Netflix Movies

Antibirth

antibirth

Antibirth (2016) – Horror

Directed by: Danny Perez

Starring: Natasha Lyonne and Chloe Sevigny

How I Watched: Netflix

Review by Eric Scot Lemons

So there is this movie on Netflix called Antibirth and it is basically about Natasha Lyonne getting super pregnant despite not having sex after her recent miscarriage during a drunken bender in some white trash, creeptown tavern. I was interested in seeing this movie when it was On Demand through my local cable provider around Halloween time, but then I saw 31 by Rob Zombie instead. So once it came on Netflix, I was all, “Hey that’s the lady from Orange is the New Black and Slums of Beverly Hills and But I’m a Cheerleader, plus it has Chloe Sevigny, and they both play burnout, drug addict lowlifes and I really like films like that. So I watched it.

But this movie is fucking weird. And generally, I say that in the most lovingly complimentary way possible, but this movie, not so much. The best way to describe this film in a completely derivative fashion is that it is like Cabin Fever meets Rosemary’s Baby if directed by Rob Zombie in an attempt to woo Harmony Korine. The characters are white trash, but in that punk rock way that only independent filmmakers tend to see them; larger than life, spewing profanities like phlegm at the slightest provocation while taking bong rips and shitting with the door open. Natasha Lyonne is really wonderful in this film, but her character is so surreal in a ‘Gathering of the Juggalo’ masturbatory fantasy, that the fate that befalls her seems apropos at best.

So the meat and potatoes of the plot is just that she gets infected with some mutated mutant sperm injected by the always great, Mark Weber, who is a pimp and drug dealer, and must carry this strange thing to term. It is pretty straight up Cronenberg body horror, but probably thinks it is feminist because is has to do with motherhood being forced or some shit. Towards the end, with a belly as big as a big belly, Lyonne hobbles around with a cane imposing herself in the search of answers. She looks exactly like Danny Devito in Batman Returns. It is fucking hilarious. But the answers come in the form of some X-Files bullshit about who cares.

The culmination of the film results in her giving birth to some neon glowing goomba from Super Mario Brothers, THE MOVIE! And while it is comical, the third act feels like the best parts of William Friedkin’s Bug. We spend so much time in movies hearing the protagonist say, “I know this sounds crazy, but…” and we are like, yeah it sounds crazy but I believe you cause I saw all this happen. But there is a large part of AntiBirth that feels like this is just the final broken piece of brain matter shuttering off in a broken person’s schizoid delusions. You can imagine the reality of a woman, no bun in dat oven, screaming about secret government programs and mutant embryos and shit, and it is just kind of sad.

I noticed, after seeing this film, I would describe it to others much like I described it to you, using other film’s references to make a point. And I believe that is the fatal flaw with this film. It doesn’t feel, despite its erratic editing and music that sounds like STP, like it has its own voice. It is a pastiche of punk cinema and Marilyn Manson music videos and Liam Lynch pre-internet creativity. It is boring to look at cause we have already seen it. It doesn’t shock. It is just weird.

31 Days of Horror – ‘The Canal’

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The Canal  

Directed by: Ivan Kavanagh

Starring: Rupert Evans and Antonia Campbell-Hughes

Review by CinemAbysmal

This is a genuinely mean and frightening film. You look at the picture above, and you’ll probably think it’s a typical ghost flick where the submerged body comes floating to the surface to haunt the living. Truth is though, this movie is a straight ripper. Rather than relying on jump scares and things that go bump in the night, The Canal presents a story floating face down in a murky puddle of grief and infidelity.

I am not saying that there are no horrific parts in this. There are some absolutely chilling scenes brought on by ghosts haunting a house. There is a disgusting public bathroom that is repeatedly revisited causing a great amount of discomfort as a Shiningesque score wobbles and whines in the background. There is a tale of a family that was killed by their patriarch in 1902 in the house in which the main character now lives. The director, Kavanagh knows what he is doing to make the viewer as uneasy as possible.

Back to what makes The Canal brutally scary though, is the weaving story of the main character and his wife. The movie begins with them looking at a house, deeply in love and childless, their whole lives together ahead of them. Several years later the film jumps ahead and we are led to believe that the main character’s wife is cheating on him, leaving him with their son. His reaction is genuine and awful and heartbreaking, and I feel this is where the horrible fright of this film lies: everyone’s worst fears coming to life causing an unrelenting descent into madness in the face of infidelity.

For those into haunted house movies, this movie should be quite enough for you. But if you’re looking for a really depressing film that will most likely just absolutely devastate you while some ghosts tease the living, this one is definitely for you. Check out this bad boy on Netflix now. I promise it will affect you in some way.

 

Cathy’s Take on ‘The Ridiculous 6’

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The Ridiculous 6 (2015) – Western-Comedy-Hybrid | American History

Directed by: Frank Coraci

Starring: Adam Sandler and Rob Snyder

How I Watched: Netflix, NO DOY!

Adam Sandler is undeniably the king of comedy. I hear people talk about Eddie Murphy, which I can understand cause he played the entire Klump family without even batting an eye (except for the little Hercules farting kid), but for my money, it is Adam Sandler. Every movie he makes is outrightly outrageous, starting with The Wedding Singer, moving all the way through tear-jerker Clank, and culminating in his most recent hit, a Netflix exclusive, The Ridiculous 6, and let me tell you folks, those six are Ridiculous. The Magnificent Seven needed seven to be magnificent, or so I’ve heard, but six is a much more ridiculous number, hence The Ridiculous 6. I don’t really go for westerns, but this one had me riveted and laughing, even though the humor could be a little blue at times.

I know what you are thinking; “Cathy, is this just a comedy making fun of a very serious and tumultuous time in the history of the great American west?” Yes, but they go out of their way to make it very historically accurate. The Indian costumes look very much like costumes from other movies I have seen, and Sandler alum, Rob Snyder does a spot-on Mexican accent that took me half the film to realize he wasn’t really a Mexican. It was that good! Everyone rides horses and shoots six-shooters. And even though they take what they are doing seriously, they have a little fun with it. I haven’t seen all the Matrix movies, but some of the stunts in The Ridiculous 6 looks like they could have been pulled from one of those films.

In the film, Adam Sandler plays an Indian who comes to find out that his father is a white man played by Gary Busey. Gary Busey is then kidnapped and Adam Sandler sets out to try and save his dear old dad. Along the way, it appears that Gary Busey is a bit of a lothario type (remember how I said there is a lot of blue humor) and has fathered sons along his travels. Adam Sandler discovers that he has five other brothers, who make up the gang of the Ridiculous Six, and they all try to rescue Gary Busey. I can’t really remember all the brothers in it but I remember they were funny (Rob Snyder is one and he is Mexican). Hilarity, as is its doing, ensues and there are a number of scenes in which a donkey farts out diarrhea on people or against a wall.

Adam Sandler has touched on many topics in his day, and the plight of the American Indian is a welcome entry into this pantheon of feel-good movies. Cinema is often the stomping ground for our ideals, and to see someone create a film that can be both funny, as well as have a message is really what Netflix is going for when they put out a movie like this. Kudos.

Also, I have heard people talk about a western called The Hateful Eight and was wondering if that is connected to this film? I don’t know much about it, but it seems like a weird coincidence if not connected, so check that out.

Cathy Gives It: I give this movie 10/10 Ridiculous Six-Shooters.

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Similar Films: The Wedding Singer, Clank, Gary Busey Movies