Television

CinemAbysmal’s Best of 2017 – Movies

2017-12-13 18.07.42.jpg

Well, here we are! We’ve come to the end of another year, and the hosts of CinemAbysmal: The Podcast are here to round up their favorites. We’ve included some surprises, like some stuff showed on (gasp) television! Amazing writers and directors are choosing this medium over Hollywood lately, so get over it. Anyway, enjoy the picks and let us know if you agree with the selections or want to let us know about any of yours!

Holly Hill

10. Logan Lucky

9. Thor: Ragnarok

8. Guardians of the Galaxy 2

7. Logan

6. It

legion

5. Legion (FX)

4. Ladybird

3. Baby Driver

2. Blade Runner 2049

dunkirk

1. Dunkirk

 

Eric Lemons

10. Baby Driver

While I will contend that this film is style packed on to very little substance, the style is enough to carry this fucking joy of a film. Ansel Inglberghumperdink kills it, though every shot looks like a different actor. Wright is the king of this kind of movie and a heist flick is always welcome in the Lemons Casa.

9. Life

This is a brutal fucking film that takes the Alien film and turns it on its microscopic head. Boasting a boring title and a lackluster ad campaign, this film snuck under many noses as just more space peril, but the stellar cast and nihilistic viewpoint thrive in this earth-shattering, intense horror sci-fi flick.

8. Raw

Sure it is French and not as fucked as we could imagine a French horror being, but the thrill of this film comes from the humanity within it. Focusing on a vet student with a lust for human flesh, we see the making of a monster in her most vulnerable and interesting state: maturation.

7. Logan Lucky

Soderbergh is officially king of making films better than they have to be in  this rural heist movie; a genre that produces at least one interesting film a year. The film is funny, inventive, and builds around a story of idiots making smart moves.

6. It

Pennywise is back in this 80s remake that feels fresh and new, despite rehashing the same King notes down the line.

kong-skull-island-1029-resized

5. Kong: Skull Island

A frolicking flick for fans of 70s creature horror and Vietnam action fare. A nice mix of old school fun and new school aesthetics bring out the best in a revival of the Kong series.

4. John Wick 2

Easily the most fun I had watching a film all year. Non-stop action pours out and rubs against your legs in a manner that would be creepy if it weren’t so beautiful.

3. The Bad Batch

KEY-AH-NEW! We get more Keanu as he plays a minor villain (?) in a story of a girl caught between warring factions in a dystopic wasteland. Cast, thrills, and story is a lovely morality tale in a land without morality.

2. Blade Runner 2049

Denis Villanueve fucks us all real hard and good in bringing to life the future of Ridley Scott’s world in a film that is brilliant on its own before blasting your mind brain apart with its connections to the 1985 classic.

ghost

1. A Ghost Story

Every couple years comes a film that blows your heart apart and depicts some epiphany about the world around us. It changes the way you speak to your loved ones and the way you see yourself. A Ghost Story is that film 100 times over. A triumph unlike anything else.

 

Nick Spanjer

Just Missed the Cut:

  • Kong: Skull Island
  • Wonder Woman
  • Silence
  • Thor: Ragnarok
  • Okja

10. The Bad Batch

As far as straight-up coolness goes, no film matched this one in 2017. Between the literal trippy scenes, the music, and the jaw-dropping cinematography, this almost alternate dimension, post-apocalyptic thrill ride is sure to quench any action fiend’s thirst. Plus, Jim Carrey being weird as fuck.

9. Marjorie Prime

Holy shit. This is one crazy good flick. Jon Hamm is a hologram. Tim Robbins is at his best since The Shawshank Redemption. Geena Davis’ performance will tear your heart out. If you’re easily upset by dementia and Alzheimer’s in film, this one will probably get to you. It’s a little too indie to catch any awards action, but if I had a vote, I’d be all over this little wonder.

8. A Ghost Story

Oof. Speaking of having your heart torn out. Yeah, yeah, Casey Affleck is an asshole. Don’t fear, though. He spends most of the film under an actual bed sheet. That is beside the point of this incredible movie, though. Casual movie watchers beware: this is not a horror film. There’s hardly any dialogue for long stretches of time. But what it says about us as humans and the mark we leave on those we love is just heart-wrenching. Absolutely beautiful movie.

7. The Big Sick

I finally got around to watching this movie today after hearing about it nonstop for the last year. Oh man. I really dig Woody Allen films, and though this movie reminded me of Allen’s golden age in the late 70’s, it’s something entirely different. With that signature Apatow feel, this true life story between Nanjiani and wife Emily Gordon is funny as hell at times, and gut-wrenching at others. Also, they could not have gotten a better cast together for this. Zoe Kazan is amazing, Ray Romano is hilarious, Holly Hunter kills it, and god damn. Who knew Kumail Nanjiani could carry a film in a lead role? Also, Michael Fucking Showalter directed this! Looking forward to his new career path. Upsetting to see this got snubbed at the Golden Globes, but I recommend this one for anyone that’s enjoyed any Judd Apatow or Woody Allen films.

6. Legion (FX)

I know. It’s TV. But fuck, watch these 8 ‘episodes’ (creator/god Noah Hawley calls them ‘Chapters’) all together and it’s one of the coolest movies you’ll ever see. Yes, it’s Marvel. But it’s nothing like you’ll ever see in that universe. The music is incredible and the cinematography is one of my favorites in anything that I’ve ever seen. I’m fairly sure I watched the seventh chapter four times, and it’s absolutely thrilling to watch. Speaking of snubs, where the hell is Aubrey Plaza’s nomination? Seriously though, check this out if you haven’t yet. It’s essential.

LOGAN

5. Logan

Wow, man. I waited too long to see this one. I love Westerns, and this – though it’s a Marvel film – is one of the best Westerns I’ve ever seen. There’s no cowboys, but there’s pretty much everything else. I really dig James Mangold’s 3:10 to Yuma and Cop Land, and the Rated R feel is perfect in this. It’s different than Deadpool, as much of this film is not funny at all, but the violence seems to never let up. I think Patrick Stewart delivers one of the best performances of his career, not to mention Hugh Jackman’s stellar and heartfelt spin as Wolverine. I know that Disney just power-grabbed Fox, but I’m really hoping we’ll get more R-rated superhero flicks. We deserve it.

4. Get Out

There’s not much to say about this flick that hasn’t already been said. So instead, I’ll just tell you how it made me feel. I have never been more uncomfortable sitting in a movie theater. At times, Jordan Peele’s funny side shows, but it’s more like nervous laughter than anything else. Peele designed the film this way, knowing white dudes all over the country were going to be watching it. I sunk lower and lower in my chair as the movie progressed, and though the movie isn’t particularly scary, the chills are incredibly effective in other ways. One of the better metaphorical film packages I’ve ever seen. Jordan Peele directing is going to be pretty damn awesome for years.

