Author: hollishillis

Justice League Pulls Apart Boxes

…is the headline Lois Lane must write after this movie is over. That’s literally what this movie is about by the way. Pullin’ apart them boxes. This is why we need super heroes guys.

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Wonder Woman was amazing, right? Remember how good it felt walking out of the theater for it? Thinking okay, I guess DC can make good movies, they just have chosen not to make good ones up until now (with the exception of the Dark Knight series of course).

I’m not sure what exactly was unsavory about this movie. Was it husky Batman? The forced humor between super heroes with no chemistry? The robbing of Clark Kent’s grave? Superman’s fucked up face? Or maybe it was the fact that the heroes spent the entire movie trying to keep three boxes apart, only to essentially GIVE the last box to our villain, then spent the last half of the movie trying to rip said boxes apart. Cool. Boxes.

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The movie wasn’t ALL bad though and I don’t think it deserves the rotten tomato score it was given. I’d at least put it at 50%. There were some funny parts, and of course Wonder Woman was there so hey it wasn’t all bad.

Let’s plot summarize and here’s some spoilers so watch out.

Some kids are taking a cell phone video of Superman after he’s saved some people. He looks weird. Is this a video game? No it’s real life. The kids ask Superman some questions and something is off. What is it? I know…it’s his face. Why is his face so fucked up (more on that later).

This video was taken awhile ago because of course (I honestly forgot) Superman died in Batman vs Superman. I couldn’t tell you how or why but I know Husky Batman blames himself for it. He’s on a roof doing his vigilante thing when electronic wasp men from another dimension pop up out of nowhere. Batman is able to kill the wasp and it leaves behind an imprint of three boxes?  I use a question mark here because I’m honestly not entirely sure what happens only that Batman has been tracking the three boxes for some reason and I don’t really know I’m bored even explaining it so let’s move on.

Let’s go back to our happy place on Wonder Women’s Amazonian island. The kick ass women warriors are guarding a box (oh boy boxes!) and then it cracks and a crazy man comes through who’s very tall and controls the wasp people. The women put up a 20 minute awesome fight to save the box from being taken but they lose, and lots of people die. It’s the best scene of the movie though so nice job.

The tall evil man, let’s just call him Steppenwolf because that’s his name, rages about some ‘mother’ and the boxes. He takes off and the amazonians light a signal on Earth to warn Diana aka Wonder Woman that this box guy is coming for them.

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Meanwhile Husky Batman is trying to get a gang together to fight Steppenwolf. He goes to find Aquaman in a remote sea village by riding a donkey. I mean I feel like there are better ways to get there, but you just do you Husky Batman. Aquaman is like, you dress like a bat and have no super powers, I will absolutely not fight with you. Then Husky Batman goes to find Flash, and Flash is like, you dress like a bat and have no super powers? I am IN. SO IN.

Then we have the Cyborg because diversity. Even though half of his black skin is covered in shiny metal, we care about diversity, okay guys? Cyborg is like no thanks, but then Wonder Woman is like, do it, join our gang and he says okay because no one can say no to Wonder Woman. So now we have the Justice League. But wait, we are missing SUPERMAN. Oh yeah he’s dead.

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Lois Lane is super unhappy about it, and whines on her lunch break with Clark’s Mom. Clark’s Mom is like Clark always said you were so thirsty. Blow job joke, nice. Everyone is sad that Superman is gone though and hate crimes are up and people are mean. There’s neo-nazis cursing out Muslim women in slow motion as crates of fruit fly around the screen (I wish I was making this up) and if only we bring Superman back we can get rid of this box guy once and for all.

Meanwhile, box guy has two of the three boxes. Remember how the Amazonian women put up a kick ass fight to stop him from stealing their box? Well the Aquaman people get thrown against some coral and give up in about five seconds. So now he has two boxes. The last box the Justice League has retrieved and this guy can’t destroy the world without the third one so of course they keep it safe and hidden right?

