Horror Movies

31 Days of Horror – “Trick ‘r Treat”

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Trick ‘r Treat (2007)  

Directed by: Michael Dougherty

Starring: Anna Paquin and Brian Cox

Review by Eric Scot Lemons

Trick ‘r Treat is a horror anthology based entirely on Halloween by director, Michael Dougherty. He also directed Krampus and Krampus sucked a lot of dick for various reasons, but I still decided to watch Trick ‘r Treat because I love Halloween and like horror anthologies. As far as horror anthologies go, this is a good one. Each short film is fun and plays well on the traditions generally associated with the holiday. I will now review each film within the film.

The opening was a nice short set-piece that really sets up in gory fantasm what can be expected from the film. While Trick ‘r Treat in general is pretty preachy about either respect for the dead or respect for the holiday, this one is probably the most blatant, seeing a young woman who despises the holiday killed in a fashion befitting the holiday.

The Principal features Dylan Baker doing what he does best, being a creepy as fuck paternal figure. This story, I felt, was too long to really sell the eventual pitch and the comedy, though dark, is pretty one note.

The School Bus Massacre Revisited had the most potential and fell flat. I could rarely understand the setting and the story doesn’t evolve enough for one to care about characters. The monsters are cool and the frights are fun though.

Surprise Party features a play on the Little Red Riding Hood story in which we see Anna Paquin being hunted by a black figure, but surprise, she is the werewolf and he is Dylan Baker being a creep again. The werewolf transformation is cool as shit.

Meet Sam features the little pumpkin-headed motherfucker trying to kill Brian Cox in his house and though the story isn’t that interesting, the sequence is super funny and playful in a gory horror way. The reveal of Sam’s true self is well-done and visually awesome.

Overall, the acting was great and the plot development solid. A great viewing for any October 31st celebration.

Stranger Things

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Stranger Things (2016) – Science Fiction | Horror

Created by: The Duffer Brothers

Starring: David Harbour and Winona Ryder

How I Watched: Netflix

Best Line: “Mouth-breather.”

Stranger Things is technically a television program. What it plays like, however, is the best 7-hour movie that you’ve never seen. For this reason, I have decided to review the series as a film. Stranger Things begins all too familiar. We are immediately reminded of the Spielberg family-scapes of a 1980’s suburbia and given to a not-so-motley crew of nerdy kids that even The Goonies would probably bully. The 80’s worship does not stop there, though. Everyone enjoys a good helping of neon, John Hughes inspired feels and a good Reagan-era pop hit, but Stranger Things takes the decade and molds the story around it.

I was born in the 1980’s. Before I was 5, though, they were over. I can’t really say I know what the decade was actually like, but I’ve always felt a strange kinship to its music, movies and pop culture. So whenever someone makes the creative choice of setting their story in the 80’s, I’m usually intrigued. Donnie Darko did an excellent job making you feel like you were watching something made in the 1980’s and Stranger Things is no different. The music is blissfully extreme in its synth-heavy soundscape, evoking the most insane crescendos in John Carpenter films. The characters’ fashion choices are tamed but convincing, and even a lot of the architecture looks as though it was ripped from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Matthew Modine and Winona Ryder hold their respective places in 1980’s filmdom. Ryder is excellent as a grieving mother in the series, slowly descending into understandable craziness while she desperately searches for her son. Modine plays a soft-spoken and mysterious doctor in a laboratory on the outskirts of town, and his looming, often creepy presence grows as the show progresses. Perhaps the most impressive character among the show’s adults, though, is that of David Harbour’s Sherriff Jim Hopper. We’ve all seen Harbour before in small parts (TV and film) but this is really a breakout role for him, as he excellently guides the cast through the series’ ups and downs.

The real stars of the series though, are the four geeky kids mentioned earlier. Never have I been more impressed with children acting than I have with Stranger Things. Led by the spectacular Finn Wolfhard as Mike (who has been cast as Richie Tozier in the new 2017 incarnation of IT), these three boys never give up looking for their friend Will who goes missing in the first installment. Will does not get much screen time, but when he does, he steals every frame. The actors playing Dustin and Lucas are excellent as well, battling bullies and difficulties of middle school life as D&D loving dorks. Eleven (Millie Bobby Brown) is also a really cool character and the focus on her storyline grows throughout the series.

