The OC




The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Four – Season One: Episode Twenty-Four: The Proposal

Recap by Holly Hill


Now that Marissa knows all about her ex boyfriend doing the dirty with her Mom, the gang decides to take her to a sad movie to cheer her up. Marissa cries through the entire thing, but assures Ryan she’s emotionally stable. Right, because Marissa Cooper just screams ‘emotionally stable’. As they’re leaving the theater they decide to go to Jamba Juice. Meanwhile, at Jamba Juice Julie is meeting Luke to discuss something he needed to see her about when Marissa shows up and loses that emotionally stable BS she was on about.

The next day Luke comes by to say sorry to Ryan and Seth and to let them know that sex isn’t still happening with Julie. Luke tells them he’s leaving town and that’s why he was meeting up with her. Now that his parents are divorced his Dad is moving to Portland and Luke is too. He wants to tell Marissa himself, but Ryan is doubtful she will see him.

Back to the adult world of that restaurant that Sandy and Jimmy are opening. The opening is TONIGHT, but their liquor license has been revoked. Assuming it’s a mistake Sandy goes to talk to the liquor board. Sandy finds out the commissioner of the liquor board, Steve Piser, who doesn’t mean anyone to Sandy, but happens to be a guy that Jimmy stole 250K from. In boring world, Hailey is hired as a hostess at the restaurant and Jimmy and her are keeping their super boring awful relationship on the down low.

Summer goes to Marissa’s who is off to meet Ryan. Summer sees the state of Marissa’s room at her Dad’s house and it’s a disaster. Summer gets an idea. She calls SEth over and they get to work making

Marissa’s room a home again. Ryan and Marissa make out on the pier so I guess that’s a thing again. They go back to her place and Caleb shows up to ask Marissa’s blessing.

Caleb: Marissa, your Mother is a wonderful woman.

Marissa: She is?

Caleb says he intends to propose to Julie tonight at the restaurant. Marissa doesn’t like it because it will make her Mom the most powerful woman in Newport. Luke meanwhile is super angry that Marissa won’t see him so he can say goodbye.

At the restaurant opening, Luke shows up driving super dupes drunk and sits in his car angrily. He decides to go inside because that’s always a great idea. Just as Julie is getting ready to be proposed to by Caleb, Luke sees the entire thing and takes off drunk in his truck. Kirsten and Hailey look like they’re going to throw up and they all start drinking heavily. Kirsten downs an entire bottle of wine.

Sandy: That’s fine I didn’t want any anyway.

At Marissa’s, Seth and Summer are being adorable.

Marissa and Ryan see a crash and an ambulance while out looking for Luke and sure enough Luke has crashed his truck and is headed to the hospital. The next morning Marissa and Ryan wait at the hospital for news of Luke. His Dad tells them that he’ll be okay, but he just had surgery and he’ll be asleep for awhile. They wait a few more hours and when he’s awake, Marissa asks to see Luke. Luke says he’s sorry and Marissa forgives him. Ryan and Luke have a heart to heart, which is kind of nice considering how their relationship started. They joke around for a bit and leave on good terms.

Luke: Welcome to Portland, bitch.

Sandy bites down his pride and asks Caleb for a favor to get the liquor license. Sandy sits Jimmy down and tells him about the liquor board. Caleb comes back after talking with the liquor board, but he can’t sway the commissioner. However, he says he has a better deal for them.

Marissa decides this is all her Mom’s fault and goes straight to Caleb’s office to tell him about Luke. Caleb talks first and says he knows everything already about Julie and still wants to marry her. Then he threatens Marissa with Jimmy’s liquor license. He says that she has to move in with him and Julie after they get married or he will withdraw his deal to Jimmy and Sandy to buy the restaurant they’ll never open. Since Jimmy needs the money and Marissa loves her dad she promises to do it.

Back at Jimmy’s, Marissa and Ryan hear noise up in Marissa’s room and go upstairs to find Seth and Summer in her newly redecorated room. She’s thrilled, but it’s too bad she won’t get to enjoy it at all soon.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Pride” by Synatx

Best Quote:

Marissa: Guys I’m fine.

Ryan: Yeah we know. Why wouldn’t you be?

Marissa: Because the guy I lost my virginity to had sex with my Mom.

Seth: Oh yeah, I remember that.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

None. They didn’t even have non-white people serving people at the restaurant. Truly a white-washed episode.

Weird 2004 thing:

Julie: I had to block you from my buddy list you were so incessant

Luke: You blocked me? I thought you were offline.

OMG julie talking about AIM (AOL instant messenger) is too much this episode. Also, ironic timing since AIM finally closed its doors just this week.

Best Fashion Statement:

Nothing screams undercover like this awesome hat that Julie is wearing to meet her ex-fuck buddy who is in high school at the local Jamba Juice. Just says I’M A CHILD SEXUAL PREDATOR.





The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Three – Season One: Episode Twenty-Three: The Nana

Recap by Holly Hill



Luke and Ryan spend all night looking for Marissa who has disappeared in light of information about Luke and Julie. Seth blames Luke (obviously) and Luke says it was an accident.

Seth: Sorry did you accidentally sleep with Marissa’s Mom or did you accidentally tell Marissa about it?

Julie shows up and wants to know where Marissa is and Luke confesses that they all know and now Marissa knows to. Julie wants to talk to Ryan alone and asks if he knows where Marissa is. He says he doesn’t but Marissa called and left a message telling him she was safe but to not try to find her. Classic drama Marissa.


They boys discuss what to do next and head to the kitchen to find Hailey who they saved from the strip club the night before. As thanks she made them a large breakfast spread. Sandy comes in with a, “We have to get all the bread out of the house!” Apparently his mother is coming to visit for the Seder, and Sandy told her they do it at their house every year…even though they don’t.

Seth: I love when The Nana comes and suddenly Dad’s all Jewish again.