3. It

I really don’t like going to movie theaters, but I couldn’t pass this one up. So I went twice. Pennywise has been in my life since I was a kid, and I just read the book again last summer to refresh myself for the film. Though I like to fantasize what the first part of this two-headed monster could have been with Fukanaga at the helm, I think Muschietti did a damn fine job bringing history’s most horrifying clown to life. One of the most important things to remember with Pennywise is that It is not just a clown. It’s an interdimensional being out of time as we know it, and this film captures that perfectly. Not to mention, holy shit, some of the finest kid acting I’ve ever seen. I love this damn movie and can’t wait for Part Two.

2. Blade Runner 2049

I noticed that all three of us made this our second favorite film of the year. And if it weren’t for the next one, it would have been my favorite by far. I really dig the original movie, but everyone knows that it’s got its share of problems. Not 2049. This movie is perfect in every single way. Gosling was the perfect choice as the lead, his performance muted, yet commanding. Ford is great as an older Deckard, but the performances are just a small part of this gigantic event. The music, cinematography, story – everything is absolute perfection in this. From beginning to end, I was floored in its scope. Villenueve may be the greatest living director we have…but he’ll have to wait for this next guy to leave the throne first.

tp

1. Twin Peaks: The Return (Showtime)

It’s not technically a movie. I know. But fuck off. It is filmed like a movie, and it’s the weirdest, most fucked up, absolutely beautiful thing we’re ever going to get in a theater or a television set. I’ve been waiting for a return to Twin Peaks for most of my life (not to mention a return from David Lynch doing anything), and now that I’ve finished this round, I don’t think I could be more satisfied. No, it wasn’t the same Twin Peaks. Like, even a little. But what we got instead was David Lynch free to do whatever the fuck he wanted for 18 hours and it is the most batshit insanity he’s ever produced. It’s violent, maddening, ridiculous, beautiful – just one of the craziest things that has ever been produced in any medium. I love that Showtime did this and hope it opens doors for other creative geniuses. Kyle Maclachlan turns in one of the greatest performances of not just his career, but television and film history as not just Dale Cooper, but three brand new characters. And don’t even get me started on Part Eight. This is the greatest hour I’ve ever seen on television, and may be the best and most Lynch piece that Lynch has done in his illustrious career. Fight me. I could legitimately go on for hours about his glorious cinematic event, and if you know me personally, you’ve probably caught some of it already. I’ll leave it here, though: we’re never going to get anything as insane as this again. So if you get a chance, sit down for a weekend and crush this. It’s the best and craziest “movie” you’ll ever see.

Advertisements

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME SEVENTEEN: S01: E17 – THE RIVALS

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME SEVENTEEN: S01: E17 – THE RIVALS

oc2

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seventeen – Season One: Episode Seventeen – The Rivals

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

L6nufKn.jpg

Recap:

The look on Ryan’s face says it all here and I’ll refer to it again in a moment. The kids are back at school. I say kids because they’re supposed to be 16, even though they look 21 and I say back at school because they are back at school. You know that thing they sometimes go to in between new years parties, fake OD’s, concerts and time away in Palm Springs.

Seth: You did accuse a guy of faking a suicide attempt

Ryan: No, I didn’t I just didn’t believe him.

Seth: Hard to believe such blind compassion upset Marissa.

That’s right Ryan and Marissa are on the outs. Oliver’s ‘suicide’ attempt and Ryan’s ‘yeah right’ about it has finally made Marissa choose between Oliver and Ryan. Of course in a friend vs boyfriend way. Because Oliver is clearly someone who just wants to be friends with Marissa. According to Marissa. Who is insane. Seth suggests Ryan make peace with Oliver and try to be his friend. He tells Marissa that since Oliver is her friend, he will try to be Oliver’s friend. He promises he’ll try to be cool with it and he does a pretty good job for about FIVE seconds until Oliver shows up at school. Guess what? He’s the new transfer student. Cue to the photo at the top here of Ryan’s face. Now you get it. Oh fucking great.

Oliver: Marissa and I have like the exact same schedule now. What are the odds?

Ryan: Crazy.

I’m sorry is Marissa a fucking moron? Don’t answer that, we all know the answer.

Meanwhile, Seth confides to Ryan that he and Anna never fight and they like all the same things. This makes him wonder if he is dating the female version of himself. Seth and Anna decide that they should like/do different things sometime to avoid this. Also they dress alike. I think Summer’s brother/sister comment is really getting to them.

Sandy meets up with Jimmy to talk about their deal to buy The Lighthouse restaurant. Jimmy can’t believe that Sandy remembers their drunk conversation, but he agrees to go with Sandy to meet with some investors. Sandy puts a down payment on the restaurant and Jimmy is hesitant to sign anything, but at the last minute agrees to and The Lighthouse is suddenly back in business.

Julie shows up at Kirsten’s office asking about the interior design job that the Newport Group is hiring for. Julie has zero experience. Kirsten is hesitant but Julie says she’ll do their first house for free and if Kirsten likes it they can talk more about it. Naturally Julie ruins everything and Kirsten swoops in the to save the day so Caleb won’t find out about it. With Kirsten’s help, Caleb loves the place and hires Julie, much to Kirsten’s dismay.

Seth is the funny friend, right? So when Summer shows up at their lunch group hang out time with a ‘funny’ guy (who isn’t funny at all) named Danny, Seth is immediately jealous.

dannytheoc (1).jpg

Summer’s new hilarious ‘boyfriend’ is pissing Seth off and he and Anna come to school dressed the same again. Seth goes on and on about it to Anna, who realizes that he’s actually jealous of Danny’s relationship with Summer. To prove he’s not jealous he invites Danny to hang out with him after school. Danny asks Seth if he could try to be less funny around Summer. Summer apparently always tells Danny how funny Seth is. This brightens Seth’s mood considerably and he suddenly really likes Danny. He tells Danny he needs to be bigger, and funnier. Essentially he’s trying to make Summer so annoyed with Danny she leaves him. Seth gets his wish the next day as Summer tells him that her and Danny broke up. Anna shows up and her and Seth are wearing the same scarf. Seth looks annoyed. Summer clearly loves Seth and Seth clearly loves Summer. COME ON ALREADY.