I think what impressed me most about Stranger Things was its ability to take so liberally from those projects that inspired it, and make it its own original story. At times, you’ll feel you’ve seen certain scenes before, whether it’s the bike chase scene in E.T., an alternate universe in Poltergeist or Under the Skin, telekinetic abilities in Stephen King stories like Carrie, a synth-heavy montage in a Carpenter flick…the list goes on and on. Once you watch it yourself, you’ll probably even discover nods yourself that I never would have thought of. It’s really incredible how well the Duffers acknowledge their influences in this.

It’s hard to put into words how much I really loved Stranger Things. It’s become so easy to just sit for hours and “binge” on shows featured on Netflix. But when a project like this comes out and there are only eight nearly hour-long episodes, it really becomes a feature film. A couple “episodes” in, you’re going to be facing a tough choice, just like I did: “I know it’s late, but this is so damn good. I need to finish this.” I suggest you do just that before someone ruins Stranger Things for you.

Final Score: 4/4

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Similar Films: E.T. the Extra Terrestrial, The Goonies, Poltergeist

Cathy’s Take on ‘Ghost’

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Ghost (1990) – Spooky Cute Lovey Dovey | Family Fun

Directed by: Jerry Zuckermanbergen

Starring: Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore

How I Watched: South Gate Retroplex in 1990

I know it isn’t Halloween but I got a spooky movie for you all. And sadly, a movie that is leaving Netflix in June, so be sure to grab at it. Believe it or not, I don’t believe in ghosts. I believe in Bigfoots and Draculas, but those make sense. Never been one to believe in ghosts, but I used to.

For a while my other nephew, Stephen, who is Donna’s 23 year old son (enough said), was living with me and while he was living with me, some strange occurrences would occur. Initially it was small stuff, like the refrigerator door left open or all the dog food would be spilled on the floor, and when I asked Stephen about it, he never knew what was going on. So I figured I had ghosts that were upset by Stephie’s presence. So much so, that I would find money missing from my wallet and once even awoke to find the condo filled with a dark and smelly mist, that originated from under Stephen’s door. I was darned scared out of my wits and tried to warn Stephen. I even went so far as to consider calling a priest or exorcist to clean out the spirits, but Stephen got a job in Denver and moved out and all the occurrences disappeared.  I realized later that it was my sneaky neighbor Dave causing all the problems. He didn’t admit to it, but he never would.

So my run-in with a ghost was less sexy than Demi Moore in the classic movie, Ghost, in which her husband dies and then still tries to keep her from dating other guys. But it is Patrick Swayze, so I can’t blame her for loving a ghost. Also there is a hilarious Whoopie Goldberg that plays a medium (My uncle said I should use the joke, “she’s awfully large to be a medium,” but I feel it is too offensive to be included, but that’s Mark for ya) who helps reuniting ghost Swayze and human being Demi Moore. It is a love tale for the ages and when I first watched it in theatres back in 1990, I am going to be honest, I joined a pottery class, but soon came to my senses. Ghosts don’t like pottery. They like Demi Moore. So I threw out my ceramics and got a pixie haircut and never looked back. But I never got another pixie haircut after that.

While it is a bit spooky, Ghost is a fun family romp that would do well either home alone on a Saturday night or in the background of a ritzy dinner party. It has a lot of really cool parts in it, including Patrick Swayze singing “Henry the Eighth, I Am.” Whoopie is hilarious and Demi Moore is beautiful. When the credits roll, you will be weeping from both happiness and sadness to know that a love like that could ever exist and that it is so fleeting. It is by far the greatest love story of all time, rivaling Kim and Kanye West and even Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Definitely check out this romantic hit before it is gone off of Netflix.
Cathy Give It: I give this movie 10/10 pottery wheels.

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Similar Films: Ghost Dad, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, R.I.P.D.

We Are Still Here

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We Are Still Here (2015) – Horror | Drama

Directed by: Ted Geoghegan

Starring: Barbara Crampton and Andrew Sensenig

How I Watched: Blu-Ray

Best Line: “You’re not leaving here. You stay, you satisfy the darkness.”

