The Vampire Diaries

The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven: S01:E07 – The Escape

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Seven – Season One: Episode Seven – The Escape

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

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Recap:

Ya’ll ready for a dramatic AF episode? Seth and Ryan are discussing alibis which isn’t a good sign. Seth says he goes to San Diego Comic-Con every year so it’s the perfect cover up, his parents will never guess where they are really going. Where is that? TO TJ OF COURSE! As The OC kids call it anyway…in plain people speak they mean Tijuana, Mexico. One last hurrah before school starts in the fall. Apparently it’s a tradition for the cool kids and now that Seth has made out with Summer he is dying to go as well.

Ryan doesn’t feel comfortable lying to Seth’s parents and he also doesn’t want to run into Marissa, so he’s not really into the idea. Sandy walks into the kitchen all dressed up for his an annual job interview. It’s with a private law firm and he always gets a great meal out of it which is why he goes, but he turns them down each time because he loves his work as a public defender. Never say never.

Sandy: “How long until you two are leaving on your trip?”

Seth: “I don’t know Ryan, how soon?”

Ryan: “Tomorrow.”

Seth: “Don’t you mean…mañana?”

It’s like Seth is trying to get caught going to Mexico.

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At Marissa’s house, Marissa and Summer talk about plans for Tijuana. Summer wants the deets on Marissa and Luke’s hook up. Summer says she should just have sex with him again because it’s way better the second time. Because Summer obviously has lots of experience with sex….or so she says.

Jimmy is on the phone trying to get an apartment ready for him to move into. He is clearly distressed and has not told his kids that he and Julie are getting a divorce. He goes over to Kirsten’s to ask if she knows anyone who can get him a place to live. She says she’ll call her realtor.

Later, Marissa and Luke are making out and he says he can’t wait to go to Tijuana because it’s so romantic. Marissa says it’s gross there. She’s not wrong. Why are they all going to Tijuana again? I guess because they can drink legally there? Marissa says she’s not sure about TJ (AKA Tijuana. God why do they call it that??). She isn’t sure about leaving her Dad alone because she can tell something is wrong. Luke is all mad because she’s backing out of their fuck fest in TJ for her Dad, because Luke’s capacity for empathy is about as tiny as his dick is.

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At Ryan’s work, Seth is talking to Ryan about his kiss with Summer. Luke and Marissa walk in and Luke grabs a table so Marissa and Ryan can hey at each other. Ryan asks her how she is and she says last time she saw him he had his hands full of a 24 year old’s ass. Why do you care Marissa? You’re with Luke now, remember? She goes to sit with Luke, Summer, and Holly. She and Holly awkwardly say hi. Things are still not quite right since her dad beat up her dad. Or whatever. Also that time Holly secretly made out with Luke a lot while they were still kind of dating. Marissa tells the gang that she’s baking out of going to TJ.

From the bar, Seth is eavesdropping on the group. Summer doesn’t have a ride without Marissa and she is totally bummed. Meanwhile, behind a fish tank, Holly tries to get Luke to cheat on Marissa with her in TJ. Ryan gives them the ‘eye’ and Luke pretends he was just checking out the clown fish. Seth gets up to invite Summer to drive with him and Ryan to TJ. She gives him a ‘who the hell are you, I don’t remember making out with you’ look. The next day Summer arrives in front of the Cohens with a million bags, ready to hit the road with Ryan and Seth. Sandy comes out to introduce himself saying he didn’t know she was into comic con.

Summer: “Comic books? Ew!”

Seth: “She goes for the Anime.”

Summer goes to say goodbye to Marissa, and when Jimmy asks why she’s still there she says she wanted to spend time with him. Jimmy makes up an excuse that he made plans so he can’t hang out and suddenly Marissa is going to TJ with Summer, Seth, and Ryan.

Kirsten helps Jimmy paint his apartment. Kirsten is very sympathetic to Jimmy’s situation. She presses him to call Marissa because if she comes home and he’s not there, she’s going to be really upset.