Oliver finds Ryan at lunch on a couch and makes small talk about school being hard. Oliver says there was an incident at his old school so he left. Oliver asks Ryan to give him a chance so they can start over, but really he wants to know what the incident was that lead to Oliver leaving his old school. Ryan tells Seth he doesn’t trust Oliver. Seth says he can either go break into the file room at school and find out what that incident was or he can just let it go. Ryan chooses to break into school instead and he gets caught looking at Oliver’s file. We get our first non-white person in in like five episodes when Dr. Kim, the principal, is back to discuss Ryan breaking into the school. Ryan said he found out from the file that Oliver slit his wrists in the bathroom at his old school….over a girl who filed a restraining order. He thinks that he could turn violent on Marissa. Dr. Kim says that’s confidential and Oliver has been rehabilitated. Uh-huh. Ryan gets detention for every day until the honor committee reaches a verdict on what do with him.

Ryan sees Oliver give a piece of paper to Marissa, who puts it in her locker. Seth and Ryan meet up in the pool house and Seth asks if Ryan learned his lesson. Ryan has not. He will not let this go. He shows Seth the letter that he’s already taken out of her locker. He says he hasn’t read it, and Seth tells him to put it back. Seth says Ryan is acting scary. Ryan says that Oliver is scary. Ryan says he’ll put the letter back. Seth leaves and Ryan reads the letter. It says that he can’t live without her and Oliver loves her. Seth says if Marissa finds out he took the letter they are finished as a couple.

Ryan almost gets away with everything until Dr. Kim intervenes. She sits Marissa down and says she’s worried about a transfer student that has a close relationship with Marissa and might be unstable. Marissa says she’s aware of Oliver’s issues. Dr. Kim says she’s talking about Ryan. Oh THANKS BITCH. Now we know who to blame when all of this shit finally comes to a head.

Ryan gets out of detention only to find Marissa waiting. Unsurprisingly she is pissed and Ryan says he broke into the school for her protection because he was worried about her (okay I guess that sounds a little crazy). Ryan says Oliver is obsessed with her. Marissa denies it because she’s oblivious. Ryan says he knows for a fact because of the letter in her locker. Marissa says that letter isn’t meant for her. It’s meant for Oliver’s ex girlfriend, Natalie. He wants to get back together with her and he wanted Marissa to read the letter first. Oh if that wasn’t a planted trap from Oliver I don’t know what was. Marissa breaks up with Ryan because now she doesn’t trust him. Good!

The next day Oliver shows up and tells Ryan he heard about about happened. Ryan apologizes to Oliver and says he was wrong about him.

Oliver: Did you think I came here for Marissa? Because I’m in love with her?

Ryan: Yeah I know, I…it was crazy.

Oliver: *shurgs* Here’s the deal Ryan and it’s nothing personal. Marissa and I we just connect.

Oliver goes on a long speech about his true confession to Ryan of being an obsessed stalker psycho.

0f60a8e0-0e20-0133-f4cb-0e18518aac2f.png

Ryan: I’m not going to let this happen.

Oliver: At this point who will believe you? Walk away, you have a chance to make something of yourself. Don’t blow it all over some chick you’re not going to care about in ten years.

Ryan lasts about two more seconds until he punches Oliver three times in the face on school property. He looks insane as he’s held back and screams at Oliver to stay away from her. So that’s at least a suspension for Ryan who now has no girlfriend and an insane person stalking his ex. Good times on The OC.

Best Song of the Episode:

“The Spoils Of The Spoiled” by The New Amsterdams

Best Quote:

“Ryan, I am no girl, although I did spend several summers at Camp Tuckahoe being called such, but maybe you’re jealousy is getting in the way.” – Seth Cohen

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Dr. Kim, coming in and giving us some color! You go girl.

Weird 2004 thing:

Seth mentions to Summer that he has a bunch of Jon Stewarts Daily Show on Tivo if she ever wants to come over and watch. Today, Trevor Noah hosts the Daily Show.

Best Fashion Statement:

Me too Summer, me too. Stop wearing scarfs in Orange County. It’s like a constant 75 degrees.

1.PNG

Obvious Reasons to NOT trust Oliver Trask:

3.PNG

  1. He knows who you are even though you have no friends or places in common
  2. He knows your medical history
  3. He lives in a hotel
  4. Anna says her parents know the parents of the guy who’s throwing the party, but she doesn’t know who Oliver is.
  5. He says his girlfriend lives long-distance so you’ll probably never get to meet her. Super convenient.
  6. He gives you ‘come make out with me’ eyes on new years even though he knows you have a boyfriend.
  7. His name isn’t on the list for backstage passes at the front door but he meets you in back to get you in
  8. His girlfriend Natalie never shows up when he says she will (spoiler, she doesn’t exist)
  9. He makes angry phone calls about cocaine then tries to buy some off an undercover cop and gets arrested
  10. He watches you and your friends creepily from outside your house.
  11. He says his parents and Natalie will be in Palm Springs, then they don’t show up
  12. He tries to run out off the golf course by causing you to die in a golf cart accident
  13. He breaks a plate and freaks out when you call him on his shit
  14. He fakes a suicide attempt so he can make sure he has your full attention
  15. He shows up as a transfer student at your school with zero warning (because at thing point he’s probably stalking you)
  16. He makes sure you and him have the exact same schedule
  17. He slit his wrists in the high school bathroom over a girl and she filed a restraining order
  18. He tricks you into believing all of this is your fault before he coerces you into punching him several times

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME THIRTEEN: S01: E13 – THE BEST CHRISMUKKAH EVER

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME THIRTEEN: S01: E13 – THE BEST CHRISMUKKAH EVER

oc2

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Eight – Season One: Episode Thirteen – The Best Chrismukkah Ever

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

1

Recap:

Welcome to Chrismukkah and yes I know it’s July so just relax. We’re doing this thing six months early. Chrismukkah is one of the essential things that makes me love this show. It’s the holiday season and Ryan has never really done the holiday thing, but Seth however is a seasoned expert. Since Kirsten celebrates Christmas and Sandy celebrates Hanukkah, Seth grew up celebrating both and is kind of obsessed with the entire thing.

Seth explains: “It’s eight days of presents followed by one day of many presents.”

The next day, Seth is wrapping the same exact gifts for both Summer and Anna. Ryan says he’s going to have to choose soon, but Seth refuses to do so because that would ruin Chrismukkah. They go into the kitchen where Sandy announces that Chrismukkah is ruined.

Caleb decides he wants to bring that whole court case to trial rather than settle so Sandy and Kirsten will have to spend all week preparing for the case.

Jimmy has a job interview and Marissa tells him she wants to skip Christmas because holidays make people depressed. Jimmy asks if she’s depressed because she was supposed to go to therapy after her OD in Tijuana and that never happened, but don’t worry Marissa is due for another mental breakdown to move the plot along *whisper screams ‘OLIVER, OLIVER, OLIVER’*.