Seth goes to Summer’s house to see if she’s heard from Marissa. She has, but doesn’t know where she is, only that she’s okay. Summer desperately wants to meet The Nana, but Seth says she shouldn’t want to because Nana is scary, judgemental and political. Seth says he has to pick stuff up for the Seder and Summer gets schemey. Sandy is convinced that his mother is coming out to stage an intervention and put him back on the path of righteousness since now he’s left the public sector and isn’t helping poor people anymore.

Jimmy comes over to see how Hailey is doing and flirt with her. Who cares.


“The front door is wide open. A person could walk in here, take everything, and kill us all.” Meet, The Nana, who has taken a cab from the airport and walked right in the door. She is lovely! And also none of the things Seth describe her as to Summer. Everyone is shocked and confused. Why isn’t Nana being terrible and full of opinions? Seth laments to Ryan that something is up because Kirsten and Nana don’t get along and now they suddenly are. Ryan suddenly knows where Marissa is.


Two people who don’t get along suddenly do? Marissa is at Theresa’s place in Chino. Eddie shows up and is pissed to find Ryan. Apparently it’s Theresa and Eddie’s engagement party. Marissa tells Ryan he’s wasting his time. She isn’t coming home. Boo-hoo eye roll.


Eddie finds Ryan and tells him to get out and Ryan says he’s not leaving without Marissa. Ryan gets pushed to the ground and told to leave. MY GOD MARISSA WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DOING THIS TO RYAN. Ryan calls Julie to tell him Marissa is safe and she tells him to bring her home or she’ll call the cops and tell them Ryan is holding Marissa against her will. Marissa sees Ryan’s arm that has been hurt in the fall from one of Eddie’s guys.

Marissa: I’m sorry this is all my fault.

Yes. Yes it is Marissa. Now get in the car and go home so Ryan doesn’t get his ass beat because of you!

Back at the house The Nana is suddenly a bitch again and admits she came to visit to say goodbye because she has advanced lung cancer and only has a few more months left to live. Nana doesn’t want treatment and they fight about it. Summer practices for her Seder speech. Nana smokes because she don’t give AF. Sandy says he called her doctor and he says he can slow the cancer down. Seth overhears the conversation and he and Nana have a heart to heart stare down.


Eddie and Ryan finally speak and Eddie forgives Ryan acknowledging that he is here for Marissa. Ryan says she doesn’t want him here though and Eddie disagrees. He says she went to the one place only he could find her. Meanwhile, Seth and Nana have a little pow-wow to discuss the possibility of Nana getting chemo. Luke shows up to talk to Marissa. Marissa slaps him in the face because obviously. Ryan semi-tricks Marissa into coming back with him telling her that if she stays there it will be too hard on him. Honestly, the dude is just trying to not have Julie Cooper throw him in jail.

Back at The Cohen’s Sandy and The Nana talk it over and she agrees to get treatment. Ryan brings Marissa back to her Mom’s. Julie answers the door and Marissa says she’s just there to get her stuff and go, threatening to tell everyone about Julie and Luke if her Mom stops her. Jimmy and Hailey talk about starting a relationship together, but not telling anyone just yet. Ryan shows up with Marissa and Summer leads the Seder and everyone has a happy ending.

Sandy: How was everything at home?

Ryan: You tell me, I was in chino.

OMG stop it you guys.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Float On” by Modest Mouse

Best Quote:

Seth: What’s the GP RA?

Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.

Seth: Game Plan, Ryan Atwood.

Ryan: You’re just using initials now?

Seth: Yeah, they save time.

Ryan: Well not if you have to translate them.

Seth: GP.

Ryan: Game plan?

Seth: Good point.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

We are back in Chino and while all the main speaking roles for Mexicans look practically white there are a few extras that definitely are not white. They won’t have any speaking roles though.

Weird 2004 thing:

While waiting for Marissa to call, Seth falls asleep with his cell phone and the home phone. Back when people had two phone numbers…..

Best Fashion Statement:

What is this shirt?

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-Two – Season One: Episode Twenty-Two: The L.A.

Recap by Holly Hill

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Theresa is back with Eddie, and Ryan is back at the Mermaid Inn picking up a watch he left there after he did the deed with her. Seth accompanies him and they talk about how now that Theresa is gone and Marissa is out of the picture all the lady drama in Ryan’s life is gone. He’s got a clean slate. That is until they see Luke walk out of a room where Julie is staying and watch as they viciously make out in front of them. The two book it and the next morning discuss the options of their newfound knowledge.

They both agree that Marissa can’t find out because she doesn’t handle bad news well, so they will tell Luke to end it before it comes to that. Summer and Marissa are walking on the beach discussing her relationship status and Summer suggests she be by herself for a while since she’s always had a boyfriend. They come upon a film set, and it turns out that an episode of The Valley, Summer’s favorite TV show, is filming an episode and Grady Bridges, the star of the show played by Colin Hanks, is standing right there. He invites Summer and Marissa to his birthday party the next night, which sets off all of Seth’s insecurity alarms.


Jimmy and Sandy are both working on opening that restaurant, remember that? They’re close to opening it, but they’re running out of money. They need a designer for the restaurant still and Kirsten suggests they hire Julie because she’ll do it for free for the experience. Kirsten also gets a letter from Hailey, who says she’s out of the country again, much to Jimmy’s suspicions because he saw her in Orange County fairly recently. Julie steps in, much to their dismay, and she suggests that they ask Caleb for the money to get their restaurant up to speed. Caleb and Sandy fight a bit and Caleb tries to back out.

Caleb: I know when I’m not wanted

Sandy: And yet you’re always at our house.

In the end they have Caleb move his business meeting with Rivera Magazine, the tastemakers of Newport Beach, to their restaurant to try dishes from the menu. The idea is that if Caleb likes it he will invest in it and if the magazine people like it, even better for free publicity.

Meanwhile, Ryan goes for subtlety when asking Luke about Julie:


Ryan tells Luke to stop hitting it and start quitting it. Ryan says Marissa is going to LA for that birthday party tomorrow night and while she’s gone, Luke has to end it with Julie. Seth is watching The Valley and starts to get self-conscious about how much he is like the character that invited Summer to the party in LA. Marissa shows up and tells Ryan she’s not going to LA because she thinks her and Ryan need to have time apart. Ryan probably agrees, but he convinces Marissa to go so that Luke can break up with Julie. Luke bombards Julie at her porch and instead of breaking up with her he makes out with her and they end up getting it on. Not how you break up with someone Luke!