Summer and Seth are fighting over music, directions, and when they’ll arrive. Just about everything. They’re practically already married at this point.

Summer: “Somebody drives like an old woman.”

Seth: “Who talks like that?”

In the back seat, Marissa is being rude to Ryan. The AC in the car is broken so Summer complains about her hair.

Summer: “You’re jewish?”

Seth: “Yes it’s why I feel so comfortable in this desert heat.”

Summer takes some time to continue her complaining, but this time about the music and Seth tells her to not insult Death Cab.

Summer has a point.

Seth decides he’s going to pull over and drop Summer off and he pulls haphazardly into a ditch. The gang has to stay in a hotel room overnight until the axle in the car is fixed.

Outside the disgusting hotel where they’ve had to all stop for the night, Ryan is at the vending machines with Marissa who has not stopped being a bitch to him. He asks if she’s ever going to stop being mad at him, and she says she’s not mad at him. Yeah, okay Marissa. He tells her she could have knocked first before she barged into the pool house catching him and Gabriella in the act.

Oh sizzle that sexual tension. Sizzle. Summer comes out in her pajamas which look like a victoria secret’s ad. She tells Seth to get off the bed because she isn’t sleeping on the couch. Seth refuses and she gets in next to him telling him if he makes a move she’ll rip out his jugular.

Marissa gets a phone call from her Dad telling her about the divorce. Ryan listens through the slightly open hotel door. Ryan and Marissa go to sleep on opposite sides of the fold out couch but when they wake up in the morning his arms are wrapped around her.

He asks if she wants to go home, but she thinks they should go anyway. Summer and Seth are at a diner having breakfast and are being mirrors of each other while reading the newspaper and eating. He says that she enjoys his company. She denies it.

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Seth: “May I remind you of a time I like to call, ‘The time you kissed me by the pool at my Grandfather’s birthday party.”

Seth: “Face it our chemistry is undeniable.”

Summer: “You know what else is undeniable?

That relationship is off to a good start.

The gang make it to TJ and Summer needs to stop at the pharmacy so she can get some painkillers for her step mom who has taken all the painkillers available in Orange County. Hang tight on the pain pills, we will see them again soon.

At Sandy’s interview he sees Rachel, a hot lawyer who used to work with him at the DA’s office. I guess she works for this company he’s interviewing with now. They start insta-flirting and it’s easy to sense a future marital problem! The company is impressed with how he helped out Jimmy Cooper, and they’re hoping he might be able to come off his high horse and work for them now that he’s helped a rich person.

Sandy comes back from grocery shopping and Kirsten is checking mail in the kitchen. He see’s a new surfboard with a bow on it and finds out it’s from Rachel at the law firm. He confesses to Kirsten that he is actually considering taking the job because he wants to contribute to the household. Kirsten says they have more than enough money. Sandy verbally backslaps Kirsten saying the only thing that keeps her from feeling like Julie Cooper is him because she works and makes more money than him.

The next day Sandy has a follow up interview with hot Rachel. They have lunch and the partners at the firm have sent her to snag Sandy for the job. Kirsten is over at Jimmy’s again screwing in lightbulbs. Jimmy brings up their past and tries to kiss Kirsten. She does not respond and leaves immediately. Sandy comes home that night and says that he’s going to take the job. She neglects to tell him about the Jimmy thing, which will surely backfire later.

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At Boom Boom, the hot happening club where all the kids get drunk, Marissa and Summer arrive with Ryan and Seth. Marissa tries to find Luke. Luke is pretty hammered and Holly is pretty grossly flirting with him. They dance and basically fuck each other with their clothes on. Everyone starts taking shots, and just when everyone is starting to feel a bit drunk, Marissa spots Luke and Holly basically banging. She freaks out at Luke as he tries to apologize. Luke says she didn’t think she was coming.