Seth and Ryan are discussing a big Christmas party that the Newport Group is throwing and how he invited both Anna and Summer but he doubts it will be an issue. Then Anna and Summer both show up at the same time asking what time the party is. Ryan gives him a ‘fucking told you so’ look. Marissa complains to Ryan about the holidays and after school they go to the mall to shop for Christmas gifts. Insert random mall shopping montage.

Season1episode13lkj.gif

Marissa says she can’t afford anything at the mall and they leave. Then she gets caught in the parking lot for shoplifting and Ryan looks betrayed about it for some reason. SHE GOT PROBLEMS YO! Or did you forget she tried to kill herself just because we didn’t talk about it for like five episodes? Julie comes over to yell at Marissa and Jimmy and basically makes everything worse. Julie schedules a therapy appointment for Marissa *whisper screams ‘OLIVER, OLIVER, OLIVER’*.

Seth asks how the mall was:

Ryan tells him about Marissa shoplifting and Seth gives Ryan a stocking with his name on it. Ryan is clearly touched and it clearly made me cry like a baby.

Kirsten goes to visit Caleb and tell him she’s taking a Christmas vacation and she’s not going to help him with the case for the next two weeks. She goes home and starts working because she’s very bad at not working. She finds a document in her files that concerns her. Sandy comes home for the party excited that Caleb asked for more money and his firm agreed and they settled the deal. Kirsten hands Sandy the document that concerned her earlier knowing that she will probably get fired for it. Sandy says it changes everything. They go to the party essentially to confront Caleb and have more DRAMAAAZZZ.

Anna shows up to Seth’s house and then Summer shows up. Both are peeved because they said they would all meet there and it breaks their weird Switzerland code of being completely neutral about their feelings.

Thebestchhrismukkahever

At Marissa’s, Ryan tells Marissa that he thinks the therapy is a good idea and then Marissa loses her mind about him thinking it’s a good idea because she’s insane. Ryan goes to grab Marissa’s things and she sneaks and entire bottle of liquor into her purse, which I swear the only purses she owns are ones that fit entire liquor bottles in them and nothing else. At the party, Julie and Marissa fight in between an awkward Ryan. Marissa storms off to go chug down some booze and Ryan and Julie both find common ground in their distaste for the holidays.

Sandy finds Caleb and hands over the document Kirsten gave him. It’s a geological survey that Caleb did of the heights and didn’t turn over to Sandy’s office. Apparently, the heights is seismologically unsound so the entire area isn’t insurable and worthless. Yet, he settled an agreement earlier having Sandy’s company pay him millions of dollars to not build on the property, which it turns out he wouldn’t have been able to do anyway. Sandy says he wants to buy back the heights for a dollar. Caleb has no choice but to do it and he does it very publicly in front of everyone at the party. It makes him look generous AF but Sandy is loving it anyway.

Anna gives Seth his present. It’s a comic book she drew of him and his plastic horse. It’s creative and smart and funny. Thumbs up Anna.

Seth finds Summer and she takes him into a room to give him his present, and it’s honestly (not hard) to tell which one he liked better.

Season1episode13sd

Anna walks in on them and feels like a child for making a comic book and Summer feels like ‘wonder whore’. They say they’re done playing games and Seth needs to choose one of them. He tells them both he wants to be their friend and they say they don’t want to be his friend. So he’s gotta DECIDE.

Marissa comes back from the bathroom drunk AF wanting to dance and make out with Ryan. Ryan says it ain’t cool. She passed out in her driveway and he took care of her, then in Mexico and he says it’s like his Mother all over again. Fuck Ryan. GTFO of that relationship STAT. Marissa freaks out and tries to leave, but Ryan tells her she can’t drive out of here, she gets in the car anyway and backs into someone. Ryan drives her home but apparently she can’t wait to pour up again so she opens her bottle in the car and loses the cap to her bottle so she can’t put it back in her purse.

Ryan is like WTF yo problem B. It’s the perfect time for a cop to pull them over! That broken taillight from Marissa being a terrible drunk driver has come back to haunt them. The cop almost asks Marissa to get out of the car because she looks faded to all hell. Luckily he gets a call and has to let them off with a warning. The cop leaves and Ryan gets out of the car, searches frantically for the liquor bottle at Marissa’s feet and throws it off a cliff. Then he slams the passenger door a billion times, which scares Marissa and he says good because she’s scaring him.

Fuck that’s shitty. Man I hate Marissa.

The next morning Seth tells Ryan about his night of women and Ryan tells him about Marissa’s fucked upness.

Seth: “Hey I really like Marissa, she’s making life interesting for you.”

Interesting is one word for it, Seth…shitty is another.

Ryan reiterates that he hates Christmas, and Seth says really it’s a Chrismukkah miracle. The old Ryan would have been busted for sure, but since Ryan had Jesus and Moses working for him this time around he got off with a warning. For some reason Ryan takes this to heart.

Caleb comes over to yell at Kirsten, but ends it on a positive note saying that it was clearly a good business decision. Ryan tells Sandy he’s going to go with Marissa to the therapist and Sandy suggests he just be a kid for once and enjoy the holiday with this new family. Right on Sandy. “You’re here with us now, you don’t have to be the parent anymore.” EXCEPT THAT BECAUSE HE DIDN’T GO WITH HER WE NOW HAVE THE PROBLEM OF *whisper screams ‘OLIVER, OLIVER, OLIVER’*.

Marissa shows up to her appointment and a boy her age is across from her. She gets nervous and stands up to leave, but then the boy says it took him three times to walk through that door on his first visit. He says he knows Marissa because she organizes events at the school. He says he goes to Pacific school. So that’s weird, why does he know of her if they don’t go to the same school. I’d like to introduce a segment down below called “Obvious Reasons to NOT trust Oliver Trask”. It will be a temporary segment until the Oliver episodes are over (which if you couldn’t tell by my wrestlemania whisper scream, are some of my favorite episodes). Oliver introduces himself and asks what is wrong with Marissa. He analyzes that Marissa isn’t an alcoholic -yet, but she’s probably OD’d at least once on muscle relaxers…Marissa says it was painkillers and she is somehow clearly impressed by this information he has guessed about her. OR HE HEARD IT FROM SOMEONE SINCE HE KNOWS OF YOU MARISSA. GOD YOU ARE DUMB. Marissa goes into her therapist’s office clearly excited about the prospect of a new friend in Oliver. Oh you are in for some shit Marissa gurrrrl.