A good haunted house movie is defined by the house itself. It has to use the house in a way that it stands as its own character, impacting the story in a way that you, as the viewer, do not want to be in that house. It has become a difficult feat in modern horror cinema, something that was taken to heart back in the 1970’s. The Shining and The Exorcist both used their surroundings to scare the living hell out of their audiences and first-time director Ted Geoghegan knows this well.

We Are Still Here‘s house is a prime example of how to use the setting as an effective character. The movie begins with the characters driving up to the house and then shots of the lonely rooms inside of its antiquated shell. Each great shot is dripping with dread and it really does not let up from these first few moments for the rest of the film. Setting this in the 1970’s was extremely effective as well. The absence of cell phones in We Are Still Here plays a big part in this story and I think Geoghegan knew this when he wrote it.

The cast is not especially incredible but it does not really need to be. Barbara Crampton plays the grieving and ever-optimistic mother role pretty well, carrying a few scenes that really needed a convincing performance. Andrew Sensinig does a convincing enough job as her husband and Lisa Marie plays a pretty damn good hippie with self-professed mental gifts. Monte Markham has a particularly good turn as the film’s menacing antihero, growling his way through some pretty dark scenes.

We Are Still Here‘s standout performance though, comes from Larry Fessenden. Evoking a stoner Jack Nicholson from The Shining, Fessenden grabs the screen from his first appearance as Jacob Lewis, husband of Lisa Marie’s bohemian telepath. He seems immediately lovable, providing the film with its first hints of levity from the opening credits. His ultimate scene though, is one of the most intense in the movie, reminiscent of The Exorcist at its most extreme. This scene will cause you to grit your teeth and sink into the safety of your couch and was really the standout of the film, for me at least.

Though We Are Still Here is set in the 70’s, the movie feels like it was filmed in that decade as well. It seems purposely low budget, not dirty, but not very polished. Scenes are awash in a sea of grey and earthy tones, making the red in the especially gory scenes stand out that much more. CGI is used sparingly, Geoghegan springing instead for physically acted frights. There are not many jump scares to speak of and darkness is used cleverly by the film’s cinematographer. The score is not overbearing and its electronic elements remind me a lot of Fulci’s films, as well as Romero’s Dawn of the Dead.

I think why I enjoyed this movie so much was due to how they used the house. One of the most repeated quotes by multiple characters in We Are Still Here is, “This house needs a family,” suggesting ultimately, that the house itself is an active character. This idea has frightened me since I saw The Shining for the first time, imagining that an inanimate object can bend the will of humans. It gives me shudders and this film carries this idea out masterfully.

We Are Still Here definitely isn’t perfect. It precariously rides the fine line between B-Horror throwback and haunted house hall of fame. Some may understandably find the low budget schlock angle off-putting and even a bit silly. What the film lacks in polish though, it returns in a deliciously vicious mountain of dread. It takes quite a bit of love and dedication to make a haunted house movie this well, and to learn that this is director Ted Geoghegan’s debut is very impressive. I really can’t wait to see what he has for us next.

Final Score: 3.5/4

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Similar Films: The Innkeepers, The Evil Dead, The Shining

Cathy’s Take on ‘Dolphin Tale’

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Dolphin Tale (2011) – Cute Family Fun | Dolphin Gore

Directed by: Charles Martin Smith

Starring: Harry Connick Jr (hubba hubba) and Morgan Freeman

How I Watched: Netflix

I don’t have a dolphin tattoo, but by golly, I wish I did. I’d probably get it on my back or on my ankle and after seeing Dolphin Tale this weekend (I was sick in bed with strep throat), I would get a dolphin without a tail. Cause that’s what Dolphin Tale is about.

First off, when I discovered that a movie called Dolphin Tale is about a dolphin without a tail, I was super tickled pink. Cause I love dolphins and I love homonyms. Oh, and did I mention that I love Harry Connick Jr., who plays Doctor Clay Haskett? There is also Morgan Freeman who you may know as God in that God movie with Jim Carrey and the guy in Shawshank Redemption who can get things for people. I really like him a lot too. So this was setting up to be a real winner of an evening (despite my strep throat) but unfortunately, the film turns out to be pretty gruesome with the dolphin getting its tale caught early on in a crab trap.

