The Cohens

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-THREE S01: E23: THE NANA

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-THREE: S01: E23: THE NANA

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Three – Season One: Episode Twenty-Three: The Nana

Recap by Holly Hill

Recap:

Luke and Ryan spend all night looking for Marissa who has disappeared in light of information about Luke and Julie. Seth blames Luke (obviously) and Luke says it was an accident.

Seth: Sorry did you accidentally sleep with Marissa’s Mom or did you accidentally tell Marissa about it?

Julie shows up and wants to know where Marissa is and Luke confesses that they all know and now Marissa knows to. Julie wants to talk to Ryan alone and asks if he knows where Marissa is. He says he doesn’t but Marissa called and left a message telling him she was safe but to not try to find her. Classic drama Marissa.

They boys discuss what to do next and head to the kitchen to find Hailey who they saved from the strip club the night before. As thanks she made them a large breakfast spread. Sandy comes in with a, “We have to get all the bread out of the house!” Apparently his mother is coming to visit for the Seder, and Sandy told her they do it at their house every year…even though they don’t.

Seth: I love when The Nana comes and suddenly Dad’s all Jewish again.

Seth goes to Summer’s house to see if she’s heard from Marissa. She has, but doesn’t know where she is, only that she’s okay. Summer desperately wants to meet The Nana, but Seth says she shouldn’t want to because Nana is scary, judgemental and political. Seth says he has to pick stuff up for the Seder and Summer gets schemey. Sandy is convinced that his mother is coming out to stage an intervention and put him back on the path of righteousness since now he’s left the public sector and isn’t helping poor people anymore.

Jimmy comes over to see how Hailey is doing and flirt with her. Who cares.

“The front door is wide open. A person could walk in here, take everything, and kill us all.” Meet, The Nana, who has taken a cab from the airport and walked right in the door. She is lovely! And also none of the things Seth describe her as to Summer. Everyone is shocked and confused. Why isn’t Nana being terrible and full of opinions? Seth laments to Ryan that something is up because Kirsten and Nana don’t get along and now they suddenly are. Ryan suddenly knows where Marissa is.

Two people who don’t get along suddenly do? Marissa is at Theresa’s place in Chino. Eddie shows up and is pissed to find Ryan. Apparently it’s Theresa and Eddie’s engagement party. Marissa tells Ryan he’s wasting his time. She isn’t coming home. Boo-hoo eye roll.

Eddie finds Ryan and tells him to get out and Ryan says he’s not leaving without Marissa. Ryan gets pushed to the ground and told to leave. MY GOD MARISSA WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DOING THIS TO RYAN. Ryan calls Julie to tell him Marissa is safe and she tells him to bring her home or she’ll call the cops and tell them Ryan is holding Marissa against her will. Marissa sees Ryan’s arm that has been hurt in the fall from one of Eddie’s guys.

Marissa: I’m sorry this is all my fault.

Yes. Yes it is Marissa. Now get in the car and go home so Ryan doesn’t get his ass beat because of you!

Back at the house The Nana is suddenly a bitch again and admits she came to visit to say goodbye because she has advanced lung cancer and only has a few more months left to live. Nana doesn’t want treatment and they fight about it. Summer practices for her Seder speech. Nana smokes because she don’t give AF. Sandy says he called her doctor and he says he can slow the cancer down. Seth overhears the conversation and he and Nana have a heart to heart stare down.

Eddie and Ryan finally speak and Eddie forgives Ryan acknowledging that he is here for Marissa. Ryan says she doesn’t want him here though and Eddie disagrees. He says she went to the one place only he could find her. Meanwhile, Seth and Nana have a little pow-wow to discuss the possibility of Nana getting chemo. Luke shows up to talk to Marissa. Marissa slaps him in the face because obviously. Ryan semi-tricks Marissa into coming back with him telling her that if she stays there it will be too hard on him. Honestly, the dude is just trying to not have Julie Cooper throw him in jail.

Back at The Cohen’s Sandy and The Nana talk it over and she agrees to get treatment. Ryan brings Marissa back to her Mom’s. Julie answers the door and Marissa says she’s just there to get her stuff and go, threatening to tell everyone about Julie and Luke if her Mom stops her. Jimmy and Hailey talk about starting a relationship together, but not telling anyone just yet. Ryan shows up with Marissa and Summer leads the Seder and everyone has a happy ending.

Sandy: How was everything at home?

Ryan: You tell me, I was in chino.

OMG stop it you guys.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Float On” by Modest Mouse

Best Quote:

Seth: What’s the GP RA?

Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.

Seth: Game Plan, Ryan Atwood.

Ryan: You’re just using initials now?

Seth: Yeah, they save time.

Ryan: Well not if you have to translate them.

Seth: GP.

Ryan: Game plan?

Seth: Good point.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

We are back in Chino and while all the main speaking roles for Mexicans look practically white there are a few extras that definitely are not white. They won’t have any speaking roles though.

Weird 2004 thing:

While waiting for Marissa to call, Seth falls asleep with his cell phone and the home phone. Back when people had two phone numbers…..

Best Fashion Statement:

What is this shirt?

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THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-TWO: S01: E22: THE L.A.

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-TWO: S01: E22: THE L.A.

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Two – Season One: Episode Twenty-Two: The L.A.

Recap by Holly Hill

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Recap:

Theresa is back with Eddie, and Ryan is back at the Mermaid Inn picking up a watch he left there after he did the deed with her. Seth accompanies him and they talk about how now that Theresa is gone and Marissa is out of the picture all the lady drama in Ryan’s life is gone. He’s got a clean slate. That is until they see Luke walk out of a room where Julie is staying and watch as they viciously make out in front of them. The two book it and the next morning discuss the options of their newfound knowledge.

They both agree that Marissa can’t find out because she doesn’t handle bad news well, so they will tell Luke to end it before it comes to that. Summer and Marissa are walking on the beach discussing her relationship status and Summer suggests she be by herself for a while since she’s always had a boyfriend. They come upon a film set, and it turns out that an episode of The Valley, Summer’s favorite TV show, is filming an episode and Grady Bridges, the star of the show played by Colin Hanks, is standing right there. He invites Summer and Marissa to his birthday party the next night, which sets off all of Seth’s insecurity alarms.

Jimmy and Sandy are both working on opening that restaurant, remember that? They’re close to opening it, but they’re running out of money. They need a designer for the restaurant still and Kirsten suggests they hire Julie because she’ll do it for free for the experience. Kirsten also gets a letter from Hailey, who says she’s out of the country again, much to Jimmy’s suspicions because he saw her in Orange County fairly recently. Julie steps in, much to their dismay, and she suggests that they ask Caleb for the money to get their restaurant up to speed. Caleb and Sandy fight a bit and Caleb tries to back out.

Caleb: I know when I’m not wanted

Sandy: And yet you’re always at our house.

In the end they have Caleb move his business meeting with Rivera Magazine, the tastemakers of Newport Beach, to their restaurant to try dishes from the menu. The idea is that if Caleb likes it he will invest in it and if the magazine people like it, even better for free publicity.

Meanwhile, Ryan goes for subtlety when asking Luke about Julie:

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Ryan tells Luke to stop hitting it and start quitting it. Ryan says Marissa is going to LA for that birthday party tomorrow night and while she’s gone, Luke has to end it with Julie. Seth is watching The Valley and starts to get self-conscious about how much he is like the character that invited Summer to the party in LA. Marissa shows up and tells Ryan she’s not going to LA because she thinks her and Ryan need to have time apart. Ryan probably agrees, but he convinces Marissa to go so that Luke can break up with Julie. Luke bombards Julie at her porch and instead of breaking up with her he makes out with her and they end up getting it on. Not how you break up with someone Luke!

They show up at the party and can’t believe how old Grady looks and that he plays a teenager. A little bit of a play on how fucking old they all look. I appreciate that. Meanwhile Seth runs into Paris Hilton and she kisses him, much to Summer’s dismay. Then a stripper asks Ryan for a dance, but they are both taking for a loop when he realizes it’s Hailey, Kirsten’s sister. Guess she’s not in Europe.

Julie shows up at the dinner after her bang-o-rang session. As Luke is driving away he listens to Ryan’s voicemail telling him to break up with Julie and he drives back to make sure it’s done. Meanwhile, Sandy is fed up with the people that will be at his restaurant if this deal works, and Caleb being in charge. He says no restaurant is better than this, but Jimmy doesn’t really have a choice. He has to make this work. Ryan calls Sandy and tells him that Hailey is here being a stripper. Sandy tells the kids to head home now, while Jimmy freaks out at Caleb and leaves as an excuse to go and save Hailey. Ryan and Marissa try to find Seth and Summer to leave and also try to work on getting Hailey out of there. Caleb is mad that Jimmy left and Sandy says he didn’t, he went to go save Hailey and Caleb is shocked by the news and decides to invest because Jimmy is a good guy.

They find Hailey and Seth tries to get Hailey to leave with them. The manager of the club tells them to get out. Summer is with Grady in his limo and he tries to put the moves on her. Summer is immediately grossed out and leaves with Seth. Hailey gets fired just as Jimmy shows up to make sure everyone’s okay. Jimmy tells them to head back and he gives Hailey a ride back to the Cohens.

Julie is at the dinner still when Luke shows up at The Cohens to break up with her. Julie tells luke to wait outside her house and hide in the bushes or something. She heads back to the house and Luke breaks up with her and leaves. Julie calls Caleb like the tramp she is and sets up a date right away. Marissa and Ryan hang out in his room, and she goes back into the bathroom area. Luke shows up to tell Ryan he’s ‘Done having sex with Julie Cooper’. Marissa of course hears the entire thing and does her dramatic, “I gotta go.” Probably will end up on a coke binger next episode.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Ride” By The Vines

Best Quote:

Seth: This is clean-slate Ryan. No more women to protect from violent goateed factory workers or pill popping manic depressives. I’m going to declare this month Angst-Free Ryan Month.

Ryan: Month? You think it’s gonna last that long?

Seth: Angst-Free Ryan Week. With an option for an additional week if you like it. Hey, what’s Luke doing here, did you tell him about your watch?

*Proceed to watch Luke and Julie Cooper make out*

Ryan: It didn’t even last a night.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Not a single person. And they were in LA! WHAT?

Weird 2004 thing:

Summer: Thank god I had my camera phone, they are the autograph of the 21st century.

She was not wrong.

Also Paris Hilton shows up, which was a big deal in 2004. Now? I don’t even high schoolers know who she is anymore.

Best Fashion Statement:

What is this Marissa?

