A RECAP OF THRONES: SEASON EIGHT, EPISODE ONE

MV5BNzM5ZWY4NGQtMjgyNC00YjZmLThmMTItYzUyNDM0OTZmZWNjXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjIyMTc0ODQ@._V1_By Holly Hill (@hollishillis)

First thing’s first: Cool new intro. I love that they’re switching it up this final season. They’re showing the progress of the White Walkers heading south too and that will be fun to track via the intro each new episode. 

Also, I guess we’re giving up episode title names for season eight. So that’s weird.

Let’s start with the south and King’s Landing. Cersei is pregnant and the baby’s daddy once again is her brother. Well since Jamie fucked right on off up to Winterfell (assuming he’s going to go tell Tyrion she aint coming) she’s gotta figure out a way to make this baby legitimate. Enter Euron Greyjoy. And enter he did. Finally, Cersei sends Bron off to murder Tyrion. Will he do it? Probably not. 

Theon finally saves Yara who rightly head butts him, but ultimately forgives him. Theon asks to go to Winterfell to fight and Yara lets him because let’s face it, Theon is not really that useful. He’s probably going to die doing something semi-heroic to redeem himself in the battle for Winterfell. 

Daenery’s shows up at Winterfell to a very hostile North. Sansa particularly aint havin’ any of that shit. Jon and Arya have a super awesome reunion and when Jon tries to joke about how Sansa is being a brat Arya shuts that shit down real quick, which I kind of love. Females empowering females. 

Jamie shows up at Winterfell towards the end and Three Eyed Bran (3EB) is like ‘sup, remember me? I doubt he’ll say much about it though considering he’s told everyone he can this episode that he’s no longer Bran, just the three eyed raven. Fuck we get it Bran. Could you stop making everyone feel so god damn weird all the time? The big question is what will Dany do about the fact that the man who killed her crazy ass father has just arrived? How will Tyrion take it when she inevitably kills him? Or will this be her chance to show some mercy since she hasn’t really before? 

Tons of reunions this episode. Arya/Sam/Bran & Jon. Sansa & Tyrion. Yara & Theon. Gendry/The Hound & Arya. Jorah & Sam. 

Oh right about that Sam and Jorah thing. Dany is super stoked to meet Sam because he saved the life of her friend zoned forever bff Jorah. Only thing is….she also burned his father and brother alive. It’s….awkward to say the least. This gives Sam the fuel fire he needs to confront Jon and tell him he is really Aegon Targaryen. What Jon ends up doing with that information, only time will tell. More importantly when he realizes he’s been fucking his Aunt this entire time, what will he do? Since Targaryen’s were fairly incestual for most of their bloodline I’d say this just becomes a minor plot point. 

I love that zero people have asked about what happened to Little Finger. 

Also, RIP Lord Umber and Last Hearth. 

Best quotes this week:

  • Sansa to Tyrion: I used to think you were the cleverest man alive.
  • Lyanna: You left Winterfell a King and came back a — I’m not sure what you are now. My Lord? Nothing at all?
  • Sansa: What do Dragon’s eat anyway?  Dany: Whatever they want.
  • Jon to Arya: How’d you sneak up on me?
  • Jon to Arya: Sansa thinks she’s smarter than everyone. Arya to Jon: She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met.
  • The Hound to Arya: You left me to die. Arya to The Hound: First I robbed you.