WRONG! So Flash and Cyborg dig up Clark’s gave, bring his coffin to where his space ship is in Metropolis, throw him in the spaceship water and then throw the third box in with him. There’s some theory to this but I couldn’t pay attention so just know that Flash charges the box, which charges the space ship, which in turn somehow brings Superman back. Superman gets pissed, fights everyone and in the meantime THE THIRD BOX IS STOLEN FOR ULTIMATE WORLD DOMINATION. You guys had one job…

Superman see’s Lois and calms his tits and flies them back to his corn farm in Smallville. He gets all Gladiator and strokes his wheat, I mean corn, for a bit. Then he’s like, “Well better go fight crime”, and the audience is like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE. WHY IS IT SO WEIRD LOOKING ( more on that later I swear).

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So Justice League goes to this small town in Russia that Cyborg finds with his computer skills. Apparently box man is there, and Husky Batman suddenly speaks up that the town has nuclear reactors so of course box man is there. Nothing makes sense. Also apparently Husky Batman can just pull random facts about small Russian towns out of his Husky butthole now.

They go to the town, save a small family we’ve been forced to follow the entire movie. Spoiler, they live. Also, who cares. Luckily Justice League is able to stop box man by pulling his boxes apart. Nice job Justice League. There’s an after credits scene though where they’re bringing back Lex Luthor so if you hated him (and I would go by the critic and fan reviews that we ALL HATED HIM) then get ready for some more shitty shit.

Okay are you ready to hear about Superman’s fucked up face? So after the movie I googled it thinking, “Henry Cavill knew that this movie was going to suck and refused to be in it so they digitized his face right?” NOPE. They had to do a bunch of reshoots (apparently every scene Superman was in), but by this time Henry had grown a mustache for another movie and he was NOT SHAVING THAT SHIT OFF. So they said fine. We will film you with a mustache and edit it in post. Which is hilarious, because it looks awful and really just adds to the shitiness of this movie.

More Wonder Woman movies plz. k thanks. Bye.

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JUST F ALREADY PODCAST – EPISODE 2: CLUB SHADOWLANDS BY CHERISE SINCLAIR

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Welcome to the 2nd episode of  CinemAbysmal Radio produced “Just F Already”! Or as we like to call it, but the podcast world won’t let us, Just Fuck Already! Holly Hill and Yoli Banos get together once a month to discuss a trashy romance book and get a lot R-rated with you.

In this episode, Holly and Yoli get a little Just Feminist Already, delving straight into a BDSM club book, talking about consent and also how you should ALWAYS make sure people have washed their hands before their fingers enter your body.

As always, please SHARE, RATE, AND SUBSCRIBE!

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Spreaker – https://www.spreaker.com/user/9227539/02-club-shadowlands-by-cherise-sinclairhttps://www.spreaker.com/JustFAlready

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Google Play Music – https://playmusic.app.goo.gl/?ibi=com.google.PlayMusic&isi=691797987&ius=googleplaymusic&link=https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig34l6snbq6niwu2zwxefazejfq?t%3DJust_F_Already%26pcampaignid%3DMKT-na-all-co-pr-mu-pod-16

Stitcher –  https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/just-f-already 

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THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-THREE S01: E23: THE NANA

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-THREE: S01: E23: THE NANA

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Three – Season One: Episode Twenty-Three: The Nana

Recap by Holly Hill

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Recap:

Luke and Ryan spend all night looking for Marissa who has disappeared in light of information about Luke and Julie. Seth blames Luke (obviously) and Luke says it was an accident.

Seth: Sorry did you accidentally sleep with Marissa’s Mom or did you accidentally tell Marissa about it?

Julie shows up and wants to know where Marissa is and Luke confesses that they all know and now Marissa knows to. Julie wants to talk to Ryan alone and asks if he knows where Marissa is. He says he doesn’t but Marissa called and left a message telling him she was safe but to not try to find her. Classic drama Marissa.

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They boys discuss what to do next and head to the kitchen to find Hailey who they saved from the strip club the night before. As thanks she made them a large breakfast spread. Sandy comes in with a, “We have to get all the bread out of the house!” Apparently his mother is coming to visit for the Seder, and Sandy told her they do it at their house every year…even though they don’t.

Seth: I love when The Nana comes and suddenly Dad’s all Jewish again.