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY: S01: E20: THE TELENOVELA

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY: S01: E20: THE TELENOVELA

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty – Season One: Episode Twenty: The Telenovela

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

Recap:

At school, Ryan confirms to Seth that he and Marissa are no longer seeing each other and will just have to go back to being friends. Seth says they were never friends before. Across the quad, Marissa and Summer have the exact same conversation. Summer admits to Marissa that things with her and Seth are weird. Sex is good now, but things are super weird in public. Theresa calls Ryan and says she’ll be in town tonight and wants to hang out. Her boyfriend, Eddie (who is supposed to be 17-18 but looks like he’s 30, comes in just as she hangs up and she shoves a suitcase under the bed and says it was a wrong number. Sketchy, sketchy. Ryan just can’t help but get involved with the girls who bring drama.

A guy named Brad comes up to Summer and Seth in the hall. He tells Summer he’s doing a kissing booth fundraiser for the water polo team. He’s the guy, and they’re looking for a girl and…..

Brad leaves and Seth asks Summer why Brad doesn’t know that they are going out now. Seth clearly isn’t okay with this, but Summer agrees. Anna shows up (back from her hiatus in Pittsburgh), just in time to give Seth relationship advice about Summer, the thing she does best. At lunch, Summer is surrounded by a group of water polo players while Seth looks on in frustration. Anna remarks that it’s interesting to see Summer and Seth being a couple so well. “Your closeness, it’s overwhelming.”

At The Newport Group, Caleb tells Kirsten that his business partner Shaun has been arrested for being drunk and stumbling into a room at a hotel. Caleb wants Kirsten to ask Sandy to make it go away and Kirsten says Caleb will have to ask for his help himself. Caleb does go ask Sandy for help and says it’d mean a lot to him if he helped.

Sandy: Did Kirsten ask you to say that?

Caleb: She thinks you’re going to say no.

Sandy: Well, my wife knows me pretty well. But, you know, sometimes I like to surprise her. I don’t want her to go and get all conceited and stuff.

Sandy says he’ll look at the report and make some calls and see what he can do. Sandy goes home and tells Kirsten. Sandy asks who this ‘uncle’ Shaun even is. Kirsten says he’s a consultant. Sandy meets with drunk Uncle Shaun to discuss his case. Sandy nails Shaun down on the fact that the guy whose room he ‘randomly’ stumbled into was actually a guy in the lumber business who was in town to negotiate something with the Newport Group’s chief rival. Sandy guesses that the room he stumbled into had some important documents in it. Uncle Shaun essentially threatens Sandy says that if he ends up sitting down with the DA there’s no telling what he would say (essentially threatening Kirsten). Sandy tells Caleb he won’t take the job and Caleb says that if he doesn’t Kirsten is screwed.

Julie shows up at school for a parent teacher conference and flirts with Luke in the hallway until Jimmy shows up. He acts in a supremely obvious way that they are definitely having sex. After the conference, Julie thanks Jimmy for doing such a great job with Marissa and Julie tells him she’s not seeing Caleb anymore and she’s much happier now. Marissa finally corners Ryan and they commit to being friends. They make plans to hang out after school.

Seth and Summer have sex after school and Seth asks why she ignored him all day at school Summer say she wants their relationship to be private.

Marissa and Ryan play video games after school and it’s super awkward. Theresa shows up just as Marissa is leaving and things are even MORE weird.

The next day at the Mermaid Inn, Luke and Julie bang o rang. Reality hits when Luke has to go to homeroom and Julie has to help Caitlin with a diorama. He leaves and passes Theresa in the hallway (who doesn’t know who he is). At school, Ryan and Marissa have lunch together and try (and fail) to make things less awkward. She asks where Theresa is staying in town while she’s working and Ryan says at the Mermaid Inn.

Anna tries to stay out of Seth and Summer’s relationship for an entire 10 seconds before telling Seth that he’s a coward and she can’t let Summer get away with this. He has to take a stand and make a gesture. Seth tells Summer that he will not have sex with her again until he can acknowledge him publicly. Summer says he’ll be crawling back in no time.

Theresa and Ryan take a walk on the beach and discuss their lives. Yawn. Theresa says she and her boyfriend Eddie are taking a break (that’s not what it looked like to me Theresa, looked like you were running away!), and Ryan says that he and Marissa are too. Ryan comes home without Theresa and Eddie is in his driveway. Ryan asks what he’s doing here. Eddie says that he’s looking for Theresa. THey’re engaged and she left without a note. Ryan lies and says he hasn’t seen Theresa.

After Eddie leave, Ryan goes over to Theresa’s hotel and she confesses that Eddie is a good guy, but she’s not sure if she can marry him. She just needs some time to figure it out.

Ryan: What are you doing for dinner?

Theresa: Nothing.

Ryan: And don’t say you’re not hungry, I know you.

Theresa: I didn’t say I wasn’t hungry. I’m starving. Why do you think I’m being such a bitch?

Ryan takes Theresa to his house for dinner. Summer shows up at The Cohens for sex, but Seth remains strong and makes her leave.

Caleb shows up at Julie’s place with flowers and he says he misses her. It’s actually a pretty good scene that can only really be watched. Essentially she says, no thanks. So here you go:

Ryan tells Seth all about this Theresa drama, and when Ryan and Theresa go to the table, Kirsten and Sandy confront Seth about the situation, which he boils down:

Marissa is sitting on the couch moping, but Jimmy comes in and asks what’s wrong. She tells him about Ryan and her trying to be friends and Jimmy (ONCE AGAIN) gives her terrible advice to take a stand (STOP, JIMMY), and go over there and tell him how you feel. Marissa marches right over and into a very awkward Cohen dinner with Theresa and Ryan both. Telenovela indeed.

The next day Summer apologizes to Anna about how things ended with her and Seth and began with her and Seth. Anna tells SUmmer she doesn’t have to ignore Seth. Anna tells Summer that that Summer is either really evil or something else is going on. Summer confesses that she doesn’t know why SEth likes her. He’s way smarter, they have nothing in common and Summer is worried that he will get bored with her. THen when everyone knows they’re dating then everyone will know when he breaks up with her. Sounds like she needs a GRAND GESTURE OF LOVE.

Ryan goes to Eddie’s work to tell him that he did see Theresa. Ryan says he doesn’t know if he loves Theresa, but Eddie says that he does and he wants to take care of her. Eddie says Ryan can either help convince Theresa to get back together with him, or get ready for fight for her, because he’s not giving up on her. Julie calls Luke for a booty call at the Mermaid Inn and Marissa goes to the same hotel to talk to Theresa about Ryan.

In one of the most memorable scenes of The OC, Summer is at her kissing booth when Seth gets up and makes his gesture. He makes everyone leave and stands up on the kissing booth declaring his love for her. Summer gets up and they make up and make out. Awwwww.

Theresa calls Eddie, but while she’s waiting for him to come to the phone Ryan shows up. They make out and presumably dooooo itttttt (this is relevant later). I give this episode 5 yawns out of 5 yawns.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Something Pretty” by Patrick Park

Best Quote:

Julie: I’m Marissa’s mother and you’re a student at this school. We can’t do this.

Luke: You mean it’s over?

Julie: No. I mean, in the hallway. I’ll see you tonight.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Again Theresa is kind of there? So just her.

Weird 2004 thing:

These hats? Why did we like these hats in the early 2000s?! See below for more.

Best Fashion Statement:

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven: S01:E07 – The Escape

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven – Season One: Episode Seven – The Escape

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

Recap:

Ya’ll ready for a dramatic AF episode? Seth and Ryan are discussing alibis which isn’t a good sign. Seth says he goes to San Diego Comic-Con every year so it’s the perfect cover up, his parents will never guess where they are really going. Where is that? TO TJ OF COURSE! As The OC kids call it anyway…in plain people speak they mean Tijuana, Mexico. One last hurrah before school starts in the fall. Apparently it’s a tradition for the cool kids and now that Seth has made out with Summer he is dying to go as well.

Ryan doesn’t feel comfortable lying to Seth’s parents and he also doesn’t want to run into Marissa, so he’s not really into the idea. Sandy walks into the kitchen all dressed up for his an annual job interview. It’s with a private law firm and he always gets a great meal out of it which is why he goes, but he turns them down each time because he loves his work as a public defender. Never say never.

Sandy: “How long until you two are leaving on your trip?”

Seth: “I don’t know Ryan, how soon?”

Ryan: “Tomorrow.”

Seth: “Don’t you mean…mañana?”

It’s like Seth is trying to get caught going to Mexico.

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At Marissa’s house, Marissa and Summer talk about plans for Tijuana. Summer wants the deets on Marissa and Luke’s hook up. Summer says she should just have sex with him again because it’s way better the second time. Because Summer obviously has lots of experience with sex….or so she says.

Jimmy is on the phone trying to get an apartment ready for him to move into. He is clearly distressed and has not told his kids that he and Julie are getting a divorce. He goes over to Kirsten’s to ask if she knows anyone who can get him a place to live. She says she’ll call her realtor.

Later, Marissa and Luke are making out and he says he can’t wait to go to Tijuana because it’s so romantic. Marissa says it’s gross there. She’s not wrong. Why are they all going to Tijuana again? I guess because they can drink legally there? Marissa says she’s not sure about TJ (AKA Tijuana. God why do they call it that??). She isn’t sure about leaving her Dad alone because she can tell something is wrong. Luke is all mad because she’s backing out of their fuck fest in TJ for her Dad, because Luke’s capacity for empathy is about as tiny as his dick is.

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At Ryan’s work, Seth is talking to Ryan about his kiss with Summer. Luke and Marissa walk in and Luke grabs a table so Marissa and Ryan can hey at each other. Ryan asks her how she is and she says last time she saw him he had his hands full of a 24 year old’s ass. Why do you care Marissa? You’re with Luke now, remember? She goes to sit with Luke, Summer, and Holly. She and Holly awkwardly say hi. Things are still not quite right since her dad beat up her dad. Or whatever. Also that time Holly secretly made out with Luke a lot while they were still kind of dating. Marissa tells the gang that she’s baking out of going to TJ.

From the bar, Seth is eavesdropping on the group. Summer doesn’t have a ride without Marissa and she is totally bummed. Meanwhile, behind a fish tank, Holly tries to get Luke to cheat on Marissa with her in TJ. Ryan gives them the ‘eye’ and Luke pretends he was just checking out the clown fish. Seth gets up to invite Summer to drive with him and Ryan to TJ. She gives him a ‘who the hell are you, I don’t remember making out with you’ look. The next day Summer arrives in front of the Cohens with a million bags, ready to hit the road with Ryan and Seth. Sandy comes out to introduce himself saying he didn’t know she was into comic con.