At The Cohen’s, Ryan goes to hang up his stocking and the family looks on with impressive tears in their eyes. How cute. Hold on tight for the next few episodes though because we are here: THE OLIVER EPISODES.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Maybe This Christmas” by Ron Sexsmith

Best Quote:

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Again, none.

Weird 2003 thing:

If this show aired today, Summer’s Wonder Woman costume would have been from the recent film. Instead it just looks dated albeit, classic.

Best Fashion Statement:

duh.

Obvious Reasons to NOT trust Oliver Trask:

  1. He knows who you are even though you have no friend or places in common
  2. He knows your medical history

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWELVE: S01: E12 – THE SECRET

oc2

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twelve – Season One: Episode Twelve – The Secret

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

 

http://tvmegasite.net/images/primetime/oc/guide/secret.jpg

Recap:

It’s time for a perfect opening sequence. The kind that makes you fall in love with the show if you weren’t already. Seth comes into the kitchen feeling sick the Monday after Thanksgiving. Ryan asks if he has the Summer flu, and if he might need some Anna-biotics. Clearly this dude does not want to face his women. Kirsten comes in a few moments later deciding she doesn’t feel good either, but in reality she doesn’t want to go yogalates with Julie and her ‘friends’ because she got drunk at Thanksgiving and she’s sure Julie has already told everyone she has a drinking problem. Ryan and Sandy yuck it up at the two because for once they haven’t done anything wrong. Kirsten tells them to enjoy it while they can because knowing them it won’t last long. Also, yogalates.

It’s truly one of the great openings on the show and I recommend you watch it here:

At school, Ryan and Luke get teamed up to do a project. Awkward. Summer and Anna bond over their mutual dislike of Seth right now. They form a strange alliance pretending to be friends to let Seth know that they are both so over it. Ryan shows up at Luke’s house to find his younger brothers play fighting. Luke’s Dad comes home and his Mom makes them a snack. It’s all very humanizing for Luke in Ryan’s eyes. Luke isn’t a bad guy, he’s just kinda a douche. Luke shows that he’s actually kinda smart too. He has a bunch of ideas for their project and he says they can use his Dad’s projection system at his office at the car dealership and they can head over there in a bit. They show up at the dealership, but Luke’s Dad isn’t there. They mess around with the cars for a bit until Luke’s Dad shows up his business partner Gus. The adults don’t see them and so they start making out. Because Luke’s Dad is a closet homosexual. Ryan and Luke take off but not before his Dad sees them and Luke begs Ryan not to tell anyone.

1.PNG

Sandy is helping Jimmy with this legal case again. So we’re back to that. Sandy says he’s going to have to convince Julie to sell the house because she can’t afford to live there if he’s in jail. Jimmy calls Julie who refuses to sell and she thinks that he deserves to go to jail. She’s not super wrong, just super bitchy about it.

At yogalates the bitches are all up on Kirsten about being drunk at Thanksgiving. Kirsten isn’t having any of that shit though and confronts Julie right away. “If we’re really all friends here, why don’t you start acting like one.”

The next morning Marissa asks Ryan how it went with Luke. Ryan tells Marissa about Luke’s Dad and swears Marissa to secrecy. At school, Ryan asks Luke when they will finish the project. Luke says he’ll finish it himself and then calls Seth a queer. Cool. Seth goes to class only to find Anna. He tries to talk to her and she does not want to hear it. Summer walks in and ignores Seth to chat with Anna. Seth doesn’t understand what kind of hell he is living in.

At the second yogalates class, Kirsten asks Julie is she’s okay because she heard about them maybe having to sell the house. Julie says they aren’t selling the house. Kirsten says she can help find a new house for them or her father, Caleb, could for her since they’re so grossly chummy. Julie confesses that Caleb and her broke up. The yogalates bitches show up and say they heard some juicy gossip this morning from one of the girls who got her car detailed at Luke’s Dad’s dealership this morning. I bet it’s super gay news.

Jimmy and Sandy meet again for lunch and Jimmy thanks him for all his help. Then he sticks his foot in it by telling he’s ESPECIALLY grateful because of that time he tried to make out with his wife. Sandy now hates Jimmy and is mad at Kirsten for not telling him. DOESN’T MEAN YOU DIDN’T HAVE THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO YOU WITH RACHEL AND DIDN’T TELL KIRSTEN!!!! Jump off dat high horse. Sandy goes home to confront Kirsten and nothing gets resolved there except now they’re fighting.

Meanwhile news of Luke’s Dad is spreading like wildfire. All of the parents know, and they told their kids and by the end of the day Luke’s getting shit from all sides. Ryan thinks Marissa told someone, Marissa thinks Ryan told someone, and Luke thinks Ryan told someone. Really it was just that yogalates bitch at the dealership. The next day Luke isn’t in class and Marissa and Ryan are fighting. Anna and Summer are pretending to be best friends until Seth confronts them both and apologizes in a very sincere and kind way that makes them both like him again. This makes Summer and Anna not like each other again because it looks like they’re back to being competitive.

On the third day of yogalates Kirsten and Julie ditch out because the bitches won’t shut up about Luke’s Dad. They go get fried food and beer. My kind of women. They bitch about Caleb and talk about how they hate that he calls Kirsten, Keekee and that he calls Julie, Juju. Kirsten makes a good speech about how Caleb is trying to replace her mother, but he doesn’t know how. How he just needs to be happy with someone for the time he has left. Julie comes by later with flowers for Kirsten thanking her for her saying what she said. Caleb called and Julie repeated Kirsten’s sentiments back to him as her own and now they’re back together. Kirsten’s face is priceless. Julie says Caleb is going to buy her house as an investment so Jimmy won’t go to jail and she’ll have a place to live.

Summer finds Seth and says that was the first apology she’s ever had from a boy and it was the nicest. She asks what Seth is doing Saturday. Guess they’re going out! Oh wait, now Anna is telling Seth she also liked his apology and asks what HE is doing Saturday night. He goes with honesty and tells her about his date with Summer. Anna asks what he’s doing Friday night. Apparently he’s going out with Anna. Oh Seth, you never learn.

Ryan goes to Luke’s after school, but Marissa answers the door. They’re both there to comfort Luke. Ryan walks into a very somber household from the one he saw previously. Luke takes off when he sees his Dad and Ryan and Marissa follow. Luke gets drunk at the baseball field and Marissa and Ryan listen to him monologue. Some dudes show up while Marissa is out in the car getting her jacket. He calls Luke a fag and Luke and Ryan double sucker punch the dudes. Then the rest of the dudes show up and they proceed to get their ass kicked.

Capture.PNG

At the house, Sandy is asking Seth to ask Kirsten things because he refuses to speak to her. It’s not awkward at all. Then Marissa, Ryan, and Seth show up.