Seth goes to Summer’s house to see if she’s heard from Marissa. She has, but doesn’t know where she is, only that she’s okay. Summer desperately wants to meet The Nana, but Seth says she shouldn’t want to because Nana is scary, judgemental and political. Seth says he has to pick stuff up for the Seder and Summer gets schemey. Sandy is convinced that his mother is coming out to stage an intervention and put him back on the path of righteousness since now he’s left the public sector and isn’t helping poor people anymore.

Jimmy comes over to see how Hailey is doing and flirt with her. Who cares.

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“The front door is wide open. A person could walk in here, take everything, and kill us all.” Meet, The Nana, who has taken a cab from the airport and walked right in the door. She is lovely! And also none of the things Seth describe her as to Summer. Everyone is shocked and confused. Why isn’t Nana being terrible and full of opinions? Seth laments to Ryan that something is up because Kirsten and Nana don’t get along and now they suddenly are. Ryan suddenly knows where Marissa is.

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Two people who don’t get along suddenly do? Marissa is at Theresa’s place in Chino. Eddie shows up and is pissed to find Ryan. Apparently it’s Theresa and Eddie’s engagement party. Marissa tells Ryan he’s wasting his time. She isn’t coming home. Boo-hoo eye roll.

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Eddie finds Ryan and tells him to get out and Ryan says he’s not leaving without Marissa. Ryan gets pushed to the ground and told to leave. MY GOD MARISSA WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DOING THIS TO RYAN. Ryan calls Julie to tell him Marissa is safe and she tells him to bring her home or she’ll call the cops and tell them Ryan is holding Marissa against her will. Marissa sees Ryan’s arm that has been hurt in the fall from one of Eddie’s guys.

Marissa: I’m sorry this is all my fault.

Yes. Yes it is Marissa. Now get in the car and go home so Ryan doesn’t get his ass beat because of you!

Back at the house The Nana is suddenly a bitch again and admits she came to visit to say goodbye because she has advanced lung cancer and only has a few more months left to live. Nana doesn’t want treatment and they fight about it. Summer practices for her Seder speech. Nana smokes because she don’t give AF. Sandy says he called her doctor and he says he can slow the cancer down. Seth overhears the conversation and he and Nana have a heart to heart stare down.

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Eddie and Ryan finally speak and Eddie forgives Ryan acknowledging that he is here for Marissa. Ryan says she doesn’t want him here though and Eddie disagrees. He says she went to the one place only he could find her. Meanwhile, Seth and Nana have a little pow-wow to discuss the possibility of Nana getting chemo. Luke shows up to talk to Marissa. Marissa slaps him in the face because obviously. Ryan semi-tricks Marissa into coming back with him telling her that if she stays there it will be too hard on him. Honestly, the dude is just trying to not have Julie Cooper throw him in jail.

Back at The Cohen’s Sandy and The Nana talk it over and she agrees to get treatment. Ryan brings Marissa back to her Mom’s. Julie answers the door and Marissa says she’s just there to get her stuff and go, threatening to tell everyone about Julie and Luke if her Mom stops her. Jimmy and Hailey talk about starting a relationship together, but not telling anyone just yet. Ryan shows up with Marissa and Summer leads the Seder and everyone has a happy ending.

Sandy: How was everything at home?

Ryan: You tell me, I was in chino.

OMG stop it you guys.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Float On” by Modest Mouse

Best Quote:

Seth: What’s the GP RA?

Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.

Seth: Game Plan, Ryan Atwood.

Ryan: You’re just using initials now?

Seth: Yeah, they save time.

Ryan: Well not if you have to translate them.

Seth: GP.

Ryan: Game plan?

Seth: Good point.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

We are back in Chino and while all the main speaking roles for Mexicans look practically white there are a few extras that definitely are not white. They won’t have any speaking roles though.

Weird 2004 thing:

While waiting for Marissa to call, Seth falls asleep with his cell phone and the home phone. Back when people had two phone numbers…..

Best Fashion Statement:

What is this shirt?

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THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-TWO: S01: E22: THE L.A.

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-TWO: S01: E22: THE L.A.

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Two – Season One: Episode Twenty-Two: The L.A.