Summer: “Comic books? Ew!”

Seth: “She goes for the Anime.”

Summer goes to say goodbye to Marissa, and when Jimmy asks why she’s still there she says she wanted to spend time with him. Jimmy makes up an excuse that he made plans so he can’t hang out and suddenly Marissa is going to TJ with Summer, Seth, and Ryan.

Kirsten helps Jimmy paint his apartment. Kirsten is very sympathetic to Jimmy’s situation. She presses him to call Marissa because if she comes home and he’s not there, she’s going to be really upset.

Summer and Seth are fighting over music, directions, and when they’ll arrive. Just about everything. They’re practically already married at this point.

Summer: “Somebody drives like an old woman.”

Seth: “Who talks like that?”

In the back seat, Marissa is being rude to Ryan. The AC in the car is broken so Summer complains about her hair.

Summer: “You’re jewish?”

Seth: “Yes it’s why I feel so comfortable in this desert heat.”

Summer takes some time to continue her complaining, but this time about the music and Seth tells her to not insult Death Cab.

Summer has a point.

Seth decides he’s going to pull over and drop Summer off and he pulls haphazardly into a ditch. The gang has to stay in a hotel room overnight until the axle in the car is fixed.

Outside the disgusting hotel where they’ve had to all stop for the night, Ryan is at the vending machines with Marissa who has not stopped being a bitch to him. He asks if she’s ever going to stop being mad at him, and she says she’s not mad at him. Yeah, okay Marissa. He tells her she could have knocked first before she barged into the pool house catching him and Gabriella in the act.

Oh sizzle that sexual tension. Sizzle. Summer comes out in her pajamas which look like a victoria secret’s ad. She tells Seth to get off the bed because she isn’t sleeping on the couch. Seth refuses and she gets in next to him telling him if he makes a move she’ll rip out his jugular.

Marissa gets a phone call from her Dad telling her about the divorce. Ryan listens through the slightly open hotel door. Ryan and Marissa go to sleep on opposite sides of the fold out couch but when they wake up in the morning his arms are wrapped around her.

He asks if she wants to go home, but she thinks they should go anyway. Summer and Seth are at a diner having breakfast and are being mirrors of each other while reading the newspaper and eating. He says that she enjoys his company. She denies it.

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Seth: “May I remind you of a time I like to call, ‘The time you kissed me by the pool at my Grandfather’s birthday party.”

Seth: “Face it our chemistry is undeniable.”

Summer: “You know what else is undeniable?

That relationship is off to a good start.

The gang make it to TJ and Summer needs to stop at the pharmacy so she can get some painkillers for her step mom who has taken all the painkillers available in Orange County. Hang tight on the pain pills, we will see them again soon.

At Sandy’s interview he sees Rachel, a hot lawyer who used to work with him at the DA’s office. I guess she works for this company he’s interviewing with now. They start insta-flirting and it’s easy to sense a future marital problem! The company is impressed with how he helped out Jimmy Cooper, and they’re hoping he might be able to come off his high horse and work for them now that he’s helped a rich person.

Sandy comes back from grocery shopping and Kirsten is checking mail in the kitchen. He see’s a new surfboard with a bow on it and finds out it’s from Rachel at the law firm. He confesses to Kirsten that he is actually considering taking the job because he wants to contribute to the household. Kirsten says they have more than enough money. Sandy verbally backslaps Kirsten saying the only thing that keeps her from feeling like Julie Cooper is him because she works and makes more money than him.

The next day Sandy has a follow up interview with hot Rachel. They have lunch and the partners at the firm have sent her to snag Sandy for the job. Kirsten is over at Jimmy’s again screwing in lightbulbs. Jimmy brings up their past and tries to kiss Kirsten. She does not respond and leaves immediately. Sandy comes home that night and says that he’s going to take the job. She neglects to tell him about the Jimmy thing, which will surely backfire later.

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At Boom Boom, the hot happening club where all the kids get drunk, Marissa and Summer arrive with Ryan and Seth. Marissa tries to find Luke. Luke is pretty hammered and Holly is pretty grossly flirting with him. They dance and basically fuck each other with their clothes on. Everyone starts taking shots, and just when everyone is starting to feel a bit drunk, Marissa spots Luke and Holly basically banging. She freaks out at Luke as he tries to apologize. Luke says she didn’t think she was coming.

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Summer calls Holly a bitch, who announces to everyone that Luke hooks up with freshman, college girls, and basically everyone so they can’t only be mad at her. Summer pushes Holly saying, “Marissa’s parents are getting a divorce you stupid slut!” Seth tells Holly to walk away because Summer suffers from rage blackouts. Ryan tells Luke he doesn’t deserve Marissa and punches Luke in the face. Marissa takes off into the night. You’ll notice she does this a lot. WOW was that enough drama for you? Hang tight! It gets better.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer go looking for Marissa who has gone back to the hotel. Summer finds her and Marissa says she has no one….Luke’s gone, Julie is gone, her Dad is gone. Um, Summer is sitting right next to you, you bitch.

Summer insists they go home and she goes to the bathroom to start packing up their stuff. Marissa sees the pain pills that Summer bought earlier and grabs them, taking off. Summer calls Seth to let them know she found Marissa. She calls out to Marissa who doesn’t respond and Summer realizes that she’s gone and has taken the pills with her. Ryan and Seth show up and it’s another man hunt for Marissa.

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Marissa heads to a very divey bar away from all the tourists, downing a handful of pills with tequila. She gets really sweaty and delirious at the bar. She walks out and finds a dirty alley to go die in. Good.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer almost give up looking for her when Ryan passes the alley in question and sees her lying in it. He picks her up in an iconic end scene. Is she dead? Will she pull through! Tune in next week to find out!

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Best Song of the Episode:

“A Movie Script ending” by Death Cab for Cutie

Have to mention the first appearance of Death Cab in the show because they will just keep popping up in some fairly iconic scenes throughout the series.

Best Quote:

Seth: “We also have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which lulls my parents into a false sense of trust.”

Ryan: “And you want to throw that all away for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots?”

*Long pause*
Seth: “I’m sorry I thought that was a rhetorical question. Yes Ryan. Yes I do.”

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

You’d think since they were in fucking MEXICO this time at least one person would say ‘hola’ but nope. All white people speaking this time around. Classic OC.

Weird 2003 thing:

People thinking Comic-Con is for nerds only. Once Marvel starts making blockbusters in a few years, Comic-Con will be something all the popular kids will want to go to. Just wait 2003 people. Just you wait.

Best Fashion Statement:

Summer’s Tijuana outfit. Nice late 90’s, early 00’s head bandana.

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 6: S01:E06 – The Girlfriend

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Six – Season One: Episode Six – The Girlfriend

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

Recap:

We open on some witty banter from the Cohen’s who have just returned from grocery shopping. They are preparing for a visit from Kirsten’s Dad, Caleb, and his new girlfriend. It’s very clear that Sandy is not looking forward to this as he clearly has animosity toward his father-in-law. Ryan is also not looking forward to it, considering he burned down Caleb’s house.

Caleb suddenly enters and tells Sandy ‘shalom,’ to which Sandy can hardly fucking believe the nerve of this guy. Gabrielle, Caleb’s new girlfriend, is out back for a swim and much to Seth and Ryan’s extreme delight, she is basically a 24 year old supermodel.

Caleb makes some digs at Seth still not being a football player, and he gives Ryan shit for burning down one of his houses. Gabrielle flirts mercilessly with Ryan and Seth in the pool, while they discuss Caleb’s birthday party set two days from now. Gabrielle convinces the boys to invite Summer and Marissa. Ryan is unsure because Marissa may be back with Luke and Seth is unsure because he still isn’t sure Summer knows his name.

Luke drops by Marissa’s house after getting his stitches out of his gunshot wound. Marissa clearly isn’t that excited to see him. Luke knows how lucky he is to have a second chance with his life, and since Marissa was there for him in the hospital, he wants to be there for her with her whole ‘soon to be poor’ thing. Luke gives her a stuffed animal and tells her they’ll take it slow. Super romantic. *eye roll*

Sandy and Kirsten talk to Caleb about his birthday party that Kirsten has been planning. Caleb doesn’t sound that into it, but Sandy insists that he has to go because Kirsten has been working hard on it all month on top of doing all the actual fucking work for his company. Caleb brings up her adoption of Ryan, annoyed she didn’t consult him. As punishment, he says he’s going to scale back her responsibilities at work so she can spend some time with her new son. He’s clearly not passive aggressive at all.

Julie comes by Jimmy’s office to rub it in his face that she had to return China, Caitlin’s horse. Julie says she wants to get a divorce. If she can’t give his daughter a pony then she doesn’t want him at all!

Ryan walks over to Marissa’s and she answers the door so they can breathe/hey at each other. He wants to invite her to the party tonight but Luke is there and suddenly is SUPER kind to Ryan for kind of maybe sort of saving his life, and calling Marissa after it happened to visit him in the hospital. THANKS FOR GETTING US BACK TOGETHER RYAN!

Gabrielle stops by Ryan’s work for a drink, because apparently he still has that job. They flirt and she says he must think it’s weird that she’s with an older guy. Ryan replies with, “I live in a pool house.” Great dialogue. Marissa stops by his work too, to tell him Luke wants to get back together with her. They ‘hey’ and she tells him she doesn’t know what to do or who she wants to be with. Ryan tells her to let him know when she’s made up her mind and Marissa gets all sad. Just make your own personal decision bitch.

Since Marissa can’t make a decision for herself, the next day she invites Summer to lunch to talk it over. Summer says she’s better off with Luke because Ryan comes from a land of knife fights and sex on the hood of cars. Marissa says that’s The Fast and the Furious, not Chino. Well, fuck it might as well be Chino with the way you assholes are always talking about it. Seth and Ryan skateboard/bike by and they stop to ‘hey’ some more at the girls. Summer lets Marissa and Ryan have alone time while asking Seth to accompany her to the salsa bar after he awkwardly introduces himself to her for the millionth time.

Summer gets some picante on her pinky which she doesn’t like, so she asks Seth to lick it off. Summer asks Seth to take her to Caleb’s party, and although he’s unsure why she wants to go with him, he agrees to take her. Ryan apologizes for telling Marissa that she has to make up her own mind and invites her to Caleb’s party too, but Marissa she says she’s already going…with Luke.

Summer and Marissa talk about the party and how Summer is excited to have Seth introduce her to hot, rich, 20-something bankers. So now we understand why she wanted Seth to invite her.