Marissa and Ryan make up and Luke’s Dad comes to pick him up. He says he loves his wife, his kids, and he never wanted to hurt anyone. He says he should just disappear. Sandy says he shouldn’t disappear, it’s the worst thing he could do right now. Luke overhears and goes home with his dad. Kirsten and Sandy make up.

The next day at school Luke, Marissa, Ryan, and Seth all show up together. Luke says he’ll always be the guy with the gay dad, Ryan says he’ll always be the guy who burned a house down, Marissa says she’ll always be the girl that tried to kill herself, and Seth says he’ll always be Seth Cohen. Can’t change what other people think about you.

Stay tuned for next week’s OC Sunday because it’s CHRISMUKKAH IN JULY!

Best Song of the Episode:

“We Used To Be Friends” by The Dandy Warhols

This song plays throughout the episode and it’s just super perfect for each scene.

Best Quote:

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Zip, Zilch, None.

Weird 2003 thing:

Luke shows Ryan a new Ferrari that has just come into his Dad’s lot. It has a new sound system in it and when Luke shows Ryan the set up it’s got a CD Player in it, which is pretty dope.

 

Best Fashion Statement:

Nothing stands out. Actually a pretty tame fashion episode considering Anna was in it.

THE O.C. SUNDAYS – VOLUME ELEVEN – SEASON ONE: EPISODE ELEVEN – THE HOMECOMING

oc2

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Eleven – Season One: Episode Eleven – The Homecoming

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

1

Recap:

It’s Thanksgiving and – wait that was quick, didn’t school JUST start? Whatever. It’s Thanksgiving and Kirsten is trying to cook, which isn’t a good sign considering her collection of take out menus. She wants Ryan to have a nice Thanksgiving in the house. Seth begs her to reconsider because Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday (remember that he said this, because it’s not).

Kirsten: “Are there pans? Do we have pans in this kitchen?”

Sandy: “Not inspiring a lot of confidence, honey.”

The phone rings and it’s a collect call from prison from Trey, Ryan’s brother who got him into this whole mess. Trey wants him to come visit him in jail. Today. On Thanksgiving. Apparently no one has been to see him since he’s been in DA JOINT.

Ryan says he’ll go, but he’s hesitant because he knows Trey will want something from him. Marissa is off to spend Thanksgiving with her Mom and Caleb, much to her disappointment. Seth asks for Ryan’s advice, telling him that Summer told him she liked him, but he also likes Anna now too.

Jimmy is having Thanksgiving at The Cohen’s and he brings Marissa by before she has to be over at her Mom’s house next door. Sandy has invited Rachel to Thanksgiving in hopes that her and Jimmy will hit it off. Rachel is angry because Jimmy is felon, and she thinks Sandy just doesn’t want to deal with what’s actually going on between them. Sandy says there is NOTHING going on. Fuck off Rachel, you’re in a married man’s home that his wife invited you to. Maybe stop acting like such a whore for five seconds. Marissa offers to go with Ryan to visit Trey as she wants to see where he grew up. He refuses, clearly not wanting her to see Chino. He gets in the car to take off only to find Marissa in the passenger seat, she lies and says her Mom said it was okay.

At the jail, Trey (still played by pilot episode Trey, they trade up for a better model later), and Ryan visit while Marissa sits alone at a table. Worthwhile for you to come Marissa. Trey is impressed with how Ryan is doing, and finally admits that he owed six grand to some dudes in Chino the night he was arrested. The people he owes the money to have friends in jail that will keep beating him up until he repays them. He wants Ryan to pick up a stolen car to drop off at a junk shop to pay back to debt Trey owes. In the car, he tells Marissa this and she insists on coming with.

Back at the house, Anna shows up and is immediately very impressive in Sandy and Kirsten’s eyes. Seth starts to rethink his crush on Summer….until Summer shows up. She doesn’t want to spend Thanksgiving at her house so she was hoping to crash Marissa’s Thanksgiving only Marissa isn’t there. She wants to talk about the whole ‘I like Seth Cohen’ thing, but you know ANNA is there now. Her arrival is quickly preluded with Julie and Caleb showing up because their caterer’s truck broke down.

Julie isn’t super thrilled Jimmy is around, and Anna isn’t super thrilled that Summer has showed up. Julie also wants to know where in the hell Marissa is because (surprise!) she didn’t tell her she was going to visit the Chino jail today. Seth takes Summer to the pool house hoping to sneak her in under Anna’s nose. Summer quickly makes out with him while Anna is making sweet potatoes. None of this is awkward at all.

Marissa and Ryan show up at Theresa’s house, an old flame of Ryan’s who is then introduced to Marissa. Awkward. They’re here to pick up that stolen car that Arturo, Theresa’s brother, has out back. The house is in full Thanksgiving swing and although it’s a more homely atmosphere, it’s clearly filled with love and family. Theresa admits to Marissa that she’s upset because Ryan just left. He didn’t call them or tell them where he was, she’s upset because she feels like maybe she didn’t know Ryan at all. Arturo tries to talk Ryan out of taking the car, saying that Trey isn’t worth it.

At the Cohen’s, Seth takes Anna to his room as he keeps Summer locked away in the pool house not wanting either girl to know they’re here. He makes out with Anna and basically is slowly becoming a jerk. He calls Ryan to let him know about his dilemma and Ryan says he’ll call him when he and Marissa are on their way home. Seth tells him her Mom is looking for her and then accidently loudly shouts to the entire room that Marissa is in Chino. Julie is pissed and Kirsten is drunk.

Everyone is fighting in the kitchen. Sandy and Rachel against Caleb over the wetlands, Julie is fighting with Jimmy, and Kirsten is also fighting with Caleb. Both Anna and Summer get tired of hiding out so they both meet in the kitchen at the same time just as the turkey starts burning. They are both pissed and walk out.

2

Ryan is angry that Marissa lied to him and he asks her to take the car they drove in home while he delivers the stolen car. Ryan delivers the car to some pissed off people who say that the car isn’t enough and he needs to pay interest so they start beating him up. Luckily Marissa shows up just in time in a getaway car. He asks her what she thinks she’s doing, she says she followed him, and he says good idea. They go back to the prison and Ryan tells Trey he’s not going to do anything else for him. Trey gives him permission to forget about him (for now).

Also turns out that Marissa found out from Theresa that Ryan used to do musicals, which she finds adorable.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Orange Sky” by Alexi Murdoch

Best Quote:

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Theresa, Autro, and her mother are Latino and they have lines, but Theresa looks pretty white to me so hard to say.

Weird 2003 thing:

Minus the flip phones in this episode, it could have just as well taken place in 2017.