They show up at the party and can’t believe how old Grady looks and that he plays a teenager. A little bit of a play on how fucking old they all look. I appreciate that. Meanwhile Seth runs into Paris Hilton and she kisses him, much to Summer’s dismay. Then a stripper asks Ryan for a dance, but they are both taking for a loop when he realizes it’s Hailey, Kirsten’s sister. Guess she’s not in Europe.


Julie shows up at the dinner after her bang-o-rang session. As Luke is driving away he listens to Ryan’s voicemail telling him to break up with Julie and he drives back to make sure it’s done. Meanwhile, Sandy is fed up with the people that will be at his restaurant if this deal works, and Caleb being in charge. He says no restaurant is better than this, but Jimmy doesn’t really have a choice. He has to make this work. Ryan calls Sandy and tells him that Hailey is here being a stripper. Sandy tells the kids to head home now, while Jimmy freaks out at Caleb and leaves as an excuse to go and save Hailey. Ryan and Marissa try to find Seth and Summer to leave and also try to work on getting Hailey out of there. Caleb is mad that Jimmy left and Sandy says he didn’t, he went to go save Hailey and Caleb is shocked by the news and decides to invest because Jimmy is a good guy.


They find Hailey and Seth tries to get Hailey to leave with them. The manager of the club tells them to get out. Summer is with Grady in his limo and he tries to put the moves on her. Summer is immediately grossed out and leaves with Seth. Hailey gets fired just as Jimmy shows up to make sure everyone’s okay. Jimmy tells them to head back and he gives Hailey a ride back to the Cohens.

Julie is at the dinner still when Luke shows up at The Cohens to break up with her. Julie tells luke to wait outside her house and hide in the bushes or something. She heads back to the house and Luke breaks up with her and leaves. Julie calls Caleb like the tramp she is and sets up a date right away. Marissa and Ryan hang out in his room, and she goes back into the bathroom area. Luke shows up to tell Ryan he’s ‘Done having sex with Julie Cooper’. Marissa of course hears the entire thing and does her dramatic, “I gotta go.” Probably will end up on a coke binger next episode.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Ride” By The Vines

Best Quote:

Seth: This is clean-slate Ryan. No more women to protect from violent goateed factory workers or pill popping manic depressives. I’m going to declare this month Angst-Free Ryan Month.

Ryan: Month? You think it’s gonna last that long?

Seth: Angst-Free Ryan Week. With an option for an additional week if you like it. Hey, what’s Luke doing here, did you tell him about your watch?

*Proceed to watch Luke and Julie Cooper make out*

Ryan: It didn’t even last a night.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Not a single person. And they were in LA! WHAT?

Weird 2004 thing:

Summer: Thank god I had my camera phone, they are the autograph of the 21st century.

She was not wrong.

Also Paris Hilton shows up, which was a big deal in 2004. Now? I don’t even high schoolers know who she is anymore.

Best Fashion Statement:

What is this Marissa?






The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty-One – Season One: Episode Twenty-One: The Goodbye Girl

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Ryan and Theresa kissed, and now Seth wants to know all the details. The morning after, he pesters Ryan for all the details, not just of the kissing, but of Theresa’s plans. If she’s dropped out of high school to get away from Eddie is she going to keep a permanent job down in Orange County, is she going to sign a lease, is Ryan going to commute to Chino and back to see her if she decides to go home. Valid questions. As we are getting to the bottom of this Theresa shows up to see if Ryan and Seth want a ride to school, just as Marissa shows up to ask the same thing. Awkward. They gotta wrap up this ‘love triangle’ where Marissa seems to be the only one who doesn’t realize she’s not exactly wanted around anymore.


Kirsten lets Sandy know that Caleb has been named Newport ‘Man of the Year’ and they are going to host the award reception at The Cohen’s. Kirsten asks if Sandy is going to take the case of the Drunken Uncle. He hasn’t told her yet that if he doesn’t then she could be in a lot of legal trouble, but his god damn Sandy Cohen moral responsibility is killing him.

Marissa asks Luke (who is banging her Mom, and she has no idea) what it was like for him when they broke up and she started dated Ryan. Someone is upset about Theresa. Luke says it sucked. Marissa goes the friend route again with Ryan and tells him that if he or Theresa need any help with her moving here or whatever she decides to do she can help. At lunch, Seth, Summer and always third wheeler Anna talk about Newport life and Anna says she’s moving back to Pittsburgh (thank god), which shocks Seth and Summer both. Ryan meets Theresa for lunch and they look at the classifieds to see if any jobs show up that interest her. It’s like Ryan is dating an adult and he is still in high school. Because that’s exactly what is happening.

Sandy: You’re in high school. She should be. You’re both in way over your heads. She’s got no real job. She’s got no place to live. And please don’t ask me if she can stay here. Theresa’s got family in Chino. She’s got a life in Chino. Running away is not the answer.

Well said. At dinner that night, Caleb is over and asks if Sandy is going to take the case. Sandy says he will if Caleb confesses to Kirsten the truth about Drunk Uncle. Ryan goes to the Mermaid Inn to tell Theresa to go home, but she has just gotten off the phone with Eddie telling him she’s not going home any time soon. The next morning, Seth gets incredibly self involved and obsessed with Anna leaving somehow being his fault. Kirsten meets Caleb for lunch and he tells her all about Drunk Uncle and how he’s ‘accidentally’ stumbled into important people’s hotel rooms for information before….but this is the first time he’s gotten caught. I’m pretty sure it’s before noon and Kiki is already drinking. When you’re Dad is a dick and gets you into legal trouble without your knowledge you drink early. Kirsten tells Sandy to not take the case. She will get outside counsel because she doesn’t want him involved.