Recap by Holly Hill

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Recap:

Theresa is back with Eddie, and Ryan is back at the Mermaid Inn picking up a watch he left there after he did the deed with her. Seth accompanies him and they talk about how now that Theresa is gone and Marissa is out of the picture all the lady drama in Ryan’s life is gone. He’s got a clean slate. That is until they see Luke walk out of a room where Julie is staying and watch as they viciously make out in front of them. The two book it and the next morning discuss the options of their newfound knowledge.

They both agree that Marissa can’t find out because she doesn’t handle bad news well, so they will tell Luke to end it before it comes to that. Summer and Marissa are walking on the beach discussing her relationship status and Summer suggests she be by herself for a while since she’s always had a boyfriend. They come upon a film set, and it turns out that an episode of The Valley, Summer’s favorite TV show, is filming an episode and Grady Bridges, the star of the show played by Colin Hanks, is standing right there. He invites Summer and Marissa to his birthday party the next night, which sets off all of Seth’s insecurity alarms.

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Jimmy and Sandy are both working on opening that restaurant, remember that? They’re close to opening it, but they’re running out of money. They need a designer for the restaurant still and Kirsten suggests they hire Julie because she’ll do it for free for the experience. Kirsten also gets a letter from Hailey, who says she’s out of the country again, much to Jimmy’s suspicions because he saw her in Orange County fairly recently. Julie steps in, much to their dismay, and she suggests that they ask Caleb for the money to get their restaurant up to speed. Caleb and Sandy fight a bit and Caleb tries to back out.

Caleb: I know when I’m not wanted

Sandy: And yet you’re always at our house.

In the end they have Caleb move his business meeting with Rivera Magazine, the tastemakers of Newport Beach, to their restaurant to try dishes from the menu. The idea is that if Caleb likes it he will invest in it and if the magazine people like it, even better for free publicity.

Meanwhile, Ryan goes for subtlety when asking Luke about Julie:

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Ryan tells Luke to stop hitting it and start quitting it. Ryan says Marissa is going to LA for that birthday party tomorrow night and while she’s gone, Luke has to end it with Julie. Seth is watching The Valley and starts to get self-conscious about how much he is like the character that invited Summer to the party in LA. Marissa shows up and tells Ryan she’s not going to LA because she thinks her and Ryan need to have time apart. Ryan probably agrees, but he convinces Marissa to go so that Luke can break up with Julie. Luke bombards Julie at her porch and instead of breaking up with her he makes out with her and they end up getting it on. Not how you break up with someone Luke!

They show up at the party and can’t believe how old Grady looks and that he plays a teenager. A little bit of a play on how fucking old they all look. I appreciate that. Meanwhile Seth runs into Paris Hilton and she kisses him, much to Summer’s dismay. Then a stripper asks Ryan for a dance, but they are both taking for a loop when he realizes it’s Hailey, Kirsten’s sister. Guess she’s not in Europe.

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Julie shows up at the dinner after her bang-o-rang session. As Luke is driving away he listens to Ryan’s voicemail telling him to break up with Julie and he drives back to make sure it’s done. Meanwhile, Sandy is fed up with the people that will be at his restaurant if this deal works, and Caleb being in charge. He says no restaurant is better than this, but Jimmy doesn’t really have a choice. He has to make this work. Ryan calls Sandy and tells him that Hailey is here being a stripper. Sandy tells the kids to head home now, while Jimmy freaks out at Caleb and leaves as an excuse to go and save Hailey. Ryan and Marissa try to find Seth and Summer to leave and also try to work on getting Hailey out of there. Caleb is mad that Jimmy left and Sandy says he didn’t, he went to go save Hailey and Caleb is shocked by the news and decides to invest because Jimmy is a good guy.

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They find Hailey and Seth tries to get Hailey to leave with them. The manager of the club tells them to get out. Summer is with Grady in his limo and he tries to put the moves on her. Summer is immediately grossed out and leaves with Seth. Hailey gets fired just as Jimmy shows up to make sure everyone’s okay. Jimmy tells them to head back and he gives Hailey a ride back to the Cohens.