Best Fashion Statement:

Anna’s bow shirt. Adorbs.

THE O.C. SUNDAYS – VOLUME TEN – SEASON ONE: EPISODE TEN – THE PERFECT COUPLE

oc2

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Ten – Season One: Episode Ten – The Perfect Couple

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

1

Recap:

The episode begins with some pretty heavy making out from Ryan and Marissa. Ryan asks if they can have their first official date together this weekend, but he’s really implying that they should have sex soon. You’ve been dating for like five minutes Ryan. Relax. They continue to make out until Kirsten walks in on them who has clearly NEVER had to deal with this situation before with Seth.

The next morning Kirsten asks Sandy to talk to Ryan about sex in the house. Sandy says that’s not a problem because there is no sex in the house based on his recent experience. Low blow. They’re half joking though and start making out until RYAN comes in and interrupts them. Lotta cock blocking in this house.

At school Seth finds out from Ryan’s implied looks that he’s had sex with multiple girls. Seth is so very behind on the sex thing.

Summer and Marissa talk about Marissa and Ryan maybe having sex soon and Marissa is clearly wanting to take things slow with Ryan.

At work, Rachel makes Sandy work late so he has to cancel his sex date with Kirsten. Kirsten walks into her office to find Julie talking with Caleb. She was there to talk about the Children’s Hospital benefit which was supposed to take place on Julie’s yacht, which she no longer owns. Caleb has offered up his instead.

Ryan, Seth, and Anna talk about what Ryan is going to do for their date. He has no idea and is kind of freaking out. Anna asks Seth to stop talking about Summer so much. Impossible.

Marissa comes home to her Dad’s place to find her Mom waiting. She asks Jimmy and Marissa to come to her stupid benefit. She wants the party to show that The Cooper family is ‘back’ and better than ever. Eye roll. Julie says she wants them all to feel like a family again so I guess she regrets asking for a divorce? Not very likely.

Marissa asks Ryan to cancel all the big plans for their date (he had none), to accompany her on a yacht for the charity kids thing. Marissa thinks her Mom has changed and the whole family could get back together. She says that she needs Ryan there because he is her boyfriend now, which is news to Ryan who’s never really had a girlfriend, just girls he has banged.

The next morning Seth talks to Ryan about how he doesn’t actually talk about Summer that much.

“So get this. Anna thinks all I do is talk about Summer. I mean that’s crazy right?”

“You want me to lie?”

Sandy apologizes for missing his date with Kirsten. He says if their meeting with his firm and her firm goes well today they could both be home by 6. Just in time for boom boom. Kirsten asks if that’s a bribe. This is definitely a conflict of interest. No huge surprise the meeting does not go well. Caleb accuses Sandy of sleeping with Rachel in front of Kirsten. He says since their offer to him sucks they clearly haven’t been working all those late nights, just bangin.

Ryan convinces Seth to take Anna to the yacht charity event. Anna asks if Summer is going to be there, and Seth says he has no idea and doesn’t care. Anna agrees to go. Ryan tells Marissa he’s worried about going to the party because he usually ends up punching someone. Julie asks Marissa to see if Caitlin is ready so she can apologize to Ryan alone. He accepts her apology and they awkwardly hug. Marissa walks in and seems thrilled.

Summer walks up to Seth and Anna wanting to talk to Seth. She makes some joke about missing classes for a clothing sale, and Anna makes a sarcastic remark back.

Summer: “Are you making fun of me, because I can’t tell.”

Anna: “Oh, most of the time, Summer, you do my job for me.”

Summer: “Again, not following.”

Pretty harsh Anna. Summer asks if Seth can catch her up on history tomorrow, and Seth says he can’t cause he’s going to the charity thing with Anna. Summer is clearly upset that they are going together. Summer randomly says she’s going to, with him! Some random polo guy named Chip that she suddenly sees and grabs. Just to make Seth jealous.

Later that night Sandy comes home pretty pissed that Kirsten was talking to her Dad about her relationship with Sandy. She says he’s the only one she can talk to about it and it isn’t her fault he brought it up in a professional setting.

Ryan goes to take out the trash and hears Julie’s doorbell ring. It’s Caleb and they have a quick make out sesh on the porch and Julie sees Ryan watching at the last minute. So clearly the whole family thing is a ruse. Marissa shows up the next day and says she’s really happy and she hopes that her parents get back together.

Sandy is working on a Saturday with Rachel who seems determined to not do any work. She stretches so you can see her entire stomach and every time Sandy tries to bring the conversation back to work, she brings it back to play. She bends over to grab some papers and he does too. They joke that it’s like twister. Rachel basically crawls over to Sandy and tries to make out with him and he turns her down. Good man.

Everyone arrives at the yacht. Seth introduces Anna to his grandfather. Julie tells Ryan to not tell anyone about her and Caleb. Summer shows up with Chip and is clearly very jealous of Anna and Seth.

Chip: “The ocean is like so vast. So endless. I feel so…”

Summer: “Insignificant? Go figure.”

Marissa: “How’s it going with Chip.”

Summer: “Well he’s surprised that the ocean is big. Go smoke another beer Chip.”

This all helps Summer come to her own realization.

Marissa confesses to Ryan that she wants her parents to get back together and it looks like they will. Ryan says they won’t get back together. Marissa doesn’t understand why he can’t be happy for her. Ryan tells her that her Mom is seeing Caleb, which is news to Marissa. Of course this sends Marissa into a downward spiral because she can’t ever just take bad news like an adult and let it go.

Summer grabs Seth at the first opportunity and makes out with him. She says that if Seth tells anyone she’ll kill him.

Julie goes to make a speech about how much money they’ve raised tonight. She sees Marissa and asks her to join them at the front. Marissa grabs the mic and asks the room if they think that Julie and Caleb make the perfect couple. Because they are one! Right in front of her little sister. Nice going. Ryan looks impressed for some reason. Jimmy is pissed and Caitlin announces the winner of the raffle as Sandy and Kirsten. The irony isn’t lost on Kirsten who rolls her eyes at the entire event and the fact that whore face Julie is sleeping with her Dad.

Anna fills Seth in on what he missed while he was making out with Summer. Anna asks where he was and he lies and says he was buying raffle tickets. Marissa says she’s ready for her and Ryan’s first date as the party breaks up.

At home, Kirsten fills Sandy in on the nights events and they finally bannnnnnnng.

Sandy: “So in theory, Julie Cooper could eventually become your step mother.”

Kirsten: “Don’t even say it.”

Ryan and Marissa make out heavily on his bed because I guess that qualifies as a date now.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Strange and Beautiful” by Aqualung

Best Quote:

Kirsten: “You guys ready?”

