Author: @sheldonspanjer

A Recap of Thrones: S06 E09 – ‘Battle of the Bastards’

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A Recap of Thrones: Season Six, Episode Nine: Battle of the Bastards

By Holly Hill (@hollishillis)

SO MANY THINGS. I feel like a million epic events happened tonight. Events we have been Owaiting for since the end of Season one. In Lord of the Rings style epicnesss, we’ve got dragons, we’ve got revenge, and we’ve got TWO battles. On a directorial note, the cinematography of this episode was some of the best I’ve seen on TV, perhaps ever. I hear an Emmy calling.  

In Mereen, Dany is back, and instead of scolding Tyrion for prolonging the inevitable, she’s ready to get to work and figure out how to stop the take over. It’s super satisfying to see her trusting Tyrion, and really looking to him for advice and counsel. Dany wants to run in and kill everyone, burning the cities to the ground. Tyrion reminds her that she sounds like her crazy old dad, and he also manages to make mention of all that Wildfyre her father planted around Kings Landing (foreshadowing for the finale, anyone?), and Dany quickly takes back her statement.

The old masters try to get Dany to surrender which she predictably refuses. The other dragons are released, and don’t seem too pissed off at having been chained in a dungeon for several seasons. Dany sets dragon fire to the ships, and makes it pretty fucking clear there will be no more slavery. In a move that makes the world of Essos and Westeros look like it’s the distance from Florida to New York, Yara and Theon show up in Mereen and offer their ships. There is some very epic flirting between Yara and Dany, which I fully support, and now officially ship. Dany accepts their ships, and their offer, and it’s the start of a beautiful friendship.

Ramsey, Sansa, and Jon all meet up before the battle to exchange words. Jon offers hand to hand combat with Ramsey so no one has to die, except one of them. Ramsey obviously refuses, and so battle is declared. Davos finds Shireen’s burn site, and the daggers in his eyes confirms we haven’t heard the end of it.

At the start of the battle, Ramsey releases Rickon. He shoots arrows at the kid, letting him run back to Jon. Rickon runs in a straight line to get back to his rightful side. WHY IN THE WORLD DID HE NOT RUN IN A ZIG-ZAG FORMATION?! I know NOTHING about battle tactics or how to outrun an arrow, but it seems entirely obvious that his go to would have been zig-zagging as to not get hit. At the last moment one finds him right in the chest. It’s sad to see, but I think we all agree that if we had to pick any Stark to die tonight, it was going to be Rickon.

The battle starts and I can’t help thinking, where was Ghost? I’m guessing with the dragons, the giant, and the dogs at the end, the CGI budget was completely tapped out at the end of this episode. The battle is some of the best shit I’ve seen on TV in a long time. It was chaotic and grimy, and the tactics medieval in nature. It was one of the best scenes of this entire series. There’s a terrible moment when it looks like Jon might die of asphyxiation from being crushed to death by the weight of dead bodies. For some reason my mind blanked on Sansa writing that letter to ‘someone’ which we all guessed was Petyr Baelish but it was never confirmed. So just as it seems all hope is lost the Knights of the Vale show up, and with some relief, Jon, Wun-Wun, and Tormund charge for the gates of Winterfell. It’s a tough gate to crack, but I guess when you have a giant, it seems like childs play.

When Ramsey and Jon lock eyes again, Ramsey tries to bargain with a one-on-one fight. Jon has had enough of this little shit, and charges him nearly beating his face in to death, but stopping just in time as he sees Sansa. The look in her eyes says, “Please let me decide how this fucker goes.” And so Ramsey wakes up in a holding cell where his man-eating dogs surround him, having not fed them for seven days. In a beautiful form of revenge, the dogs eat Ramsey alive, and I can’t really think of a better way for that death to go.

Stark banners fall on the walls of Winterfell once more (new intro next week?), and we end the episode with a beautiful ghost of a smile on Sansa’s face as she listens to the dogs rip Ramsey’s face apart.