At dinner that night, Caleb says that Seth has a quick wit and asks why he isn’t better at skirt chasing. Your misogyny is showing Caleb, christ. Seth brags that Summer asked him to his party to which Sandy is clearly impressed, because as he says, “Summer is hot.” Seth tells him to please stop. Gabrielle and Ryan eye fuck each other over the table, Seth notices, and Caleb wonders why there isn’t more wine.

Sandy daydreams to Kirsten about her quitting her job, wanting to buy back their old run down house in Berkley. Caleb overhears them talking about it in the kitchen and asks what’s going on. Sandy, without any go ahead from Kirsten, tells him they’re thinking about moving. Sandy and Caleb fight because of course, and Caleb says he wants Kirsten’s resignation on his desk in the morning. Nice Sandy.

Seth goes to get Gabrielle a good video game to play, leaving Ryan and Gabrielle alone in the pool house. The second he leaves, she admits to Ryan that Caleb bores her. She runs her hand up Ryan’s leg and they start making out. Caleb yells out that they’re leaving and Ryan is left stunned.

The next morning of the party, Ryan and Seth are in the pool together and Seth admits that he’s noticed some heavy flirting. Ryan point blank admits they hooked up, which in early 2000 speak could mean anything from making out to full on BDSM can’t sit for a week shit. It’s a very vague term.

Is no one going to point out that Ryan is 16 (yes I know he looks 25) and Gabriella is 24 (yes I know she looks 30)? No one is going to point out that that’s some fucked up sexual predator, go to jail for child sex crime shit? No? Okay then.

It’s finally Caleb’s birthday and Kirsten tries desperately to reverse the whole ‘give me your resignation’ thing. Gabrielle finds Ryan and continues the flirting. Luke and Marissa start flirting. Ryan can’t stand it and goes to mope in the pool house. Luke is very nice to Seth, and Seth doesn’t quite understand since he got shot in the arm not the head.

Jimmy and Julie arrive, and Jimmy has a plan to ask Caleb for a job. When that epically fails, Julie uses her skirt chasing wiles to see what Caleb can do for her now that she’s getting a divorced and has nothing. Caleb of course asks her to dinner because why not.

Meanwhile Seth is introducing Summer to a lot of rich dudes. Summer later confides to Marissa that she’s meeting lots of wealth management people who, “manage wealth…as a job!” Very insightful Summer. Summer confirms with Marissa that she chose Luke over Ryan. Summer asks if they’ve had sex yet, to which Marissa obviously admits they haven’t. Summer asks what she’s waiting for and Marissa says she doesn’t know. Girl don’t know shit.

Back at the pool house, Ryan is hiding from the party, as well as Marissa and Luke, when Gabrielle walks in and they start ‘hooking up’ aka making out, everyone relax. Marissa stops by to tell Ryan that she chooses him instead of Luke, but she gets all sad and betrayed that he’s ‘hooking up’ with someone else. They aren’t even dating! What is he supposed to do, just sit there moping while Marissa takes a decade to figure out what she wants!? Marissa goes back through the party and finds Luke, saying she’s ready to hook up. Like actually hook up, as in have sex. If Ryan’s doing it why don’t they? She’s dumb.

Seth fights with Summer, saying he can’t stand introducing her to one more person who just stands there and stares at her boobs. Seth says that none of those guys know her, but he does. Cue adorable fucking moment. Seth remembers that Summer wrote a poem in sixth grade about how she wanted to be a mermaid, and is so overcome with emotion as he recites it to her that she kisses him.

Sandy tells Caleb that Kirsten has no intention of quitting or moving. Sandy says that he needs to let her keep doing what she’s doing at the company. She’s smart and competent and she doesn’t need Caleb and he knows that Caleb fears that the most. Caleb walks away to find Kirsten and tells her he will see her at work on Monday.

Marissa and Luke lose their virginities to each other. Or at least that’s what Marissa thinks since Luke clearly has fucked other people behind her back. Ryan decides to go get Marissa back and walks over to her house just as Luke drops her off. She looks shell shocked because I guess the sex was bad and shitty, and maybe don’t lose you virginity as revenge. She tells Ryan he’s too late and she half run/cries back inside. Her life is like super fucking hard, okay?

Best Song of the Episode:

“You’re So Damn Hot” by Ok Go

Before they made quirky videos on YouTube, they made this song!

Best Quote:

Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend.

Sandy: Okay. Oh, no wait we can’t.

Kirsten: Why?

Sandy: I’m still Jewish!

Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend is like.

Sandy: I’m sure she is very well paid. I am on fire!

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Big fat zero.

Weird 2003 thing:

Summer: “Caleb Nichol is like the Donald Trump of the West. Do you know how many hot, rich, banker-brokers are going to be there?”

Ah back when Donald Trump was just a rich d-bag, and his name could casually be thrown around in conversation. Those were innocent times.

Best Fashion Statement:

Gabrielle’s bikini, because nothing says, “It’s nice to meet you my future grandson”, like boobs do.

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 5: S01:E05 – The Outsider

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Two – Season One: Episode Three – The Gamble

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

Recap:

The episode opens with Ryan and Seth BMX biking and skateboarding down the Newport boardwalk. The two sit down to a lobster dinner and discuss fashion. Because you know. Now they are both rich kids.

“Is that a new shirt?”
“Yeah your Mom bought me some new clothes, she didn’t have to.”

Ryan gives him a classic Ryan look.

“Gotcha, you got your style I got mine.”

They discuss Marissa, who Ryan has not called because he is giving her space. Ryan feels uncomfortable with everyone giving him money and as he whines, someone behind them who works there gets fired. Perfect time for Ryan to get a job for one episode only! Because that’s exactly how that sort of thing works in the real world. Seth gets pretty sad about this prospect of something else taking up Ryan’s time.

“Before you moved here, all I did was hang out by myself, so it’s really a return to form.”

Kirsten is having a retreat with her awful friend group and Julie. The other women in the group are OBVIOUSLY horny for the scandal that Julie has just created with Jimmy stealing all their husbands’ money. Kirsten is not thrilled with the gossip, but insists they must go anyway since it’s been booked for weeks. Back in the Cooper house, Julie says she needs to go because it’s already paid for and so they don’t talk shit about her the entire time. Jimmy was hoping they could talk this weekend and Julie is like, this is your mess, clean it up.

At the beach, Summer and Marissa are tanning. Rachel Bilson, as Summer, is in a bikini, because it’s in her contract or whatever that she can only wear bikini tops. Summer wants to go shopping and Marissa is like, ‘WAHH MY DAD’S CREDIT CARDS GOT SHUT OFF HOW DO I PAY FOR STUFF?’ Relax bitch. They talk about how Luke is kind of not her boyfriend anymore. Summer says that Marissa needs to not be depressed because her step mom is depressed and is always on medication and she sucks. Okay, we are building a Summer character and a history and background. MAYBE Rachel Bilson can put on a shirt sometime soon. Summer invites Marissa to lunch, and they of course go to the lobster shack or wherever that Ryan now works at for one episode.

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Donnie sees Luke walk in and laments to Ryan, “That Abercrombie and Fitch water polo playing bitch wouldn’t last a day in Corona.” Ryan admits he’s from Chino and they talk about how that place is no joke.

Okay, time for another SoCal lesson from a local. Chino is in San Bernardino County and Corona is in Riverside County. They are just 20 minutes apart though. I’ve said this previously that just because Chino isn’t in Orange County doesn’t mean it is a total shit hole, full of of gangsters that are ‘no joke’, and neither is (surprise) Corona. It’s actually quite nice. The only thing that’s no joke about it is that it’s inland like Chino and hot as fuck out there, basically all the time. I’m not sure where Josh Schwartz got his info on places in Southern California that aren’t Newport beach, but it’s lacking in actual information.

Donnie promises that not everyone around here is like Luke though, and promises to show him a good time after work. Marissa and Luke ‘talk’ but all Luke wants to do is pretend everything is normal and just go get drunk at Holly’s beach house. Marissa has to remind him that Holly’s Dad beat up her dad at her debutante ball. Luke says that Marissa’s dad stole all her money so it’s not Holly’s fault. Wrong thing to say. Needless to say, they are still on the outs after that conversation. Seth shows up as Ryan is off work, hoping to hang out. He meets Donnie but feels out of place, and doesn’t take the invite to come hang out with him and Ryan.

The next morning, Ryan blearily walks into the Cohen kitchen to find a very cold-shouldered Seth reading comics and eating cereal. Seth clearly feels left out. Summer and Marissa are back at the beach and Summer is in another bikini. Ryan is headed into work and passes Marissa and Summer.

“When I asked if you wanted to hang out yesterday, I was asking you out.”

“I know.”

“I just wanted to clear that up because I’m going to ask you out again. Wanna do something tonight?”

Marissa says she has to babysit Kaitlin, but she will be cooking mac and cheese and invites Ryan over.

Sandy sees Jimmy walking his dog and offers free legal advice. Sandy admits that even though he doesn’t like him, he’s a public defender and he represents a lot of people he doesn’t like. Sandy and Jimmy discuss how Jimmy is really in deep shit here. He’s gonna lose his license and he’s never gonna pay back the money he stole. Jimmy and Sandy play videos games and ask each other if they are old. Sandy says the best year of his life was when he was 22, when he met Kirsten. Jimmy says 16, when I met Kirsten. Awkward.

At the retreat, Julie talks about how she needs to enjoy the weekend because she’s not going to be back for awhile. She works the room and whines about how she’s just worried about the girls and had no idea Jimmy was stealing! The women can’t get enough of it and suck down their bloody mary’s, dying for more details. One of them gives Julie the name of a divorce lawyer, and Kirsten is mildly disgusted by the whole thing.

Seth tries once again to get Ryan to hang out by enticing him with IMAX tickets to a shark movie. Fucking party. Ryan has to let him down again because of his Marissa date. Donnie comes out and fist bumps Seth, and since Ryan can’t hang out, he invites Seth to go to the party where there will be…wait for it.

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Seth agrees and Ryan tells him Long Beach is a ‘shady neighborhood’ and ‘pretty hardcore’. Oh my god Ryan, no it’s not. Long beach is fine. I feel like I can say that since that’s where I was born. Holy shit. Long Beach is in Los Angeles county, but borders Orange County. It’s like Schwartz thinks as soon as you cross the invisible county line, things start to get ghetto. To say that Long Beach as a whole is ‘shady,’ really misrepresents the place. Sure some neighborhoods aren’t great, like North Long Beach or the west side neighborhood. Go there at night for a party and it might get a little shady, but that’s about it. But Donnie never specifies where in Long Beach this party is. It could be in fucking Naples or something, in which case it’d be just like a Newport party. Hold your judgement, Ryan!

