is help setting up for the event when he runs into Theresa, his old girlfriend from Chino, who is helping cater the event. Some sparks fly and looks like Marissa’s night is about to get a whole lot worse. Ryan fills Theresa in on his Marissa/Oliver nightmare and she agrees that he should be pissed off. Marissa shows up and see’s Ryan and Theresa talking and they weirdly talk about nothing until Marissa can escape the awkward. Seth takes his foreplay advice from his Dad and goes back to Summer’s house to try it again. It goes badly at first, and ends badly too. Seth is pretty sure that it’s over now.

At the dance, Sandy tells Seth and Ryan to never get married (so things are going really well). Theresa offers Ryan and Seth some rich fancy stuff on a platter and Seth is thrilled to meet her. Marissa and Summer watch from above and Marissa laments about how Ryan and Theresa have been friends forever and how cute and nice and funny she is. She just knows her and Ryan are over at this point.

Julie and Kirsten are upset at how the night is going too. Caleb didn’t show up so Julie could try to win him back, and Kirsten and Sandy are still fighting over…not 100% sure actually.

Seth talks to Summer and tells her that it’s his fault the sex isn’t working. She’s more experienced and he’s not ready for her right now. Marissa tries to start over with Ryan and he tells her he can’t do it. He’s understandably still pissed and can’t forgive that she didn’t trust him. Ryan meets Theresa outside and they chat and they go back to Ryan’s to talk for a bit as Marissa watches them leave.

Sandy sees Marissa crying at a table and gives her some advice. He says that Ryan expects people to give up on him, and she should show him that she won’t. Kirsten overhears and thinks it’s romantic AF and is ready to bone. Fight over. Marissa goes over to Ryan’s and says she’s going to fight for him.


She asks if Ryan can just forgive her and he says, “How?”. He doesn’t know if they should be together, he says it was too easy for someone to come into their lives and screw their relationship up. Marissa says he has to trust her and he counters with, “Like you trusted me?” God damn he’s got a point. It’s over AF, finally.

Luke shows up at Julie’s and tells her that Caleb is too old to see how lucky he is to have had her. Luke tells her she’s the coolest Mom, and that when he and his friends played the game ‘who’s mom would you like to fuck’ she always won. So romantic. Julie kisses Luke on the front porch with the door open (um….probably not the best idea) and invites him in.

Kirsten and Sandy come home and Kirsten finds that Sandy has prearranged the bedroom into a fuckfest. Kirsten is thrilled.


Summer shows up at Seth’s and tells him that he was her first. Summer says it should have been special for both of them….and they rushed it. But now that the pressure is off of Seth not feeling like he had to be amazing, he puts on his sex record that he already had locked and ready to go. Summer and Seth dance and presumably do the deed.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Wonderwall” By Ryan Adams but “Hello Sunshine” by Super Furry Animals comes in at a close second every time Seth sees Summer’s boobs.

Best Quote:

“I’m not going to be your sloppy seconds, ass face.” – Summer

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Theresa is back and she’s (supposed to be) Mexican so there’s one!

Weird 2004 thing:

Summer’s sunglasses are so 2000s. This was before it was cool to have sunglasses cover 70% of your face. So tiny!


Best Fashion Statement:

The pillow Seth uses to ‘cover up’




The O.C. Sundays – Volume Sixteen – Season One: Episode Eighteen: The Truth

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.



Ryan has been suspended. Sandy comes into the pool house to let Ryan know that Harbor school’s disciplinary committee is deciding on whether to expel him or not. Ryan says he’s not sorry for what he did because Oliver admitted the truth to his face. Sandy says the he can’t ground Ryan and that he’s welcome to leave and go after Oliver right now, but if he wants to be apart of the family he’s not allowed to go anywhere or see anywhere unless Sandy and Kirsten say it’s okay.

At school, Summer wisely tells Marissa that Ryan wouldn’t punch Oliver for no reason. He’s violent, but he’s not stupid. Marissa says that Ryan thinks Oliver is in love with her and Summer is like…well yeah. Marissa gets defensive because she’s insane. Marissa admits she broke up with Ryan.


Seth admits to Anna that he hasn’t talked to Ryan since he punched Oliver. Seth says he begged Ryan to stay away from him and he didn’t listen so he’s a little miffed. Anna tries to get Seth to let her in more about the whole thing, but he rudely tells her that she doesn’t really know Ryan very well so maybe she should STFU (essentially). Seth, Anna, Summer and Marissa meet up in the hall and without Ryan the entire thing feels pretty weird. Oliver shows up to make it weirder and asks what they are all doing this weekend because he just invites himself into things. His lip is still all fucked up and he walks off with Marissa. Summer, Anna and Seth mention how happy Oliver looks.