Julie is at the dinner still when Luke shows up at The Cohens to break up with her. Julie tells luke to wait outside her house and hide in the bushes or something. She heads back to the house and Luke breaks up with her and leaves. Julie calls Caleb like the tramp she is and sets up a date right away. Marissa and Ryan hang out in his room, and she goes back into the bathroom area. Luke shows up to tell Ryan he’s ‘Done having sex with Julie Cooper’. Marissa of course hears the entire thing and does her dramatic, “I gotta go.” Probably will end up on a coke binger next episode.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Ride” By The Vines

Best Quote:

Seth: This is clean-slate Ryan. No more women to protect from violent goateed factory workers or pill popping manic depressives. I’m going to declare this month Angst-Free Ryan Month.

Ryan: Month? You think it’s gonna last that long?

Seth: Angst-Free Ryan Week. With an option for an additional week if you like it. Hey, what’s Luke doing here, did you tell him about your watch?

*Proceed to watch Luke and Julie Cooper make out*

Ryan: It didn’t even last a night.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Not a single person. And they were in LA! WHAT?

Weird 2004 thing:

Summer: Thank god I had my camera phone, they are the autograph of the 21st century.

She was not wrong.

Also Paris Hilton shows up, which was a big deal in 2004. Now? I don’t even high schoolers know who she is anymore.

Best Fashion Statement:

What is this Marissa?

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THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-ONE: S01: E21: THE GOODBYE GIRL

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-ONE: S01: E21: The Goodbye Girl

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-One – Season One: Episode Twenty-One: The Goodbye Girl

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Recap:

Ryan and Theresa kissed, and now Seth wants to know all the details. The morning after, he pesters Ryan for all the details, not just of the kissing, but of Theresa’s plans. If she’s dropped out of high school to get away from Eddie is she going to keep a permanent job down in Orange County, is she going to sign a lease, is Ryan going to commute to Chino and back to see her if she decides to go home. Valid questions. As we are getting to the bottom of this Theresa shows up to see if Ryan and Seth want a ride to school, just as Marissa shows up to ask the same thing. Awkward. They gotta wrap up this ‘love triangle’ where Marissa seems to be the only one who doesn’t realize she’s not exactly wanted around anymore.

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Kirsten lets Sandy know that Caleb has been named Newport ‘Man of the Year’ and they are going to host the award reception at The Cohen’s. Kirsten asks if Sandy is going to take the case of the Drunken Uncle. He hasn’t told her yet that if he doesn’t then she could be in a lot of legal trouble, but his god damn Sandy Cohen moral responsibility is killing him.

Marissa asks Luke (who is banging her Mom, and she has no idea) what it was like for him when they broke up and she started dated Ryan. Someone is upset about Theresa. Luke says it sucked. Marissa goes the friend route again with Ryan and tells him that if he or Theresa need any help with her moving here or whatever she decides to do she can help. At lunch, Seth, Summer and always third wheeler Anna talk about Newport life and Anna says she’s moving back to Pittsburgh (thank god), which shocks Seth and Summer both. Ryan meets Theresa for lunch and they look at the classifieds to see if any jobs show up that interest her. It’s like Ryan is dating an adult and he is still in high school. Because that’s exactly what is happening.

Sandy: You’re in high school. She should be. You’re both in way over your heads. She’s got no real job. She’s got no place to live. And please don’t ask me if she can stay here. Theresa’s got family in Chino. She’s got a life in Chino. Running away is not the answer.

Well said. At dinner that night, Caleb is over and asks if Sandy is going to take the case. Sandy says he will if Caleb confesses to Kirsten the truth about Drunk Uncle. Ryan goes to the Mermaid Inn to tell Theresa to go home, but she has just gotten off the phone with Eddie telling him she’s not going home any time soon. The next morning, Seth gets incredibly self involved and obsessed with Anna leaving somehow being his fault. Kirsten meets Caleb for lunch and he tells her all about Drunk Uncle and how he’s ‘accidentally’ stumbled into important people’s hotel rooms for information before….but this is the first time he’s gotten caught. I’m pretty sure it’s before noon and Kiki is already drinking. When you’re Dad is a dick and gets you into legal trouble without your knowledge you drink early. Kirsten tells Sandy to not take the case. She will get outside counsel because she doesn’t want him involved.