Things that still need to be wrapped up:

  • Where is Arya headed and when will she get there? With this new teleportation system the show has going on, hopefully she can reunite with her siblings in Winterfell soon.
  • What’s Bran up to? Where is he going, what is his new purpose, and will he see his family again?
  • What will be the fate of the Lannisters? Jamie is breaking bread with the Freys (despicable), while Cersei awaits trial with Loras. Will she take King’s Landing down with her? How much longer does Tommen even have on the throne? Where is Ser Pounce?
  • Why is the Hound back? What will be his purpose? An epic showdown with this zombie brother?
  • Will Brienne and Pod make it back to Winterfell?
  • When will Dany set sail for Westeros?
  • Will Davos out the Red Lady for killing Shrieen?
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Best quotes this week:

– “My hounds will never harm me.” – Ramsey Bolton

– “Our father’s were evil men. All of us here. They left the world worse than they found it. We aren’t going to do that. We are going to leave the world better than we found it.” – Dany

– “Happy shitting.” – Tormund Giantsbane

– “Bury my brother in the crypt. Next to my father.” – Jon Snow

– “His big cock. I think he said. Yuron’s offer is also an offer of marriage, you see you won’t get one without the other.” -Yara

“And your offer is free of any marriage demands?” – Dany

“I never demand, but I’m up for anything really.” –Yara

The Highterion Collection: ‘Jubilee’

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Review by Dino Larino

Jubilee (1978) – Drama | Fantasy

Directed by: Derek Jarman

Starring: Jenny Runacre and  Jordan

How I Watched: Hulu Plus

My name is Dino Larino (not my real name. I have a job). I like getting stoned. I also like watching artsy fartsy films. Some films are better to watch blitzed than others. So, I am going to try to watch every Criterion Collection film ever distributed while I smoke herb and decide whether it belongs in the Highterion Collection.

For a film to enter the Highterion Collection, it just has to be awesome to watch while stoned. That’s the criteria. Even if it is objectively the dopest flick to be devoted to film, if it sucks whilst exuberantly exuberant, it will remain in the Criterion Collection. Sorry.

Full disclosure: While I have seen many Criterion films, I haven’t seen a lot while high. Maybe the thing that makes them Criterion Collection films is that they are amazing under the influence. I don’t know. Let’s find out together.

Also, if you have any suggestions for upcoming Highterion films I need to see, definitely leave them in the comments.

And so you can play along, I will tell you the next film up for consideration.

Jubilee (1978). I picked it on a lark. I know nothing about it other than it is a punk film.

Stay faithful my friends and enjoy the magic carpet ride.

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To start off this film review column, I wanted to begin with a film that had a batshit insane plot synopsis. This one has just that. It is basically about how Elizabeth I uses the powers of some dude and his creepy leotarded buddy to travel to the future of England and see what’s happening. I guess she was just curious. The story from there focuses on a punk gang of women as they create havoc and philosophize about the current state of the UK. So, right away, this is right up my alley.

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I am going to be completely honest (cause honesty is key to every relationship), for much of this film – like the first third – I had no fucking clue what was going on. I didn’t even realize two characters were played by the same actress. There was a lot of yelling by this character named Mad, which I guess makes sense. Mad was this ultra-violent nihilist played by punk rocker Toyah Wilcox who has the most beautifully vibrant orange buzzcut and an amazing affectation that makes everything she says seem like it is the secret of the universe. For her performance alone, the film is worth seeing.

The plot, once I could really grasp it, revolved around this gang just enjoying life and youthful anarchy, while trying to get a record deal from this super-crazy media magnate played to creepy perfection by Jack Birkett. At some point, some cops kill two incestuous brothers that were members of the gang, so Mad and Bod, a non-descript blond, but centerpiece of the gang, seek revenge, disemboweling a street cop in broad daylight. This causes Mad to break down and begin crying, but I can’t really tell why she starts crying. Maybe the anger and violence was all a facade and even Mad can’t take it. That’s probably it. The film ends with the remaining members of the gang hanging out with the magnate at his summer home in the countryside, after getting a record deal. Elizabeth I comes to some conclusion or some shit and the film ends.