Summer: Why shouldn’t he be? He’s got Marissa all to himself now.

Oh good of you all to finally catch on to what’s happening here! At lunch Oliver keeps trying to get Marissa to come snowboarding with him this weekend. She can’t because she’ll be at her Mom’s house all weekend. Luke shows up and Oliver says he has to convince her to go because it’s not healthy for her to spend the weekend right next to Ryan. Luke tells Oliver that that’s up to Marissa not him. Marissa gets a call on her cell and it’s Ryan. She doesn’t answer, and Luke having had enough of this shit, leaves. Marissa gets up to get dessert (yeah right) and Oliver takes her cell phone and listens to Ryan’s voicemail asking Marissa to meet him in the library after school to talk. Oliver deletes the message.


Sandy and Kirsten have lunch together and Sandy wonders if he made a mistake bring Ryan home. Kirsten disagrees and they both feel secure in their decision. Suddenly men come into the office and start moving furniture. Apparently as the Newport Group’s new design director, Julie has decided to redecorate the entire office. Yikes.

Back in brother and sister land, aka Seth and Anna, Seth keeps blowing Anna off. He doesn’t want to hang out with her after school and he doesn’t want to talk with her about Ryan. Summer asks if she can hang out with them after school and suddenly they’re a weird threesome again. They are about to leave when Ryan shows up at school. Seth begs him to leave since he’s not supposed to be there. Ryan says Oliver is unstable and violent and he’s supposed to meet Marissa after school. He says that Natalie, Oliver’s girlfriend, probably doesn’t exists and Seth disagrees. It’d be INSANE to make up a girlfriend, right? Ryan goes any way and eventually Oliver meets Ryan in the library instead of Marissa. He tells Ryan that Marissa said she’s not coming and to stop calling her or she’s going to file a restraining order. Ryan doesn’t believe him and tells him this isn’t over.

Kirsten’s kitchen at home suddenly becomes her office as Julie’s decorating gets out of control. Julie shows up and asks if Kirsten wants to carpool to work. Seeing no way out of it Kirsten goes to change while Julie sits outside with a newspaper and coffee. Suddenly, Ryan shows up staring at her like a weirdo. She asks him why he isn’t at school.

Ryan: I got suspended.

Julie: Who did you beat up this time? Dr. Kim?

Ryan can’t help himself. He tells Julie all about Oliver and it seems as if she doesn’t believe him.

At work, Kirsten asks her Dad if she can talk about Julie. Caleb admits that Julie is driving him crazy. Caleb asks Kirsten if he can break up with Julie for him. Seriously, he asked that. Kirsten shows up at the office the next day and she is super impressed with the work Julie has done with the office. She tells Julie that her Dad doesn’t want to see her anymore.

At school, Oliver keeps pressuring Marissa to ask to spend the weekend with him instead of her Mom. He guilts her, saying she doesn’t want to hang out with him. Marissa says she would like to blow everything off and hang out with him but she can’t. Oliver is like okay, let’s just blow everything off then. Marissa agrees to ditch therapy and school with Oliver as long as he can bring her back in time for dinner with her Mom. Luke and Seth watch them go from afar and Luke laments on how he doesn’t trust Oliver. Seth asks if Luke has met Natalie and he says no.

Seth: Ryan thinks he made her up.

Luke recalls Oliver telling them Natalie went to Pacific and Luke knows people there so he says he’ll ask them if they know. At home that night, Seth has Anna and Summer over reading comic books. Anna is clearly jealous and starting to realize Seth might not be into her anymore. Luke stops by to see Ryan and tells him Marissa left school with Oliver today and didn’t come back and that he talked to his friends at Pacific and they said there is no Natalie.

Ryan sneaks next door to see Marissa and tells her there is no Natalie. Marissa is pissed off for some reason and is extra mad that Ryan called her Mom to tell her she wasn’t at school so her and Oliver both got in trouble. Marissa takes off and Sandy is super pissed that Ryan went to go see Marissa anyway. Suddenly Marissa is at Oliver’s pethouse and he is thrilled that he now has her all to himself.

The next morning Ryan apologizes to Sandy and tells him he shouldn’t have gone over there last night. Luke shows up at the house and Ryan tells him that he confronted her and she didn’t believe him. Luke says he is going to go make Marissa talk to him. In Oliver suites, he has a whole day planned with Marissa and even offers to take her to Paris too. Okay Marissa WAKE UP! Marissa’s phone rings and it’s Luke telling her there is no Natalie. Marissa asks him to go to her house tell her Mom she’s fine, pick up some clothes and bring them to the penthouse.