Marissa tries to talk to Ryan at lunch about homework, when Eddie breaks into the school and confronts Ryan. He looks like he’s 40 so he quickly is told to leave by a teacher. Eddie asks if Ryan has slept with Theresa and he says no. Eddie promises he’s not letting Theresa go without a fight. Marissa witnesses everything and later asks Ryan if Theresa wants to come to Caleb’s party. Ryan says she doesn’t have a dress for something like that and then is incredibly rude to Marissa. Nice job Ryan. No seriously, nice job. Butt out Marissa.

Ryan goes to Theresa’s hotel and they proceed to sleep together. Eddie watches in his car outside, and thinks that Ryan lied to him. I mean he technically didn’t. When Eddie asked if they slept together they hadn’t yet. And now they have. Oops. Ryan kind of half heartedly invites Theresa to Caleb’s party the next morning, and since she gets the feeling that he doesn’t actually want her there she says she doesn’t want to go.

Sandy goes golfing to find an old DA buddy of his trying to get information out of Drunk Uncle as to who he works for. This worries Sandy because Kirsten is probably screwed, but the DA lets slip a lead that Sandy might be able to take advantage of. Marissa stops by Theresa’s hotel to see if she wants to go to the party and brings her dresses of hers to try on. Summer talks to Ryan about how Marissa still loves him, and that the Oliver thing was messed up but that Marissa makes mistakes just like everyone else. Except you know, her mistakes usually involve someone going to jail or dying. On cue, Marissa walks in with Theresa much to Ryan’s surprise. Anna shows up to say goodbye, but can’t bring herself to say bye to Seth so she gives Ryan a letter to give to him instead.

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Luke flirts with Julie and Jimmy notices right away. Pretty gross. Jimmy tells Julie that if Marissa finds out it would destroy Marissa. Julie denies everything. Sandy gets an important call and goes to tell Caleb that he can make everything go away if Caleb agrees to an under the table deal to make some guy their chief lumber supplier for their next contract and it’s gonna be expensive. Essentially Sandy has broken the law to make sure his wife is protected. Meanwhile, Eddie shows up to confront Ryan and realizes it’s an open door party so he walks right in. He confronts Theresa, and Ryan of course steps in and ends up getting punched and ruining the party. Theresa says she needs to sort things out with Eddie.

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Seth says he can’t believe Anna didn’t show up and Ryan gives him the letter, which is now completed smeared from being punched into the pool. Summer is upset because Seth is so focused on Anna and the letter and she’s getting insecure about their relationship again. Seth says it’s not like that, Anna is his friend and he doesn’t want her to leave. Summer says he should stop her then. Seth asks Ryan to drive him to the airport and Ryan tells Theresa he’ll meet her at the hotel later. Ryan turns on his jams and Seth asks what the hell they are listening to.

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Caleb asks Julie on another date. Oh boy, looks he doesn’t know about the teenager relationship she’s involved in. Theresa returns Marissa’s dress and tells Marissa she’s leaving. Ryan drops Seth off and he and Anna have an emotional and very cute goodbye at the airport. They leave friends and Seth gets closure. Ryan shows up at the hotel to find Theresa’s room empty and her gone.

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Best Song of the Episode:

“Specialist” By Interpol

Best Quote:

Anna: They have chin implants?

Summer: Yeah my Dad does them all the time. He says chins are the new nose.

Anna: So did Picasso.

Summer: Really what hospital did he work for? Kidding! I’m not that dumb. Just shallow.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

A black guy who works at the DA talks with Sandy about the case against Drunk Uncle.

Weird 2004 thing:

Seth asks Ryan if his kiss with Theresa had tongue action, then proceeds to ask if it’s comparable to the Britney Madonna kiss of the 2004 VMAs.

Best Fashion Statement:

Seth’s Jewfro

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Just F Already Podcast – Episode 1: Gabriel’s Inferno by Sylvian Reynard

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Welcome to the 1st episode of  CinemAbysmal Radio produced “Just F Already”! Or as we like to call it, but the podcast world won’t let us, Just Fuck Already! Holly Hill and Yoli Banos get together once a month to discuss a trashy romance book and get a lot R-rated with you. Our first episode is about Sylvian Reynard’s Gabriel’s Inferno and it’s a DOOZY. As always, please SHARE, RATE, AND SUBSCRIBE!