Seth: “Almost. The girls are peeing.”

Kirsten: “Seth, don’t say pee.”

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

This episode took place on a yacht so there abso-fucking-lutely are no minorities in this episode.

Weird 2003 thing:

Marissa and her Mom reminisce about seeing Catherine Zeta Jones out in LA while they were eating lunch one time. Today most teenagers wouldn’t recognize her or care.

Best Fashion Statement:

Marissa’s fugly dress

The O.C. SUNDAYS – VOLUME NINE – SEASON ONE: EPISODE NINE – THE HEIGHTS

oc2

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Nine – Season One: Episode Nine – The Heights

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

1

Recap:

Now that we are past the drama of last few episodes, it’s time for a filler episode to decide where everyone’s relationships stand. It’s Seth and Ryan’s first day at school! Kirsten and Sandy talk to Seth about how he looks. Is it dope, rad, cute?

Meanwhile, Summer is trying to convince Marissa to go to school because apparently she ‘rules’ it. They talk about a stupid kick off carnival that Marissa is always in charge of throwing as the school’s Social Chair. As a child of public school, what in the world is a social chair?

Jimmy is cooking breakfast, which Marissa of course doesn’t eat because she never eats anything, and he has cooked french toast in the oven.

Jimmy: “New oven, haven’t quite figured out how to make french toast.”

Summer: “Not in the oven would be a good place to start.”

Summer and Marissa show up at school and immediately people start talking shit about Marissa, but it’s all good. Summer is there to back her friend up.

They quickly run into Seth and Ryan. Ryan tries to get Marissa to hang out after school to which she agrees. Seth tries to get Summer to love him and she immediately ignores him. He says he can arrange an empty chair at his lunch table if she wants to join him and she says there’s nothing but empty chairs at his table. However, her mood toward Seth changes when ‘punk’ rocker Anna shows up, back from her summer of sailing and is ready to move the Seth/Summer plot along. Nothing like good competition to make you realize you have feelings! Summer takes off and Anna agrees to help Seth get Summer.

At the house, Kirsten and Sandy make out and are quickly interrupted by Rachel calling Sandy, and Caleb calling Kirsten.

2

At the office, Sandy runs into Rachel who tells him that he needs to get ready to continue to not get some because his next case is defending the Balboa Wetlands. The same wetlands that Kirsten and Caleb are trying to destroy for the Newport Group to build Balboa Heights. DRAAAAMMAAA.

Marissa tries to quit social chair, but Dr. Kim convinces her not to, which means she has to cancel her plans with Ryan after school. Marissa wants to reschedule for the kick off carnival but he says he doesn’t like heights so no ferris wheel for him. We’ll see about that. Ryan is starting to feel a bit out of place. You know besides the fact that he looks like he’s 27 years old and going to high school.

The next day, Sandy asks Ryan how school is going and he laments that everyone seems to have something there except him. Marissa has the social chair, Seth has his women.

Sandy tries to push Ryan to do an extracurricular. Sandy suggests archery or fencing and Seth says that they have a real opportunity here to have an actual athlete in the family with Ryan. Somebody to achieve all that their Jewishness has stopped him from achieving before. Seth suggests soccer. Ryan used to play soccer! Done and done.

Ryan goes to Soccer practice to find out that Luke is the captain. No bueno. Luke corners Marissa after her carnival meeting and Marissa gives him a pretty good piece of her mind. They talk and Luke wants to start over. She is not interested. Ryan goes to meet up with Marissa and sees them talking so he of course misconstrues the entire situation and leaves.

Kirsten finds out that Sandy is going after her company and she is not happy. She says she will try to keep it from her Dad and they will settle it all privately. The next day however, the front page of the paper is talking about the lawsuit. Sandy confronts Rachel who admits she put it there and asks Sandy if his marriage can’t survive this then what kind of marriage is it. RACHEL IS THE WORST.

Kirsten: “Now the entire community knows we are fighting!”

They later half make up when Sandy brings flowers home for Kirsten and they talk about how it’s going to be a long year with this lawsuit, but that they will work it out.

Marissa asks what happened to Ryan after school and he says nothing and she says her meeting went long. Even though they both know she was talking to Luke. Honestly is always the best policy. She says she’ll stop by his soccer practice tonight.

Summer makes Seth be her lab partner, but Anna steps in a says Seth has already promised to be her lab partner. Anna says it’s all part of the plan. Summer looks pissed as hell.

At soccer practice Marissa shows up while Ryan is on the field and she starts talking/laughing with Luke. WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS MARISSA. Ryan gets mad and decides to basically attack Luke on the field. Marissa stops by the pool house that night to ask what happened out there and Ryan admits he saw them talking the other day. They fight like children and she leaves.

Sandy reprimands Ryan for the soccer field incident. “We’re always one mistake away from someone taking you from us… I’d love to see you play, go to some of your games.” MY HEART. The father Ryan never had.

Seth tells Ryan to apologize to Marissa. They go to the kick off carnival with Anna. Seth goes to turn in his tickets and Ryan asks Anna why she’s helping him with Summer. She says that Seth doesn’t see her that way and Ryan says she shouldn’t let that slide.

Ryan sees Marissa get on the ferris wheel but before he can get to her he runs into Luke who he apologizes to. Marissa is about to get on the wheel with Summer when Ryan jumps on to sit next to her. And he’s afraid of heights. Anna pays the guy at the bottom to keep Marissa and Ryan up at the top to let them work it out.

Anna kisses Seth to let him know she likes him. Summer sees it and is clearly jealous. Seth assumes it’s all part of Anna’s plan to get Summer. Poor Anna. Doesn’t she realize Seth and Summer are ride or die? She’ll never win.

At the top of the ferris wheel, Ryan apologizes while freaking out about the height situation and Marissa kisses him to help him forget they’re so high up. The ferris wheel starts moving and the iconic OC scene continues as they go around again and again.

Best Song of the Episode:

“How Good It Can Be” by The 88

Best Quote:

Kirsten: “You know I ask questions in the hopes of eliciting an actual response.”

Seth: “I feel I convey more with a look.”

Kirsten: “Well you look adorable.”

Seth: “No.”

Kirsten: “Cute?”

Seth: “No.”

Kirsten: “Dope?”

Seth: “No!”

Kirsten: “Rad?”

Seth: “No please please stop this is so painful for me.”

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Dr. Kim is back with lines. That’s it.

Weird 2003 thing:

Jimmy talks about how excited he is about getting a landline installed in his new apartment. Things people used to do!

Best Fashion Statement:

Whatever failed xena warrior princess cosplay Anna is attempting here:

3