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Ultimately, like the best Criterion flicks, the plot felt like second fiddle. Instead, there were these amazing set piece scenes that were worth watching. The character Amyl Nitrate, which is such a great fucking name for a character, sings this wonderfully grandiose performance of “Rule Britannia” that you should YouTube this instant. As well as an impeccable performance by Lounge Lizard, played by transgender punk star, Wayne County, that culminates in her death at the hands of our “heroic” gang. The director, Derek Jarman, utilizes many shots that manage to keep the entire gang into frame without feeling crowded.

When talking to others about this film, though (like I said, I really did not fully understand what was happening), I described it as a Rocky Horror-esque non-musical directed by David Lynch through the lens of 1970’s punk rock. I still stand by that assessment. While the subject matter and characters are disjointed and chaotic, the scene composition is anything but, with dazzling work made of pulling every piece into a mosaic contrast of the whole.

It is absolutely fantastic and I haven’t even gotten to the main selling point. The soundtrack is filled to the brim with kickass fucking music, with cameos from Siouxsie and the Banshees as well as major scenes with Adam Ant. The film is also scored by Brian Eno, which speaks for itself in its lulling, gorgeous punk sensibility.

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Again, while advertised as a punk flick, expressing punk ideals with punk visuals, the film is really a foray into feminist anarchy. Anyone with anything interesting to say is female. All action is done by females. Men are possessions, often violently disposed of post-coitus. Adam Ant spends most of his time watching TV while females philosophize around him. In fact, the only male characters of action are the police, symbols of the male patriarchal establishment. The film is an ode to what punk and the future could behold and it isn’t necessarily pretty.

All in all, the film has everything I’d hope for in a first addition to the Highterion Collection. Every scene buzzes and fizzles with animated characters and interesting visuals. The music delights and rocks. Toyah is fucking awesome and deserves to be everyone’s spirit animal cause she don’t give any fucks, except for when she disembowels a cop, but we got you, Mad. We got you.
HIGHTERION CERTIFIED!!

Cathy’s Take on ‘E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial’

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E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) – Fun Family Romp | Total Science Fiction

Directed by: Steven Spielberg

Starring: Dee Wallace and E.T. The Extraterrestrial

How I Watched: The Drive Thru

If you would have told me 30 years ago that a Reeses-Pieces loving alien that looks like a penis would become a cultural sensation, I would have told you, “That sounds like E.T. The Extraterrestrial, and it did become a cultural sensation 4 years ago.” If you were to ask everyone in my apartment building the greatest movie of all time, most of them would say, “Oh yeah, that one’s pretty good,” after you mentioned E.T. The Extraterrestrial. There is perhaps not another movie more emblematic of the 1980s than the tale of a young boy and his non-earthling friend. I watched it originally in the drive thru when it came out and was instantly mesmerized by its love and friendship. It is currently on Netflix and is this week’s must see.

E.T. The Extraterrestrial is about a young boy named Elliott who discovers an alien in his backyard while taking out pizza scraps after getting in trouble by his mom (played by Dee Wallace) for cussing at his brother. He then traps the alien and they become friends. A young Drew Barrymore plays Elliott’s little sister and they have a big brother, though I don’t know his name. There is some weird stuff that happens like when E.T. The Extraterrestrial is watching The Quiet Man at home, Elliott starts sexually assaulting one of his classmates because all the frogs escape. Later on, they dress E.T. The Extraterrestrial up like a ghost and take him trick-or-treating. Then people in space suits find out that E.T. The Extraterrestrial is hiding with Elliott and they kidnap the whole family and put them into a bubble where Elliott and E.T. The Extraterrestrial almost die for some reason, but they escape and E.T. The Extraterrestrial gets picked up by his alien friends and presumably flies home.

Upon rewatching and relaying the action of E.T. The Extraterrestrial, I realize I don’t really understand what happened in that movie. But I really love the film and hope you choose to see it, if you haven’t. It is a fun family romp and deserves to be seen by all lovers of alien movies, especially the ones in which they aren’t trying to kill everyone. It has everything you would want in a science fiction movie; bicycle chases, Peter Coyote, aliens in women’s clothing, and little children flying through the air.