Marissa tries to talk to Ryan at lunch about homework, when Eddie breaks into the school and confronts Ryan. He looks like he’s 40 so he quickly is told to leave by a teacher. Eddie asks if Ryan has slept with Theresa and he says no. Eddie promises he’s not letting Theresa go without a fight. Marissa witnesses everything and later asks Ryan if Theresa wants to come to Caleb’s party. Ryan says she doesn’t have a dress for something like that and then is incredibly rude to Marissa. Nice job Ryan. No seriously, nice job. Butt out Marissa.

Ryan goes to Theresa’s hotel and they proceed to sleep together. Eddie watches in his car outside, and thinks that Ryan lied to him. I mean he technically didn’t. When Eddie asked if they slept together they hadn’t yet. And now they have. Oops. Ryan kind of half heartedly invites Theresa to Caleb’s party the next morning, and since she gets the feeling that he doesn’t actually want her there she says she doesn’t want to go.

Sandy goes golfing to find an old DA buddy of his trying to get information out of Drunk Uncle as to who he works for. This worries Sandy because Kirsten is probably screwed, but the DA lets slip a lead that Sandy might be able to take advantage of. Marissa stops by Theresa’s hotel to see if she wants to go to the party and brings her dresses of hers to try on. Summer talks to Ryan about how Marissa still loves him, and that the Oliver thing was messed up but that Marissa makes mistakes just like everyone else. Except you know, her mistakes usually involve someone going to jail or dying. On cue, Marissa walks in with Theresa much to Ryan’s surprise. Anna shows up to say goodbye, but can’t bring herself to say bye to Seth so she gives Ryan a letter to give to him instead.


Luke flirts with Julie and Jimmy notices right away. Pretty gross. Jimmy tells Julie that if Marissa finds out it would destroy Marissa. Julie denies everything. Sandy gets an important call and goes to tell Caleb that he can make everything go away if Caleb agrees to an under the table deal to make some guy their chief lumber supplier for their next contract and it’s gonna be expensive. Essentially Sandy has broken the law to make sure his wife is protected. Meanwhile, Eddie shows up to confront Ryan and realizes it’s an open door party so he walks right in. He confronts Theresa, and Ryan of course steps in and ends up getting punched and ruining the party. Theresa says she needs to sort things out with Eddie.


Seth says he can’t believe Anna didn’t show up and Ryan gives him the letter, which is now completed smeared from being punched into the pool. Summer is upset because Seth is so focused on Anna and the letter and she’s getting insecure about their relationship again. Seth says it’s not like that, Anna is his friend and he doesn’t want her to leave. Summer says he should stop her then. Seth asks Ryan to drive him to the airport and Ryan tells Theresa he’ll meet her at the hotel later. Ryan turns on his jams and Seth asks what the hell they are listening to.


Caleb asks Julie on another date. Oh boy, looks he doesn’t know about the teenager relationship she’s involved in. Theresa returns Marissa’s dress and tells Marissa she’s leaving. Ryan drops Seth off and he and Anna have an emotional and very cute goodbye at the airport. They leave friends and Seth gets closure. Ryan shows up at the hotel to find Theresa’s room empty and her gone.


Best Song of the Episode:

“Specialist” By Interpol

Best Quote:

Anna: They have chin implants?

Summer: Yeah my Dad does them all the time. He says chins are the new nose.

Anna: So did Picasso.

Summer: Really what hospital did he work for? Kidding! I’m not that dumb. Just shallow.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

A black guy who works at the DA talks with Sandy about the case against Drunk Uncle.

Weird 2004 thing:

Seth asks Ryan if his kiss with Theresa had tongue action, then proceeds to ask if it’s comparable to the Britney Madonna kiss of the 2004 VMAs.

Best Fashion Statement:

Seth’s Jewfro






The O.C. Sundays – Volume Twenty – Season One: Episode Twenty: The Telenovela

Recap by Holly Hill

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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At school, Ryan confirms to Seth that he and Marissa are no longer seeing each other and will just have to go back to being friends. Seth says they were never friends before. Across the quad, Marissa and Summer have the exact same conversation. Summer admits to Marissa that things with her and Seth are weird. Sex is good now, but things are super weird in public. Theresa calls Ryan and says she’ll be in town tonight and wants to hang out. Her boyfriend, Eddie (who is supposed to be 17-18 but looks like he’s 30, comes in just as she hangs up and she shoves a suitcase under the bed and says it was a wrong number. Sketchy, sketchy. Ryan just can’t help but get involved with the girls who bring drama.

A guy named Brad comes up to Summer and Seth in the hall. He tells Summer he’s doing a kissing booth fundraiser for the water polo team. He’s the guy, and they’re looking for a girl and…..


Brad leaves and Seth asks Summer why Brad doesn’t know that they are going out now. Seth clearly isn’t okay with this, but Summer agrees. Anna shows up (back from her hiatus in Pittsburgh), just in time to give Seth relationship advice about Summer, the thing she does best. At lunch, Summer is surrounded by a group of water polo players while Seth looks on in frustration. Anna remarks that it’s interesting to see Summer and Seth being a couple so well. “Your closeness, it’s overwhelming.”

At The Newport Group, Caleb tells Kirsten that his business partner Shaun has been arrested for being drunk and stumbling into a room at a hotel. Caleb wants Kirsten to ask Sandy to make it go away and Kirsten says Caleb will have to ask for his help himself. Caleb does go ask Sandy for help and says it’d mean a lot to him if he helped.

Sandy: Did Kirsten ask you to say that?

Caleb: She thinks you’re going to say no.

Sandy: Well, my wife knows me pretty well. But, you know, sometimes I like to surprise her. I don’t want her to go and get all conceited and stuff.

Sandy says he’ll look at the report and make some calls and see what he can do. Sandy goes home and tells Kirsten. Sandy asks who this ‘uncle’ Shaun even is. Kirsten says he’s a consultant. Sandy meets with drunk Uncle Shaun to discuss his case. Sandy nails Shaun down on the fact that the guy whose room he ‘randomly’ stumbled into was actually a guy in the lumber business who was in town to negotiate something with the Newport Group’s chief rival. Sandy guesses that the room he stumbled into had some important documents in it. Uncle Shaun essentially threatens Sandy says that if he ends up sitting down with the DA there’s no telling what he would say (essentially threatening Kirsten). Sandy tells Caleb he won’t take the job and Caleb says that if he doesn’t Kirsten is screwed.