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iTunes – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/gabriels-inferno-by-sylvian-reynard/id1294125447?i=1000393216090

Google Play Music – https://playmusic.app.goo.gl/?ibi=com.google.PlayMusic&isi=691797987&ius=googleplaymusic&link=https://play.google.com/music/m/Ig34l6snbq6niwu2zwxefazejfq?t%3DJust_F_Already%26pcampaignid%3DMKT-na-all-co-pr-mu-pod-16

Stitcher https://app.stitcher.com/splayer/f/153657/51743689

Soundcloud – Coming Soon

Spreaker – https://www.spreaker.com/JustFAlready

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY: S01: E20: THE TELENOVELA

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY: S01: E20: THE TELENOVELA

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty – Season One: Episode Twenty: The Telenovela

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Recap:

At school, Ryan confirms to Seth that he and Marissa are no longer seeing each other and will just have to go back to being friends. Seth says they were never friends before. Across the quad, Marissa and Summer have the exact same conversation. Summer admits to Marissa that things with her and Seth are weird. Sex is good now, but things are super weird in public. Theresa calls Ryan and says she’ll be in town tonight and wants to hang out. Her boyfriend, Eddie (who is supposed to be 17-18 but looks like he’s 30, comes in just as she hangs up and she shoves a suitcase under the bed and says it was a wrong number. Sketchy, sketchy. Ryan just can’t help but get involved with the girls who bring drama.

A guy named Brad comes up to Summer and Seth in the hall. He tells Summer he’s doing a kissing booth fundraiser for the water polo team. He’s the guy, and they’re looking for a girl and…..

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Brad leaves and Seth asks Summer why Brad doesn’t know that they are going out now. Seth clearly isn’t okay with this, but Summer agrees. Anna shows up (back from her hiatus in Pittsburgh), just in time to give Seth relationship advice about Summer, the thing she does best. At lunch, Summer is surrounded by a group of water polo players while Seth looks on in frustration. Anna remarks that it’s interesting to see Summer and Seth being a couple so well. “Your closeness, it’s overwhelming.”

At The Newport Group, Caleb tells Kirsten that his business partner Shaun has been arrested for being drunk and stumbling into a room at a hotel. Caleb wants Kirsten to ask Sandy to make it go away and Kirsten says Caleb will have to ask for his help himself. Caleb does go ask Sandy for help and says it’d mean a lot to him if he helped.

Sandy: Did Kirsten ask you to say that?

Caleb: She thinks you’re going to say no.

Sandy: Well, my wife knows me pretty well. But, you know, sometimes I like to surprise her. I don’t want her to go and get all conceited and stuff.

Sandy says he’ll look at the report and make some calls and see what he can do. Sandy goes home and tells Kirsten. Sandy asks who this ‘uncle’ Shaun even is. Kirsten says he’s a consultant. Sandy meets with drunk Uncle Shaun to discuss his case. Sandy nails Shaun down on the fact that the guy whose room he ‘randomly’ stumbled into was actually a guy in the lumber business who was in town to negotiate something with the Newport Group’s chief rival. Sandy guesses that the room he stumbled into had some important documents in it. Uncle Shaun essentially threatens Sandy says that if he ends up sitting down with the DA there’s no telling what he would say (essentially threatening Kirsten). Sandy tells Caleb he won’t take the job and Caleb says that if he doesn’t Kirsten is screwed.

Julie shows up at school for a parent teacher conference and flirts with Luke in the hallway until Jimmy shows up. He acts in a supremely obvious way that they are definitely having sex. After the conference, Julie thanks Jimmy for doing such a great job with Marissa and Julie tells him she’s not seeing Caleb anymore and she’s much happier now. Marissa finally corners Ryan and they commit to being friends. They make plans to hang out after school.

Seth and Summer have sex after school and Seth asks why she ignored him all day at school Summer say she wants their relationship to be private.

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Marissa and Ryan play video games after school and it’s super awkward. Theresa shows up just as Marissa is leaving and things are even MORE weird.