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Summer calls Holly a bitch, who announces to everyone that Luke hooks up with freshman, college girls, and basically everyone so they can’t only be mad at her. Summer pushes Holly saying, “Marissa’s parents are getting a divorce you stupid slut!” Seth tells Holly to walk away because Summer suffers from rage blackouts. Ryan tells Luke he doesn’t deserve Marissa and punches Luke in the face. Marissa takes off into the night. You’ll notice she does this a lot. WOW was that enough drama for you? Hang tight! It gets better.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer go looking for Marissa who has gone back to the hotel. Summer finds her and Marissa says she has no one….Luke’s gone, Julie is gone, her Dad is gone. Um, Summer is sitting right next to you, you bitch.

Summer insists they go home and she goes to the bathroom to start packing up their stuff. Marissa sees the pain pills that Summer bought earlier and grabs them, taking off. Summer calls Seth to let them know she found Marissa. She calls out to Marissa who doesn’t respond and Summer realizes that she’s gone and has taken the pills with her. Ryan and Seth show up and it’s another man hunt for Marissa.

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Marissa heads to a very divey bar away from all the tourists, downing a handful of pills with tequila. She gets really sweaty and delirious at the bar. She walks out and finds a dirty alley to go die in. Good.

Ryan, Seth, and Summer almost give up looking for her when Ryan passes the alley in question and sees her lying in it. He picks her up in an iconic end scene. Is she dead? Will she pull through! Tune in next week to find out!

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Best Song of the Episode:

“A Movie Script ending” by Death Cab for Cutie

Have to mention the first appearance of Death Cab in the show because they will just keep popping up in some fairly iconic scenes throughout the series.

Best Quote:

Seth: “We also have my entire life of never doing anything wrong which lulls my parents into a false sense of trust.”

Ryan: “And you want to throw that all away for Summer in a wet t-shirt doing body shots?”

*Long pause*
Seth: “I’m sorry I thought that was a rhetorical question. Yes Ryan. Yes I do.”

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

You’d think since they were in fucking MEXICO this time at least one person would say ‘hola’ but nope. All white people speaking this time around. Classic OC.

Weird 2003 thing:

People thinking Comic-Con is for nerds only. Once Marvel starts making blockbusters in a few years, Comic-Con will be something all the popular kids will want to go to. Just wait 2003 people. Just you wait.

Best Fashion Statement:

Summer’s Tijuana outfit. Nice late 90’s, early 00’s head bandana.

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume 6: S01:E06 – The Girlfriend

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume Six – Season One: Episode Six – The Girlfriend

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

Recap:

We open on some witty banter from the Cohen’s who have just returned from grocery shopping. They are preparing for a visit from Kirsten’s Dad, Caleb, and his new girlfriend. It’s very clear that Sandy is not looking forward to this as he clearly has animosity toward his father-in-law. Ryan is also not looking forward to it, considering he burned down Caleb’s house.

Caleb suddenly enters and tells Sandy ‘shalom,’ to which Sandy can hardly fucking believe the nerve of this guy. Gabrielle, Caleb’s new girlfriend, is out back for a swim and much to Seth and Ryan’s extreme delight, she is basically a 24 year old supermodel.

Caleb makes some digs at Seth still not being a football player, and he gives Ryan shit for burning down one of his houses. Gabrielle flirts mercilessly with Ryan and Seth in the pool, while they discuss Caleb’s birthday party set two days from now. Gabrielle convinces the boys to invite Summer and Marissa. Ryan is unsure because Marissa may be back with Luke and Seth is unsure because he still isn’t sure Summer knows his name.