Maybe, I was a little sick (I had strep) but it just seemed too much. Nick told me to look for themes that may be connected across films and compare that to the crew to find commonalities in perspective. So I looked into Google to see if maybe who directed this movie also directed The Passion of the Christ because they were both very violent and based on true stories, but The Passion of the Christ was directed by Mel Gibson and Dolphin Tale was directed by Chris Martin Smith.

Outside of that horrific scene, this is a family friendly romp about a young boy’s relationship with the tail-less dolphin and it reminded me in many ways to Free Willy, a film about a boy and a whale with a curly-cue fin that jumps over rocks (maybe cover your children’s eyes for that scene too. It is pretty nerve-wracking). Harry Connick Jr. delights as a very friendly doctor trying to help Winter (which is the name of the dolphin, played by real-life dolphin named Winter) and the children are very funny and amusing.

The film is very much a fish-out-of-water story, cause the dolphin can’t swim very well after its accident, but with the help of the humans, learns to swim just like a fish-in-water. It kind of reminds me of a personal story when I had to have bunion surgery and ran out of medical leave days and had to return to work. I rented a scooter, but my cubicle is real small so I would leave it by Anton’s office and hobble in. The first couple days, Anton would trip over my scooter and curse under his breath, but by Wednesday he was learning to walk around my scooter, and for that I am really proud of him.

Sorry for the late post this week. I hate to say it, but I have strep throat. If anyone has any good remedies, send them along in the comments.
Cathy Gives It: I give this film 10/10 scooters for Anton.

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Similar Films: Free Willy, Dolphin Tale 2, The Passion of the Christ

Crimson Peak

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Crimson Peak (2015) – Horror | Drama

Directed by: Guillermo Del Toro

Starring: Mia Wasikowska and Tom Hiddleston

How I Watched: Amazon Instant Video

Best Line: “A house as old as this one becomes, in time, a living thing. It starts holding onto things. Keeping them alive when they shouldn’t be.”

Let me begin by warning you that this movie is not scary in the way that you’d expect an R-rated haunted house flick directed by Guillermo Del Toro to be. Crimson Peak is at times, uncomfortably frightening but it just manages to avoid terrifying you into oblivion. Its story instead grows increasingly insidious as it progresses and is almost surgical in its mental burrowing of the viewer. What it will not do however, is cripple you into fear like some scenes in The Conjuring or The Exorcist. Crimson Peak is a classically well-told ghost story built upon the back of a Victorian era love affair.

Those of you that are now planning to avoid this one due to the words, “Victorian era love affair,” hey, I don’t blame you. From the trailers, I could tell that this one was possibly more Jane Eyre than Del Toro’s exceedingly brutal Pan’s Labyrinth or The Devil’s Backbone. When all is said and done though, trust me, it works. Fear not, thy testosterone. There’s enough tense moments in Crimson Peak to get at least a couple nods out of even the most jaded Horror film aficionado.

If you’re familiar with Del Toro’s track record, you know he’s made some pretty solid films. Including the two mentioned above, he’s credited with the insane Cronos, the Hellboy series and Pacific Rim. Sure, Mimic and Blade II weren’t exactly Citizen Kane, but c’mon. Everybody is allowed to slip up once in a while. While The Devil’s Backbone is his only other true ghost story, there were plenty of horrifying scenes in Pan’s Labyrinth, as well as movies he helped produce like The Orphanage and Mama, so I was not worried that he could handle the task of scaring us again.

For a little background on the film itself, the story features a young American writer that is swept off her feet by a mysterious entrepreneur that lives in a haunted British estate. For a bit, I felt the movie was going to be like 2012’s The Woman in Black. English accents swept over the lines and it started to seem as it was going to be a costume-themed period piece, until it really began to pick up once the story moved to this British estate. Those that have picked up on it might have already realized that the estate is called ‘Crimson Peak.’ I won’t tell you why but really, the more I think about it, the stranger this story gets.

The cast in Crimson Peak is pretty good, but it’s not exactly something to write home about. I was a bit disappointed that Del Toro didn’t manage to slip stalwart Ron Perlman anywhere in the movie, but hey, Doug Jones made it in so I guess I can forgive the man. Leads Wasikowska and Hiddleston do enough the keep the story going, but I really think this one belongs to Jessica Chastain. Del Toro is famous for his absolutely stone cold, evil villains and Chastain does not break this chain. It’s pretty refreshing to see her play a character that is not emotionally or morally confounded in a muddled thriller and she definitely steals the show from the rest of the cast.

