Month: April 2016

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014) – Action | Comedy

Directed by: Matthew Vaughn

Starring: Colin Firth and Taron Egerton

How I Watched: Amazon Instant Video | Blu-Ray

Best Line: “I’m a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.”

Director Matthew Vaughn seems to know exactly what an audience wants when they go to a movie. Whether it’s 2010’s Kick-Ass or the excellent X-Men: First Class, Vaughn consistently provides a funny and violent trip that is sure to satisfy even the most jaded film-goer. When the TV spots first dropped for this one, I had my doubts – a lot of them. But when I finally watched it last year after a glowing suggestion from a friend, I realized I should never have doubted it at all.

If you appreciate stylized hyperviolence in films as much as I do, this is a crowning achievement in that area. There are certain scenes in this movie that will make your jaw hit the floor. Just like Kick-Ass, the film does not shy away from exceptionally bloody wounds that are so insane, you can’t help but laugh. Sure, they’re absolutely computer generated wounds, but god damn, they’re ridiculous.

Speaking of which, the best scene in the movie takes place in a Southern Baptist Church. This is where The Kingsman separates itself from the rest of the Spy Movie crowd. It is so out of control and vicious that you can’t help but bust up laughing. Colin Firth goes full Rambo amid a moshpit of rabid Westboro Baptist-like psychos set to the wild solo section of Lynyrd Skynard’s “Free Bird.” It is honestly one of my favorite scenes in cinematic history and has to be seen to believed.

I can’t help but wonder what Hollywood would have done to this film had it not been so obviously British. It does not take the tamed approach to action films that Hollywood does and instead pours on great amounts of foul language and violence. Sure, a lot of it is bathed in a cockney slang that occasionally requires subtitles to translate, but that’s half the fun. Even Samuel L. Jackson has an accent in this. It’s not British, but it’s definitely a good time.

I think having a surround sound setup in a home theater is absolutely necessary to enjoy a movie like this. I know a lot of people out there don’t have one, but your experience will definitely benefit from it with this movie. A lot of the scenes feature some spinning camerawork and slow-motion choreography that is accompanied perfectly by the sound editing. Home theaters were made for films like this one.

One thing I can’t figure out is how McDonald’s managed to product-place itself so well in a couple scenes. This movie does not strike me as one that needs to do that like any Michael Bay ride, but there are a few instances that strangely pop up in The Kingsman. Don’t get me wrong, they use it in a way that is funny, but it is still extremely odd.

The acting in The Kingsman is great. With the main characters of Taron Egerton and Colin Firth accompanied by the likes of Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Caine and Mark Strong, the movie is in very good hands. And for those of you Star Wars freaks out there, there is even a Mark Hamill sighting. This one isn’t exactly going to pass the Bechdel Test, but hey, how many action movies do?

All you out there that have seen this, might (and probably will) be pleased to know that the sequel is in the works and is due to drop in 2017. With the likes of Channing Tatum, Julianne Moore and Halle Berry joining (as well as a rumored Colin Firth return), Kingsman: The Golden Circle should be just as fun as this one.

This one is really a great movie all around. The ending though, is perhaps one of the better payoffs I’ve seen in any film recently. There are quite literally fireworks used to end the story and it, like the church scene, is a laugher. By the way, any movie that manages to slip in some Bryan Ferry is going to win me over every time.

Final Score: 4/4

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Similar Films: Kick-Ass, The James Bond Series, John Wick

The Hallow

The-Hallow_Still_2

The Hallow (2015) – Horror

Directed by: Corin Hardy

Starring: Joseph Mawle and Bojana Novakovic

How I Watched: Streamed on Netflix

Best Line: “Hallow be their name / And blest be their claim / If you who trespass put down roots / Then Hallow be your name.”

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that you’ve never heard of previously and bites the living hell out of you. This is one of those. Grasping onto its predecessors in the ‘shack in the woods’ genre, The Hallow knows what its job is right from the get-go. Never taking itself too seriously, but at the same time, avoiding any laughable moments, this flick will definitely get under your skin. There’s monsters, some paranormal weirdness and some really jumpy scares. So switch off the lights and turn it up loud.

There is a blast of immediate dread when the movie begins that seems to be lacking in a lot of horror movies lately. Very often, we get the slow burn for the first hour or so, that builds into a bloody, chaotic payoff that just manages to hold the film together. That’s not the case in The Hallow. We are introduced to the characters a lot like in The Shining as an automobile is seen looping through country roads on the way to its ominous destination. Without ruining anything, a married couple with a newborn is moving from London to the Irish countryside, where the father is tasked with preparing the forest for logging. This does not make the forest or inhabitants happy, and did I mention the couple has a newborn? Ok, that’s all I’ll tell you about the plot.

A lot like Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead series, there are a number of disgusting and squishy moments that made me recoil. When I say squishy and Evil Dead in the same sentence, you probably know what I mean; revolting sounds of flesh getting smashed and the gooey crunching of various parts in monster’s teeth. There’s a lot of that in this one. But unlike Sam Raimi’s series, it’s not very funny. At all, actually.

Now, a lot of people have problems with CGI in horror movies. I am one of those people, but I understand it in moderation. The Hallow does a great job of using it when they need to. At times, you can tell the CGI would probably look ridiculous, but the creators did a great job with the lighting so that the effects don’t take center stage. This by all means is a monster movie, so there were plenty of chances for the team that filmed this to screw it up.

Those of you frightened by the creatures in The Descent or some of the fairy tale monsters in Pan’s Labyrinth need to stay away from this one. The Hallow borrows from those films and turns it up to 11. There are some absolutely jarring jump scares in this and the things causing them are anything but pleasant. Watch out, too if you’re easily affected by eye injuries on film.

I think one aspect of the film that it could have improved upon was to further explore the mythology that is behind the menacing force out in those woods. It is briefly touched on as the small town’s unspoken folklore, but there was definite opportunity to make this story as chilling as something out of Lovecraft. There is even what seems to be a direct reference to the Necronomicon in one of the scenes, which again, is not focused on enough.

Really though, this was a great film. It’s vicious in pace, storytelling and bloodletting. It does a great job of building dread, but not for so long that you anticipate the next scare. The film knows right when to surprise you. If you have surround sound, you’re in for a treat as the sound editors did a wonderful job using the rear sound field to assist in the scares. The acting was pretty good, but if you have a difficult time with English and Irish accents, you might need to flip on those subtitles. So switch those lights off and enjoy tonight’s nightmares. This one will do everything to make you feel like you shouldn’t be in the dark.

Final Score: 3.5/4

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Similar Films: Evil Dead (all of them), Pan’s Labyrinth, The Descent

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