Luke drops by Marissa’s house after getting his stitches out of his gunshot wound. Marissa clearly isn’t that excited to see him. Luke knows how lucky he is to have a second chance with his life, and since Marissa was there for him in the hospital, he wants to be there for her with her whole ‘soon to be poor’ thing. Luke gives her a stuffed animal and tells her they’ll take it slow. Super romantic. *eye roll*

Sandy and Kirsten talk to Caleb about his birthday party that Kirsten has been planning. Caleb doesn’t sound that into it, but Sandy insists that he has to go because Kirsten has been working hard on it all month on top of doing all the actual fucking work for his company. Caleb brings up her adoption of Ryan, annoyed she didn’t consult him. As punishment, he says he’s going to scale back her responsibilities at work so she can spend some time with her new son. He’s clearly not passive aggressive at all.

Julie comes by Jimmy’s office to rub it in his face that she had to return China, Caitlin’s horse. Julie says she wants to get a divorce. If she can’t give his daughter a pony then she doesn’t want him at all!

Ryan walks over to Marissa’s and she answers the door so they can breathe/hey at each other. He wants to invite her to the party tonight but Luke is there and suddenly is SUPER kind to Ryan for kind of maybe sort of saving his life, and calling Marissa after it happened to visit him in the hospital. THANKS FOR GETTING US BACK TOGETHER RYAN!

Gabrielle stops by Ryan’s work for a drink, because apparently he still has that job. They flirt and she says he must think it’s weird that she’s with an older guy. Ryan replies with, “I live in a pool house.” Great dialogue. Marissa stops by his work too, to tell him Luke wants to get back together with her. They ‘hey’ and she tells him she doesn’t know what to do or who she wants to be with. Ryan tells her to let him know when she’s made up her mind and Marissa gets all sad. Just make your own personal decision bitch.

Since Marissa can’t make a decision for herself, the next day she invites Summer to lunch to talk it over. Summer says she’s better off with Luke because Ryan comes from a land of knife fights and sex on the hood of cars. Marissa says that’s The Fast and the Furious, not Chino. Well, fuck it might as well be Chino with the way you assholes are always talking about it. Seth and Ryan skateboard/bike by and they stop to ‘hey’ some more at the girls. Summer lets Marissa and Ryan have alone time while asking Seth to accompany her to the salsa bar after he awkwardly introduces himself to her for the millionth time.

Summer gets some picante on her pinky which she doesn’t like, so she asks Seth to lick it off. Summer asks Seth to take her to Caleb’s party, and although he’s unsure why she wants to go with him, he agrees to take her. Ryan apologizes for telling Marissa that she has to make up her own mind and invites her to Caleb’s party too, but Marissa she says she’s already going…with Luke.

Summer and Marissa talk about the party and how Summer is excited to have Seth introduce her to hot, rich, 20-something bankers. So now we understand why she wanted Seth to invite her.

At dinner that night, Caleb says that Seth has a quick wit and asks why he isn’t better at skirt chasing. Your misogyny is showing Caleb, christ. Seth brags that Summer asked him to his party to which Sandy is clearly impressed, because as he says, “Summer is hot.” Seth tells him to please stop. Gabrielle and Ryan eye fuck each other over the table, Seth notices, and Caleb wonders why there isn’t more wine.

Sandy daydreams to Kirsten about her quitting her job, wanting to buy back their old run down house in Berkley. Caleb overhears them talking about it in the kitchen and asks what’s going on. Sandy, without any go ahead from Kirsten, tells him they’re thinking about moving.  Sandy and Caleb fight because of course, and Caleb says he wants Kirsten’s resignation on his desk in the morning. Nice Sandy.

Seth goes to get Gabrielle a good video game to play, leaving Ryan and Gabrielle alone in the pool house. The second he leaves, she admits to Ryan that Caleb bores her. She runs her hand up Ryan’s leg and they start making out. Caleb yells out that they’re leaving and Ryan is left stunned.

The next morning of the party, Ryan and Seth are in the pool together and Seth admits that he’s noticed some heavy flirting. Ryan point blank admits they hooked up, which in early 2000 speak could mean anything from making out to full on BDSM can’t sit for a week shit. It’s a very vague term.