 
Cathy Gives It: I give this movie 10/10 phones home.

A Recap of Thrones: S06 E08 – “No One”

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A Recap of Thrones: Season Six, Episode Eight: No One

By Holly Hill (@hollishillis)

Remember that time Arya got just about seven mortal stab wounds, including a twist of the knife in the gut, and then DIDN’T die? Let’s recap that shall we?

There was many a rumor that last episode, the person getting stabbed couldn’t possibly be Arya. Arya would NEVER spend nearly two years getting training to be an assassin, and then flaunt her wealth around town, serenely stare out at the water letting her guard down just to get stabbed. She couldn’t possibly be that stupid, right? Well, turns out she could. All that training for nothing. Arya goes to find the actress she was supposed to kill, who somehow turns seven mortal stab wounds into a slight flesh wound that can be healed with heroin and bandages. I can’t be the only one who finds this hard to believe right? The Waif finds Arya, kills the actress, and chases her through the streets. Arya leads her underground where she has hidden her sword Needle, and kills the Waif using her skills of being blind for so long. She then cuts the Waif’s face off and sticks it in the hall of many faces for Sexy Jesus to find. She tells him she’s Arya Stark, Lady of Being Stupid and Staying in Essos for Two Years for No Reason, and she’s headed back to Winterfell. Well that didn’t make any sense, but there you have it.

The Hound exacts his beautiful revenge on several of the men who killed the people he was staying with. There are many a beautiful deaths that occur. He goes on to find the ring leader, but Beric Dondarrion finds them first. Beric, we first saw back in the first few seasons. The Hound and Beric fought, and Beric died but the Lord of Light brought him back. They make a quick alliance to kill the men together in a hanging, and The Hound joins them, at least for dinner.

Tyrion bids farewell to Varys who sets sail for Westeros to make more friends for Danareys. It’s sad to see the two part, and Tyrion tries to fill the void by redoubling his efforts to befriend Missandei and Grey Worm. It seems like it will work until the Masters of Astapor come with their ships to lay siege to Mereen. Just as things get desperate, Dany shows up on Drogon, looking at everything like she can’t even take a fucking vacation around here or the whole city literally burns to the ground.

Cersei chooses violence rather beautifully. The High Septon demands Cersei see him at the Sept, to which Cersei says how about I send one of your men back in a body bag? The Mountain beats one pretty fully to death, which clearly enrages the Septon who has a few words with Tommen (AKA, the killer of all Cleaganebowl hype), who now demands that there be no more trial by combat. Years of hype ruined by a ten year old who names his cat Ser Pounce. So disappointing. Cersei AND Loras’ trial will take place soon. I’m sure Margaery has a plan to get Loras out of this, but it looks more and more likely that Cersei will die this season. I think it’s safe to assume she’s going to try to take every single person down with her on the way.

Brienne and Pod arrive at Riverrun, and after some hilarious banter between Bron and Pod, we see Brienne work with Jamie to convince the Blackfish to give up Riverrun. The Blackfish does have sentiment towards Sansa, but he tells Brienne that Riverrun is his home, and he will defend it. Brienne tires to get him to come back with her, but he refuses and dies when Jamie takes the castle with the help of Edmund Tully. Jamie takes a complete 180 from his book character delivering an obnoxious speech about how Cersei is his everything. It is nice that he sees Brienne fleeing with Pod, and lets her go peacefully. It shows that there is at least one thing he cares for besides his sister.

Overall it was an episode that had its moments, but really it was just a precursor to a giant battle between the Bastards, and eventually destruction of Cersei and everyone around her. As for the Arya stuff, I think we are all still scratching our head over that plot decision.  
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Best quotes this week:

– “You’re shit at dying, you know that?” – The Hound

– “Varys! The most famous dwarf in the world.”  – Tyrion Lannister

– “Lesson number one, assume everyone wants to hit you. Because they do Pod, Everyone wants to hit a fucking squire.” – Bron

Cathy’s Take on ‘Looney Tunes: Back in Action’

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) – Family Friendly Romp | Wickedly Smart Adventure Romp

Directed by: Joe Dante

Starring: Brendan Frasier and Dharma from Dharma and Greg

How I Watched: When it was on Netflix for the first time

Everyone knows it’s summertime when I start donning my Daffy Duck windbreaker and start placing my Tweety Bird sunshade in my windshield to keep the faux leather seat of my Nissan Sentra from burning my legs. From Sylvester speaking in a lisp to Bugs Bunny saying, “What’s Up, Doc?,” summer is so completely full of Looney Tunes references. And because of the sweltering heat lately, I felt it my duty to talk about my favorite Looney Tunes movie; Looney Tunes: Back in Action, which is currently playing on Netflix. Looney Tunes: Back in Action follows the lineage of so many cartoon shows to make their way to the big screen alongside real life actors, such as Rocky and Bullwinkle, Space Jam (also featuring Looney Tunes: Back in Action characters) and the Muppets. And while these are all great movies, none of them are on Netflix this month.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action is a return to form for the characters of Looney Tunes: Back in Action. We see Bugs playing his sarcastic jokester type and Daffy (my favorite) being playfully mean and neurotic. We see Brendan Frasier being amazed and frustrated by everything that is going on, and Dharma from Dharma and Greg being rigid, but ultimately funny; reminding me of my third favorite actress, Rene Russo. The plot is that Bugs and Daffy and Dharma and Brendan Frasier are working together to save the world from being turned into monkeys. The evil villain in this movie is so funny and downright looney, that he should be a Looney Tune as well, but for the life of me, I cannot place where I have seen him before.

The movie is a laugh-a-minute with multiple jokes that are just for the adults in the audience. I first saw this movie about three years ago when it was on Netflix the first time, and I really enjoyed it. After a re-watch (and of course, because I am spending all my time studying film to help with Nick’s website), I found I got a lot of jokes that I may have missed the first time. So this is one film that I recommend watching twice on Netflix. One for the kid jokes, one for the adult jokes. Both viewings will leave you in stitches, and that’s a Cathy guarantee.

Ultimately, this film is a family friendly romp that has the lovable characters of many people’s childhood globetrotting the globe in a wickedly smart adventure tale with a great cast. Also, the film is (space) jam-packed with hilarious guest stars and cameos from famous people such as Jeff Gordon and Matthew Lillard, playing themselves. Keep your eyes peeled and enjoy this wonderful comedy.

Cathy Gives It: I give this movie 10/10 diamonds that turn people into monkeys.

A Recap of Thrones: S6 E7 – “The Broken Man”

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A Recap of Thrones: Season Six, Episode Seven: The Broken Man

By Holly Hill (@hollishillis)

CLEGANEBOWL GET HYPE! It’s finally happening. The Hound is alive and well, and as the episode started this way, let’s start the recap there as well.

We all knew something was up when our intro music didn’t suddenly start playing tonight, but instead we watch a group of the happiest people to ever step foot in Westeros build a wooden structure of some sort. Holy Ian McShane (that guy who says ‘cocksuckers’ a lot in Deadwood) joins the cast for an episode as a reformed man who seems to be the one we can thank for saving The Hound’s life after Arya left him for dead. He is alive and well, and possibly waiting for a good moment to go kill his brother, when all the good people he’s been chilling with are slaughtered. It’s a great way for him to take that axe he’s been using to angrily chop wood, and exact some revenge on the three guys who did the killin’. I’m expecting a full Hound recovery by the end of the season so he can fight and defeat his brother in Cersei’s trial by combat.

Speaking of Cersei, I think this will be her last season. It’s a shame because Lena Heady is such a great actress and I’ve really enjoying loving to hate Cersei these past few years. But, if we want The Hound to win this one, Cersei obviously will lose this one, and it’s pretty clear from the verbal bitch slap that Olenna gave her, The Lannisters are done for. Queen Margaery is playing a good long game (the stuffing of the rose symbol rather than the Sparrow symbol into her grandmother’s hand proves it). She’s just waiting for the perfect opportunity to shove Tommen off a roof after Cersei dies and call it good.

Sansa, Jon, and Davvos are off to ask for help from the last great houses of the North. It’s not going well, but the BEST scene of the night was watching nine year old Lyanna Mormont show us all how it’s done when it comes to leading a house. That actress killed it, and it was such a great moment. We can only hope that *theory* Cersei’s death with give Jamie a chance to go over to Brienne’s side and help bring the Northern Stark army the men it deserves. Also, yay for Bronn being back in action and being SO fucking over Lannisters paying their debts. We end the North storyline this week with Sansa finally giving in and writing to, I assume Petyr (as I’m sure he knew she would), to bring troops ASAP.

Yara Greyjoy surprises no one with her preference for vagina, and it is confirmed that once Theon gets his shit together they will sail to Mereen to side with Dany. Convenient that they have a ton of ships, and all the ships in Mereen’s harbor burned to dust. Good timing.

Also in Essos, Arya gets stabbed like seven times by The Waif and falls into a river. She then stumbles around bleeding out and no one does anything. That’s how it goes down in Bravvos. Before the stabbing, she is seen flaunting her wealth for passage to Westeros, then hanging out in the open, not watching her back, and enjoying the scenery. Did any of this seem OFF to anyone else? I’m thinking Arya DID flaunt her Westerosi tongue, and book passage LOUDLY all around town. But only so the Waif could hear about it. Then who knows. There already theories popping up about if she REALLY was stabbed, or if someone wearing her face was stabbed. It’s hard to say what’s happening here, but I think we can all rest assured that Arya will make it out of this one alive.
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Best quotes this week:

– “As long as I’m standing, the war’s not over.” – The Blackfish

– “Are you the worst person I’ve ever met? You’ve lost Cersei. It’s the only joy I could find in this Misery.” – Olenna Tyrell, Queen of Thornes

Cathy’s Take on ‘A Walk to Remember’

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A Walk to Remember (2002) – Fun Family Romp That Is Fun For The Whole Family | Cancer Romance

Directed by: Adam Shankman

Starring: Mandy Moore and Shane West

How I Watched: VHS Like, 30 Times

Sweet November. Love Story. The Fate in Our Stars. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl. These are all movies that take the tragedy that is cancer and turn them into a super romantic movie. All of these movies are five star affairs with great casts, but all of them pale in comparison with my all-time favorite film of all time; A Walk to Remember. I own this movie on VHS and I own this movie on a DVD-Blu-Ray combo pack that I bought at Best Buy on Black Friday 2011, though I do not own a Blu-Ray player. And now, starting June 1st, you and me and Earl and the Dying Girl can all watch A Walk to Remember on Netflix as it is the latest addition to the wonderful library of streaming films.

A Walk to Remember, like I said, is my favorite movie and I find it such a blessing to be able to share this recommendation with you loyal followers. It is about a young stallion of a guy played by Shane West as Landon Carter, also known as a modern day Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancing. Though there is no dirty dancing in this. He meets a wonderful religious girl named Jamie Sullivan played by pop-star turned actress, Mandy Moore. He gets forced to work on her school play and finds his new love of acting and relationship with Jamie to be a stabilizing force as well as reinvigorates his zest for life.

As their love grows, Jamie pulls away emotionally. She has a secret. She has cancer. Which is pretty amazing considering most people I know with cancer don’t keep it a secret. They talk about it all the time. My aunt had breast cancer for a while but she passed away. Every time she’d come over, she’d just complain about my cooking, saying that the chemotherapy won’t allow her to eat chicken fried steak, so I’d have to pull out Lean Cuisine Stroganoff that I usually saved for work for her. I understand she was sick, but I wouldn’t want to be alive if I couldn’t eat chicken fried steak. But she passed away. Just like Mandy Moore does at the end of this movie.