So clearly, Ryan can’t let Seth go alone so he escorts him to what is clearly North Long Beach or West Side neighborhood, because this party is located in a parking lot with hydraulic cars and the Black Eyed Peas pumping Get Retarded (which has not been dubbed to it’s PC version of Get it Started. Very gangster.) Girls are stripping in the backyard/parking lot and Seth is like…boobs. Ryan says they are only going to hang out for 45 minutes. Ryan calls Marissa and says he got dragged to a party, but has to get Seth away from a dancer before he can come over.

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Seth and Ryan head back at the allotted time, only to find that their Ranger Rover has been damaged. Apparently you don’t bring a Range Rover to North Long Beach. The next morning, Sandy is observing the damage to his car.

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Ryan clearly has missed his date with Marissa, and Seth apologizes for salting his game. Seth goes to Marissa’s to apologize to her for taking Ryan away. He says that Ryan is mad at him right now and he begs Marissa to have Ryan cook her dinner.

Sandy and Jimmy go golfing and Sandy says he won’t go to jail if he pays back everything he lost, but he’ll lose his Series 7 license. Sandy says Jimmy can sell his house and he’s got money in equity. This is too much for Jimmy. How dare Sandy try to help him by telling him the truth about how fucked he is! Jimmy screams at Sandy about how poor he is and how Kirsten takes care of him, and to Sandy’s credit, he doesn’t throw his golf club at Jimmy’s face. Sandy says there’s more to providing for family than money, and asks if Jimmy wants to be around to see Kaitlin grow up, and Marissa graduate. Jimmy leaves that decision up to Julie. Keep the house and throw him in jail, or sell everything and start over as a family.

At Ryan’s job, Seth says that he’s quite skilled at getting a date when it’s not for himself. He tells Ryan he will be cooking for Marissa tonight and Donnie overhears and asks Seth what’s up tonight. Seth tells him about a party at Holly’s beach house (again!?). Donnie asks if he can come to Holly’s beach house with Seth and party with the Newport kids, drink their beer, and dance with their honeys. Sweet, ‘honeys’. Cool.

Back at Ryan and Marissa’s date, Ryan is grilling grilled cheese and Marissa brings over leftover mac and cheese. Marissa wipes her hands on a napkin saying it was the best grilled cheese ever – as if she actually ate it. We all know that she is only allotted three almonds a day. Ryan asks if Marissa wants to do something fun and they push each other in the pool. OMG so cute. All This Time by Onerepublic plays and obviously everyone at home is in swoon mode.

At Holly’s beach house, Summer is wearing a t-shirt, which is the biggest revelation of the night. Luke is sad and drunk, and Holly basically jumps on him knowing that he and Marissa are taking a break.

Donnie hits on Summer and they all make fun of him. Donnie says these kids are ‘mad doggin’ him. Then he shows Seth his gun. Okay, cool Donnie. Way to turn into a psycho.

Seth, who has the worst timing ever, calls Ryan saying that Donnie is a psycho and he has to pick him up, basically interrupting what would have been Ryan and Marissa’s first kiss. Marissa takes off because that’s what she does when there’s a chance that things could get emotional. Donnie and his friends are throwing chips at each other and breaking vodka bottles. Luke comes down and confronts Donnie. Seth tries to warn him to back off, but then Ryan shows up. Seth says that Ryan and he should go. Luke pushes Donnie who obviously has to pull out his gun and point it sideways at Luke. Damn those Long Beach/Chino/Riverside/Corona/non-Orange County kids are crazy!

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“How much you hate this kid Ryan? What about you Seth?”

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Nice green t-shirt Summer. I see you back there semi-clothed. Ryan tackles Donnie to the ground and Luke’s arm gets shot. No water polo for you. Donnie takes off, and Luke is whisked away to the hospital in an ambulance. Ryan, being the good guy he is, calls Marissa to come to the hospital to see Luke. She tells him not to wait for her. She might be awhile.

Guess that Ryan Marissa thing is on hold for now.

Best Song of the Episode:

“The Way We Get By” by Spoon

This was the first time I ever heard a Spoon song and have since become a lifelong fan.

Best Quote:

Seth: I do think that from now on, though, we got to stick together because united we’re unstoppable, but divided it’s…

Ryan: People get shot.

Seth: That’s what I’m saying. That’s what I’m saying.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Zero. Which is surprising because they were in Long Beach which is ‘a shady neighborhood’.

Weird 2003 thing:

Seth’s giant white first gen ipod.

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Also, in one scene Ryan is eating from a box of Captain Crunch with The Wild Thornberrys on it. Not a thing anymore.

Best Fashion Statement:

Summer’s green t-shirt. You heard that right. T-shirt. On Summer.

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THE O.C. SUNDAYS – VOLUME 4: S01:E04 – THE DEBUT

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Two – Season One: Episode Three – The Gamble

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

Recap:

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The episode starts with some classic Ryan/Seth time dueling it out on their sweet ass PlayStation. Sandy and Kirsten tell Ryan that they went to child services and told them they want him to stay with them, but because he’s a minor, they have to assume all legal responsibility for him.

“I can’t ask you guys to do that.”

“You don’t’ have to, we’re asking you.”

“We’ve all talked about it and we want to be your legal guardians.”

Talk about a 180 from Kirsten. Ryan’s face is just as you’d imagine it, full of hope, anticipation, fear of screwing this up, but most of all, happiness. It’s a dream come true. Ryan asks what happens if they change their mind and it doesn’t work. Sandy jokes that he’s already beaten up the captain of the water polo team, burned down a house, and stolen a car, so what else could possibly go wrong? At this point, I took a moment to pause and reflect on all that is yet to come in this season and others to come. I figure that if Sandy and Kirsten only knew how much else would go wrong, they would have been kicking that Chino kid out ASAP.

Ryan promises to stay out of trouble and they welcome him to the family. Ryan almost cries, I definitely cried, Seth welcomes him to the family, and they half joke about how now he just has to stay out of trouble.

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Kirsten gets Ryan settled into the pool house and wants to buy him more things, but he insists he has everything he needs. Kirsten bets he doesn’t have a tux. He’s gonna need a tux. This is a world of events every weekend and charity galas and of COURSE there is a goddamn cotillion.

Sidenote: Have you ever been to a cotillion? You haven’t? Well, that’s because you’re not an asshole. Cotillion is something rich assholes send their kids to to learn manners and become part of civilized society. Then at the end, you ‘graduate’ or ‘debut’ yourself as an accomplished person. This particularly applies to the women who have to wear white like they’re debuting from a fucking convent while their dude escorts try to cop a feel. Lots of dining, dancing, and debuting. Hence the title of this episode. As a person who grew up in Orange County, I’m sad to report that this bullshit cotillion thing does exist. I never went, but I have lots of friends who did it and they all hated it. However, their parents LOVED to show how much money they all had to waste on shit you could just learn by reading a fucking book. God I hate cotillion. Anyway, back to cotillion.

Sandy is coming back from a morning of surfing and Jimmy shows up in his driveway. Jimmy admits he didn’t ask Sandy for the money because he was embarrassed of what Sandy would think of him. Sandy asks how much money he lost and how he lost it. Jimmy refuses to answer and he is so very clearly STILL HAVING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS, which only Sandy seems to notice.

Kirsten takes Seth and Ryan to the county club to get a tux fitted. Marissa is picking up her shit at the club and her and Ryan breathily ‘hey’ at each other for not even remotely the last time. Marissa says it’s great he’s staying now because they can be FRIENDS. Right, they’re so good at that. Luke shows up and flexes his pooka shells. Summer flirts with Ryan in front of Seth and Seth says cotillion rocks. Wrong Seth, cotillion does not rock.

Back in a dressing room, Summer is in a bra again because apparently, it’s in Rachel Bilson’s contract that until she gets a personality, she’s not allowed to wear a shirt. Summer wants Marissa to set her up with Ryan, and Marissa is clearly like, ‘back the fuck off, Ryan is mine.”

Later that day, Sandy is at work when a BLACK PERSON comes in from the Securities and Exchange Commission, enforcement division. HE SPEAKS. AND IS SMART. He doesn’t live in Newport though, but we have to work our way up to that kind of diversity in this show. It’s only episode four. He’s here to tell Sandy that the check his wife wrote to Jimmy is suspicious because it turns out Jimmy is apart of an SEC fraud investigation. Oh shit, Jimmy. Turns out Jimmy has been siphoning money out of his clients accounts to pay for his own debts, and Sandy is semi-thrilled that Jimmy is kind of a scum bag. Kirsten makes Sandy promise to not tell anyone until she talks to Jimmy wanting to confirm.

Back at home, Ryan doesn’t want to go to cotillion because cotillion is fucking worthless. Seth is like, you gotta go, it’s a FAMILY thing. WE ARE WHITE KNIGHTS. Ryan is worried about a fight breaking out so he goes to Marissa’s place to tell her he’s backing out of cotillion and of course, at this exact time she’s trying on her virgin wedding cotillion dress and can’t reach the clasp! Thank god Ryan has shown up. Ryan clasps her up in slow motion and when he’s done Marissa wants to know what exactly he wanted to talk to her about in regards to cotillion. But thanks to Ryan’s newly minted boner from clasping a dress together, he decides he’s definitely going to cotillion.

Later that day, Ryan and Seth show up for cotillion rehearsals and Ryan realizes for the first time that there is DANCING involved. Oh the horror. Ryan doesn’t like music and he sure as shit don’t dance.

“You didn’t tell me there was dancing.”

“If I told you there was dancing I’d be here by myself right now.”

Truth.

Seth then shows off his own dance moves and in response, Ryan looks mildly disturbed.

Summer is pissed that Marissa gave Ryan away as an escort to ANNA STERN. WELCOME ANNA. Fans of The O.C. tend to either hate Anna or love her. I’m with the latter group. Ready for another love triangle? Was Ryan/Marissa/Luke not enough for you? Welcome to Seth/Summer/Anna. Anna is a punky chick who is down to earth as fuck. Anna is from Pittsburgh, and is super into comic books. It’s the female version of Seth, but she’s partnered with Ryan, and Summer is with Seth.

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Marissa has to demonstrate to Anna and Ryan how to dance, and Anna is sensing the chemistry, and luckily, Luke isn’t there to witness it. Oh nevermind, here he comes.

“I’d be jealous right now if Chino wasn’t so gay. What? He was born that way!”

Sweet, Luke. You just wait buddy. Shit’s about to get real ‘gay’ for you in a few episodes.

Holly is having another goddamn beach party cookout that night to celebrate fucking cotillion. She invites them all and Ryan is like, nope, that sounds like a fight. And Seth is like, you have to go because Summer will be there and I can’t go alone.