Is no one going to point out that Ryan is 16 (yes I know he looks 25) and Gabriella is 24 (yes I know she looks 30)? No one is going to point out that that’s some fucked up sexual predator, go to jail for child sex crime shit? No? Okay then.

It’s finally Caleb’s birthday and Kirsten tries desperately to reverse the whole ‘give me your resignation’ thing. Gabrielle finds Ryan and continues the flirting. Luke and Marissa start flirting. Ryan can’t stand it and goes to mope in the pool house. Luke is very nice to Seth, and Seth doesn’t quite understand since he got shot in the arm not the head.

Jimmy and Julie arrive, and Jimmy has a plan to ask Caleb for a job. When that epically fails, Julie uses her skirt chasing wiles to see what Caleb can do for her now that she’s getting a divorced and has nothing. Caleb of course asks her to dinner because why not.

Meanwhile Seth is introducing Summer to a lot of rich dudes. Summer later confides to Marissa that she’s meeting lots of wealth management people who, “manage wealth…as a job!” Very insightful Summer. Summer confirms with Marissa that she chose Luke over Ryan. Summer asks if they’ve had sex yet, to which Marissa obviously admits they haven’t. Summer asks what she’s waiting for and Marissa says she doesn’t know. Girl don’t know shit.

Back at the pool house, Ryan is hiding from the party, as well as Marissa and Luke, when Gabrielle walks in and they start ‘hooking up’ aka making out, everyone relax. Marissa stops by to tell Ryan that she chooses him instead of Luke, but she gets all sad and betrayed that he’s ‘hooking up’ with someone else. They aren’t even dating! What is he supposed to do, just sit there moping while Marissa takes a decade to figure out what she wants!? Marissa goes back through the party and finds Luke, saying she’s ready to hook up. Like actually hook up, as in have sex. If Ryan’s doing it why don’t they? She’s dumb.

Seth fights with Summer, saying he can’t stand introducing her to one more person who just stands there and stares at her boobs. Seth says that none of those guys know her, but he does. Cue adorable fucking moment. Seth remembers that Summer wrote a poem in sixth grade about how she wanted to be a mermaid, and is so overcome with emotion as he recites it to her that she kisses him.

Sandy tells Caleb that Kirsten has no intention of quitting or moving. Sandy says that he needs to let her keep doing what she’s doing at the company. She’s smart and competent and she doesn’t need Caleb and he knows that Caleb fears that the most. Caleb walks away to find Kirsten and tells her he will see her at work on Monday.

Marissa and Luke lose their virginities to each other. Or at least that’s what Marissa thinks since Luke clearly has fucked other people behind her back. Ryan decides to go get Marissa back and walks over to her house just as Luke drops her off. She looks shell shocked because I guess the sex was bad and shitty, and maybe don’t lose you virginity as revenge. She tells Ryan he’s too late and she half run/cries back inside. Her life is like super fucking hard, okay?

Best Song of the Episode:

“You’re So Damn Hot” by Ok Go

Before they made quirky videos on YouTube, they made this song!

Best Quote:

Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend.

Sandy: Okay. Oh, no wait we can’t.

Kirsten: Why?

Sandy: I’m still Jewish!

Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend is like.

Sandy: I’m sure she is very well paid. I am on fire!

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Big fat zero.

Weird 2003 thing:

Summer: “Caleb Nichol is like the Donald Trump of the West. Do you know how many hot, rich, banker-brokers are going to be there?”

Ah back when Donald Trump was just a rich d-bag, and his name could casually be thrown around in conversation. Those were innocent times.

Best Fashion Statement:

Gabrielle’s bikini, because nothing says, “It’s nice to meet you my future grandson”, like boobs do.

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The O.C. Sundays – Volume 5: S01:E05 – The Outsider

oc2The O.C. Sundays – Volume Two – Season One: Episode Three – The Gamble

Recap by Holly Hill

 

Why Rewatch The O.C.?