Julie shows up at school for a parent teacher conference and flirts with Luke in the hallway until Jimmy shows up. He acts in a supremely obvious way that they are definitely having sex. After the conference, Julie thanks Jimmy for doing such a great job with Marissa and Julie tells him she’s not seeing Caleb anymore and she’s much happier now. Marissa finally corners Ryan and they commit to being friends. They make plans to hang out after school.

Seth and Summer have sex after school and Seth asks why she ignored him all day at school Summer say she wants their relationship to be private.


Marissa and Ryan play video games after school and it’s super awkward. Theresa shows up just as Marissa is leaving and things are even MORE weird.

The next day at the Mermaid Inn, Luke and Julie bang o rang. Reality hits when Luke has to go to homeroom and Julie has to help Caitlin with a diorama. He leaves and passes Theresa in the hallway (who doesn’t know who he is). At school, Ryan and Marissa have lunch together and try (and fail) to make things less awkward. She asks where Theresa is staying in town while she’s working and Ryan says at the Mermaid Inn.


Anna tries to stay out of Seth and Summer’s relationship for an entire 10 seconds before telling Seth that he’s a coward and she can’t let Summer get away with this. He has to take a stand and make a gesture. Seth tells Summer that he will not have sex with her again until he can acknowledge him publicly. Summer says he’ll be crawling back in no time.

Theresa and Ryan take a walk on the beach and discuss their lives. Yawn. Theresa says she and her boyfriend Eddie are taking a break (that’s not what it looked like to me Theresa, looked like you were running away!), and Ryan says that he and Marissa are too. Ryan comes home without Theresa and Eddie is in his driveway. Ryan asks what he’s doing here. Eddie says that he’s looking for Theresa. THey’re engaged and she left without a note. Ryan lies and says he hasn’t seen Theresa.

After Eddie leave, Ryan goes over to Theresa’s hotel and she confesses that Eddie is a good guy, but she’s not sure if she can marry him. She just needs some time to figure it out.

Ryan: What are you doing for dinner?

Theresa: Nothing.

Ryan: And don’t say you’re not hungry, I know you.

Theresa: I didn’t say I wasn’t hungry. I’m starving. Why do you think I’m being such a bitch?

Ryan takes Theresa to his house for dinner. Summer shows up at The Cohens for sex, but Seth remains strong and makes her leave.

Caleb shows up at Julie’s place with flowers and he says he misses her. It’s actually a pretty good scene that can only really be watched. Essentially she says, no thanks. So here you go:

Ryan tells Seth all about this Theresa drama, and when Ryan and Theresa go to the table, Kirsten and Sandy confront Seth about the situation, which he boils down:


Marissa is sitting on the couch moping, but Jimmy comes in and asks what’s wrong. She tells him about Ryan and her trying to be friends and Jimmy (ONCE AGAIN) gives her terrible advice to take a stand (STOP, JIMMY), and go over there and tell him how you feel. Marissa marches right over and into a very awkward Cohen dinner with Theresa and Ryan both. Telenovela indeed.

The next day Summer apologizes to Anna about how things ended with her and Seth and began with her and Seth. Anna tells SUmmer she doesn’t have to ignore Seth. Anna tells Summer that that Summer is either really evil or something else is going on. Summer confesses that she doesn’t know why SEth likes her. He’s way smarter, they have nothing in common and Summer is worried that he will get bored with her. THen when everyone knows they’re dating then everyone will know when he breaks up with her. Sounds like she needs a GRAND GESTURE OF LOVE.

Ryan goes to Eddie’s work to tell him that he did see Theresa. Ryan says he doesn’t know if he loves Theresa, but Eddie says that he does and he wants to take care of her. Eddie says Ryan can either help convince Theresa to get back together with him, or get ready for fight for her, because he’s not giving up on her. Julie calls Luke for a booty call at the Mermaid Inn and Marissa goes to the same hotel to talk to Theresa about Ryan.


In one of the most memorable scenes of The OC, Summer is at her kissing booth when Seth gets up and makes his gesture. He makes everyone leave and stands up on the kissing booth declaring his love for her. Summer gets up and they make up and make out. Awwwww.

Theresa calls Eddie, but while she’s waiting for him to come to the phone Ryan shows up. They make out and presumably dooooo itttttt (this is relevant later). I give this episode 5 yawns out of 5 yawns.

Best Song of the Episode:

“Something Pretty” by Patrick Park

Best Quote:

Julie: I’m Marissa’s mother and you’re a student at this school. We can’t do this.

Luke: You mean it’s over?

Julie: No. I mean, in the hallway. I’ll see you tonight.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Again Theresa is kind of there? So just her.

Weird 2004 thing:

These hats? Why did we like these hats in the early 2000s?! See below for more.

Best Fashion Statement:


The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven: S01:E07 – The Escape


The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven – Season One: Episode Seven – The Escape

Recap by Holly Hill


Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.



Ya’ll ready for a dramatic AF episode? Seth and Ryan are discussing alibis which isn’t a good sign. Seth says he goes to San Diego Comic-Con every year so it’s the perfect cover up, his parents will never guess where they are really going. Where is that? TO TJ OF COURSE! As The OC kids call it anyway…in plain people speak they mean Tijuana, Mexico. One last hurrah before school starts in the fall. Apparently it’s a tradition for the cool kids and now that Seth has made out with Summer he is dying to go as well.

Ryan doesn’t feel comfortable lying to Seth’s parents and he also doesn’t want to run into Marissa, so he’s not really into the idea. Sandy walks into the kitchen all dressed up for his an annual job interview. It’s with a private law firm and he always gets a great meal out of it which is why he goes, but he turns them down each time because he loves his work as a public defender. Never say never.

