A Recap of Thrones: Season Six Recap

It’s that time again. The birds are chirping in the mornings, the days are starting to get longer, and HBO starts to release ten episodes of Game of Thrones for our viewing pleasure. Every year we blink, the season ends, and we are left wondering, “WHY DID THAT CHARACTER I LOVE HAVE TO DIE?” and “WHY DO I WATCH THIS SHOW?” So what better way to make the Game of Thrones season last a bit longer, than to relive the episodes the day after they air?

Check back in the next few days for the first recap of season seven, episode one, but first let’s start with a quick recap of season six. It will be a good reminder of where all of our favorite and least favorite characters have ended up.

Let’s recap:

First off, RIP to all those we lost last season:

• Hodor
• Margaery Tyrell
• Ser Loras Tyrell
• Mace Tyrell
• Tommen Baratheon
• Trystane Martell
• Doran Martell
• Myrcella Baratheon (dead in season 5, funeral in season 6)
• Ramsey Bolton (meh)
• The High Sparrow and all of the Faith Militant in the Sept
• Grand Maester Pycelle (finally)
• Rickon Stark
• Shaggy Dog
• Osha
• Summer

We left season six with almost every big character sailing away from Essos. It’s fair to say that we won’t be seeing much more of Essos because it’s essentially not where shit is going to go down now. Dany ruled Mereen for a few seasons, helping out all those non-white people, and then leaving when she realized that she wasn’t going to be able to fix their city. It’s kind of like when America invades the Middle East. It takes a bit, but we soon realize it was a terrible idea and then just pack up our shit and leave the place to the dogs. Is Dany George W. Bush? Probably.

Jorah is the last main character left in Essos. He reveals his grayscale to Dany who commands him to find a cure and return to her in Westeros. Daenarys, Tyrion, Varys, Messandi, the Unsullied, Greyworm, and the Greyjoys leave Essos and I can only assume they’re going to meet up and ally with Olenna Tyrell of Highgarden and the Sand Snakes of Dorne. That’s quite a bit of power in Westeros behind her already. I’m hoping for some epic fighting between her and Cersei this season.

Of the three Lannister’s that are left, Tyrion was asked to be Hand of the Queen to Dany and Cersei blew up the sept and all of its inhabitants last season. She somehow didn’t think that Tommen would jump out of a window because of it. Jamie came back to King’s Landing with Bronn at the end of the last season only to find that his sister/fuck buddy had blown up nearly half of the city. It’s a bit ironic because Jaime/the Kingslayer, murdered the Mad King to prevent this very thing from happening and now Cersei has done it herself and pushed their last surviving child to his death. It’s all very awkward. Who knows what he will do now, but I’m hoping the first idea on his mind is to leave his insane sister. Or kill her.

Arya left Essos and returned to Westeros to kill the Frays. Not sure where her path leads now, but I think we’re all hoping for a Bran, Jon, Sansa, and Arya reunion. But first, Arya has a list of names of people to kill so we’ll see how well that works out for her.

After delivering Sansa to Jon safely, Sansa tasks Brienne with recruiting her uncle Brynden to their cause against Ramsey. Brienne takes Podrick with her, but unfortunately their mission fails when Bryden is killed in an attack against Jaime Lannister’s men. Brydnen gets them both out of the castle in time and the last we see of Brienne is her and Podrick rowing away from the danger as Jaime looks on letting them live. Not sure what’s on the agenda for these two this time around, but glad they’re both alive.

We thought The Hound died, but then he was nursed back to health by some religious people who were then brutally murdered by a few rogues in the brotherhood without banners. He hunted down the perpetrators and then killed them all. The Brotherhood’s leader, Beric (the guy who can’t die), is all cool about his vigilante justice and asks The Hound if he’d like to join them up north to fight the White Walkers.

The Hound’s brother, Gregor Clegane, is still a zombie and Cersei’s champion. Fans are still hoping for Cleganebowl where the two brothers finally duke it out to the death.

Sam and Gilly are at the Citadel so Sam can learn things and become a Maester for the night’s watch. He’s mostly likely there to further the plot and find a way in those stacks of books to kill White Walkers. Gilly is still Gilly and Little Sam is still Little Sam. Sam is basically like Belle in Beauty and the Beast.

Sansa accepts Jon as a Stark, yet has issues sharing information with him still. Little Finger is working his magic to cast doubt in her mind at Jon. She literally just came to the conclusion that anyone would be a fool to trust Littlefinger and here she is just thinking about trusting him again. HE GAVE YOU TO RAMSEY BOLTON, SANSA! Never forget. Every time Sansa finally seems like she’s grown a brain it suddenly disappears.

Jon has been declared King of the North and is residing at Winterfell after defeating Ramsey in the most epic battle scene of all time. He has no idea about his lineage which we saw through the eyes of Bran in a vision. Lyanna Stark is his Mother and Ragar Targarean is his father. Kind of a big deal.

Bran and Myra met up with Benjen Stark beyond the wall. Benjen leaves them there and Bran is the new three eyed raven. Don’t even ask me where this storyline is going. Now that R+L=J is confirmed I don’t see a big point in keeping Bran alive other than a Stark reunion.

The Red Woman was banished after Davos revealed to Jon that she killed Shireen. She leaves the Wall and is most likely going to meet up with Dany at some point and start blindly worshiping her just like she did with all the others.

Now we are all caught up. The Winds of Winter, the next book in the series, is still not out yet. I think Season six pretty much covered that entire book and then eventually there will be a final book by the time we are dead. I assume much of that final book will be covered in the finals seasons of Game of Thrones.

We are starting Season 7 a bit later than usual. Game of Thrones tends to premier in March/April and due to production the release got pushed back to July 16th. We do know that this will be a shorter season. These seasons tend to go for 10 episodes and this seventh season will only have seven episodes. We do know that the 7th and 8th episode of this season will be record breaking in length coming in at 71 & 81 minutes respectively. No complaints here. We’ve got one more week until the premiere so make sure to check out CinemAbysmal for your Recap of Thrones every Sunday night just a few hours after the episode premiers. Don’t forget to grab your parent’s HBO password and join the world in prayer to the Seven that HBO GO doesn’t crash like it always does.