I highly recommend this movie for anyone who loves movies about true romance. I don’t know why cancer makes romantic movies more romantic. Maybe it is the fact that when you die, you don’t give people the opportunity to get bored or disappointed by you. They can choose to remember you as they want to cause you are no longer living. Sounds pretty romantic to me. This is a pretty fun family romp that is fun for the whole family. I have seen it like thirty times, so you should see it also.
Cathy Gives It: I give this movie 10/10 of those bags they keep chemotherapy in.

A Recap of Thrones: S06 E06 – “Blood of My Blood”

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A Recap of Thrones: Season Six, Episode Six: Blood of My Blood

By Holly Hill (@hollishillis)

It seemed like a rather dull episode, but when you think about it quite a bit happened, and a lot was revealed. We don’t hear anything from Sansa and Jon, or Tyrion and Varys, but some big revelations were made this episode that really set us up for the final four of the season.

The most exciting news by far was Benjen Stark’s return. It makes the second time (and possibly not last, if the books have anything to say about it) that a Stark has returned from the dead. Before Benjen saves Bran and Meera, we get to see the exciting last moments between Jamie and the Mad King in Bran’s visions. In about five minutes, Bran is now fully up to date on pretty much everything that has happened in Essos and Westeros, past and future. Oh, except TOWER OF JOY, OH MY GOD WHY ISN’T THIS CONFIRMED YET? We find out that Benjen is half Wight; the children of the forest stopped the ‘curse’ with dragon glass before he could transform completely into a White Walker. We also know that he knows about the previous three-eyed raven (the current one being Bran) so this could be a very exciting turn of events for Bran and Meera. Let’s hope they head toward The Wall, and eventually Winterfell to meet up with his siblings.

A lot of time was spent on Gilly and Sam this episode. This normally can turn out pretty boring, but it was actually a very interesting bit of the episode. Sam took Gilly to his father’s home, and no surprise, Sam’s father was exactly the kind of awful person Sam always said he was. Gilly stood up for Sam, but in the end ousted herself as a Wildling. Sam was going to leave her and baby Sam with his father while he is at the Citadel, but Sam FINALLY after six long seasons has grown up, and isn’t taking any more of his father’s shit. After a fight with this father he, baby Sam, and Gilly leave in the middle of the night, but not before stealing his father’s 500 year old family sword, Heartsbane, which means more to him than his entire castle, and family combined. What Sam hoped to accomplish with this we are still not sure, but it was good to see him finally flip the bird to his worthless father. Maybe he will take it back to the wall, knowing that his father will come for it. Then his father can see the White Walkers first hand.

In the biggest upset in Lannister history, Tommen and Margaery have decided to give up on her brother and serve the High Sparrow which pleases the common people, but leaves the rest of the Tyrell’s and the Lannister’s confused, and  a bit pissed off. Tommen is a compete pawn in this game, and I believe that Margaery has given up all her ambition to be Queen to serve the faith as much as I believe Ned Stark is going to come back with a sewn on head. I’m just not buying it. She’s in it for the end game, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Margaery is Queen on the Iron Throne when Daenerys finally shows up. I have a pretty good feeling this will be Tommen’s last season.

I also get the feeling that Cleganbowl is finally coming to a head. Cleaganbowl (meaning, the ‘Super Bowl’ battle between The Hound, and his brother, The Mountain), is a fan theory that dates back since we found out how much The Hound hates his brother, and how he burned him as a child. We never saw The Hound die, and it looks like Cersei is going to go to trial by combat with The Mountain as her champion. Could it be that the High Sparrow has The Hound hiding somewhere up  his sleeve, and we will finally get the justice we so desperately want to see The Hound receive? It might be far-fetched but one could hope.  

Tommen sends Jamie off to Riverun to take back the castle from the Blackfish. Little does he know he’s about to go up against Sansa Stark, Jon Snow, and his old flame Brienne. If The Mountain loses in trail by combat, Cersei might go bye bye, and then Jamie will be free to take a different side as the Lord of Casterly Rock. This is all speculation of course, and it’s hard to say what will happen here, only that we know it will be interesting.

Finally it is confirmed that Arya is not No One. She is most definitely and always has been Arya Stark. She refuses to make the kill that The Many Faced God desires, and takes her sword, Needle, back from its hiding place. Jaquin is saddened and sends the Waif who keeps beating Arya up, to dispose of her. Why the waif has always had it in for Arya I can’t really tell, unless she is super jealous that sexy Jesus Jaquin seems to prefer Arya to her. When Jaquin agrees to let the Waif dispose of Arya, he at least seems to do it reluctantly. Arya takes needle and lays down in her bed with it in the House of Black and White. Is she waiting for the Waif to come get her?

Dany rides with her Dothraki back to Mereen, but senses Drogon on the way. Dany makes a speech to her Dothraki about how they will take back Westeros, and it seems like a tired old speech for Dany to give at this point except this time she gives it on the back of a fully tamed Drogon. It’s a big deal for her to finally be worthy of his obedience to and show her power to the Dothraki. Even better if she rides to Mereen on it, and gets her ass on that ship to Westeros.

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Best quotes this week:

  • “That’s your father’s sword, won’t he come for it?” – Gilly
  • “He can bloody well try.” Samwell Tarly.

Cathy’s Take on ‘Ghost’

ghost

Ghost (1990) – Spooky Cute Lovey Dovey | Family Fun

Directed by: Jerry Zuckermanbergen

Starring: Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore

How I Watched: South Gate Retroplex in 1990

I know it isn’t Halloween but I got a spooky movie for you all. And sadly, a movie that is leaving Netflix in June, so be sure to grab at it. Believe it or not, I don’t believe in ghosts. I believe in Bigfoots and Draculas, but those make sense. Never been one to believe in ghosts, but I used to.

For a while my other nephew, Stephen, who is Donna’s 23 year old son (enough said), was living with me and while he was living with me, some strange occurrences would occur. Initially it was small stuff, like the refrigerator door left open or all the dog food would be spilled on the floor, and when I asked Stephen about it, he never knew what was going on. So I figured I had ghosts that were upset by Stephie’s presence. So much so, that I would find money missing from my wallet and once even awoke to find the condo filled with a dark and smelly mist, that originated from under Stephen’s door. I was darned scared out of my wits and tried to warn Stephen. I even went so far as to consider calling a priest or exorcist to clean out the spirits, but Stephen got a job in Denver and moved out and all the occurrences disappeared.  I realized later that it was my sneaky neighbor Dave causing all the problems. He didn’t admit to it, but he never would.

So my run-in with a ghost was less sexy than Demi Moore in the classic movie, Ghost, in which her husband dies and then still tries to keep her from dating other guys. But it is Patrick Swayze, so I can’t blame her for loving a ghost. Also there is a hilarious Whoopie Goldberg that plays a medium (My uncle said I should use the joke, “she’s awfully large to be a medium,” but I feel it is too offensive to be included, but that’s Mark for ya) who helps reuniting ghost Swayze and human being Demi Moore. It is a love tale for the ages and when I first watched it in theatres back in 1990, I am going to be honest, I joined a pottery class, but soon came to my senses. Ghosts don’t like pottery. They like Demi Moore. So I threw out my ceramics and got a pixie haircut and never looked back. But I never got another pixie haircut after that.

While it is a bit spooky, Ghost is a fun family romp that would do well either home alone on a Saturday night or in the background of a ritzy dinner party. It has a lot of really cool parts in it, including Patrick Swayze singing “Henry the Eighth, I Am.” Whoopie is hilarious and Demi Moore is beautiful. When the credits roll, you will be weeping from both happiness and sadness to know that a love like that could ever exist and that it is so fleeting. It is by far the greatest love story of all time, rivaling Kim and Kanye West and even Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. Definitely check out this romantic hit before it is gone off of Netflix.
Cathy Give It: I give this movie 10/10 pottery wheels.

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Similar Films: Ghost Dad, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, R.I.P.D.