Luke shows up at Marissa’s and Julie invites him up as she packs some of Marissa’s things up. She’s been crying since Kirsten broke up with her for Caleb. Luke comforts her and then BOW CHICKAA WOW WOWWW, they almost kiss. Julie breaks away immediately because she’s the adult here and even though Luke looks like he’s 30, he’s only 16.

Marissa goes down to the lobby to see if her bag has been dropped off and notices that the front desk woman is named Natalie. She asks if she knows Oliver and she says she has since he was little, he used to babysit her. Marissa goes back upstairs more than a little freaked out (finally). She says she met Natalie downstairs and says she’s gotta go. Oliver starts hitting himself and Marissa promises she’s not going anywhere. She tells Oliver to go get changed and then they can go. When he leaves the room she calls Ryan immediately instead of I don’t know LEAVING? Ryan grabs the phone and Marissa tells him that Oliver won’t let her leave the hotel. Oliver comes back with a GUN because WHY NOT PSYCHO, and tells Marissa’s to give him the phone and he hangs up on Ryan.

Ryan comes in the kitchen and is ready to go! Sandy tells him to give him the keys. After a long internal struggle he does and Sandy says, “I’ll drive.” YESSSSSS favorite part. In the penthouse Oliver is pointing the gun around and Marissa is freaking out. She says she has to leave sometime and they can still be friends.


Whoop there it is. Fuckin’ A Marissa. Are you stupid? He literally says, “How can you not know that?” I don’t know Oliver! It’s a mystery to everyone. Ryan and Sandy go to the front desk and find NATALIE and tell her they had an emergency call from the penthouse, but now no one is answering. They go up to the penthouse with Natalie and security and Natalie knocks on the door. Oliver says everything is fine and Sandy says they’ll go. Ryan ain’t taking that shit lightly so he bangs on the door and yells Marissa’s name, which seem to wake her out of her stupor. Oliver is pointing the gun at her telling her to be quiet, but she can’t help herself.

Marissa: Ryan he’s got a gun!

Security comes in right away guns drawn and Oliver has the gun to his own head now. Ryan talks him down enough so security can detain him and Marissa runs into Ryan’s arms apologizing. OH CHRIST GIRLFRIEND YOU DON’T GET TO JUST BEG FOR FORGIVENESS NOW.


At the Cohen’s, Anna and Seth are playing Jenga when they find out that Marissa is okay. The first thing Seth wants to do is call Summer and Anna loses it.

Anna: I think you’re a great guy, but I’m not going to stand here and pretend that I’m your girlfriend when I’m not.

Seth can’t make decisions until they’re made for him apparently. Anna leaves him and he’s only baffled for about two seconds. Ryan makes it back to the pool house and Seth is laying on the bed. He apologizes for not believing him. Awww.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Love of the Loveless” by Eels

Best Quote:

“If Julie Cooper asks you to do anything you nod your head yes and you do nothing.” – Kirsten

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Not a single one.

Weird 2004 thing:

So many flip phones!

Best Fashion Statement:

Julie’s wearing this white sweater with an obnoxiously loud fur looking thing draped around it. It’s amazingly awful.

Obvious Reasons to NOT trust Oliver Trask:


  1. He knows who you are even though you have no friends or places in common
  2. He knows your medical history
  3. He lives in a hotel
  4. Anna says her parents know the parents of the guy who’s throwing the party, but she doesn’t know who Oliver is.
  5. He says his girlfriend lives long-distance so you’ll probably never get to meet her. Super convenient.
  6. He gives you ‘come make out with me’ eyes on new years even though he knows you have a boyfriend.
  7. His name isn’t on the list for backstage passes at the front door but he meets you in back to get you in
  8. His girlfriend Natalie never shows up when he says she will (spoiler, she doesn’t exist)
  9. He makes angry phone calls about cocaine then tries to buy some off an undercover cop and gets arrested
  10. He watches you and your friends creepily from outside your boyfriend’s house.
  11. He says his parents and Natalie will be in Palm Springs, then they don’t show up
  12. He tries to run you off the golf course by nearly crashing into you in a golf cart
  13. He breaks a plate and freaks out when you call him on his shit
  14. He fakes a suicide attempt so he can make sure he has your full attention
  15. He shows up as a transfer student at your school with zero warning (because at this point he’s probably stalking you)
  16. He makes sure you and him have the exact same schedule
  17. He has previously slit his wrists in the high school bathroom over a girl and she filed a restraining order
  18. He tricks you into believing all of this is your fault before he coerces you into punching him several times
  19. He listens to your voicemails and deletes them
  20. He offers to take you to Paris and run away with you, making you skip your very important therapy and make everyone around you worried
  21. He lies about his girlfriend Natalie and you find out that Natalie is actually a middle aged woman at the hotel’s front desk who took care of him when he was a kid
  22. When you try to leave he takes a gun out and threatens to kill himself if you leave