The next day at the Mermaid Inn, Luke and Julie bang o rang. Reality hits when Luke has to go to homeroom and Julie has to help Caitlin with a diorama. He leaves and passes Theresa in the hallway (who doesn’t know who he is). At school, Ryan and Marissa have lunch together and try (and fail) to make things less awkward. She asks where Theresa is staying in town while she’s working and Ryan says at the Mermaid Inn.

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Anna tries to stay out of Seth and Summer’s relationship for an entire 10 seconds before telling Seth that he’s a coward and she can’t let Summer get away with this. He has to take a stand and make a gesture. Seth tells Summer that he will not have sex with her again until he can acknowledge him publicly. Summer says he’ll be crawling back in no time.

Theresa and Ryan take a walk on the beach and discuss their lives. Yawn. Theresa says she and her boyfriend Eddie are taking a break (that’s not what it looked like to me Theresa, looked like you were running away!), and Ryan says that he and Marissa are too. Ryan comes home without Theresa and Eddie is in his driveway. Ryan asks what he’s doing here. Eddie says that he’s looking for Theresa. THey’re engaged and she left without a note. Ryan lies and says he hasn’t seen Theresa.

After Eddie leave, Ryan goes over to Theresa’s hotel and she confesses that Eddie is a good guy, but she’s not sure if she can marry him. She just needs some time to figure it out.

Ryan: What are you doing for dinner?

Theresa: Nothing.

Ryan: And don’t say you’re not hungry, I know you.

Theresa: I didn’t say I wasn’t hungry. I’m starving. Why do you think I’m being such a bitch?

Ryan takes Theresa to his house for dinner. Summer shows up at The Cohens for sex, but Seth remains strong and makes her leave.

Caleb shows up at Julie’s place with flowers and he says he misses her. It’s actually a pretty good scene that can only really be watched. Essentially she says, no thanks. So here you go:

Ryan tells Seth all about this Theresa drama, and when Ryan and Theresa go to the table, Kirsten and Sandy confront Seth about the situation, which he boils down:

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Marissa is sitting on the couch moping, but Jimmy comes in and asks what’s wrong. She tells him about Ryan and her trying to be friends and Jimmy (ONCE AGAIN) gives her terrible advice to take a stand (STOP, JIMMY), and go over there and tell him how you feel. Marissa marches right over and into a very awkward Cohen dinner with Theresa and Ryan both. Telenovela indeed.

The next day Summer apologizes to Anna about how things ended with her and Seth and began with her and Seth. Anna tells SUmmer she doesn’t have to ignore Seth. Anna tells Summer that that Summer is either really evil or something else is going on. Summer confesses that she doesn’t know why SEth likes her. He’s way smarter, they have nothing in common and Summer is worried that he will get bored with her. THen when everyone knows they’re dating then everyone will know when he breaks up with her. Sounds like she needs a GRAND GESTURE OF LOVE.

Ryan goes to Eddie’s work to tell him that he did see Theresa. Ryan says he doesn’t know if he loves Theresa, but Eddie says that he does and he wants to take care of her. Eddie says Ryan can either help convince Theresa to get back together with him, or get ready for fight for her, because he’s not giving up on her. Julie calls Luke for a booty call at the Mermaid Inn and Marissa goes to the same hotel to talk to Theresa about Ryan.

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In one of the most memorable scenes of The OC, Summer is at her kissing booth when Seth gets up and makes his gesture. He makes everyone leave and stands up on the kissing booth declaring his love for her. Summer gets up and they make up and make out. Awwwww.

Theresa calls Eddie, but while she’s waiting for him to come to the phone Ryan shows up. They make out and presumably dooooo itttttt (this is relevant later). I give this episode 5 yawns out of 5 yawns.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Something Pretty” by Patrick Park

Best Quote:

Julie: I’m Marissa’s mother and you’re a student at this school. We can’t do this.

Luke: You mean it’s over?

Julie: No. I mean, in the hallway. I’ll see you tonight.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Again Theresa is kind of there? So just her.

Weird 2004 thing:

These hats? Why did we like these hats in the early 2000s?! See below for more.

Best Fashion Statement: