Netflix

We Are Still Here

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We Are Still Here (2015) – Horror | Drama

Directed by: Ted Geoghegan

Starring: Barbara Crampton and Andrew Sensenig

How I Watched: Blu-Ray

Best Line: “You’re not leaving here. You stay, you satisfy the darkness.”

A good haunted house movie is defined by the house itself. It has to use the house in a way that it stands as its own character, impacting the story in a way that you, as the viewer, do not want to be in that house. It has become a difficult feat in modern horror cinema, something that was taken to heart back in the 1970’s. The Shining and The Exorcist both used their surroundings to scare the living hell out of their audiences and first-time director Ted Geoghegan knows this well.

We Are Still Here‘s house is a prime example of how to use the setting as an effective character. The movie begins with the characters driving up to the house and then shots of the lonely rooms inside of its antiquated shell. Each great shot is dripping with dread and it really does not let up from these first few moments for the rest of the film. Setting this in the 1970’s was extremely effective as well. The absence of cell phones in We Are Still Here plays a big part in this story and I think Geoghegan knew this when he wrote it.

The cast is not especially incredible but it does not really need to be. Barbara Crampton plays the grieving and ever-optimistic mother role pretty well, carrying a few scenes that really needed a convincing performance. Andrew Sensinig does a convincing enough job as her husband and Lisa Marie plays a pretty damn good hippie with self-professed mental gifts. Monte Markham has a particularly good turn as the film’s menacing antihero, growling his way through some pretty dark scenes.

We Are Still Here‘s standout performance though, comes from Larry Fessenden. Evoking a stoner Jack Nicholson from The Shining, Fessenden grabs the screen from his first appearance as Jacob Lewis, husband of Lisa Marie’s bohemian telepath. He seems immediately lovable, providing the film with its first hints of levity from the opening credits. His ultimate scene though, is one of the most intense in the movie, reminiscent of The Exorcist at its most extreme. This scene will cause you to grit your teeth and sink into the safety of your couch and was really the standout of the film, for me at least.

Though We Are Still Here is set in the 70’s, the movie feels like it was filmed in that decade as well. It seems purposely low budget, not dirty, but not very polished. Scenes are awash in a sea of grey and earthy tones, making the red in the especially gory scenes stand out that much more. CGI is used sparingly, Geoghegan springing instead for physically acted frights. There are not many jump scares to speak of and darkness is used cleverly by the film’s cinematographer. The score is not overbearing and its electronic elements remind me a lot of Fulci’s films, as well as Romero’s Dawn of the Dead.

I think why I enjoyed this movie so much was due to how they used the house. One of the most repeated quotes by multiple characters in We Are Still Here is, “This house needs a family,” suggesting ultimately, that the house itself is an active character. This idea has frightened me since I saw The Shining for the first time, imagining that an inanimate object can bend the will of humans. It gives me shudders and this film carries this idea out masterfully.

We Are Still Here definitely isn’t perfect. It precariously rides the fine line between B-Horror throwback and haunted house hall of fame. Some may understandably find the low budget schlock angle off-putting and even a bit silly. What the film lacks in polish though, it returns in a deliciously vicious mountain of dread. It takes quite a bit of love and dedication to make a haunted house movie this well, and to learn that this is director Ted Geoghegan’s debut is very impressive. I really can’t wait to see what he has for us next.

Final Score: 3.5/4

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Similar Films: The Innkeepers, The Evil Dead, The Shining

Cathy’s Take on ‘Dolphin Tale’

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Dolphin Tale (2011) – Cute Family Fun | Dolphin Gore

Directed by: Charles Martin Smith

Starring: Harry Connick Jr (hubba hubba) and Morgan Freeman

How I Watched: Netflix

I don’t have a dolphin tattoo, but by golly, I wish I did. I’d probably get it on my back or on my ankle and after seeing Dolphin Tale this weekend (I was sick in bed with strep throat), I would get a dolphin without a tail. Cause that’s what Dolphin Tale is about.

First off, when I discovered that a movie called Dolphin Tale is about a dolphin without a tail, I was super tickled pink. Cause I love dolphins and I love homonyms. Oh, and did I mention that I love Harry Connick Jr., who plays Doctor Clay Haskett? There is also Morgan Freeman who you may know as God in that God movie with Jim Carrey and the guy in Shawshank Redemption who can get things for people. I really like him a lot too. So this was setting up to be a real winner of an evening (despite my strep throat) but unfortunately, the film turns out to be pretty gruesome with the dolphin getting its tale caught early on in a crab trap.

Maybe, I was a little sick (I had strep) but it just seemed too much. Nick told me to look for themes that may be connected across films and compare that to the crew to find commonalities in perspective. So I looked into Google to see if maybe who directed this movie also directed The Passion of the Christ because they were both very violent and based on true stories, but The Passion of the Christ was directed by Mel Gibson and Dolphin Tale was directed by Chris Martin Smith.

Outside of that horrific scene, this is a family friendly romp about a young boy’s relationship with the tail-less dolphin and it reminded me in many ways to Free Willy, a film about a boy and a whale with a curly-cue fin that jumps over rocks (maybe cover your children’s eyes for that scene too. It is pretty nerve-wracking). Harry Connick Jr. delights as a very friendly doctor trying to help Winter (which is the name of the dolphin, played by real-life dolphin named Winter) and the children are very funny and amusing.

The film is very much a fish-out-of-water story, cause the dolphin can’t swim very well after its accident, but with the help of the humans, learns to swim just like a fish-in-water. It kind of reminds me of a personal story when I had to have bunion surgery and ran out of medical leave days and had to return to work. I rented a scooter, but my cubicle is real small so I would leave it by Anton’s office and hobble in. The first couple days, Anton would trip over my scooter and curse under his breath, but by Wednesday he was learning to walk around my scooter, and for that I am really proud of him.

Sorry for the late post this week. I hate to say it, but I have strep throat. If anyone has any good remedies, send them along in the comments.
Cathy Gives It: I give this film 10/10 scooters for Anton.

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Similar Films: Free Willy, Dolphin Tale 2, The Passion of the Christ

Cathy’s Take on ‘Bring It On: All or Nothing’

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Bring It On: All or Nothing (2006) – Cheerleading | Choreographed Acrobatic Stunts

Directed by: Steve Rash

Starring: That White Girl in Remember the Titans and Beyonce’s Sister

How I Watched: On TBS

It’s that time of the month again. Just like last week presented the fall of some mighty good cinematic masterpieces, this week sees a whole new list of lovable flicks entering everyone’s favorite film streaming website. I see it as a monthly rejuvenation device, like a device that will rejuvenate you every month, and May 2016 has quite a few delights under its belt.

New this month is one of my all-time favorite films. It has humor and it has heart and it has Cathy screaming for excitement every time I see it playing on TBS.  If you know me, you know that I love cheerleading movies. There is just something that gets my blood pumping every time some teenage girl gets thrown into the air and caught by some burly kid. I love the cheers (“Boom-shaka-boom-boom” is my personal fave. Be sure to comment with yours) and I love the choreographed acrobatics.

So there is no reason, why I shouldn’t love Bring It On, a film that came out in 2000, which I remember because I went to see it with Phillip and Phillip broke up with me because of 9/11 in September 2001.  He said a love like ours couldn’t exist in a post-9/11 world, but I personally think his mom was pressuring him. But by then, Bring It On was out on DVD so I didn’t take it too hard. Cathy always survives.

But we aren’t reviewing Bring It On this week (we will save that for a ‘Film Favorites’ column), we are reviewing the third film in the Bring It On pentalogy and also the third film in “Cathy’s Ranking of Best Bring It On Films.” This is a review of Bring It On: All or Nothing. Much like the other films in the illustrious series, this film focuses on cheerleading. This film isn’t about white cheerleaders stealing routines from black cheerleaders, and being forced to come up with an original routine, and thereby winning the respect of the black cheerleaders. This film is about a white girl who has to GRADUALLY earn the respect of black girls, and she does so through the art of krunking.

Truth be told, I knew next to nothing about krunking before I saw this movie. And I presume you will know the same, so I will explain it to you. Krunking is a dance style, not unlike the fight dance style of Kevin Bacon in the film Footloose, but instead of fighting with a bunch of imaginary people around you, you mostly just fight yourself. It is a lot of stomping and a lot of grunting and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think my upstairs neighbor was a krunker (LOL I am just joking with you, Bets, if you are reading this. I love you.)

But in the end, not to spoil anything, the white girl, played by the white girl in Remember the Titans, gains the respect of the black girl, played by Beyonce’s sister. It is a family friendly romp with lots of heart. If you watch no other Bring It On film, watch this one. Or the original.

That is on Netflix also.

Cathy Gives It: I give this film 10/10 pom-poms, which are the fuzzy things cheerleaders wave around.

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Similar Films: Bring It On, Footloose (the old one, not the new one, it was gross), That one movie with Channing Slater

Special Correspondents

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Special Correspondents (2016) – Comedy

Directed by: Ricky Gervais

Starring: Eric Bana and Ricky Gervais

How I Watched: Netflix

Best Line: “Kill everybody. Greetings from New York.”

Ricky Gervais is a funny man. Deny it all you want, but really, his projects have influenced comedy in every format over the last decade. He’s had more than his hand in both versions of The Office, Extras, Life’s Too Short, An Idiot Abroad, and in my opinion, the critically underappreciated The Invention of Lying. Some of you out there may have seen the extremely British dramedy series Derek on Netflix, which showed Gervais stretching his acting chops into the Forrest Gump-ish, man-child arena and polarized its viewership.

When I read that Gervais was creating a Netflix original movie, I was pretty excited as a fan of his work. The cast was pretty impressive and the premise at least sounded like it could be funny. Ghost Town was alright, and as mentioned above, I thought The Invention of Lying was clever and had some moments that were funny as hell. Since Special Correspondents was produced strictly for Netflix, I knew that Gervais had free reign with the content, leaving him with some really great comedic opportunity. Sadly, the script and the rest of the film really missed that mark.

Let’s start with the cast. Gervais is of course, Ricky Gervais in the film. He has neuroses about everyday issues and is just funny enough to keep the film from drowning as the film’s co-star. Eric Bana coasts through the film, playing the poster-boy, lady-killer and is at times, unbearable. Scottish born Kelly MacDonald, who I know best as Carla Jean Moss in No Country For Old Men, is questionably in the film as Gervais and Bana’s American co-worker and it seems that this role could have gone to anyone that has less acting skill than Macdonald.

Vera Farmiga, though, steals the show from the rest of the cast as Gervais’ greedy wife. I can tell a good amount of the creation of the script was based around her character as she develops a scheme to get money from the everyday American based on a false kidnapping narrative. I think the devout Atheist Gervais was going for a bit of a metaphoric commentary here, as he is never shy on social media concerning American Christianity and its many faults. This was one of the only funny storylines in the film and receives depressingly too little screen time.

I can tell what Ricky Gervais was going for when he developed the idea for Special Correspondents. The two main characters of the film work for New York based news radio and come up with a scheme that will get them listeners. They make up a story about getting kidnapped in Ecuador, which clutches the attention and sympathies of the American public, but the story goes virtually nowhere. I can imagine that Gervais wanted to make the next Stripes or even Tropic Thunder, but instead, this movie is more like a bad Adam Sandler film.

This movie is saved (and I use that term very loosely) by Gervais’ ability to make a conversation uncomfortable. He is much better in Extras and The Office, but there’s just enough from him in Special Correspondents to make you chuckle. He plays off Bana’s mannequin-like character very well, and leaves plenty of opportunity for the rest of the cast to shine. Unfortunately, they just don’t. There is an underwhelming amount of Gervais’ usual cameos in his work, which surprised me since I can imagine Netflix gave him a relatively long leash.

To say Special Correspondents is disappointing is an understatement. There is a wealth of talent on hand and plenty of opportunity for creator Ricky Gervais to run wild. I really don’t know what happened, but this one seemed to be dead on arrival from the opening scene. Those that enjoy Gervais’ work as much as I do won’t find much here to enjoy. In fact, I think if you are one of those that enjoy his work, you will be even more disappointed than those less familiar with the man behind The Office.

Final Score: 1.5/4

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Similar Films: Tropic Thunder, Ghost Town, Stripes

Cathy’s Take on ‘Stealing Harvard’

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Stealing Harvard (2002) – Crime Caper | Comical

Directed by: Bruce McCulloch

Starring: Jason Lee and The Freddy Guy

How I Watched: Well, the first time was renting it on tape at the downtown Blockbuster but yesterday I watched it on Netflix and you can too so you should

It’s that time of the month again. Time to start binge watching all the great movies that will be leaving Netflix at the start of May. I always dislike this feeling, like seeing a friend die from some incurable disease while you are stuck at work cause you already used all your vacation days visiting a Thomas Kinkade museum (RIP Snaps) (Also highly recommended museum). So for this column, I decided to highlight one of my favorite films that will soon no longer be on Netflix.

The crime caper is as old as film itself, spanning from the Disney animated film, Robin Hood to Ocean’s 13. And all the crime capers seem to be the same; some guys want money and they want to steal that money from someone else. There is some killing and usually they get the money. Now, I have never had a lot of money, mainly because I got my paralegal degree from Roni Lynn Deutsch and it was later nullified as a scam, but I learned some good things in those courses and have yet to use them in the real world. But can you imagine me, Cathy, as a paralegal, rubbing elbows with lawyers and judges? Anyway, I have never even thought of stealing money from someone else. That’s their money. They worked hard from it. Stealing is wrong. But I still love crime capers, especially when they have a heart, and not a lot of violence.

Imagine a world where your niece was just accepted at a great university, say Harvard, and you don’t have the money to pay for it. Now stop imagining and just go watch Stealing Harvard, cause that’s what that movie is about! Stealing Harvard is a film that is leaving Netflix in May and is my selection this week. It stars Jason Lee, who you may remember from the Alvin Chipmunks movies and being the brother of Jennifer Jason Lee. Also it has the Freddy guy from Freddy Got Fingered, a film I watched with my nephew, Nathan, over a weekend when his mother was getting divorced from his dad. So, they play two friends who are trying to come up with ways to get money. In order to pay for the niece’s college education, Jason Lee and his friend, must resort to thievery and heists. They aren’t gangsters or ruffians. Just a couple regular guys like you’d find any Friday night at Applebees, so they are pretty ill-equipped for the hijinks that ensue.

Stealing Harvard is a fun family romp with a lot of laugh out loud moments that will catch you off-guard, so be careful when drinking a Sprite or other beverage. Often times, the relationship between the two friends has too much chemistry and you really feel like the cast had a lot of fun on the set when the cameras weren’t rolling (If anyone knows of a gag reel for this movie, please send it to me). The ending is really funny, in a raunchy way, but that’s comedy these days.

My one complaint is that the name Stealing Harvard makes me feel like they are actually “stealing a college,” which, to be honest, attracted me to the film. How can two guys with water pistols steal the best and brightest minds in this nation? That is still a film I’d love to see. I guess, a better title might have been Stealing to Fund a Harvard Education or Stealing so My Niece Can Go to Harvard, but everyone wants a quick and witty title for their movies, so those may not work. Any suggestions for better titles, please comment.

For this film, I give it 10/10 mortarboard hats, cause congratulations for getting into Harvard, Jason Lee’s niece. Definitely check it out.

Cathy Gives It: 10/10 Mortarboard Hats

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Similar Films: Alvin Chipmunks, Robin Hood, Non-Violent Heist/Crime Capers

Cathy’s Take on ‘Honey, I Shrunk the Kids’

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Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) – Cute | Laugh Riot

Directed by: Joe Johnston

Starring: Rick Moranis and Dee Wallace

How I Watched: The Rex Drive-In Movie Theatre

My name is Cathy Salinsky. One of my favorite movies in the whole wild world is Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.  It is a really funny family romp that asks the question, what if Rick Moranis shrunk his family and then had to answer to his wife, played by Dee Wallace. Anyway, when I was twenty-five, that movie played at the Rex Drive-In Movie Theatre. Double billed with All Dogs Go to Heaven. I didn’t prefer that one as much although I do love the part where all the dogs went to heaven.

When I first saw Honey I Shrunk the Kids, I was amazed by the science fiction writing and the cool special effects, but what really amazed me is that Rick Moranis and his wife and half of the kids that got shrunk (the oldest girl and the brown haired boy) all have the surname Szalinski, which sounds just like my last name. Although, not quite spelled the same. But I went on ancestry.com and found out that our names came from the same area of Poland back in the 1880s (I checked ancestry.com more recently. Obviously it did not exist in 1989, when Honey, I Shrunk the Kids came on the scene). But can you just imagine, little old Cathy Salinsky from Auburn, WA being related to a famous movie family. That got me thinking. Boy, that must be a sign if I ever heard one.

Ever since then I have been OBSESSED with movies of all kinds, from A Walk to Remember to You, Me, and Dupree and everything in between.

I ain’t no Hollywood insider and I certainly don’t have a film critic degree. But I love movies, always have (ever since Honey, I Shrunk the Kids). And if you’re like me, you can’t afford to go traipsing outside everyday to catch a flick at the cineplex. It’s like $12 for a movie ticket and then you got to get popcorn cause no movie is complete without popcorn and that’s another 15 or so dollars and it just isn’t realistic for people anymore. And the people at Netflix realize this.

With Netflix, I can watch whichever movie I want. For a reasonable monthly fee. I can go down to the Grocery Outlet and buy a box of popcorn for like $2.49 or splurge for the good stuff at $2.99 and I can share it with Carmen, my mutt puppy (who rescued who?) and we can watch back to back to back to back movies on a Friday night. Sometimes I get naughty and add another movie for fun. Carmen falls asleep but I don’t mind being alone if a good flick is on.

I have gotten to know Netflix inside and outside. And I thought to myself, Cathy, you can’t keep all this priceless knowledge and movie recommendations to yourself. I started off my printing out recommendations at work and putting them on the bulletin board, but Anton, my manager, stated the bulletin board is for work specific pieces of information. So, I thought, why not write for a movie weblog. Who better to share my expertise (I always loved that word) with people who really love movies and want to read about good movies on the internet? So this is that weblog. Welcome to my column, Cathy’s Guide to Netflix.

Enjoy. I know I will.

Cathy Gives It: 10/10 Oatmeal Sandwich Cookies

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Similar Films: All Dogs Go to Heaven, Honey, I Blown Up the Kids, Dee Wallace Movies

The Hallow

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The Hallow (2015) – Horror

Directed by: Corin Hardy

Starring: Joseph Mawle and Bojana Novakovic

How I Watched: Streamed on Netflix

Best Line: “Hallow be their name / And blest be their claim / If you who trespass put down roots / Then Hallow be your name.”

Every once in a while, a movie comes along that you’ve never heard of previously and bites the living hell out of you. This is one of those. Grasping onto its predecessors in the ‘shack in the woods’ genre, The Hallow knows what its job is right from the get-go. Never taking itself too seriously, but at the same time, avoiding any laughable moments, this flick will definitely get under your skin. There’s monsters, some paranormal weirdness and some really jumpy scares. So switch off the lights and turn it up loud.

There is a blast of immediate dread when the movie begins that seems to be lacking in a lot of horror movies lately. Very often, we get the slow burn for the first hour or so, that builds into a bloody, chaotic payoff that just manages to hold the film together. That’s not the case in The Hallow. We are introduced to the characters a lot like in The Shining as an automobile is seen looping through country roads on the way to its ominous destination. Without ruining anything, a married couple with a newborn is moving from London to the Irish countryside, where the father is tasked with preparing the forest for logging. This does not make the forest or inhabitants happy, and did I mention the couple has a newborn? Ok, that’s all I’ll tell you about the plot.

A lot like Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead series, there are a number of disgusting and squishy moments that made me recoil. When I say squishy and Evil Dead in the same sentence, you probably know what I mean; revolting sounds of flesh getting smashed and the gooey crunching of various parts in monster’s teeth. There’s a lot of that in this one. But unlike Sam Raimi’s series, it’s not very funny. At all, actually.

Now, a lot of people have problems with CGI in horror movies. I am one of those people, but I understand it in moderation. The Hallow does a great job of using it when they need to. At times, you can tell the CGI would probably look ridiculous, but the creators did a great job with the lighting so that the effects don’t take center stage. This by all means is a monster movie, so there were plenty of chances for the team that filmed this to screw it up.

Those of you frightened by the creatures in The Descent or some of the fairy tale monsters in Pan’s Labyrinth need to stay away from this one. The Hallow borrows from those films and turns it up to 11. There are some absolutely jarring jump scares in this and the things causing them are anything but pleasant. Watch out, too if you’re easily affected by eye injuries on film.

I think one aspect of the film that it could have improved upon was to further explore the mythology that is behind the menacing force out in those woods. It is briefly touched on as the small town’s unspoken folklore, but there was definite opportunity to make this story as chilling as something out of Lovecraft. There is even what seems to be a direct reference to the Necronomicon in one of the scenes, which again, is not focused on enough.

Really though, this was a great film. It’s vicious in pace, storytelling and bloodletting. It does a great job of building dread, but not for so long that you anticipate the next scare. The film knows right when to surprise you. If you have surround sound, you’re in for a treat as the sound editors did a wonderful job using the rear sound field to assist in the scares. The acting was pretty good, but if you have a difficult time with English and Irish accents, you might need to flip on those subtitles. So switch those lights off and enjoy tonight’s nightmares. This one will do everything to make you feel like you shouldn’t be in the dark.

 

Final Score: 3.5/4

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Similar Films: Evil Dead (all of them), Pan’s Labyrinth, The Descent