The O.C. premiered on August 5, 2003 and ended on February 22, 2007. Or May 18, 2006 if you like to pretend that the fourth season never happened (a lot of people do, it’s okay). The O.C. not only introduced a lot of people to some fantastic music through its heavily bought mix tapes (this is before YouTube, Spotify, & Apple Music), it also created Chrismukkah, and inspired a decades worth of ‘THE REAL’ reality shows.

Not sure what I mean by that? Well The O.C. prompted the reality show Laguna Beach: The Real O.C., and a thousand other spinoffs to it. The catch phrase ‘The Real O.C.’ morphed into The Real Housewives of fill in the blank rich people cities.

Needless to say, despite its shortcomings, The O.C. had some great writing, a fantastic soundtrack, and truly inspired a generation worth of TV, for better or worse. The O.C. is the only TV show I own on box set. I haven’t watched it in awhile, so why don’t we watch it together? Whether you’re new to The O.C. (you can stream it on Hulu) or a long time fan, it’s a show anyone with a love for the dramatic can enjoy.

Recap:

The episode opens with Ryan and Seth BMX biking and skateboarding down the Newport boardwalk. The two sit down to a lobster dinner and discuss fashion. Because you know. Now they are both rich kids.

“Is that a new shirt?”
“Yeah your Mom bought me some new clothes, she didn’t have to.”

Ryan gives him a classic Ryan look.

“Gotcha, you got your style I got mine.”

They discuss Marissa, who Ryan has not called because he is giving her space. Ryan feels uncomfortable with everyone giving him money and as he whines, someone behind them who works there gets fired. Perfect time for Ryan to get a job for one episode only! Because that’s exactly how that sort of thing works in the real world. Seth gets pretty sad about this prospect of something else taking up Ryan’s time.

“Before you moved here, all I did was hang out by myself, so it’s really a return to form.”

Kirsten is having a retreat with her awful friend group and Julie. The other women in the group are OBVIOUSLY horny for the scandal that Julie has just created with Jimmy stealing all their husbands’ money. Kirsten is not thrilled with the gossip, but insists they must go anyway since it’s been booked for weeks. Back in the Cooper house, Julie says she needs to go because it’s already paid for and so they don’t talk shit about her the entire time. Jimmy was hoping they could talk this weekend and Julie is like, this is your mess, clean it up.

At the beach, Summer and Marissa are tanning. Rachel Bilson, as Summer, is in a bikini, because it’s in her contract or whatever that she can only wear bikini tops. Summer wants to go shopping and Marissa is like, ‘WAHH MY DAD’S CREDIT CARDS GOT SHUT OFF HOW DO I PAY FOR STUFF?’ Relax bitch. They talk about how Luke is kind of not her boyfriend anymore. Summer says that Marissa needs to not be depressed because her step mom is depressed and is always on medication and she sucks. Okay, we are building a Summer character and a history and background. MAYBE Rachel Bilson can put on a shirt sometime soon. Summer invites Marissa to lunch, and they of course go to the lobster shack or wherever that Ryan now works at for one episode.

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Donnie sees Luke walk in and laments to Ryan, “That Abercrombie and Fitch water polo playing bitch wouldn’t last a day in Corona.” Ryan admits he’s from Chino and they talk about how that place is no joke.

Okay, time for another SoCal lesson from a local. Chino is in San Bernardino County and Corona is in Riverside County. They are just 20 minutes apart though. I’ve said this previously that just because Chino isn’t in Orange County doesn’t mean it is a total shit hole, full of of gangsters that are ‘no joke’, and neither is (surprise) Corona. It’s actually quite nice. The only thing that’s no joke about it is that it’s inland like Chino and hot as fuck out there, basically all the time. I’m not sure where Josh Schwartz got his info on places in Southern California that aren’t Newport beach, but it’s lacking in actual information.