As I mentioned above, this movie isn’t going to turn your blood cold. A few scenes will have you gripping the arms of the couch (if you’re in the right mood), but honestly, Crimson Peak is just more of a really cool movie. The cinematography is absolutely stunning and though I felt Guillermo was a bit liberal with some of the CGI effects, it was not enough to take away from the tale itself. Del Toro weaves his story intricately with those scares and avoids the easy jump-frights that a good number of recent horror films are guilty of. He instead takes the opportunity to build the terror like a layered cake, until those final few moments when he knows he has you roped in and invested in the storyline.

Final Score: 3.5/4

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Similar Films: The Others, The Devil’s Backbone, The Shining

The Hallow

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The Hallow (2015) – Horror

Directed by: Corin Hardy

Starring: Joseph Mawle and Bojana Novakovic

How I Watched: Streamed on Netflix

Best Line: “Hallow be their name / And blest be their claim / If you who trespass put down roots / Then Hallow be your name.”

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that you’ve never heard of previously and bites the living hell out of you. This is one of those. Grasping onto its predecessors in the ‘shack in the woods’ genre, The Hallow knows what its job is right from the get-go. Never taking itself too seriously, but at the same time, avoiding any laughable moments, this flick will definitely get under your skin. There’s monsters, some paranormal weirdness and some really jumpy scares. So switch off the lights and turn it up loud.

There is a blast of immediate dread when the movie begins that seems to be lacking in a lot of horror movies lately. Very often, we get the slow burn for the first hour or so, that builds into a bloody, chaotic payoff that just manages to hold the film together. That’s not the case in The Hallow. We are introduced to the characters a lot like in The Shining as an automobile is seen looping through country roads on the way to its ominous destination. Without ruining anything, a married couple with a newborn is moving from London to the Irish countryside, where the father is tasked with preparing the forest for logging. This does not make the forest or inhabitants happy, and did I mention the couple has a newborn? Ok, that’s all I’ll tell you about the plot.

A lot like Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead series, there are a number of disgusting and squishy moments that made me recoil. When I say squishy and Evil Dead in the same sentence, you probably know what I mean; revolting sounds of flesh getting smashed and the gooey crunching of various parts in monster’s teeth. There’s a lot of that in this one. But unlike Sam Raimi’s series, it’s not very funny. At all, actually.

Now, a lot of people have problems with CGI in horror movies. I am one of those people, but I understand it in moderation. The Hallow does a great job of using it when they need to. At times, you can tell the CGI would probably look ridiculous, but the creators did a great job with the lighting so that the effects don’t take center stage. This by all means is a monster movie, so there were plenty of chances for the team that filmed this to screw it up.

Those of you frightened by the creatures in The Descent or some of the fairy tale monsters in Pan’s Labyrinth need to stay away from this one. The Hallow borrows from those films and turns it up to 11. There are some absolutely jarring jump scares in this and the things causing them are anything but pleasant. Watch out, too if you’re easily affected by eye injuries on film.

I think one aspect of the film that it could have improved upon was to further explore the mythology that is behind the menacing force out in those woods. It is briefly touched on as the small town’s unspoken folklore, but there was definite opportunity to make this story as chilling as something out of Lovecraft. There is even what seems to be a direct reference to the Necronomicon in one of the scenes, which again, is not focused on enough.

Really though, this was a great film. It’s vicious in pace, storytelling and bloodletting. It does a great job of building dread, but not for so long that you anticipate the next scare. The film knows right when to surprise you. If you have surround sound, you’re in for a treat as the sound editors did a wonderful job using the rear sound field to assist in the scares. The acting was pretty good, but if you have a difficult time with English and Irish accents, you might need to flip on those subtitles. So switch those lights off and enjoy tonight’s nightmares. This one will do everything to make you feel like you shouldn’t be in the dark.

 

Final Score: 3.5/4

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Similar Films: Evil Dead (all of them), Pan’s Labyrinth, The Descent