Sandy: “How long until you two are leaving on your trip?”

Seth: “I don’t know Ryan, how soon?”

Ryan: “Tomorrow.”

Seth: “Don’t you mean…mañana?”

It’s like Seth is trying to get caught going to Mexico.


At Marissa’s house, Marissa and Summer talk about plans for Tijuana. Summer wants the deets on Marissa and Luke’s hook up. Summer says she should just have sex with him again because it’s way better the second time. Because Summer obviously has lots of experience with sex….or so she says.

Jimmy is on the phone trying to get an apartment ready for him to move into. He is clearly distressed and has not told his kids that he and Julie are getting a divorce. He goes over to Kirsten’s to ask if she knows anyone who can get him a place to live. She says she’ll call her realtor.

Later, Marissa and Luke are making out and he says he can’t wait to go to Tijuana because it’s so romantic. Marissa says it’s gross there. She’s not wrong. Why are they all going to Tijuana again? I guess because they can drink legally there? Marissa says she’s not sure about TJ (AKA Tijuana. God why do they call it that??). She isn’t sure about leaving her Dad alone because she can tell something is wrong. Luke is all mad because she’s backing out of their fuck fest in TJ for her Dad, because Luke’s capacity for empathy is about as tiny as his dick is.


At Ryan’s work, Seth is talking to Ryan about his kiss with Summer. Luke and Marissa walk in and Luke grabs a table so Marissa and Ryan can hey at each other. Ryan asks her how she is and she says last time she saw him he had his hands full of a 24 year old’s ass. Why do you care Marissa? You’re with Luke now, remember? She goes to sit with Luke, Summer, and Holly. She and Holly awkwardly say hi. Things are still not quite right since her dad beat up her dad. Or whatever. Also that time Holly secretly made out with Luke a lot while they were still kind of dating. Marissa tells the gang that she’s baking out of going to TJ.

From the bar, Seth is eavesdropping on the group. Summer doesn’t have a ride without Marissa and she is totally bummed. Meanwhile, behind a fish tank, Holly tries to get Luke to cheat on Marissa with her in TJ. Ryan gives them the ‘eye’ and Luke pretends he was just checking out the clown fish. Seth gets up to invite Summer to drive with him and Ryan to TJ. She gives him a ‘who the hell are you, I don’t remember making out with you’ look. The next day Summer arrives in front of the Cohens with a million bags, ready to hit the road with Ryan and Seth. Sandy comes out to introduce himself saying he didn’t know she was into comic con.

Summer: “Comic books? Ew!”

Seth: “She goes for the Anime.”

Summer goes to say goodbye to Marissa, and when Jimmy asks why she’s still there she says she wanted to spend time with him. Jimmy makes up an excuse that he made plans so he can’t hang out and suddenly Marissa is going to TJ with Summer, Seth, and Ryan.

Kirsten helps Jimmy paint his apartment. Kirsten is very sympathetic to Jimmy’s situation. She presses him to call Marissa because if she comes home and he’s not there, she’s going to be really upset.

Summer and Seth are fighting over music, directions, and when they’ll arrive. Just about everything. They’re practically already married at this point.

Summer: “Somebody drives like an old woman.”

Seth: “Who talks like that?”

In the back seat, Marissa is being rude to Ryan. The AC in the car is broken so Summer complains about her hair.

Summer: “You’re jewish?”

Seth: “Yes it’s why I feel so comfortable in this desert heat.”

Summer takes some time to continue her complaining, but this time about the music and Seth tells her to not insult Death Cab.

Summer has a point.

Seth decides he’s going to pull over and drop Summer off and he pulls haphazardly into a ditch. The gang has to stay in a hotel room overnight until the axle in the car is fixed.

Outside the disgusting hotel where they’ve had to all stop for the night, Ryan is at the vending machines with Marissa who has not stopped being a bitch to him. He asks if she’s ever going to stop being mad at him, and she says she’s not mad at him. Yeah, okay Marissa. He tells her she could have knocked first before she barged into the pool house catching him and Gabriella in the act.

Oh sizzle that sexual tension. Sizzle. Summer comes out in her pajamas which look like a victoria secret’s ad. She tells Seth to get off the bed because she isn’t sleeping on the couch. Seth refuses and she gets in next to him telling him if he makes a move she’ll rip out his jugular.

Marissa gets a phone call from her Dad telling her about the divorce. Ryan listens through the slightly open hotel door. Ryan and Marissa go to sleep on opposite sides of the fold out couch but when they wake up in the morning his arms are wrapped around her.

He asks if she wants to go home, but she thinks they should go anyway. Summer and Seth are at a diner having breakfast and are being mirrors of each other while reading the newspaper and eating. He says that she enjoys his company. She denies it.


Seth: “May I remind you of a time I like to call, ‘The time you kissed me by the pool at my Grandfather’s birthday party.”

Seth: “Face it our chemistry is undeniable.”

Summer: “You know what else is undeniable?

That relationship is off to a good start.

The gang make it to TJ and Summer needs to stop at the pharmacy so she can get some painkillers for her step mom who has taken all the painkillers available in Orange County. Hang tight on the pain pills, we will see them again soon.

At Sandy’s interview he sees Rachel, a hot lawyer who used to work with him at the DA’s office. I guess she works for this company he’s interviewing with now. They start insta-flirting and it’s easy to sense a future marital problem! The company is impressed with how he helped out Jimmy Cooper, and they’re hoping he might be able to come off his high horse and work for them now that he’s helped a rich person.

Sandy comes back from grocery shopping and Kirsten is checking mail in the kitchen. He see’s a new surfboard with a bow on it and finds out it’s from Rachel at the law firm. He confesses to Kirsten that he is actually considering taking the job because he wants to contribute to the household. Kirsten says they have more than enough money. Sandy verbally backslaps Kirsten saying the only thing that keeps her from feeling like Julie Cooper is him because she works and makes more money than him.