Donnie promises that not everyone around here is like Luke though, and promises to show him a good time after work. Marissa and Luke ‘talk’ but all Luke wants to do is pretend everything is normal and just go get drunk at Holly’s beach house. Marissa has to remind him that Holly’s Dad beat up her dad at her debutante ball. Luke says that Marissa’s dad stole all her money so it’s not Holly’s fault. Wrong thing to say. Needless to say, they are still on the outs after that conversation. Seth shows up as Ryan is off work, hoping to hang out. He meets Donnie but feels out of place, and doesn’t take the invite to come hang out with him and Ryan.

The next morning, Ryan blearily walks into the Cohen kitchen to find a very cold-shouldered Seth reading comics and eating cereal. Seth clearly feels left out. Summer and Marissa are back at the beach and Summer is in another bikini. Ryan is headed into work and passes Marissa and Summer.

“When I asked if you wanted to hang out yesterday, I was asking you out.” 

“I know.”

“I just wanted to clear that up because I’m going to ask you out again. Wanna do something tonight?”

Marissa says she has to babysit Kaitlin, but she will be cooking mac and cheese and invites Ryan over.

Sandy sees Jimmy walking his dog and offers free legal advice. Sandy admits that even though he doesn’t like him, he’s a public defender and he represents a lot of people he doesn’t like. Sandy and Jimmy discuss how Jimmy is really in deep shit here. He’s gonna lose his license and he’s never gonna pay back the money he stole. Jimmy and Sandy play videos games and ask each other if they are old. Sandy says the best year of his life was when he was 22, when he met Kirsten. Jimmy says 16, when I met Kirsten. Awkward.

At the retreat, Julie talks about how she needs to enjoy the weekend because she’s not going to be back for awhile. She works the room and whines about how she’s just worried about the girls and had no idea Jimmy was stealing! The women can’t get enough of it and suck down their bloody mary’s, dying for more details. One of them gives Julie the name of a divorce lawyer, and Kirsten is mildly disgusted by the whole thing.

Seth tries once again to get Ryan to hang out by enticing him with IMAX tickets to a shark movie. Fucking party. Ryan has to let him down again because of his Marissa date. Donnie comes out and fist bumps Seth, and since Ryan can’t hang out, he invites Seth to go to the party where there will be…wait for it.

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Seth agrees and Ryan tells him Long Beach is a ‘shady neighborhood’ and ‘pretty hardcore’. Oh my god Ryan, no it’s not. Long beach is fine. I feel like I can say that since that’s where I was born. Holy shit. Long Beach is in Los Angeles county, but borders Orange County. It’s like Schwartz thinks as soon as you cross the invisible county line, things start to get ghetto. To say that Long Beach as a whole is ‘shady,’ really misrepresents the place. Sure some neighborhoods aren’t great, like North Long Beach or the west side neighborhood. Go there at night for a party and it might get a little shady, but that’s about it. But Donnie never specifies where in Long Beach this party is. It could be in fucking Naples or something, in which case it’d be just like a Newport party. Hold your judgement, Ryan!

So clearly, Ryan can’t let Seth go alone so he escorts him to what is clearly North Long Beach or West Side neighborhood, because this party is located in a parking lot with hydraulic cars and the Black Eyed Peas pumping Get Retarded (which has not been dubbed to it’s PC version of Get it Started. Very gangster.) Girls are stripping in the backyard/parking lot and Seth is like…boobs. Ryan says they are only going to hang out for 45 minutes. Ryan calls Marissa and says he got dragged to a party, but has to get Seth away from a dancer before he can come over.

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Seth and Ryan head back at the allotted time, only to find that their Ranger Rover has been damaged. Apparently you don’t bring a Range Rover to North Long Beach. The next morning, Sandy is observing the damage to his car.

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Ryan clearly has missed his date with Marissa, and Seth apologizes for salting his game. Seth goes to Marissa’s to apologize to her for taking Ryan away. He says that Ryan is mad at him right now and he begs Marissa to have Ryan cook her dinner.