Holly’s Dad runs into Jimmy and he wants to talk to him about money. He wants to pull $250K out of his account that Jimmy manages – the same account that Jimmy has basically drained. Jimmy is fucked.

Back at Holly’s beach house, Summer is in a bikini top trying to pay people to take Seth over as her escort. Seth asks if she can pretend to be excited about them going to cotillion together and Summer gives him a big ol’ nope. Marissa pretty much starts shit with Luke because she is wanting to talk to Ryan, and Luke wants Marissa to not talk to him, and Luke punches Ryan, starting off a sequence of events where Marissa gets Ryan in trouble by doing Marissa things.

The night of cotillion, Ryan decides he’s not going because he’s not going to miss out on being a Cohen just to kick someone’s ass. Marissa and Luke are fighting, so she decides to not go either. Sandy also doesn’t want to go because he hates Jimmy Cooper. Kirsten and Seth take off and Sandy and Ryan play video games.

Seth goes to tell Anna that Ryan isn’t showing up. Luke and Julie make Summer call Marissa, but she still ain’t coming. Summer tells her that Ryan didn’t show up either and since Marissa isn’t coming, she eyes Luke as a potential new escort, ditching Seth.

Marissa shows up in a halter with no bra at Ryan’s house, probably hoping that Sandy wasn’t there so they could get it on. Marissa says she’ll go to cotillion if he goes. Sandy is finally getting into video games when they announce they’re going to cotillion. Sandy says he’ll get the car. NOW EVERYONE IS GOING to GODDAMN COTILLION. You people never learn your lesson.

Ryan and Marissa show up together and Luke freaks out. Luke cries a little and dumps Marissa, and she gives Ryan a look like it’s his fucking fault. Now Ryan is going to escort Marissa, much to her eternal satisfaction. Anna gives Seth some shit about being lonely and tells him he’s not a man. She gives him a lesson on confidence.

They are now escorting each other and Summer doesn’t have an escort anymore since Luke took off! Then she finds Seth and thinks she can just weasel her way back in, but he shoots her down pretty hard with all that new confidence.

Marissa and Ryan come out of their respective dressing rooms looking like they’re about to get married. They HEY at each other some more. Their names are called and they bow and curtsy. This event literally costs more than most people’s weddings.

Everyone is dancing and having a good time when Holly’s Dad comes up to Jimmy and demands his money. He punches Jimmy in the face, calling him a thief and they tussle on the floor. Now everyone should finally fucking know that JIMMY IS HAVING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS in case it wasn’t already incredibly obvious. Sandy defends him, and Kirsten and him are all good again. Ryan gets in there too and they make an exception for Ryan. Sandy says, ‘as your attorney I advise you to get out of here.”

Anna says she’s spending the rest of the summer on a sailing trip to Tahiti. She is either stalking Seth or they are the same person. Marissa is outside crying because that’s what she does best, upset that she’s probably poor now and her Dad got beat up. Ryan gives her his jacket and he comforts her. They turn around and Luke is there because he showed up hearing that Jimmy got punched. Luke asks if he can take her home and they can talk. She gives Ryan back his jacket and says she needs to be alone right now. She dramatically runs off in her white dress. Way to make a decision Marissa.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Why Can’t I” by Liz Phair

Best Quote:

“We’ve all talked about it and we want to be your legal guardians.”

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

One again! A respectable smart black person working for the government. He talks and has three lines. Big deal.

Weird 2003 thing:

Julie mentions that she could fit in Marissa’s size zero cotillion dress after a few months of Zone. Zone is a fad diet that is still around today but was huge in 2003 for rich people.

Best Fashion Statement:

Marissa’s red halter top.

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume 3: S01:E03 – The Gamble

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Two – Season One: Episode Three – The Gamble

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

Recap:

The episode opens in juvie with a plethora of non-white people available for speaking roles. Unfortunately, they are all reduced to yelling slurs at newbie and white privileged kid, Ryan. Sandy stops in to see him and quips that they ‘gotta stop meeting like this.’ He lets him know that Kirsten’s company, the Newport Group, has decided to drop all arson charges. Ryan has to stay in jail for 30-60 days however because he can’t be released to a parent or guardian, while Luke strolls out like it ain’t no thing. Sandy leaves him alone and when Ryan heads back to the cells, a Mexican kid in juvie who look a like he’s 30 threatens Ryan by pressing a fork to his neck.

Back in the O.C., Kirsten is planning a brunch for her friends that she hates. They are planning a casino night….for charity. Because everything is done for charity in this show. Seth meanwhile, is angry at everyone because he is grounded and his Mom won’t let the kid that burned her house down live with them. Weird, right? Kristen’s awful friends show up with Julie heading the group of assholes. Sandy says he’s off to find another kid to jeopardize the community, joking that he might bring an Asian or a black kid home now, which obviously worries all the women.

A grounded Seth tries to sneak out of the house to go visit Ryan, but Kristen says no. Kristen admits she’s hired someone to find his mother and dropped the charges. Seth asks Kristen if she wants to come with him, and she’d rather do that than hang out with the whores in her living room, so she agrees (I’m paraphrasing).

Back at Marissa’s house, Summer is being turned into a more developed character by switching her signature bikini top for a lacy bra. She tries on clothes, and Marissa calls Luke who won’t answer. Seth stops by Marissa’s to see if she wants to go to juvie to visit Ryan with him, and Seth sees Summer in her bra and basically dies of happiness.

Marissa blows Seth off saying ‘It’s too complicated’ to visit Ryan (oookay). In juvie, Kirsten and Seth have a pretty awkward visit with Ryan. Ryan’s fork wound is very prevalent and Kirsten is feeling super guilty. The Mexican that has been bothering Ryan starts talking dirty to Kirsten, so naturally Ryan kicks his ass. Kirsten decides she wants that pretty white boy OUT of there ASAP.

Sandy comes home and finds Ryan and Seth playing video games and he jokes to Kirsten that he didn’t know she was an impulse shopper. She says it’s not permanent. Ryan overhears and says he guesses he won’t unpack. Just laying in that guilt. Seth asks what happened that night with Marissa in the model home, and Ryan says he told her to leave. Seth suggests he takes those words back.

Julie gives Marissa some terrible advice, pushing her daughter towards Luke who is clearly a very awful boyfriend to her. She suggests she fix her hair, put on a top, and join her at the club to win Luke back.

Sandy is too busy to hang with the boys, and Kirsten has to set up casino night, so she brings Ryan and Seth with her. Naturally, Luke shows up too, so it’s all about to get super awkward. Marissa is there as well and tries to talk to Luke, but he ain’t having none of that shit. Ryan tries to talk to Marissa who says they are from different worlds, so back the fuck off, I need to fix things with puka shells Luke.

Meanwhile, Julie and her bitch friend are talking shit about Sandy and Kirsten right next to Sandy, and he butts right in, bringing up that Julie is from Riverside which is a huge insult (apparently). Julie goes to complain to her husband, Jimmy, about Sandy.

Jimmy says she IS from Riverside and to leave them alone since they’re the ones who are paying their bills right now. Jimmy confesses that Kirsten gave him $100,000, much to Julie’s dismay.

Sandy gets a call about Dawn, Ryan’s mother, saying that they’ve found her. Ryan asks what Kirsten does and she explains the Newport Group to him, and Ryan expresses his desire to be an architect. Kirsten is already planning her future with Ryan as her son when they get home, but to his confusion, his mother is sitting there waiting. They all sit down for a very weird conversation over dinner and Dawn says she’s staying with her friends, as she broke up with her abusive boyfriend. Kirsten asks that she stay at their house tonight. Ryan is clearly very embarrassed about his Mom, who promises she is sober now. Ryan wants to know what she’s doing here because she abandoned him and just left a note. Ryan doesn’t even want to have his Mom touch him, and asks for her to go slow with him, clearly afraid of getting hurt again. She says she’s not going to lose him again. The next day they take a walk and then try to take off. Kirsten clearly is still anxious about them though, so she offers her to come to casino night with them. One last fun night! Where nothing could possibly go wrong on a soap opera!

Dawn shows up with Ryan and is clearly very impressed with the Newport life. Julie is pissed about Kirsten giving them money. Dawn is gambling a little too much and has started sneaking drinks. Marissa cold shoulders Ryan with a dismissive ‘good luck with everything’ and Ryan tells her to ‘have a nice life.’ Marissa and Luke fight. Julie brings up the money Kirsten gave them to Sandy who CLEARLY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT. Things are going badly for everyone except Seth. When Summer drops some dice, Seth is there to pick them up and he blows on them because she’s superstitious. She wins some shit and now Sid or Stanley or Seth or whoever can’t leave her side all night. Marissa and Luke make up with some prodding from Ryan who swears to Luke that nothing happened between them.

Things finally come to a head when Dawn starts to lose money, so she drinks more and eventually falls in the middle of the room because she’s so drunk. She completely embarrasses Ryan in front of everyone and Seth abandons Summer, so Luke and him can help Dawn off the floor.

“Where’s Ryan?”

“I’m right here, Mom.”

“Ryan honey, I’m so sorry. I ruined it. I ruin everything huh? You hate me.”
“No I don’t. I love you Mom.”

Dawn passes out back at the pool house and Ryan looks on, hating himself for giving into the hope that it might have worked out. In the morning Dawn packs up and is about to abandon Ryan while he sleeps, but Kirsten catches her on her way out. They talk about how it’s her duty as a mother to stay, and Dawn says it would be the nicest thing she’s ever done for him if she leaves him.

Ryan wakes up just as she’s about to take off. They share a sad longing look, and she waves goodbye at him. Ryan is shell shocked and can hardly believe it, so he goes for a hesitant half wave. Kirsten and him stare back and forth wondering what’s next. Will she take him in? Will she put him back in the system?

Seth and Sandy are making breakfast when Kirsten and Ryan walk in. They ask where Dawn is and Kirsten says, “Ryan is going to stay with us now.”

The smile on Ryan’s face is…..it’s everything. It’s this entire show.

“I’ll unpack later.”

Best Song of the Episode:

“Rain City” by Turin Breaks

Best Quote:

“Ryan’s gonna stay with us now.”

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

One! A Mexican kid in juvie yells super juvie things at Ryan and Kirsten including, “I’ll kill you” & “Is this your honey? Come here, bitch, I wanna get a look at you.”

STAY CLASSY, THE O.C.

Weird 2003 thing:

See Below. I mean, it’s hard to believe these things were ever popular to wear, but they were.

Best Fashion Statement:

Julie’s soft pink Juicy Couture sweatsuit.