The next day Sandy has a follow up interview with hot Rachel. They have lunch and the partners at the firm have sent her to snag Sandy for the job. Kirsten is over at Jimmy’s again screwing in lightbulbs. Jimmy brings up their past and tries to kiss Kirsten. She does not respond and leaves immediately. Sandy comes home that night and says that he’s going to take the job. She neglects to tell him about the Jimmy thing, which will surely backfire later.


At Boom Boom, the hot happening club where all the kids get drunk, Marissa and Summer arrive with Ryan and Seth. Marissa tries to find Luke. Luke is pretty hammered and Holly is pretty grossly flirting with him. They dance and basically fuck each other with their clothes on. Everyone starts taking shots, and just when everyone is starting to feel a bit drunk, Marissa spots Luke and Holly basically banging. She freaks out at Luke as he tries to apologize. Luke says she didn’t think she was coming.


Summer calls Holly a bitch, who announces to everyone that Luke hooks up with freshman, college girls, and basically everyone so they can’t only be mad at her. Summer pushes Holly saying, “Marissa’s parents are getting a divorce you stupid slut!” Seth tells Holly to walk away because Summer suffers from rage blackouts. Ryan tells Luke he doesn’t deserve Marissa and punches Luke in the face. Marissa takes off into the night. You’ll notice she does this a lot. WOW was that enough drama for you? Hang tight! It gets better.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer go looking for Marissa who has gone back to the hotel. Summer finds her and Marissa says she has no one….Luke’s gone, Julie is gone, her Dad is gone. Um, Summer is sitting right next to you, you bitch.

Summer insists they go home and she goes to the bathroom to start packing up their stuff. Marissa sees the pain pills that Summer bought earlier and grabs them, taking off. Summer calls Seth to let them know she found Marissa. She calls out to Marissa who doesn’t respond and Summer realizes that she’s gone and has taken the pills with her. Ryan and Seth show up and it’s another man hunt for Marissa.


Marissa heads to a very divey bar away from all the tourists, downing a handful of pills with tequila. She gets really sweaty and delirious at the bar. She walks out and finds a dirty alley to go die in. Good.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer almost give up looking for her when Ryan passes the alley in question and sees her lying in it. He picks her up in an iconic end scene. Is she dead? Will she pull through! Tune in next week to find out!


Best Song of the Episode:

“A Movie Script ending” by Death Cab for Cutie

Have to mention the first appearance of Death Cab in the show because they will just keep popping up in some fairly iconic scenes throughout the series.

Best Quote:

Seth: “We also have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which lulls my parents into a false sense of trust.”

Ryan: “And you want to throw that all away for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots?”

*Long pause*
Seth: “I’m sorry I thought that was a rhetorical question. Yes Ryan. Yes I do.”

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

You’d think since they were in fucking MEXICO this time at least one person would say ‘hola’ but nope. All white people speaking this time around. Classic OC.

Weird 2003 thing:

People thinking Comic-Con is for nerds only. Once Marvel starts making blockbusters in a few years, Comic-Con will be something all the popular kids will want to go to. Just wait 2003 people. Just you wait.

Best Fashion Statement:

Summer’s Tijuana outfit. Nice late 90’s, early 00’s head bandana.


The O.C. Sundays – Volume 6: S01:E06 – The Girlfriend


The O.C. Sundays – Volume Six – Season One: Episode Six – The Girlfriend

Recap by Holly Hill


Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.


We open on some witty banter from the Cohen’s who have just returned from grocery shopping. They are preparing for a visit from Kirsten’s Dad, Caleb, and his new girlfriend. It’s very clear that Sandy is not looking forward to this as he clearly has animosity toward his father-in-law. Ryan is also not looking forward to it, considering he burned down Caleb’s house.

Caleb suddenly enters and tells Sandy ‘shalom,’ to which Sandy can hardly fucking believe the nerve of this guy. Gabrielle, Caleb’s new girlfriend, is out back for a swim and much to Seth and Ryan’s extreme delight, she is basically a 24 year old supermodel.

Caleb makes some digs at Seth still not being a football player, and he gives Ryan shit for burning down one of his houses. Gabrielle flirts mercilessly with Ryan and Seth in the pool, while they discuss Caleb’s birthday party set two days from now. Gabrielle convinces the boys to invite Summer and Marissa. Ryan is unsure because Marissa may be back with Luke and Seth is unsure because he still isn’t sure Summer knows his name.

Luke drops by Marissa’s house after getting his stitches out of his gunshot wound. Marissa clearly isn’t that excited to see him. Luke knows how lucky he is to have a second chance with his life, and since Marissa was there for him in the hospital, he wants to be there for her with her whole ‘soon to be poor’ thing. Luke gives her a stuffed animal and tells her they’ll take it slow. Super romantic. *eye roll*

Sandy and Kirsten talk to Caleb about his birthday party that Kirsten has been planning. Caleb doesn’t sound that into it, but Sandy insists that he has to go because Kirsten has been working hard on it all month on top of doing all the actual fucking work for his company. Caleb brings up her adoption of Ryan, annoyed she didn’t consult him. As punishment, he says he’s going to scale back her responsibilities at work so she can spend some time with her new son. He’s clearly not passive aggressive at all.

Julie comes by Jimmy’s office to rub it in his face that she had to return China, Caitlin’s horse. Julie says she wants to get a divorce. If she can’t give his daughter a pony then she doesn’t want him at all!

Ryan walks over to Marissa’s and she answers the door so they can breathe/hey at each other. He wants to invite her to the party tonight but Luke is there and suddenly is SUPER kind to Ryan for kind of maybe sort of saving his life, and calling Marissa after it happened to visit him in the hospital. THANKS FOR GETTING US BACK TOGETHER RYAN!

Gabrielle stops by Ryan’s work for a drink, because apparently he still has that job. They flirt and she says he must think it’s weird that she’s with an older guy. Ryan replies with, “I live in a pool house.” Great dialogue. Marissa stops by his work too, to tell him Luke wants to get back together with her. They ‘hey’ and she tells him she doesn’t know what to do or who she wants to be with. Ryan tells her to let him know when she’s made up her mind and Marissa gets all sad. Just make your own personal decision bitch.