Sandy and Jimmy go golfing and Sandy says he won’t go to jail if he pays back everything he lost, but he’ll lose his Series 7 license. Sandy says Jimmy can sell his house and he’s got money in equity. This is too much for Jimmy. How dare Sandy try to help him by telling him the truth about how fucked he is! Jimmy screams at Sandy about how poor he is and how Kirsten takes care of him, and to Sandy’s credit, he doesn’t throw his golf club at Jimmy’s face. Sandy says there’s more to providing for family than money, and asks if Jimmy wants to be around to see Kaitlin grow up, and Marissa graduate. Jimmy leaves that decision up to Julie. Keep the house and throw him in jail, or sell everything and start over as a family.

At Ryan’s job, Seth says that he’s quite skilled at getting a date when it’s not for himself. He tells Ryan he will be cooking for Marissa tonight and Donnie overhears and asks Seth what’s up tonight. Seth tells him about a party at Holly’s beach house (again!?). Donnie asks if he can come to Holly’s beach house with Seth and party with the Newport kids, drink their beer, and dance with their honeys. Sweet, ‘honeys’. Cool.

Back at Ryan and Marissa’s date, Ryan is grilling grilled cheese and Marissa brings over leftover mac and cheese. Marissa wipes her hands on a napkin saying it was the best grilled cheese ever – as if she actually ate it. We all know that she is only allotted three almonds a day. Ryan asks if Marissa wants to do something fun and they push each other in the pool. OMG so cute. All This Time by Onerepublic plays and obviously everyone at home is in swoon mode.

At Holly’s beach house, Summer is wearing a t-shirt, which is the biggest revelation of the night. Luke is sad and drunk, and Holly basically jumps on him knowing that he and Marissa are taking a break.

Donnie hits on Summer and they all make fun of him. Donnie says these kids are ‘mad doggin’ him. Then he shows Seth his gun. Okay, cool Donnie. Way to turn into a psycho.

Seth, who has the worst timing ever, calls Ryan saying that Donnie is a psycho and he has to pick him up, basically interrupting what would have been Ryan and Marissa’s first kiss. Marissa takes off because that’s what she does when there’s a chance that things could get emotional. Donnie and his friends are throwing chips at each other and breaking vodka bottles. Luke comes down and confronts Donnie. Seth tries to warn him to back off, but then Ryan shows up. Seth says that Ryan and he should go. Luke pushes Donnie who obviously has to pull out his gun and point it sideways at Luke. Damn those Long Beach/Chino/Riverside/Corona/non-Orange County kids are crazy!

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“How much you hate this kid Ryan? What about you Seth?”

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Nice green t-shirt Summer. I see you back there semi-clothed. Ryan tackles Donnie to the ground and Luke’s arm gets shot. No water polo for you. Donnie takes off, and Luke is whisked away to the hospital in an ambulance. Ryan, being the good guy he is, calls Marissa to come to the hospital to see Luke. She tells him not to wait for her. She might be awhile.

Guess that Ryan Marissa thing is on hold for now.

Best Song of the Episode:

“The Way We Get By” by Spoon

This was the first time I ever heard a Spoon song and have since become a lifelong fan.

Best Quote:

Seth: I do think that from now on, though, we got to stick together because united we’re unstoppable, but divided it’s…

Ryan: People get shot.

Seth: That’s what I’m saying. That’s what I’m saying.

Number of Non-White People with Actual Lines in This Episode:

Zero. Which is surprising because they were in Long Beach which is ‘a shady neighborhood’.

Weird 2003 thing:

Seth’s giant white first gen ipod.

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Also, in one scene Ryan is eating from a box of Captain Crunch with The Wild Thornberrys on it. Not a thing anymore.

Best Fashion Statement:

Summer’s green t-shirt. You heard that right. T-shirt. On Summer.

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