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume 2 – S01:E02 – The Model Home

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Two – Season One: Episode Two – The Model Home

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

Recap:

ModelHome-model

Ryan is back at the Cohen’s and as the episode starts it seems as if he’s already taking advantage of the rich life.

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He and Seth lounge in the pool while Sandy and Kirsten cook a last meal before Ryan has to be taken to child services in the morning. Seth wants to do something cool on Ryan’s last night, “Possibly get some tattoos, hire some hookers and lose our virginity.” Ryan gives him a ‘that ship sailed a long time ago for me’ look, but instead of giving Seth a hard time, he confesses he just wants to lay low tonight. After all, he’s basically staying at a five star resort.

In the kitchen, Kristen can’t believe a mother would just abandon a child like Ryan’s Mom has, but she’s still not budging on letting Ryan stay. She and Sandy talk awkwardly about foster care and how there’s still a chance he could get adopted. “Yeah because everybody wants a brand new teenager,” Seth says grudgingly as the boys come in for dinner.

Kristen starts talking to Sandy about her father, Caleb Nichol, who owns the company she works for. Remember Caleb’s name because he’s about to show up and be insufferable for two solid seasons, with splashes of comedy in between. Kirsten essentially does all the work at their property development/management business and you can tell there’s a strained relationship there. There’s a model home replica on the table and Ryan asks if she can build him one. Bad joke. As dinner is ready, Sandy says, “So last supper huh?” Also, a bad joke.

After dinner, the entire house tries to sleep, but it’s soon given up as an impossible task. Ryan can’t sleep and does not want to go to the group home so he packs his stuff and tries to leave. Seth comes down to see if Ryan wants to play Playstation and catches Ryan on his way out the door. Seth has an idea for Ryan to stay in Newport, so he goes up to his room to grab some things and tells Ryan to meet him out in front.

As Ryan is outside waiting for Seth, Marissa comes out and they ‘hey’ at each other. So many ‘heys’, you guys. Like these breathless long weird surprised ‘heys’ will continually keep happening as long as this show goes on. Marissa says she didn’t think she’d see him ever again and thanks him for making sure she didn’t die of alcohol poisoning the other night. Seth shows up and is surprised to see Marissa who says she’s on her way to her best friend Summer’s birthday party. Seth outs himself as a stalker saying that Summer’s birthday isn’t until Wednesday. Marissa gives him that crazy look and she asks what they’re up to.

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Oh Seth. Always trying and failing at being stealth. Marissa offers to give them a ride and in the car, Seth and Marissa find out they have more in common than they both originally thought. Ryan confesses he doesn’t really listen to music, which is weird. Except Journey, he likes Journey. But more on that in Season 3.

Seth takes them to the literal Model Home that they saw a replica of earlier. Kirsten is having trouble with the contractors so it’s empty right now! Convenient! Just become a squatter, Ryan. Problem solved. Seth starts skateboarding in the empty pool, and the gang celebrates their smart thinking by purchasing some high quality In and Out, because they’re in California, just in case you forgot. Marissa eats some fries which is probably the only thing she eats that day because at 5’9” she can’t come in at more than 100 lbs. Marissa confesses that she thinks her dad is in trouble as a financial planner and Ryan talks about his shitty Mom and OMG, they both have issues. Remember, white people have problems too.

Luke calls to see where Marissa is at, probably trying to gauge her arrival time and see how many chicks he can bang before she arrives. She quietly tells him she loves him, but makes weird faces at Ryan because she obviously doesn’t want him to hear. Ryan asks how long they’ve been together and Seth interrupts and says they’ve been together since the fifth grade, “…when they got their mack on during the class trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Back of the bus, classy lady.” Marissa takes offense and asks what she ever did to Seth. He says nothing. She’s never said or done anything to him. She says he’s the one that thinks he’s better than everyone, and Seth reports that at least he doesn’t shave his chest. Marissa defends Luke saying that he plays water polo so he has to.

The party is broken up when Summer calls again to ask where Marissa is. Seth is desperate to get his name in as he asks Marissa to tell Summer he said happy birthday.

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Marissa is kind enough to lie and tell Seth that Summer said “thanks” instead of “who”. Marissa leaves, Seth heads home to keep his cover, and Ryan spends the night at the empty house. In the morning, Ryan wakes up in a big beautiful empty house and Sandy goes to wake Ryan only to find that he’s split in the middle of the night. A cop shows up and Seth and Marissa talk on their land lines about a meet up plan to get supplies to Ryan.

Side note, if you were born after 2000, a land line is a phone that can’t leave your house, sometimes hard lined in, or if you’re super cool in the early 2000’s, you have a cordless one. But don’t think about taking it anywhere outside the house. It won’t work.

After Marissa leaves, her Mom Julie takes her sister, ‘Season One Kaitlin’ to the stables to buy a horse. Season One Kaitlin is played by a young Shailene Woodley who apparently wasn’t old enough looking or hot enough looking when they decided to bring that character back in Season 3. It’s slightly awkward because Willa Holland who replaces her is the same age as her. So one has to conclude it’s a hotness issue, not a old enough issue.

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Julie asks for a check and Jimmy, who is CLEARLY HAVING FINANCIAL ISSUES because he is wearing a bathrobe in the middle of the day, pales at the idea of giving her money. Jimmy protests that Kaitlin doesn’t need a pony and Kaitlin protests that “China the prettiest pony”. Jimmy says he needs to talk to Julie about work, and she says she doesn’t like to talk about work. She says no one is dying so I’m sure you’ll fix it. Now write that fucking check.

Julie shows up later saying China has alopecia and she needs a new check. Since Jimmy can’t talk to his wife about his financial problems, he calls his ex girlfriend, Kristen and asks to meet her for some help. Meanwhile, Sandy is worried about Ryan, but he thinks Seth knows where he is and is keeping it a secret. Kristen asks what is so special about Ryan and Sandy says he sees himself in him and if no one had helped him, he wouldn’t be here today. Sandy is just working away to chisel down that stone cold heart of Kirsten’s.

Marissa and Seth show up at the house with supplies for Ryan, but no one brought food so they go on the boardwalk to eat something. Marissa hops on the back of Ryan’s bike and Seth longboards around Newport Pier. A fun montage occurs! They’re all so quirky and fun!

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They go to a diner and discuss Ryan’s next move. Marissa says she can get him money to get to Texas where she knows someone who could help him get some work. Luke and his friends come in and Marissa defuses the tension while the guys try to sneak out. Ryan makes it out without being seen but Seth knocks into a waitress and makes a scene. He is caught and Luke wants to fight of course, but Ryan senses trouble and comes back in much to the rage of Luke and his tiny penis.

“You’re a little far from 8 mile,” Luke says, pulling down Ryan’s hood and looking to start a fight. Ryan takes the bait.

“You know what I like about rich kids?

BAM

“Nothing.”

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Ryan sucker punches Luke and he and Seth make their escape. Later at the model home, Marissa meets up and tries to defend Luke’s behavior. They start to argue but then they hear voices so they sneak around the top of the stairs out of sight to see that Kirsten has shown up with Jimmy. They talk loudly about Jimmy’s financial problems and he asks Kirsten for $100,000 which she readily gives. Kirsten says the new contractors are coming tomorrow as they exit, and that means Ryan has to get out of there.

Back at the Cohen’s, Sandy tells Seth that the cops called him and someone fitting Ryan’s description got into a fight at the pier, so they go out looking for him. Marissa goes to another party at Holly’s beach house and everyone starts talking shit about Ryan. Summer, in her one-dimensional character way asks, “Who dat?” Luke says they’re talking about Ryan who is a little bitch and he’s gonna beat his ass. Marissa gets all sad and leaves. Unbeknownst to her, Luke and his gang follow her.

Back at the model home, Ryan lights a bunch of candles (really smart Ryan) while listening to the ‘Model Home Mix Tape’ that Marissa has given him. Jeff Buckley’s version of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah is playing and Marissa shows up randomly saying ‘this song reminds me of you.’ We will hear this song again by the way, another cover of it by Imogen Heap in the last scene we ever see Marissa and Ryan in together (hold onto your tears for season 3 finale).

Marissa says she’s not sure why she’s here, but she’s afraid she’ll never see him again. She asks to spend the night. Ryan says that if she stays, he doesn’t know if he could leave. BUT THEY LIVE IN DIFFERENT WORLDS! RYAN ISN’T LIKE HER! GO! GO! Ryan and Marissa emo it out for a few minutes before Marissa is told to leave and Ryan dramatically turns away from her as if looking at her hurts, and they’re in a fucking Shakespeare play. Marissa starts crying for no reason, gets in her car, and drives away somehow not seeing Luke’s giant truck parked right by her. Ryan changes his mind and runs after her but it’s too late! She’s GONE!

Time for some revenge. Ryan hears noises and asks if Seth has the bus ticket to Texas, but it’s not Seth, it’s Luke and his bro gang. Oh shit! Luke wants to know what Ryan is doing with his girlfriend. They start fighting and of course they knock over a bunch of candles and the entire place starts catching fire. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIGHT A BUNCH OF CANDLES IN AN ACTIVE CONSTRUCTION AREA, RYAN!? Luke’s friends take off, but Luke has a change of heart and comes back for a beaten and bloody Ryan. He drags him out of the house to safety before taking off and leaving him there. He tells Ryan to run, but Ryan can’t exactly move that quickly after getting his ass kicked.

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Marissa comes home crying and Jimmy, while bragging to Julie about how he took care of his work problem (AKA Kristen gave him money), gets up to console Marissa. The Cohen’s show up at the burned out house and Seth says it’s his fault. So the cops and everyone else head to The Cohen’s to sort this out. Meanwhile, Ryan is out trying to hitch a ride and Luke shows up. As the police are questioning Seth, and the nosy neighbors, The Coopers come out to see what’s going on, Ryan and Luke show up. Ryan admits to everything and apologizes. Luke says it was an accident and says he was there too. The police arrest them both.

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Sandy tells Ryan and Luke to keep their mouths shut as he will be their attorneys. Kristen is not happy, and Marissa looks confused in her too big Ugg boots and weird bathrobe/nighty combination. Also, what is Julie Cooper wearing?

Best Song of the Episode:

“California” by Rufus Wainwright (who also does a cover of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah. Basically get ready because in this show you’re going to hear A LOT of different versions of Hallelujah).

Best Quote:

“You know what I like about rich kids?

*punch*

Nothing.”

Weird 2003 thing:

Marissa and Seth call each other on their land lines because those are still relevant.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

One. There is a black cop who says ‘we have to ask you a few questions.’ DIVERSITY.

Best Fashion Statement:

Summer’s Jean skirt and triangle bikini top. Which she has now rocked three different times in only two episodes.