Since Marissa can’t make a decision for herself, the next day she invites Summer to lunch to talk it over. Summer says she’s better off with Luke because Ryan comes from a land of knife fights and sex on the hood of cars. Marissa says that’s The Fast and the Furious, not Chino. Well, fuck it might as well be Chino with the way you assholes are always talking about it. Seth and Ryan skateboard/bike by and they stop to ‘hey’ some more at the girls. Summer lets Marissa and Ryan have alone time while asking Seth to accompany her to the salsa bar after he awkwardly introduces himself to her for the millionth time.

Summer gets some picante on her pinky which she doesn’t like, so she asks Seth to lick it off. Summer asks Seth to take her to Caleb’s party, and although he’s unsure why she wants to go with him, he agrees to take her. Ryan apologizes for telling Marissa that she has to make up her own mind and invites her to Caleb’s party too, but Marissa she says she’s already going…with Luke.

Summer and Marissa talk about the party and how Summer is excited to have Seth introduce her to hot, rich, 20-something bankers. So now we understand why she wanted Seth to invite her.

At dinner that night, Caleb says that Seth has a quick wit and asks why he isn’t better at skirt chasing. Your misogyny is showing Caleb, christ. Seth brags that Summer asked him to his party to which Sandy is clearly impressed, because as he says, “Summer is hot.” Seth tells him to please stop. Gabrielle and Ryan eye fuck each other over the table, Seth notices, and Caleb wonders why there isn’t more wine.

Sandy daydreams to Kirsten about her quitting her job, wanting to buy back their old run down house in Berkley. Caleb overhears them talking about it in the kitchen and asks what’s going on. Sandy, without any go ahead from Kirsten, tells him they’re thinking about moving.  Sandy and Caleb fight because of course, and Caleb says he wants Kirsten’s resignation on his desk in the morning. Nice Sandy.

Seth goes to get Gabrielle a good video game to play, leaving Ryan and Gabrielle alone in the pool house. The second he leaves, she admits to Ryan that Caleb bores her. She runs her hand up Ryan’s leg and they start making out. Caleb yells out that they’re leaving and Ryan is left stunned.

The next morning of the party, Ryan and Seth are in the pool together and Seth admits that he’s noticed some heavy flirting. Ryan point blank admits they hooked up, which in early 2000 speak could mean anything from making out to full on BDSM can’t sit for a week shit. It’s a very vague term.

Is no one going to point out that Ryan is 16 (yes I know he looks 25) and Gabriella is 24 (yes I know she looks 30)? No one is going to point out that that’s some fucked up sexual predator, go to jail for child sex crime shit? No? Okay then.

It’s finally Caleb’s birthday and Kirsten tries desperately to reverse the whole ‘give me your resignation’ thing. Gabrielle finds Ryan and continues the flirting. Luke and Marissa start flirting. Ryan can’t stand it and goes to mope in the pool house. Luke is very nice to Seth, and Seth doesn’t quite understand since he got shot in the arm not the head.

Jimmy and Julie arrive, and Jimmy has a plan to ask Caleb for a job. When that epically fails, Julie uses her skirt chasing wiles to see what Caleb can do for her now that she’s getting a divorced and has nothing. Caleb of course asks her to dinner because why not.

Meanwhile Seth is introducing Summer to a lot of rich dudes. Summer later confides to Marissa that she’s meeting lots of wealth management people who, “manage wealth…as a job!” Very insightful Summer. Summer confirms with Marissa that she chose Luke over Ryan. Summer asks if they’ve had sex yet, to which Marissa obviously admits they haven’t. Summer asks what she’s waiting for and Marissa says she doesn’t know. Girl don’t know shit.

Back at the pool house, Ryan is hiding from the party, as well as Marissa and Luke, when Gabrielle walks in and they start ‘hooking up’ aka making out, everyone relax. Marissa stops by to tell Ryan that she chooses him instead of Luke, but she gets all sad and betrayed that he’s ‘hooking up’ with someone else. They aren’t even dating! What is he supposed to do, just sit there moping while Marissa takes a decade to figure out what she wants!? Marissa goes back through the party and finds Luke, saying she’s ready to hook up. Like actually hook up, as in have sex. If Ryan’s doing it why don’t they? She’s dumb.

Seth fights with Summer, saying he can’t stand introducing her to one more person who just stands there and stares at her boobs. Seth says that none of those guys know her, but he does. Cue adorable fucking moment. Seth remembers that Summer wrote a poem in sixth grade about how she wanted to be a mermaid, and is so overcome with emotion as he recites it to her that she kisses him.

Sandy tells Caleb that Kirsten has no intention of quitting or moving. Sandy says that he needs to let her keep doing what she’s doing at the company. She’s smart and competent and she doesn’t need Caleb and he knows that Caleb fears that the most. Caleb walks away to find Kirsten and tells her he will see her at work on Monday.

Marissa and Luke lose their virginities to each other. Or at least that’s what Marissa thinks since Luke clearly has fucked other people behind her back. Ryan decides to go get Marissa back and walks over to her house just as Luke drops her off. She looks shell shocked because I guess the sex was bad and shitty, and maybe don’t lose you virginity as revenge. She tells Ryan he’s too late and she half run/cries back inside. Her life is like super fucking hard, okay?

Best Song of the Episode:

“You’re So Damn Hot” by Ok Go

Before they made quirky videos on YouTube, they made this song!

Best Quote:

Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend.

Sandy: Okay. Oh, no wait we can’t.

Kirsten: Why?

Sandy: I’m still Jewish!

Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend is like.

Sandy: I’m sure she is very well paid. I am on fire!

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Big fat zero.

Weird 2003 thing:

Summer: “Caleb Nichol is like the Donald Trump of the West. Do you know how many hot, rich, banker-brokers are going to be there?”

Ah back when Donald Trump was just a rich d-bag, and his name could casually be thrown around in conversation. Those were innocent times.

Best Fashion Statement:

Gabrielle’s bikini, because nothing says, “It’s nice to meet you my future grandson”, like boobs do.