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 1 – S1: E01 – Premiere

The O.C. Sundays – Volume One – Season One: Episode One – Premiere

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

Recap:

The first season of The O.C. is flawless. It is essentially a soap opera following the lives of white rich people and it’s constantly reminding you, “Hey! White rich people have problems too!” The audience is introduced to our main set of younger characters: Ryan, Seth, Marissa, and Summer (who was only supposed to be a minor character in the show, but who can say no to more Rachel Bilson?), and our older characters: Sandy & Kirsten (Seth’s parents), Julie Cooper-Nichol-Cooper-Atwood (stay with me on that one) & Jimmy (Marissa’s parents). Let’s begin.

“I’m your big brother and if I don’t teach you this who will?” says pilot episode Trey Atwood (the actor is replaced later in the series).

So begins the events that bring Ryan Atwood into The O.C. Ryan’s older brother breaks into a car, starts it, and pressures Ryan to getting in. The police catch them and Trey is given 3-5 years while Ryan, as a juvenile, is placed with public defender Sandy Cohen, played by the grand prize winner of eyebrows, Peter Gallagher.

“I’m gonna give you my card, my home number. If you need somebody,” he says, as Ryan’s shitty drunk Mom comes to pick him up and starts yelling at him. Ryan is taken back to his house where his drunk Mom kicks him out, and when he argues, her drunk boyfriend beats him up. Ryan grabs his stuff, hops on his BMX bike he uses for transportation (the mark of a truly poor man), and takes off.

This sparks the traditional open of California by Phantom Planet starting to play as Ryan starts to call all his ‘friends’ to see if he can stay with them. He calls everyone on a pay phone by the way, because this is fucking Chino and it’s 2003. Only rich kids have cell phones. When Ryan runs out of options, Sandy Cohen’s life changing decision to hand Ryan his number at the last minute is set in motion. Such a great opening to a show. After this episode we go straight into the classic opening of the rest of the episodes.

Sandy keeps Ryan outside his house while he talks his wife Kirsten into letting him stay with them. Ryan steps out to the curb to smoke a cigarette and we see the beginning of a relationship that can only end badly when Ryan and Marissa first meet. Josh Schwartz, creator of the show (you can also thank him for Gossip Girl), sets up this classic moment of ‘Who are you?’/’Whoever you want me to be’. Fateful melodic music plays in the background and we all know this isn’t going to end well.

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Marissa bums a cigarette, invites him to her fashion show, and they both eye fuck each other while clearly not knowing how to smoke fake cigarettes. Who was the cigarette trainer on this show? He tells her the truth about why he’s staying at the Cohen’s but she doesn’t believe him and assumes he’s their cousin from Boston, and that rumor spreads. Luke pulls up, who as of the pilot, is just the bro boyfriend of Marissa who drives around in an overcompensating truck that’s way too big. Stay tuned on Luke, because he easily becomes a favorite as his character gains more background and complexity.

Wow, is it going be hard for Marissa to pick between these two guys: Luke with his pooka shell necklace, or Ryan with his tweed choker? Life is full of hard decisions. Early on and throughout this entire episode, we see Mischa Barton’s ‘acting’ on display. I wish I could say it gets better, but I’d be lying.

Ryan is set up in the pool house overnight and in the morning, he finds Sandy’s son Seth playing video games on the floor and being weird. He asks if Ryan wants to play and you think this is going to be awkward, but instead he and Ryan hit it off right away.

The boys go sailing, which is the weirdest part of this Pilot and feels completely out of place. Luckily they never do it again. Seth says he named his sailboat after a girl named Summer. Ryan says she must be thrilled and Seth has to admit he’s never talked to her before. Sandy meets them at the beach to remind them to get ready for the fashion show, to which Seth clearly believes his father to be joking. Sandy says Ryan has to go because Marissa invited him. Seth can’t believe that he’s got an invite as he’s lived next to Marissa Cooper his entire life, her father almost married his mother (Sandy speaks up and denies this), and Marissa has never spoken to him either.

The boys get ready and it’s clear Ryan doesn’t know how to tie a tie. In one of the most heartwarming scenes, setting us up to see Sandy as the father figure Ryan never had, Sandy admits he didn’t know how to do so either until he was 25, and he teachers Ryan. They all head to the fashion show, which Marissa says they throw every year to raise money for the battered women’s shelter. Marissa gushes on stage, “It’s such a great cause you guys!” OMG, thanks for that shit acting Mischa. Also, these rich people behind the scenes have clearly never ever set foot in a battered women’s shelter.

Sandy points out Summer to Seth and Ryan, much to Seth’s eternal embarrassment. This evokes the great line from Ryan, “Way to salt his game, Mr. Cohen.” Marissa and her best friend Summer, who Seth is obsessed with, are stealing champagne and liquor bottles backstage. It’s Marissa’s turn to go out on the runway and instead of finding Luke and smiling at him, she finds Ryan and smiles at him. Obviously this sends Luke’s tiny dick into a rage.

We meet Julie Cooper, and Marissa’s younger sister Kaitlin (we’ll call her ‘Pilot Kaitlin’, because she disappears for a bit, then comes back somehow 10 years older and hotter in the third season). Julie is awful at first, and actually continues to be awful for some time, but also somewhat lovable as the show progresses. She is oblivious to the fact that her husband is obviously having a some financial difficulties, something that is obvious to everyone, especially long time friend and almost wife, Kirsten Cohen. Later in the bathroom, Ryan is washing his hands when Jimmy comes in visibly shaken, gets in a stall and has a mental breakdown, further reinforcing that white rich people have problems too.

Summer spots Ryan and wants to know more about what’s under his wife beater. She invites him to a party at Holly’s beach house that they get to use for all their hard work for charity. Such hard work you guys. Ryan convinces Seth to go saying that Summer invited them both. Marissa starts her drinking problem early, while Luke openly cheats on her down at the beach. Summer, who is completely wasted, comes onto Ryan, and Seth sees it happening. He loudly tells Ryan to, “Go back Chino!” Oh snap the jig is up, and now everyone knows Ryan is from Chino.

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As a side note from someone who grew up in Orange County, and is familiar with the surrounding area, Chino is not that bad of a town. Yes it’s inland, hot as shit, and the cost of living isn’t as high as Newport Beach, but plenty of places in Orange County don’t have the same cost of living as Newport. It’s not like you cross the county line from San Bernardino and suddenly rich white people are everywhere driving Hummers. You have to stick to the coast, and stay south of Huntington to really see these types of rich assholes (and unfortunately they do exist).

Some of Luke’s gang start kicking Seth’s ass, which prompts Ryan to step in a save the day. It’s two against seven so they get their asses kicked, but this inspires the friendship between Ryan and Seth to continue, despite Summer being awful (one dimensional character at the moment, but she gets better).

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Ryan and Seth head home and Seth promptly passes out on the floor of the pool house. Ryan goes out to smoke a cigarette and sees Marissa’s friends drop her off on the porch of her house completely blacked out. Why not? It’s not like alcohol poisoning is a thing. She’ll be fine. Ryan adorably holds Marissa’s purse trying to find her keys and wake her up, but to no avail. He ends up carrying her back to the pool house, tucking her in, and joining Seth on the floor. In the morning Marissa is gone, and Kirsten is pissed. Seth is drunk and has a black eye and Ryan has to go.

“This is what happens when you let our son hang out with criminals.”

“At least he’s hanging out with someone. Don’t salt his game honey.”

Classic.

Kirsten kicks Ryan out because it turns out she’s scared of Chino, too. Laying on the guilt and regret, Ryan makes breakfast for everyone and Kristin doesn’t realize this until after she’s told him he has to leave.

“You have a really nice family,” Ryan says, just digging into that guilt.

Ryan goes up to say goodbye to Seth and there is this beautiful moment where Seth tries to set up a play date where maybe they meet up in Chino sometime. It will never work and Ryan is the only one who knows it, but it’s a really great moment anyway. Ryan goes for a handshake and Seth goes in for a hug. Best bromance of the mid-2000s.

Ryan leaves Orange County to head home as the sun sets on Marissa Cooper’s face. She watches him go as she waits outside to be picked up. Joseph Arthur’s Honey and the Moon plays, which easily becomes Ryan and Marissa’s theme song for when YouTube comes along, and people start putting together weird mash ups of their relationship set to music. Luke shows up and picks her up and it seems for a moment as if everything is going to be as it was.

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Sandy drops Ryan back off in front of his house and there’s a bunch of junk out in front of it because Chino is gross, remember? Suddenly it’s daytime again, because I guess the sun sets under dramatic circumstances in Orange County, but everywhere else we have to rely on the Earth’s orbit.

Ryan waves Sandy off, thanking him for the ride. He clearly doesn’t want Sandy to see the inside of his home. It seems as if Sandy agrees and lets Ryan make his way inside, presumably taking off back to his mansion. Sadly, Ryan walks into an empty house, furniture gone, all his possessions gone, and a note of apology on the table. Then Sandy walks in and it only takes him a second to be the best human being ever as he whispers, “Come on, let’s go.” So, The O.C. really begins.

Best Song of the Episode:

“California” by Phantom Planet

California is the theme song for the entire series, and its opening immediately captivated everyone. It has to mentioned because it’s the first episode and it really encapsulates the feeling of the show.

“Honey and the Moon” By Joseph Arthur

However, I can’t not mention the beauty that is Joseph Arthur (who I am only now a huge fan of because this show and this exact episode. I bought the guy’s entire discography because of this episode when I was a teenager).

Best Quote:

“Welcome to The OC, Bitch!” – Luke

Weird 2003 thing:

“Do you like my hair this straight, or is it too Avril Lavigne?” – Julie Cooper

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Zero. There is a Mexican maid at one point that Kristin points to and says, “Ask Rosa if you need anything,” but Rosa can’t be bothered to be given a speaking line. She’s too busy making the bed.

Best Fashion Statement:

Ryan’s wife beater. Because duh.

Come back next Sunday for the next episode!

CinemAbysmal

Film | Television | Podcast

The Cohens

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-THREE S01: E23: THE NANA

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY-TWO: S01: E22: THE L.A.

THE OC SUNDAYS – VOLUME TWENTY: S01: E20: THE TELENOVELA

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven: S01:E07 – The Escape

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 6: S01:E06 – The Girlfriend

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 5: S01:E05 – The Outsider

THE O.C. SUNDAYS – VOLUME 4: S01:E04 – THE DEBUT

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 3: S01:E03 – The Gamble

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 2 – S01:E02 – The Model Home

The O.C. Sundays – Volume 1 – S1: E01 – Premiere